Is it better to poof?
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Most women say that they would LIKE a man who does whatever you want all day long; but they wouldn't respect him, because they'd know he was a pushover and that they could do better. They'd leave him after a week.
Men say they want women to approach, because it makes life easier for them. But in the end, they won't be able to respect themselves knowing that you had to do the work for them, and they will know in the back of their minds that if they just push through their fears of approaching, they could get a better girl. This is a bad foundation for a relationship."
- The Rules Revisited
not sure who said what but this caught my eye because I've been finding this to be true more often than not lately
Except for THE MANY MANY TIMES IT IS NOT.0 -
I'm getting f*cking sick and tired of the people who can't see that there's more than one way to get a match.
I'm also done making nice. If people are going to say stupid things I'm going to stop holding back because we're past the point of things being said out of ignorance and way into offensive territory.
Honestly, from some of you, I expected better.0 -
Most women say that they would LIKE a man who does whatever you want all day long; but they wouldn't respect him, because they'd know he was a pushover and that they could do better. They'd leave him after a week.
Men say they want women to approach, because it makes life easier for them. But in the end, they won't be able to respect themselves knowing that you had to do the work for them, and they will know in the back of their minds that if they just push through their fears of approaching, they could get a better girl. This is a bad foundation for a relationship."
- The Rules Revisited
not sure who said what but this caught my eye because I've been finding this to be true more often than not lately
Except for THE MANY MANY TIMES IT IS NOT.
yes because you have had all the experiences I have had lately. did you take the time to read my comment or do you always have to oppose everything that everyone says?
I said "I" have been finding this to be true LATELY. I never said all the time or by all men and women, did I?
I was talking about ME and MY experiences. Seriously kits you really need to chill sometimes!
ETA: I also opened my comment with "I'm not sure who said what" because I wasn't following the whole thread so I wasn't sure what discussions had already taken place. I thought this would prevent anyone from jumping down my throat.0 -
Most women say that they would LIKE a man who does whatever you want all day long; but they wouldn't respect him, because they'd know he was a pushover and that they could do better. They'd leave him after a week.
Men say they want women to approach, because it makes life easier for them. But in the end, they won't be able to respect themselves knowing that you had to do the work for them, and they will know in the back of their minds that if they just push through their fears of approaching, they could get a better girl. This is a bad foundation for a relationship."
- The Rules Revisited
not sure who said what but this caught my eye because I've been finding this to be true more often than not lately
Except for THE MANY MANY TIMES IT IS NOT.
yes because you have had all the experiences I have had lately. did you take the time to read my comment or do you always have to oppose everything that everyone says?
I said "I" have been finding this to be true LATELY. I never said all the time or by all men and women, did I?
I was talking about ME and MY experiences. Seriously kits you really need to chill sometimes!
ETA: I also opened my comment with "I'm not sure who said what" because I wasn't following the whole thread so I wasn't sure what discussions had already taken place. I thought this would prevent anyone from jumping down my throat.
I'm not the one claiming individual experiences as fact - the quote said that women shouldn't pursue men because because blah blah offensive bullsh*t.
I already commented and pointed out that's not always true, that some men do lean that way, but some men are totally fine with it. It became a thing back and forth already, then even after I said I was getting tired of having to always point out the same thing you came on and saidI've been finding this to be true more often than not lately
Which shows you agree withMen say they want women to approach, because it makes life easier for them. But in the end, they won't be able to respect themselves knowing that you had to do the work for them, and they will know in the back of their minds that if they just push through their fears of approaching, they could get a better girl.
That is NOT you saying that in your experience it's true (which by the way, still f*cking offensive).
Jumping halfway into a conversation doesn't make it okay that you're literally agreeing that men only use forward women as placeholders that they don't respect. Maybe instead of accusing me of not reading your comment, or opposing everything, you should take the time to do so yourself. Pot, kettle, black.0 -
Poofing should only be for over-the-top behavior that requires poofing. If someone is nice, respectful, and has been communicative in a good way, he or she deserves at least the same manner of respect in turn.
Also, poofing is barely acceptable if it's only been a date or two, but really...
It's not that hard to text something that lets a person know it's cut off, whether nice or not. I've always appreciated it more when I get a message.
