BE Support Group Conversation Thread - 2013
Replies
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Hey Everyone, I have recently been diagosed with Bullima Nervosa (binge not vomit) been put on lexapro and go to a psychologist twice a month (all i can afford). Ive been having a bad day today mainly I think because its my first day of my woman time(haha). I have been trying an eat every hour tool that my psychologist told me to try and its been so sooo good until today. Argh, i feel sick because I ate too much but I still want more so aggrevating. Especially since I lost a kilo and was so happy this morning and now I want to eat. :-( I just want to go asleep and wake up in a new day but no its 3.25pm loads more time to eat :-(
Hi, I struggle with bulimia too (after a history of anorexia), but am a purge type, though that is becoming less and less frequent, along with the binges. Eating hourly would never work for me, it would just trigger me to be even more food obsessed, and to want more. Also, it would be pretty intrusive on life trying to fit all those snacks in. I chose intermittent fasting instead. It allows for a shorter period of time to eat, meaning you can eat a large enough meal that you don't feel tempted to binge. But, good luck with what has been suggested to you, and feel free to add me for support.0 -
What a crazy few weeks for me! I am again looking for some kind of help with BE. I see a therapist and a psychairst. The Pshych is the one that said there is no treatment for BE. I am once again looking for a doctor that knows about BE. Most of the programs in my area are not on my insurance. That really sucks. Once is far away and may have some day programs. I will look into those for now. I am frustrated because I need to get this under control.
I am also reading books too. One I just started is Nice Girls Finish Fat. I jhave read some by Gennen Roth too.
Today is better and I am feeling okay. I went to an Overeaters annomyus groups last night. It was not for me. They have some beliefs that just don’t work. It was sad because I can relate to the women I met there. Just not the methods they use.
…….
rani_87, Welcome! I have had a tough time lately too. We just need to keep trying and we will beat this someday.
rincoglionita, I have heard of topomax. My current doctor says there is no treatment for BE. I am looking for other options. Most in the area are not on my insurance. (Which sucks). I talked with one residential facility and the lady recommended topomax. I am so frustrated because the pyscharist seems to think mosty anexoria and bulmia are what are treated in those facilities. I am looking into some things.
Graelwyn75 Thanks for the info! I have heard of thoise therapies and none of them are used by my therapist or the psychologst. I see the therapist tomorrow and may ask anout that. Maybe he was planning to start that soon.
DopeyDudleyDu, I suggest distraction! That works for me sometimes. A wlak, a movie, playing a game, reading a book…etc. GOOD LUCK
jaimrlx, I have been there. I was so hopeless the other day I wanted to go check into a hospital. I hope today is better for you.
prestonam, I hope you are doing better today.0 -
Hello friends,
Just making conversation. Do you do better when you weigh in often, or better when you don't?
Personally, I do better when I don't. I have paid attention to how the scale makes me feel (whether I gain or lose), and it always seems to upset me. Even if I have a really good loss, it's just never enough. Plus my weight loss seems to be in a delayed cycle. When I was consistently losing I would plateau for a few weeks and then have a nice loss, over and over the cycle went. And it would just make me so mad for those few weeks I wasn't losing. So, better to stay away from it and just keep doing what I'm doing to change my behavior to lead a healthier life without bingeing. Right now I've been weighing in about once a month.
Diane0 -
It is so different for everone...this weighing thing. For me, I do better if I weigh in daily. It doesn't upset me and I need to see that number. It orients me to reality and I tend to ignore/avoid/be oblivious to, reality. I am morbidly obese and you wouldn't think it would be easy to avoid knowing how much I weigh, but I do avoid it. I'm always surprised when I look in a mirror. So, seeing that number pulls me back to reality and grounds me. I know that for a lot of people, it just stresses them out and I can understand that but for me it's just the opposite....I find being grounded in the reality of the situation to be calming....go figure.
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Hello friends,
Just making conversation. Do you do better when you weigh in often, or better when you don't?
Personally, I do better when I don't. I have paid attention to how the scale makes me feel (whether I gain or lose), and it always seems to upset me. Even if I have a really good loss, it's just never enough. Plus my weight loss seems to be in a delayed cycle. When I was consistently losing I would plateau for a few weeks and then have a nice loss, over and over the cycle went. And it would just make me so mad for those few weeks I wasn't losing. So, better to stay away from it and just keep doing what I'm doing to change my behavior to lead a healthier life without bingeing. Right now I've been weighing in about once a month.
