BE Support Group Conversation Thread - 2013
Replies
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Angel that's a beautifully written post, thank you.
I completely agree.0 -
Hi Everyone,
I am new to the group. I am hopeful to find support here. I finally came to terms with my Binge Eating last week, I told my husband and sought help for the first time in my life and feel very anxious. I was just diagnosed with depression/anxiety that I already knew I was battling. My Binge Eating was given a name for the first time in 15 years. I am thirty years old and don't remember a time when Binge Eating wasn't a part of my life. There are times when it is awful and times when I think it isn't so bad. Right now it's pretty bad. 6 out of the last 8 days have ended in a Binge, I have put on 11 pounds because of it. I am beside myself and can't get a grip. I haven't worked out in this time either. I find once I Binge the day is ruined! No gym, no eating healthy and guilt takes over. I am really looking forward to reading and listening to the experience within this group.
My Road To Recovery Starts Now...0 -
Hi Everyone,
I am new to the group. I am hopeful to find support here. I finally came to terms with my Binge Eating last week, I told my husband and sought help for the first time in my life and feel very anxious. I was just diagnosed with depression/anxiety that I already knew I was battling. My Binge Eating was given a name for the first time in 15 years. I am thirty years old and don't remember a time when Binge Eating wasn't a part of my life. There are times when it is awful and times when I think it isn't so bad. Right now it's pretty bad. 6 out of the last 8 days have ended in a Binge, I have put on 11 pounds because of it. I am beside myself and can't get a grip. I haven't worked out in this time either. I find once I Binge the day is ruined! No gym, no eating healthy and guilt takes over. I am really looking forward to reading and listening to the experience within this group.
My Road To Recovery Starts Now...
So glad you are getting help and you are figuring out how to deal with it and stop!!! We all have done similar things. You can get control of this. Maybe not immediately, but you can make one good choice every day that will bring you closer to recovery!! Actually you already did that today by posting on here!!!:drinker:0 -
angelaengbrec
Great advice!!
Graelwyn75
Sometimes for a few days after a binge I am more hungry. I think my body wants the extra food. It feels like a withdrawl. Good job avoiding the binge!!!
shankay82
Welcome!!! So glad you are working on the BE! I was asked when my BE started by a therapist and I could not answer. I think I did it as a child too! Good luck on your journey!
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Hello Everyone!! I have had 4 days without a binge. Yesterday was my weigh in day for a challenge. My leader said I could skip weighing if I wanted to but I wanted to participate. I lost weight and did not binge. I tend to binge if there is a loss or a gain. Either way the scale used to send me to food. I decided yesterday that was not going to happen!! I was not going to binge. So I made sure I ate enough, got exercise and watched my stress level. It worked! I still had to keep telling myself not to binge. I gave myself a little pep talk when I thought I was craving food.
I still find myself going to the pantry and looking inside (and the fridge). It is like a habit that I just walk over and look for food even when I was not planning to eat anything.
Anyone else just browse their pantry or fridge a lot? It is a bad habbit of mine.
Have a great day everyone!0 -
Chibea,
I could've written your post. I just joined the group recently after learning that my problem with food was called Binge Eating....I didn't know and I've done it since I was 5 years old...I used to get up during my nap when everyone else was sleeping, and eat anything I could find. I just finished gaining 20 lbs for the bingeing I'd been doing since November.
You can do this...recognizing the reality is the first step. Then, taking responsibility for what you do. It is no one else's fault...you are the one who does it. Once you take responsibility, you're well on your way to ending the binges.
Lots of good advice and support here....check out the helpful books link. I've read several of them and they are very helpful, especially the one by Dr, Christopher Fairburn called "Overcoming Binge Eating".