I was poofed 3x by the same person. Very painful. I spose it was my fault for letting him back in a 2nd and 3rd time.
It still doesn't make the pain any less painful.
Im the kind of person that tells it like it is, so when this happened to me, I kinda lost it.0 -
Most women say that they would LIKE a man who does whatever you want all day long; but they wouldn't respect him, because they'd know he was a pushover and that they could do better. They'd leave him after a week.
Men say they want women to approach, because it makes life easier for them. But in the end, they won't be able to respect themselves knowing that you had to do the work for them, and they will know in the back of their minds that if they just push through their fears of approaching, they could get a better girl. This is a bad foundation for a relationship."
- The Rules Revisited
not sure who said what but this caught my eye because I've been finding this to be true more often than not lately
Except for THE MANY MANY TIMES IT IS NOT.
yes because you have had all the experiences I have had lately. did you take the time to read my comment or do you always have to oppose everything that everyone says?
I said "I" have been finding this to be true LATELY. I never said all the time or by all men and women, did I?
I was talking about ME and MY experiences. Seriously kits you really need to chill sometimes!
ETA: I also opened my comment with "I'm not sure who said what" because I wasn't following the whole thread so I wasn't sure what discussions had already taken place. I thought this would prevent anyone from jumping down my throat.
I'm not the one claiming individual experiences as fact - the quote said that women shouldn't pursue men because because blah blah offensive bullsh*t.
I already commented and pointed out that's not always true, that some men do lean that way, but some men are totally fine with it. It became a thing back and forth already, then even after I said I was getting tired of having to always point out the same thing you came on and saidI've been finding this to be true more often than not lately
Which shows you agree withMen say they want women to approach, because it makes life easier for them. But in the end, they won't be able to respect themselves knowing that you had to do the work for them, and they will know in the back of their minds that if they just push through their fears of approaching, they could get a better girl.
That is NOT you saying that in your experience it's true (which by the way, still f*cking offensive).
Jumping halfway into a conversation doesn't make it okay that you're literally agreeing that men only use forward women as placeholders that they don't respect. Maybe instead of accusing me of not reading your comment, or opposing everything, you should take the time to do so yourself. Pot, kettle, black.
i'm not going to get into a "he said, she said" argument with you. everyone is entitled to their opinions and I will not be bullied by you. learn to respect other people's opinions and learn to express yourself without bringing other people down or using vulgar language.0 -
Ok, let's dial it down a little bit. We've been on such a good long streak here on Single Peeps! not needing to lock a thread.0
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Yeah, this thing about "men not respecting women that approach them" is such a pile of crock.Most women say that they would LIKE a man who does whatever you want all day long; but they wouldn't respect him, because they'd know he was a pushover and that they could do better. They'd leave him after a week.
Men say they want women to approach, because it makes life easier for them. But in the end, they won't be able to respect themselves knowing that you had to do the work for them, and they will know in the back of their minds that if they just push through their fears of approaching, they could get a better girl. This is a bad foundation for a relationship."
- The Rules Revisited
not sure who said what but this caught my eye because I've been finding this to be true more often than not lately
Except for THE MANY MANY TIMES IT IS NOT.
yes because you have had all the experiences I have had lately. did you take the time to read my comment or do you always have to oppose everything that everyone says?
I said "I" have been finding this to be true LATELY. I never said all the time or by all men and women, did I?
I was talking about ME and MY experiences. Seriously kits you really need to chill sometimes!
ETA: I also opened my comment with "I'm not sure who said what" because I wasn't following the whole thread so I wasn't sure what discussions had already taken place. I thought this would prevent anyone from jumping down my throat.
Also, it implies that women who do that are less respectable, that women who approach men are less respected by men on average.
"Men say they want women to approach [...] but in the end, they won't be able to respect themselves knowing that you had to do the work for them, and they will know in the back of their minds that if they just push through their fears of approaching, they could get a better girl." This statement is so wrong. On so many levels.
I'm a man (I've just checked a minute ago) and I'm perfectly able to respect myself after a girl approached me. In fact it makes me feel hot and attractive. So it would rather boost my self confidence rather than lower it.