Diane
I was a slave to the scale until I went through my insane period of daily binge eating late last year. I was on it every evening and my mood was very much impacted by it. I was actually just underweight back then, yet seeing a few Ibs fluctuation would really impact me badly. Now that I am heavier, I wonder just what I was on, lol. It was my old anorexic mindset back in action, basically. I hardly get on at all now. Last time was about 3 weeks ago, so I guess it is monthly for me now. I go more on what I see in the mirror at the gym when I am working out. I am seeing lean muscle, so I must be doing something right.
Edited to add, I would also tend to binge in more recent times, if I got on the scale and the number was not as I had hoped for or expected. Even if I shrugged my shoulders and got on with my day, obviously at some level it affected me, as I would still end up overeating the same evening.0 -
Like lot of us, my journey started with the scale. I hadn't realized how far I had let myself go until I weighed for the first time..
I weigh in everyday but since I started cutting in abs it doesn't bug me. I more go off now how my stomach looks, but before I started showing, even the tiniest fluctuations would affect my whole day, especially if after a night of binging I was heavier I would feel the feelings of shame and guilt all over again.
I really really must stress how important taking measurements is! if you haven't, do it NOW. I only check my measurements when I am feeling depressed, as it always motivates me.
I have been the same weight since November but I can promise you I am a hell of a lot leaner than I was back then, I also own calipers I use, but if you're not a bodybuilder it isn't really necessary.
Remember, the scale goes up and down, but lose pants don't lie!0 -
Remember, the scale goes up and down, but lose pants don't lie!
This made me smile.
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It is the same here for me. I use the scale as one of my tools in my handy tool box. It stops me from drifting too far off course. It helps me with binging also. I know this is not recommend at all by many therpists but many do advocate it as long as you don't use the number to berate yourself or feel sad when it goes up and you don't know why. I don't get upset if if goes up period. If I have been eating right and it continues to go up or something I keep going.It is so different for everone...this weighing thing. For me, I do better if I weigh in daily. It doesn't upset me and I need to see that number. It orients me to reality and I tend to ignore/avoid/be oblivious to, reality. I am morbidly obese and you wouldn't think it would be easy to avoid knowing how much I weigh, but I do avoid it. I'm always surprised when I look in a mirror. So, seeing that number pulls me back to reality and grounds me. I know that for a lot of people, it just stresses them out and I can understand that but for me it's just the opposite....I find being grounded in the reality of the situation to be calming....go figure.
Weighing regularly or daily does not work for everyone but it works for me since I went most of my life without stepping on a scale and my weight loss surgeon's nurse told me he wanted me to weigh myself every day for the rest of my life I thought he was nuts. But now I wished I had listened to him. If I had I would not have re-gained some of my weight.
Now I weigh everyday and move on.....0 -
Hugs!! You know what to say to start a conversation......Do what works for you babe! But I totally know how you feel. I know weighing daily works for me but in the back of my mind I still feel guilty about having to do it to keep my binging at bay. But no more. I am done with my doubts because I know it helps me and proof is in the pudding for me.Hello friends,
Just making conversation. Do you do better when you weigh in often, or better when you don't?
Personally, I do better when I don't. I have paid attention to how the scale makes me feel (whether I gain or lose), and it always seems to upset me. Even if I have a really good loss, it's just never enough. Plus my weight loss seems to be in a delayed cycle. When I was consistently losing I would plateau for a few weeks and then have a nice loss, over and over the cycle went. And it would just make me so mad for those few weeks I wasn't losing. So, better to stay away from it and just keep doing what I'm doing to change my behavior to lead a healthier life without bingeing. Right now I've been weighing in about once a month.
Diane
One day at a time......0 -
Thanks everyone for the support about the eating disorders centers. I did find one that takes my insurance but it is farther away. I am going tomorrow morning for an evaluation. I am starting to see how my BE has gotten worse over the last few months. I know I need help at this point I would consider medication while I work on therapy.
I am so grateful to have all of you right now. I feel like all of you “get it” and know how BE feels. I know we are all different but it is comforting to know I am not alone.