Good luck and hope to see you around here
Donna L.0 -
Hi Everyone,
I am new to the group. I am hopeful to find support here. I finally came to terms with my Binge Eating last week, I told my husband and sought help for the first time in my life and feel very anxious. I was just diagnosed with depression/anxiety that I already knew I was battling. My Binge Eating was given a name for the first time in 15 years. I am thirty years old and don't remember a time when Binge Eating wasn't a part of my life. There are times when it is awful and times when I think it isn't so bad. Right now it's pretty bad. 6 out of the last 8 days have ended in a Binge, I have put on 11 pounds because of it. I am beside myself and can't get a grip. I haven't worked out in this time either. I find once I Binge the day is ruined! No gym, no eating healthy and guilt takes over. I am really looking forward to reading and listening to the experience within this group.
My Road To Recovery Starts Now...
I'm glad you're here. :happy:0 -
Browsing the pantry! I call it prowling the kitchen lol. Lately I'm giving myself 15 min windows - don't eat for 15 min and see how I feel. Then go another 15 min, and so on. I also like knowing that the food will still be available for anytime I might want it. It might not be in the house, because I just can't keep certain salty, carby things around, but it is always at the store waiting patiently for me
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Browsing the pantry! I call it prowling the kitchen lol. Lately I'm giving myself 15 min windows - don't eat for 15 min and see how I feel. Then go another 15 min, and so on. I also like knowing that the food will still be available for anytime I might want it. It might not be in the house, because I just can't keep certain salty, carby things around, but it is always at the store waiting patiently for me
Hi
I think that's a really good technique....I'm going to try it. I can't keep salty/carby things around either....lol
Donna L.0 -
I don't really browse the fridge anymore but I used to do that a ton, I also used to just stand in the kitchen for hours munching on random stuff
One thing thats helped me a ton with my BED is cooking.. I absolutely love being in the kitchen and I find when I am busy in there I'm not thinking about snacking.. today I bulk-cooked chicken, made my overnight oatmeal, roasted about 5lbs of carrots to store in tupperwares for meals roasted some beets and sweedes and made a whole tray of roasted potatoes for my boyfriend. I watch youtube and browse mfp the whole time and its a great distraction.
Finding a love for healthy food and a passion for spending the time to cook myself healthy meals has really helped me. I still fear all kinds of foods, but I feel comfortable in the kitchen when I am cooking0 -
I am also a kitchen prowler! :sad: Back and forth, back and forth, all night long.... :noway:
I give myself time blocks too - "just make it until 8:00 and if you're still hungry you can have something". Or I'll find myself in there and don't even remember the thought process it took to get there. So I leave. I obviously wasn't hungry, just needed 'something'.0 -
I love all the posting here. I can totatly relate. I caught myself prowling the kitchen (term stolen from Donna L.) last night. Luckily I had my lower calorie snacks to use. They kept me busy and satisfied.
I am doing better. Still fighting to find a therapist in my area. My current one is not working since she thinks there is no treatment for BED. I am going to see one that is out of my network in May. She is suposed to be awesome and she runs an eating disorder program nearby (it also is not on my insurance but she is the next best thing for me now)
Hopefully she can help me treat BED and work on my anxiety so I can stay on track.
I also have been doing better with binges. I have stopped myself twice this week when I could have eaten the whole kitchen. I still struggle but some weeks are easier than others.
I hope everyone has a great day!! If you need help reach out to us. I know I would be happy to help anyone. I am learning to ask for help when I need it. Wow that is hard.
Karen :laugh: :flowerforyou: :yawn: :huh: :bigsmile: :flowerforyou: :ohwell: :noway: :grumble: 
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Donna L.
I too realized I have binged since I was a child. I used food to replace love too.
MadDogManor
I am glad I am not the only one that browses! I like "prowling the kitchen " that is a good term
Good idea to wait 15 minutes. Gives you time to break the craving and make sure you want it.
tsikkz
Cooking is great! I love to cook. I bulk grill chicken and other lean meats. Then we have leftovers for lunch and quick dinners on busy days.
Behavior_Modi
I make a time for snacks at night. I give myself a window. I need to wait until a certain time to snack after dinner but well before bed. It helps keep me from grazing all night.0 -
What a relief to find this site.