Also, and you will note that there is some reciprocity here with the "females" of the human species, it is not because you are approached by a woman (or a man if you are female) that you must "start a relationship" or "have sex with them" or whatever you are looking for.
When you are approached by someone, you still have the possibility to choose - to accept or refuse to continue seeing the person who approached you. I meet many people who are interested in "relationships" (in the broad sense of the term) and I sometimes turn them down (as many girls do I'm pretty sure)
What does this mean?
That if I accept to see a girl again, I chose her. And if I chose to see her again, it is because I am interested in her or at least am curious about her.
And also, I have no fear of approaching women, but... I still get approached. This statement doesn't even mean anything then (yes, I can get quality partners either by approaching or by getting approached, as long as I make the final decision).
Another one? Okay. Perhaps you have such a low "attractivity" or are such an uninteresting and ugly person that you think that the guy will only stay or leave you for this reason (who approached who), and that whatever you bring at a personal level (your humour, your intelligence, your beauty) won't matter.
No. It's all about the fact that YOU approached him and the man will lose self respect and leave you regardless of any of your qualities (okay... do you really believe that... I mean... really?).
And also I could go on about the use of the word "approach": what does it even mean? Initial approach? Later down the line? Calling from time to time?
And also about the fact that any man who thinks like what you described is a proper idiot (Oh I grant you, I'm sure somewhere there are guys who think like this: "Oh, she approached me... Hmm I could get a much better girl if I did the approaching myself! Hehehe!"), and that the scariest thing is that you care so much about those idiots that you are actually devising a strategy on how to best catch those idiotic men. Are you actually kidding me?
Let's input all the information that we have in the DIAGNOSTICOTRON 2000
* computes *
* bip *
DIAGNOSTICS:
DOES NOT COMPUTE
* explodes *
Anyway... If this is the only experience you have had with men lately, then my advice is to find quality partners.0 -
And also I could go on about the use of the word "approach": what does it even mean? Initial approach? Later down the line?
I was the one who actually posted the quote but I am curious as well. I'm assuming it means the asking out itself, but who knows?
I can certainly see some men having unconscious thoughts like that. I don't think it's a conscious thought. But I can see some men not caring and going with it.0 -
Most women say that they would LIKE a man who does whatever you want all day long; but they wouldn't respect him, because they'd know he was a pushover and that they could do better. They'd leave him after a week.
Men say they want women to approach, because it makes life easier for them. But in the end, they won't be able to respect themselves knowing that you had to do the work for them, and they will know in the back of their minds that if they just push through their fears of approaching, they could get a better girl. This is a bad foundation for a relationship."
- The Rules Revisited
not sure who said what but this caught my eye because I've been finding this to be true more often than not lately
Except for THE MANY MANY TIMES IT IS NOT.
yes because you have had all the experiences I have had lately. did you take the time to read my comment or do you always have to oppose everything that everyone says?
I said "I" have been finding this to be true LATELY. I never said all the time or by all men and women, did I?
I was talking about ME and MY experiences. Seriously kits you really need to chill sometimes!
ETA: I also opened my comment with "I'm not sure who said what" because I wasn't following the whole thread so I wasn't sure what discussions had already taken place. I thought this would prevent anyone from jumping down my throat.
I'm not the one claiming individual experiences as fact - the quote said that women shouldn't pursue men because because blah blah offensive bullsh*t.
I already commented and pointed out that's not always true, that some men do lean that way, but some men are totally fine with it. It became a thing back and forth already, then even after I said I was getting tired of having to always point out the same thing you came on and saidI've been finding this to be true more often than not lately
Which shows you agree withMen say they want women to approach, because it makes life easier for them. But in the end, they won't be able to respect themselves knowing that you had to do the work for them, and they will know in the back of their minds that if they just push through their fears of approaching, they could get a better girl.
That is NOT you saying that in your experience it's true (which by the way, still f*cking offensive).
Jumping halfway into a conversation doesn't make it okay that you're literally agreeing that men only use forward women as placeholders that they don't respect. Maybe instead of accusing me of not reading your comment, or opposing everything, you should take the time to do so yourself. Pot, kettle, black.
i'm not going to get into a "he said, she said" argument with you. everyone is entitled to their opinions and I will not be bullied by you. learn to respect other people's opinions and learn to express yourself without bringing other people down or using vulgar language.