Diane, I am better without the scale. It messes me up if I am down or up on the scale.
I used to weigh every day even more than once a day. I thought I could handle it but I was wrong. It was becoming an addiction. Everyone is different though. I used to worry if I stayed off the scale I would slip up and start gaining. But with water eight I always felt so terrible when I was up .
rincoglionita, I agree! So glad you said the doctor is wrong! She even mentioned that most residential facilities are for ananorexia and bulimia. I told her I had such a bad week I almost checked myself in and that was her response.
Graelwyn75, thanks! That is just what I need. I am reading a book now too. I was hoping for some guidance from therapy but they have not done that after 6 weeks.
Also, I stopped using the scale when you convinced me it was not the best. I shoud thank you for that! It is great staying off that scale!
DopeyDudleyDu
, good job!
prestonam, I sometimes want to binge when I lose. I might be sabatoging myself though.0 -
I always want to binge when I lose weight and really have to fight it tooprestonam, I sometimes want to binge when I lose. I might be sabatoging myself though.0 -
I always want to binge when I lose weight and really have to fight it tooprestonam, I sometimes want to binge when I lose. I might be sabatoging myself though.
I will fight it more now!
I am feeling positive today. I am going for an evaluation for BED. Hopefully it all works out and I can finally get some real help.
Just wanted to stop by here first and say have a great day buddies!!0 -
I always want to binge when I lose weight and really have to fight it tooprestonam, I sometimes want to binge when I lose. I might be sabatoging myself though.
me too, don't know what's with that...maybe I don't feel as muc pressure to lose?
I just binged...my last final of my 3rd year of university finished this morning, this time it was...'relief' ?? usually it's anxiety....0 -
I always want to binge when I lose weight and really have to fight it tooprestonam, I sometimes want to binge when I lose. I might be sabatoging myself though.
I will fight it more now!
I am feeling positive today. I am going for an evaluation for BED. Hopefully it all works out and I can finally get some real help.
Just wanted to stop by here first and say have a great day buddies!!
I took a book out of the library
Binge-Eating Disorder: Clinical Foundations and Treatment Mitchell, Devlin, Zwaan, Crow, and Peterson 2008....has a session by session therapist guideline for treatment0 -
I'm totally out of control right now...I feel gross0
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Candycane777
I will look for that book! I have been reading a lot on BED lately. thanks
Sorry you feel out of control. April has been out of control for me. I probaby binged 50% of the time. You can do this keep fighting!!
I got my eval and they had a 5 day program from 8-1pm monday-friday. It is a long drive for me and would be hard to make it everyday. I decided to wait for their evening program starting in May. In the meantime I will see a new therapist (again) and see what I can do on my own. I even looked into a Binge Eating study. I would get therapy and meds. Not sure if I will do that though. I need real treatment not a study.
I have decided I am determined not to binge today. I have made the decision that I will make sure I eat enough to keep satisified and address any emotional problems as the arise instead of eating the emotions.
Have a grea weeked everyone!0 -
Thanks for the book tip!
I find that I do much better when I've eaten enough throughout the day....it really helps.
Donna L.0 -
I binged over 1000 calories before 6am this morning
I'm well past wallowing in self misery after a binge but I wonder if any of you experience this, as it was fairly new to me, and frankly, a little disturbing.
I couldn't sleep. I knew I wasn't hungry but I kept waking up during the night wanting nothing more than to eat everything. I kept waking up, like 3 or 4 times and I'm pretty disciplined these days so I told my brain to suck it and went back to sleep. I watched some cooking videos and one time I got up and talked to my boyfriend (hes unemployed so he stays up all night) for a few mins then went back to bed.
The night before this I couldn't sleep because I had abdominal pain, higher than TOM, but the same kind of cramping and release, and it was higher than erm "bathroom pain" too, like really high up under a nd below my ribs.. and I got up and had a bowl of rasin bran and the pain went away, but It really wasn't hunger pains, im sure of that, but eating the food somehow made me relaxed enough to deal with the pain. I wonder if my body was just expecting another carb-loaded sugary treat before bed because of that night.