I have most of the signs of an addict - hiding, constantly aware of food - looking for opportunities to sneak food, once starting binging finding it close to impossible to stop.
After a few weeks of binging every night I was feeling physically and emotionally awful. After dinner i'd stuff anything into my mouth - mostly bread, butter and cheese. Then I'd feel guilty and grossly stuffed - so eat more to cover the crappy feelings.
I've now managed 2 days of no binge and 2 days of tracking everything I eat. Was fortunate to be able to get exercise - worked doing gardening.
I'm focusing on one day at a time.
Thanks to each person who has written I know I'm not alone in this.
Anyone else in their fifties, still active and also struggling with this out of control BE?0 -
sailrunner
Welcome :flowerforyou:
One day at a time is the way to do it! You can beat this BE. I had some tough days recently and have been working hard to beat this BE. Good job on the two days! Celbrate those victories!!
Check out the book list thread. I have been reading some of the suggested books and they are helping me a lot.0 -
I had a terrible time from 3 pm on yesterday...right through until I went to bed. I finally gave in and popped a bag of popcorn. When I looked at the huge bowl I asked myself...why? why are you going to eat all this? I wasn't even hungry. So, I had two handfuls and gave the rest to my husband. I've been doing so well, I didn't want to blow it plus talking to myself about it really helped. I wanted to eat so bad.
The only thing I did yesterday was that I skipped lunch and had an iced coffee with 1 cup milk instead. I won't do that again because maybe the deprivation of lunch is what set me off. I'm not sure.
I'm back on track this am and not craving.0 -
I had a terrible time from 3 pm on yesterday...right through until I went to bed. I finally gave in and popped a bag of popcorn. When I looked at the huge bowl I asked myself...why? why are you going to eat all this? I wasn't even hungry. So, I had two handfuls and gave the rest to my husband. I've been doing so well, I didn't want to blow it plus talking to myself about it really helped. I wanted to eat so bad.
The only thing I did yesterday was that I skipped lunch and had an iced coffee with 1 cup milk instead. I won't do that again because maybe the deprivation of lunch is what set me off. I'm not sure.
I'm back on track this am and not craving.
Dladisheff- Congrats on being back on track and handing the popcorn away! That's always a big step that I have a hard problem with, even after I recognize I am not at all hungry!
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A nice blog post for today on http://ditchthebinge.com/stop-binge-eating/ about retraining your brain to recognize your positive patterns:
" [o]ur brains are programmed to look for patterns, to update our understanding of the world with fresh sensory information the entire time..."
"[R]focus her attention on everything she is doing well, everything that feels good and everything that works.
She is going to pay more close attention to it, be aware of it, notice it more often – and congratulate herself for noticing – until her brain starts to get familiar with the new pattern – and starts encouraging her to repeat it, over and over."
"It will look for more patterns, look for more instances of the success, find fresh new ways to update the pattern of experience and belief – so that having a good day is more normal (and more expected) than having a bad day."
So keep up those good days everyone and pat yourself on the back!0 -
Extremely negative vent below!!
Wallowing in self pity today. I have lots of serious issues I am dealing with in my life right now, and the light at the end of the tunnel got turned off unexpectedly, so I just lost all hope. Put on Bruce Springsteen and ate everything I could find all day long.
The good news is.... and only my friends here would understand this.....I was only over by 2000 cals!! I didn't have much high calorie food, so I filled up on some healthy fruits along with the rest of the junk food.
It was jealousy that triggered me. All my friends on here had substantial losses - one lost 10 pounds! I just felt like telling them all to go to Hell........nice aren't I ?:embarassed:
I am tired of being supportive and nice when I am desperately eating myself to death. :explode: The green eyed monster and the binge monster are working together in my life right now.
It's 5am..today is a new day. Huge thanks to DucksandOrang for your post. Just EXACTLY what I needed to hear.0 -
dladisheff
Good Job on the popcorn. I too notice if I skip meals or deprive myself a binge could happen later.