It's not "he said she said " if I'm actually showing DIRECT QUOTES. "He said she said " refers to hearsay and being unable to prove two different stories about the same situation either way because of a lack of evidence.
I'm not bullying, I'm pointing out that YOU GUYS are bullying, pay the *kitten* attention. I'll use whatever vulgar language I want because my mouth doesn't have a filter for other peoples sensitivities unless I damn well choose.0 -
Yeah, this thing about "men not respecting women that approach them" is such a pile of crock.Most women say that they would LIKE a man who does whatever you want all day long; but they wouldn't respect him, because they'd know he was a pushover and that they could do better. They'd leave him after a week.
Men say they want women to approach, because it makes life easier for them. But in the end, they won't be able to respect themselves knowing that you had to do the work for them, and they will know in the back of their minds that if they just push through their fears of approaching, they could get a better girl. This is a bad foundation for a relationship."
- The Rules Revisited
not sure who said what but this caught my eye because I've been finding this to be true more often than not lately
Except for THE MANY MANY TIMES IT IS NOT.
yes because you have had all the experiences I have had lately. did you take the time to read my comment or do you always have to oppose everything that everyone says?
I said "I" have been finding this to be true LATELY. I never said all the time or by all men and women, did I?
I was talking about ME and MY experiences. Seriously kits you really need to chill sometimes!
ETA: I also opened my comment with "I'm not sure who said what" because I wasn't following the whole thread so I wasn't sure what discussions had already taken place. I thought this would prevent anyone from jumping down my throat.
Also, it implies that women who do that are less respectable, that women who approach men are less respected by men on average.
"Men say they want women to approach [...] but in the end, they won't be able to respect themselves knowing that you had to do the work for them, and they will know in the back of their minds that if they just push through their fears of approaching, they could get a better girl." This statement is so wrong. On so many levels.
I'm a man (I've just checked a minute ago) and I'm perfectly able to respect myself after a girl approached me. In fact it makes me feel hot and attractive. So it would rather boost my self confidence rather than lower it.
Also, and you will note that there is some reciprocity here with the "females" of the human species, it is not because you are approached by a woman (or a man if you are female) that you must "start a relationship" or "have sex with them" or whatever you are looking for.
When you are approached by someone, you still have the possibility to choose - to accept or refuse to continue seeing the person who approached you. I meet many people who are interested in "relationships" (in the broad sense of the term) and I sometimes turn them down (as many girls do I'm pretty sure)
What does this mean?
That if I accept to see a girl again, I chose her. And if I chose to see her again, it is because I am interested in her or at least am curious about her.
And also, I have no fear of approaching women, but... I still get approached. This statement doesn't even mean anything then (yes, I can get quality partners either by approaching or by getting approached, as long as I make the final decision).
Another one? Okay. Perhaps you have such a low "attractivity" or are such an uninteresting and ugly person that you think that the guy will only stay or leave you for this reason (who approached who), and that whatever you bring at a personal level (your humour, your intelligence, your beauty) won't matter.
No. It's all about the fact that YOU approached him and the man will lose self respect and leave you regardless of any of your qualities (okay... do you really believe that... I mean... really?).
And also I could go on about the use of the word "approach": what does it even mean? Initial approach? Later down the line? Calling from time to time?
And also about the fact that any man who thinks like what you described is a proper idiot (Oh I grant you, I'm sure somewhere there are guys who think like this: "Oh, she approached me... Hmm I could get a much better girl if I did the approaching myself! Hehehe!"), and that the scariest thing is that you care so much about those idiots that you are actually devising a strategy on how to best catch those idiotic men. Are you actually kidding me?
Let's input all the information that we have in the DIAGNOSTICOTRON 2000
* computes *
* bip *
DIAGNOSTICS:
DOES NOT COMPUTE
* explodes *
Anyway... If this is the only experience you have had with men lately, then my advice is to find quality partners.
F*cking thank you.0 -
And also I could go on about the use of the word "approach": what does it even mean? Initial approach? Later down the line?
I was the one who actually posted the quote but I am curious as well. I'm assuming it means the asking out itself, but who knows?
I can certainly see some men having unconscious thoughts like that. I don't think it's a conscious thought. But I can see some men not caring and going with it.