Anyway, this morning at 5am I wake up for work, and what scares me is the feeling wasn't gone. I still needed carbs, any carbs! and I ate 1000 calories of them in a zombie state this morning. I just kind of had a "what the **** did I just do?" kind of moment, I'm sure you guys are familiar with it. I did eat my planned "breakfast" first, but it was like as soon as I started eating the animal took over.
Anyway, do you guys ever have binge urges continue to hound you into the next day? I've never had a binge urge a night of sleep didn't get rid of, and I never feel binge urges in the morning.0 -
Hi Tsillz,
I just checked in and saw your post and , sure, that sounds familiar to me. I have never woken up from sleep to eat, but I definitely keep thinking about excessive eating from one day to another and it wears me down eventually most of the time once it gets started. If I struggled to stay under control the night before, I will definitely binge in the morning if I don't get awake enough to be logical before I start eating.
A trigger for me is pain, so I would have been vulnerable after the night of pain you had!! It does sound like your stomach was overproducing acid. Maybe in anticipation of a big meal. Mine does that sometimes and I can usually calm it down with Tums, milk, or cottage cheese. Also raising up the bed so my head is higher than my stomach helps.
So, yes, once it gets started, it often stays with me for days. I can't sleep it away.0 -
Only time it has happened after I have slept, has been when I have not had enough sleep and have had an early appointment with the doctor or something and so not been able to get to the gym first. Also, in the past when I had been trapped in a very bad period of binge eating, I would sometimes get up with a strong urge to go out and get a cooked breakfast, followed up by all kinds of other unhealthy foods. That has not happened since late last year though, thank goodness as that was a really bad time in my life, where I was literally buying carrier bags full of everything you can think of to binge on. Expensive as well.
The time I tend to binge is before sleep, generally. I tend to hit the gym or my bike within an hour of waking, so that prevents problems earlier in the day.
Regarding the stomach issues, I would get it checked out in case it is an ulcer as that can cause pain that is normally eased by eating, and can also cause false hunger.0 -
I binged over 1000 calories before 6am this morning
I'm well past wallowing in self misery after a binge but I wonder if any of you experience this, as it was fairly new to me, and frankly, a little disturbing.
I couldn't sleep. I knew I wasn't hungry but I kept waking up during the night wanting nothing more than to eat everything. I kept waking up, like 3 or 4 times and I'm pretty disciplined these days so I told my brain to suck it and went back to sleep. I watched some cooking videos and one time I got up and talked to my boyfriend (hes unemployed so he stays up all night) for a few mins then went back to bed.
The night before this I couldn't sleep because I had abdominal pain, higher than TOM, but the same kind of cramping and release, and it was higher than erm "bathroom pain" too, like really high up under a nd below my ribs.. and I got up and had a bowl of rasin bran and the pain went away, but It really wasn't hunger pains, im sure of that, but eating the food somehow made me relaxed enough to deal with the pain. I wonder if my body was just expecting another carb-loaded sugary treat before bed because of that night.
Anyway, this morning at 5am I wake up for work, and what scares me is the feeling wasn't gone. I still needed carbs, any carbs! and I ate 1000 calories of them in a zombie state this morning. I just kind of had a "what the **** did I just do?" kind of moment, I'm sure you guys are familiar with it. I did eat my planned "breakfast" first, but it was like as soon as I started eating the animal took over.
Anyway, do you guys ever have binge urges continue to hound you into the next day? I've never had a binge urge a night of sleep didn't get rid of, and I never feel binge urges in the morning.
I never binge in he morning...I may have 2 or 3 coffees...I do tend to binge the day after a binge, I go for a few days. I binged yesterday, and I was supposed to go out for dinner tonight so I didn't eat very much today, now they cancelled, and I have no plan, and I hope I don't give in. I still have some library books here - so maybe I will look up 'what to do' - I had lost 15 pounds, and now with these binges it is creeping back on...I really really don't want that to happen.. I bought some nice new pants and everyting..I will make a tea right now0 -
I set a goal not to binge yesterday. My calorie limit is a little higer than most people but it is doable. I also set a time limit on exercise. I tend to over do it going for 90 minutes or more. That was wearing my body out. I was getting injuries and soreness (too much soreness) and that made me hungry because I was working so hard. My time limit is now 1 hour. I am also not eaitng my exercise calories but I set my calorie goal higher. So hopefully after a week it will all even out.
tsikkz
I also would eat when I could not sleep. It was a habit I had. It took a long time to get rid of it. I have to stay upstairs away from the kitchen. Also, my binges so hound me the next day. If I do binge the next day is even harder.