DucksandOrang
Thanks for sharing nice blog.
Chibea
Sorry you had a tough day. I too have seen friends losing and was jealous. I work so hard and the weight comes off so slow (expesically when I binge and gain). I hope today is better for you. It sounds like you binge like I do. I also eat healthy foods when I binge. I don't just eat junk I could binge on fruits, veggies etc.
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Another good day. Even though I went over a little yesterday. I allowed myself some junk food at the baseball game and it did not cause me to go on a binge later (sometimes junk foods cause me to binge later on)
Even though I was over some I am okay because I did not binge.
I am still having horrible hearburn. I stopped taking the anxiety meds the doc gave me that caused it. It is so bad I cannot swallow well. So today might be very bland and soft foods all day.
I hope everyone is doing well. Those of you having a tough day, hang in there. :flowerforyou:0 -
Chibea - I totally understand, we all have those days sometimes. It can feel like practically from the moment you wake up till the moment you go to sleep all you do is eat and beat up on yourself and repeat the cycle. And it definitely doesn't help when other people seem to have it so easy! But they have their own bad days and you have your good days so just move on to the next day and dont forget to be kind to yourself too! Hang in there!
Karendee - Health problems that also effect eating are the WORST! When I'm struggling with diet restrictions due to health I feel like - how many food related thoughts/issues can one person have in their head at one time?!?! Congrats on making it through a baseball game!!! Big accomplishment!0 -
Had a Hellish binge on Saturday night.
I had to perform Verdi's 'Requiem' with the Philharmonic Choir I am in, in front of about 1000 people in a cathedral. I had been both excited and stressed for sometime, as I had struggled learning the words by heart. (All Latin). I went there on less than 5 hours sleep, and was up much earlier than usual, and basically ended up having a lot of cake while in this town as I think at some level, I associated it with a day out. I do not often go anywhere outside of my usual routine.
I think the combined emotions at the end of the performance, of relief, a slight sense of failure at having learnt all the words, my mother telling me she was proud of me(a rare thing) and having had a much smaller dinner, in terms of bulk, than usual, plus TOM being due, sent me over the edge. I found myself craving and planning on the car journey home and had my choir pal stop off so I could buy junk. Totalled about 8000 calories for the day, although I purged.
I enjoyed most of the eating and did not get to that point of feeling uncomfortably full and disgusted by the sugar until towards the end. But woke feeling like total crap. Drained, depressed and craving and wanting more of the same sort of food. It took a massive battle of wills to drag myself out into town to get some essentials I needed without giving into my binge urges, and to then also get my butt to the gym at a time I am usually getting showered and ready to eat.
I am back on track, but still battling the pre menstrual munchies and desire to eat all things wheat, sugar and fat filled.
Chibea - Gosh, I too get jealous and upset when I see people on my list losing weight. It makes me feel such a failure as I have been stuck so long. Then I question all I am doing and debate just cutting calories and exercise and seeing if that loses it, or cutting my strength training and just doing cardio which got me down before.0 -
Ive slipped back into the habit of constantly grazing all night after i've had dinner, I think I need to find a way to break this habit again, does anyone have any ideas? I'm trying to keep busy and drink water but I think I might need to get some gum or something. I'm trying to keep my calorie intake high and ive become pretty good at lying to myself that another spoon of peanut butter is actually better because it keeps my calories high. Its not what I would call a "binge" more just habitual munching.0
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I understand the "habitual munching" after dinner. I do the same thing. Sometimes it leads to a binge, sometimes not. I have a planned snack then brush my teeth and my husband locks the refrigerator. It works most of the time. Good luck!
G - That must of been tough bingeing like that. I'm sure that all of those factors did play into and lead up to it. Are there things you would've done differently now looking back? Besides that there isn't much you can do besides move on. Hope you're doing better.