MAn I keep trying to stay away from this thread and i keep getting dragged back in.......
I'm an approacher I have no problem walking up to a guy and saying hide...... BTW guys this works great if you at the bar...Then I can just stand next to you while I order a drink and start a conversation.... OMG contact..that easily the guy feels hot cause a girl broke the "rules " and approached him..And it shows I'm confident and willing to make contact.... Have I been shot down yeah it happens big woop NEXT.........But I cant bet you guys this I have way more fun out then girls who are to timid to appraoch a guy... And yes I've dated and hooked up with guys I've approached.0 -
Saaaaaaaame here. I eventually texted him (SCREW IT! I don't care anymore!) and said "So I'm just never going to find out what happened am I?"I was poofed 3x by the same person. Very painful. I spose it was my fault for letting him back in a 2nd and 3rd time.
It still doesn't make the pain any less painful.
Im the kind of person that tells it like it is, so when this happened to me, I kinda lost it.
Still no response.
I'm over it. Really. I am.0 -
Saaaaaaaame here. I eventually texted him (SCREW IT! I don't care anymore!) and said "So I'm just never going to find out what happened am I?"I was poofed 3x by the same person. Very painful. I spose it was my fault for letting him back in a 2nd and 3rd time.
It still doesn't make the pain any less painful.
Im the kind of person that tells it like it is, so when this happened to me, I kinda lost it.
Still no response.
I'm over it. Really. I am.
I've gotten texts like that. I looked at them, rolled my eyes and kept doing whatever I was doing before.0 -
Saaaaaaaame here. I eventually texted him (SCREW IT! I don't care anymore!) and said "So I'm just never going to find out what happened am I?"I was poofed 3x by the same person. Very painful. I spose it was my fault for letting him back in a 2nd and 3rd time.
It still doesn't make the pain any less painful.
Im the kind of person that tells it like it is, so when this happened to me, I kinda lost it.
Still no response.
I'm over it. Really. I am.
I've gotten texts like that. I looked at them, rolled my eyes and kept doing whatever I was doing before.
Neat.0 -
Saaaaaaaame here. I eventually texted him (SCREW IT! I don't care anymore!) and said "So I'm just never going to find out what happened am I?"I was poofed 3x by the same person. Very painful. I spose it was my fault for letting him back in a 2nd and 3rd time.
It still doesn't make the pain any less painful.
Im the kind of person that tells it like it is, so when this happened to me, I kinda lost it.
Still no response.
I'm over it. Really. I am.
I've gotten texts like that. I looked at them, rolled my eyes and kept doing whatever I was doing before.
Neat.
Yeah it comes off even more needy than I thought the person was. Usually say to myself "Wow this person hasn't gotten the hint have they?"
Yes I have poofed on people before.0 -
Saaaaaaaame here. I eventually texted him (SCREW IT! I don't care anymore!) and said "So I'm just never going to find out what happened am I?"I was poofed 3x by the same person. Very painful. I spose it was my fault for letting him back in a 2nd and 3rd time.
It still doesn't make the pain any less painful.
Im the kind of person that tells it like it is, so when this happened to me, I kinda lost it.
Still no response.
I'm over it. Really. I am.
I've gotten texts like that. I looked at them, rolled my eyes and kept doing whatever I was doing before.
Neat.
Yeah it comes off even more needy than I thought the person was. Usually say to myself "Wow this person hasn't gotten the hint have they?"
Yes I have poofed on people before.
I'll at the very least say I'm not interested, unless something drastic happened with the person that would make it very clear that I'm not (i.e. leaving the date early/not finishing the date [which I've done] etc). I won't necessarily say why, but as covered earlier in the thread, it depends on a lot of factors. If I say I'm not interested and THEN someone is still persistent, then it's definitely not happening and at least for me personally, that warrants "poofing" from then on. 99% of the time I'll at least have the common courtesy to be honest and up-front about it instead of hiding from someone.0 -
Saaaaaaaame here. I eventually texted him (SCREW IT! I don't care anymore!) and said "So I'm just never going to find out what happened am I?"I was poofed 3x by the same person. Very painful. I spose it was my fault for letting him back in a 2nd and 3rd time.