Chibea
I can't sleep it away either. Stomach acid is a good point. That could be it!
Graelwyn75
you are right binging is expensive! I binge before sleep too. I have to be extra careful at night.
Candycane,
the binges to make me gain the weight bacl quickly. I keep losing and gaining the same few pounds. It sucks.0 -
Hi, I have bulimia and for the past 2 days have binged on anything fatty/high carbs/sugary I could find in my house. Seen as my mum doesn't buy confectionaries I binged today and last night (2.30am!) on peanut butter, jam on bread, cereal, peanuts, cheese on toast, yoghurts, and tea biscuits. I ate so much and because it was mixing salty and sugary I genuinely felt sick. Problem is Im so used to gagging I now can't vomit anything due to my gag reflex. This left me feeling mortified and I stupidly drank salt water and baking soda to try and enduce vomiting.. which got me nowhere except feeling extremely dizzy and with bad stomach cramps.
I checked my weight and have put on 1 kg just within 2 days of b/p. Is there anyway I can lose this rapidly? Im becoming so desperate now I'm considering plastic surgery which I don't have money for but which I would get a loan for.
Definitely lost my mind, and losing my battle to bulimia.
Please if you are in similair situations and would like to overcome this add me with a message. I really want to talk to people about it and help people recover as it will be helping all of us. I can't tell my family or friends because they wouldn't understand.
Lets beat bulimia the bully together.
Bexta x0 -
Bexta,
You are in the right group to help you beat the bully!! Just about everyone on here has been where you are. We are beating it, one day at a time and you can too!
These are my suggestions. Take what is useful to you and ignore the rest.
1. Log your food. You don't have to share with everyone, but for your own sake put down in black and white what you are eating and think about what that does to your body. Sit right there and eat in front of the screen. Log as you are eating and see the calories, fat, and sodium numbers go up. Be logical, not emotional!
2. Be kind to yourself. You are already punishing yourself by eating so much. Be a good friend to yourself and do positive self talk, always, no matter how much you eat and how bad you feel.
3. Don't let the bulimia bully convince you that you have no control. Maybe yesterday you didn't, but today you can take steps to protect your self from that bully. Small steps in the right direction will make a huge difference. Don't let the bully stop you from taking the positive actions that you can TODAY. Yesterday is gone.
That's what is working for me. I hope it helps. Do keep coming here and writing about how you feel. We understand. Your honesty helps all of us to do better.0 -
Hi, I have bulimia and for the past 2 days have binged on anything fatty/high carbs/sugary I could find in my house. Seen as my mum doesn't buy confectionaries I binged today and last night (2.30am!) on peanut butter, jam on bread, cereal, peanuts, cheese on toast, yoghurts, and tea biscuits. I ate so much and because it was mixing salty and sugary I genuinely felt sick. Problem is Im so used to gagging I now can't vomit anything due to my gag reflex. This left me feeling mortified and I stupidly drank salt water and baking soda to try and enduce vomiting.. which got me nowhere except feeling extremely dizzy and with bad stomach cramps.
I checked my weight and have put on 1 kg just within 2 days of b/p. Is there anyway I can lose this rapidly? Im becoming so desperate now I'm considering plastic surgery which I don't have money for but which I would get a loan for.
Definitely lost my mind, and losing my battle to bulimia.
Please if you are in similair situations and would like to overcome this add me with a message. I really want to talk to people about it and help people recover as it will be helping all of us. I can't tell my family or friends because they wouldn't understand.
Lets beat bulimia the bully together.
Bexta x
I have intermittent bulimia. By this, I mean that the binge/purge has become a lot less common for me. It has only happened twice this month so far and the binges were not extreme ones. I went through an appalling 6-7 week phase last year when I binged daily, often several times a day, and purged. It was always the sugary, fatty foods, like biscuits, doughnuts, muffins, cheesecake, chocolate, ice cream, cream cakes, brownies, flapjack. I would buy the whole lot. I wanted everything because I was feeling horribly depressed and worthless after someone I liked a lot and who had offered their support, turned their back on me. I did not exercise either. I gained about 14 Ibs in that time. Still trying to get the rest of it off 6 months later too.