Yesterday was my birthday. I had a dinner out at Longhorn's planned and logged in and stayed within my calories but the closer I got to dinner, the more I began thinking about eating whatever I wanted. I thought I was going to make it eating what I had planned, but I didn't....I ate all kinds of stuff including a huge dessert. I felt overstuffed and awful afterwards. I think I felt entitled because it was my birthday. What I have to convince myself of is that "treating" myself well, means eating well and healthy, not overindulging. I need to care enough about myself to take good care of myself not treat my body like a garbage can. If I could do it over, I would eat a better lunch instead of skimping to save calories, have a decent snack and not looked at the menu. Then, remind myself that I'm "entitled" to treat myself well.
Donna~0 -
Check out the book list thread. I have been reading some of the suggested books and they are helping me a lot.
I am re-reading "When Food Is Love" by Geneen Roth. It is a good one!0 -
Going to bed after dinner and stuff is done is what works for me. After working all day at the hospital, my ankles hurt so bad that once I'm off them, I really don't want to get back up and go downstairs to the kitchen just to eat more food that I don't actually need. It's really hard for me to exercise or even walk because of the pain from standing all day, but I try to walk the dogs or even ride a bike every now and then. The Walk Away the Pounds DVD really tires me out, so I go to bed right after doing that, too! I'm buying new shoes every three months, and I feel pretty guilty about it because they are so expensive, but my loving husband says its ok :-)
Thanks to all for being here for me!
PS - Donna, happy belated B day :-)0 -
Thank you!
Do you know why your ankles hurt? Mine hurt for years and I had no idea why until a new nurse practioner said she thought I had "collapsed ankles" which, after a visit to the ortho doc, turned out to be true but called posterior tibial tendon dysfunction or PTTD. I had braces made and now they don't hurt so much.
Donna~0 -
Another good day. I gained about a half a pound this week and I did not binge because of it. Usually the scale is a big trigger. I have been getting on it once a week. This week will be tough to stay at my 1x a week rule since I gained. I am tempted to jump back on the scale and see if I lost that weight. I have to hope working hard this week will make it go away.
I am happy April is almost over it was a tough month for me eating wise. I had several binges in a row. Hoping in May to have less.
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DucksandOrang
Thanks! The heartburn did make it frustrating because I could not eat some very good foods because they made it worse.
Graelwyn75
Glad you are back on track. Good Job
tsikkz
Grazing is my downfall. I sometimes do it cause I am bored.
dladisheff
Happy Birthday!! Good Job too
MadDogManor
Shoes are very important. I had bad shoes and it caused a heel injury.0 -
Hi everyone I just found this thread and I though I would introduce myself. I am finding many of your responses very helpful and comforting.
I started my weight loss journey last April (2012). I have been doing really well up until a couple of months ago. I have no idea why, but every weekend I would want to binge. I have about 10 healthy meals that I love that I cycle through during the week and do really well basically Monday through friday when I am on my rigid schedule. I usually still drink some wine on Saturday evenings, but I exercise/ eat less during the day to compensate for that. Then it's back to the regular deficit on Sunday.
I don't know why for the past couple of months, at least one day on the weekends, always alone, at night, in my bedroom, I will go off on a binge. Usually pretty bad where I eat anything unhealthy in the house and if there isn't anything, I will drive to town to get crap. Usually in a zombie like state. I turn on the TV for background noise. And now the next day or two after a binge, food and binging again is all I can think about.
I feel like I have caught what could be a very serious problem somewhat in it's early stages and I am now doing everything I can to stop this cycle. I have a feeling that being restricted for so long in my diet has not helped my healthy mindset. Everyday I strive for my calories to be the lowest I can, not getting UP to my goal like I should.
I used to have a built in "cheat day or meal" on Sundays where I would go over, but I would enjoy myself and the thought of secret binging like I do now never crossed my mind. I don't know why I stopped doing those days, because it was working just fine. I guess I just fell in love with the scale number dropping. The scale number is NOT the most important thing. Learning to have a healthy relationship with food for the rest of my life IS. I am beginning to realize just how true this is now.