It still doesn't make the pain any less painful.
Im the kind of person that tells it like it is, so when this happened to me, I kinda lost it.
Still no response.
I'm over it. Really. I am.
I've gotten texts like that. I looked at them, rolled my eyes and kept doing whatever I was doing before.
Neat.
Yeah it comes off even more needy than I thought the person was. Usually say to myself "Wow this person hasn't gotten the hint have they?"
Yes I have poofed on people before.
I'll at the very least say I'm not interested, unless something drastic happened with the person that would make it very clear that I'm not (i.e. leaving the date early/not finishing the date [which I've done] etc). I won't necessarily say why, but as covered earlier in the thread, it depends on a lot of factors. If I say I'm not interested and THEN someone is still persistent, then it's definitely not happening and at least for me personally, that warrants "poofing" from then on. 99% of the time I'll at least have the common courtesy to be honest and up-front about it instead of hiding from someone.
To you it is common courtesy but I would find it annoying is someone called and told me "It just wont work out for such and such reason." Actually I might take that as a challenge to prove them wrong. This is something that none of us will all agree on.0 -
Saaaaaaaame here. I eventually texted him (SCREW IT! I don't care anymore!) and said "So I'm just never going to find out what happened am I?"I was poofed 3x by the same person. Very painful. I spose it was my fault for letting him back in a 2nd and 3rd time.
It still doesn't make the pain any less painful.
Im the kind of person that tells it like it is, so when this happened to me, I kinda lost it.
Still no response.
I'm over it. Really. I am.
I've gotten texts like that. I looked at them, rolled my eyes and kept doing whatever I was doing before.
Neat.
Yeah it comes off even more needy than I thought the person was. Usually say to myself "Wow this person hasn't gotten the hint have they?"
Yes I have poofed on people before.
I'll at the very least say I'm not interested, unless something drastic happened with the person that would make it very clear that I'm not (i.e. leaving the date early/not finishing the date [which I've done] etc). I won't necessarily say why, but as covered earlier in the thread, it depends on a lot of factors. If I say I'm not interested and THEN someone is still persistent, then it's definitely not happening and at least for me personally, that warrants "poofing" from then on. 99% of the time I'll at least have the common courtesy to be honest and up-front about it instead of hiding from someone.
To you it is common courtesy but I would find it annoying is someone called and told me "It just wont work out for such and such reason." Actually I might take that as a challenge to prove them wrong. This is something that none of us will all agree on.
That's true on both points, that even if the person did call me and tell me a reason why that I would probably argue it, but if they simply stated they weren't interested I would accept and respect that (which happened to me before). It's the complete disappearance and blatant disregard that gets to me. But yeah...everyone is different and has their own opinion on this. Good insight though either way.0 -
Saaaaaaaame here. I eventually texted him (SCREW IT! I don't care anymore!) and said "So I'm just never going to find out what happened am I?"I was poofed 3x by the same person. Very painful. I spose it was my fault for letting him back in a 2nd and 3rd time.
It still doesn't make the pain any less painful.
Im the kind of person that tells it like it is, so when this happened to me, I kinda lost it.
Still no response.
I'm over it. Really. I am.
I've gotten texts like that. I looked at them, rolled my eyes and kept doing whatever I was doing before.
Neat.
Yeah it comes off even more needy than I thought the person was. Usually say to myself "Wow this person hasn't gotten the hint have they?"
Yes I have poofed on people before.
I'll at the very least say I'm not interested, unless something drastic happened with the person that would make it very clear that I'm not (i.e. leaving the date early/not finishing the date [which I've done] etc). I won't necessarily say why, but as covered earlier in the thread, it depends on a lot of factors. If I say I'm not interested and THEN someone is still persistent, then it's definitely not happening and at least for me personally, that warrants "poofing" from then on. 99% of the time I'll at least have the common courtesy to be honest and up-front about it instead of hiding from someone.
To you it is common courtesy but I would find it annoying is someone called and told me "It just wont work out for such and such reason." Actually I might take that as a challenge to prove them wrong. This is something that none of us will all agree on.
Pretty much this. I see the term "common courtesy" thrown out a lot - if it's so common how come it's such a divisive issue? Some people poof, thems the breaks yo0