They key for me has been quitting the scale for the most part, and focussing on just doing the best I can do put healthy food in my body, and to create a lean body by doing strength training. I focus on the mirror and not the scale now more. I also find I have to exercise as early in the day as possible to ensure the rest of the day goes smoothly. I started intermittent fasting a few weeks ago, which has also helped me. I eat all of my daily calories in the evening, basically. That seems to have got me more focussed on getting in a good set of nutrients. Almost a challenge to see how nutritious I can make my main meal now that I have all those calories to play with.
I allow myself a few squares of very dark chocolate each evening, sometimes some chocolate custard, frozen, to curb off any cravings, and I remind myself of what is in the junk I put into my body during a binge and how I am feeding the corporations who produce it, knowing people like us get addicted to it. I visualise my body as the living thing it is, and what I am doing to it when I stuff in excess food.
I also ensure I eat enough. You will binge if a) you are eating too little b)you are aiming to weigh too little. The body does not like that. The body does not like being constantly punished, fullstop.0 -
Bexta
I have BE not bulima so I am no expert. I am seeing therapy for my BE. Therpay is a personal decision but it helps me so much. I hope you are okay today! Take it one day at a time. Don't worry about losing the weight fast. If you diet too strictly from your binge then you might feel like you are punishing yourself. It would be better to just eat normally the next few days. Some is water weight from all the salt in the foods. Your body will lose some of that automacially. HUGS
I beat the binge all weekend! And the scale rewarded me with all the weight I gained the last 2 weeks leaving and taking some with it. Now I have to focus hard today because I tend to binge on days I weigh in. I only weigh once a week now. I am going to focus hard today and keep busy so I do not binge on a day like this. At least I am recognizing the days that I have problems and what triggers me!
I also changed my pounds lost and re-set it to when I began MFP. So now I see the smaller weight I have left and can not focus on how much I already lost. The weight I lost already would almost make me feel like a failure now if I don't lose every week.0 -
Bexta -
I have been right there where you are.
I no longer purge, but I still have problems with binging (which is obviously why I'm here) so I know how awful that cycle can be. I have gagged myself, abused laxatives, over exercised, HEAVILY restricted calories, you name it.
If you want to get better/become healthy (both physically and emotionally) THE VERY FIRST THING YOU MUST DO IS STOP PURGING.
Okay, I KNOW that sounds impossible, but take it from me: You have basically no chance of stopping your binging behavior unless you stop purging FIRST.
Purging creates a cycle and it also reinforces the idea that even if you binge you can "always make it up later." You can not. All you will do this way is set yourself up for a future binge.
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The second step is to battle the binge! There are a lot of different strategies that work for people, but some general tips that help most people:
1) Don't be too restrictive with yourself. It is better to set a small deficit and make it daily, then to set a HUGE deficit, make it for 6 days and spend your seventh day alternating between the refrigerator and the toilet... : )
2) Try to identify what triggers you to binge. Is it because you are bored or lonely? Are you feeling stressed out? Are you not putting enough food into your body the rest of the week, triggering an instinct to overeat? You can figure this out by keeping track of what you were doing, where you were, how you felt, who you were with, what happened earlier in the day, etc. for days when you binge.
3) Log it ALL. Being honest with yourself is the best thing that you can do.
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Other than that, there are a LOT of differing opinions on what works. The answer if different for everyone.
You've definitely come to the right place. Everyone here is SUPER supportive, and there is so much valuable information in these forums!0 -
bump0
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Angel that's a beautifully written post, thank you.0
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Struggled somewhat today. I had strong urges to buy milk chocolate, among other things, while out, and actually did buy a small chocolate bar, but threw it out as I want to keep that sort of thing to Saturdays only. But it was hard, the craving was very intense. I also had a rumbling stomach, which is a first since starting this Intermittent Fasting. Usually, I am fine until close to my eating window. No idea if this is an aftereffect of Saturday's binge, or if the exercise I am doing is too intense(I often do an hour of cardio followed by 30-45 minutes strength training a few times a week, as well as cardio with resistance the other days. It always seems to get harder also when I go below a certain weight.0
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