I am redoing my calorie goals and I am going to try to meet my daily goal as well as have a free day/ meal over the weekend to see if that helps. Make more room for treats here and there during the week so my mind doesn't think I will NEVER be able have those "bad" foods again, causing me to binge on them.
UGH sorry for the wall of text! Feels good to get that out there. You guys are so supportive and I know this weekend will be different. I am going to MAKE it different!0 -
Sailrunner I'm glad you are here in the group. ;D
Ducksandoranges thank you so much for the quotes from the blog. I've kinda stumbled onto this technique on my own by accident. I'm excited to read more about it.
Chibea I had to laugh at the part that you wanted to tell them all to go to hell. lmao Jealousy is a brutal emotion.
Donna, happy happy birthday!
Woodsy I liked your wall of text and I'm glad you're here.
Graelwyn I bet you are so happy to have the performance behind you. Something like that with all those crazy emotional situations can easily put me over the edge. I struggle with thinking I should cut calories to lose more weight, but for me I know that would push me towards binging (often) if I did that.0 -
woodsy0912
Welcome!! I have to add some treats in ocasionally. Also, if I am too strict on my calories and exercise it can lead to a binge (I tend to get strict and don't realize it)
hdkerr
Cutting more calories makes me prone to binge too.
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Happy May 1st everyone! I am so glad April is over. The beginning of that month sucked bad! I am so glad to be done with it.
I am still having horrible heartburn and may see my Doctor soon. It helps me get in my water though because I have to drink a lot to help me swallow. lol
I did not binge last night but wanted to eat for some reason. I am tired from the heartburn keeping me awake at night. I know being tired can cause me to slip on my food choices.0 -
Thanks Karen and HD! I am determined to make this weekend a good one. Going out for dinner/ bowling for a girls night this Friday and I am determined not to binge. In the past I would be spending hours trying to pre-log what I was going to eat/ drink and "cheat with" then feel guilty when I could not stick to the plan or would go over. Then this would lead to a "eff-it, I already screwed up the plan, might as well keep going attitude. Not this time!
My plan this time is to just enjoy myself in moderation and log it all after the fact. (Just to keep my diary accountable.)0 -
Ever since my concert on Saturday, I seem to have fallen into that 'don't care, don't want to exercise, just want to eat every food I craved for the last month' mode, even while part of my brain is screaming at me and reminding me of how unhappy I already am with my weight and size and is plotting on all manner of methods to lose the gain from the present binging. My TOM is due any day. Some months it does not affect me like this. It depends on other events and stressors in my life at the time. With the calories I have inhaled, there is the potential for a 4Ib gain.
Sure, I have done this in the past, and returned to normal, and gone back down, but that does not help my current mode of feeling fat, fleshy and frustrated that these really bad binges always seem to hit in the days before I have to go to stay with my mother in London and lose some control of my routine. Obviously there is a connection there. I know I will have to eat out while there, I know that once there I tend to somehow relax more and all intention of skipping desserts flies out of the window, I know that although I belong to a gym that has a branch up the road, it will be a struggle to fit it in... I know I will gain more weight there.
Pretty depressed right now. It was a glorious day today. I was meant to embrace it and go on a long bike ride, but what I did was stay up half the night on this bloody site and binge. When the alarm went off, I felt too drowsy and dispirited to bother getting up to bike, and in the end, I simply went to the shops, bought more binge foods, had cake and cappuccino while out, and came home.
How can I enjoy my birthday weekend when I go there knowing I am heavier and am going with a bf who is in control of himself and is lean? It makes me resent him so much, even though I know it is not his problem. But just his being with me, makes me feel more of a fat failure.
Summer is almost upon us and I am living in the same crappy clothes, usually my gym gear, because I feel too large to wear anything nice. Or rather, I have gotten into the mindset that unless I am wearing a size Uk 6 (USA 0-2), I must be immensely big.0
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