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  • slap1225
    slap1225 Posts: 487 Member
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    Your situation definitely sucks! Sounds like he needed external support and went about it in the wrong way. I agree with the above statements and wish you both the best of luck!
    Just some advice there are still good people out there don't carry your mistrust around for to long.
  • TheKitsune6
    TheKitsune6 Posts: 5,798 Member
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    For the record he was never overtly flirting with anyone. This isn't a hookup club either. All he ever did was 1) Give funny advice or 2) give real advice.
  • RunIntheMud
    RunIntheMud Posts: 2,645 Member
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    Wow....I'm really sorry to hear that.

    I will just echo the same as what the others have said in that he was never flirty or dirty with anyone. I would be the first to say if he was, because I found my ex-husband on singles sites....
  • CrowdStoppa
    CrowdStoppa Posts: 26
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    lol......yeah i sound crazy for making a statement....obviously i am taking up the issue with him but thought it would be nice to give the heads up and mention he may not be the only one guilty. You have no right making assumptions of me. Im a very nice and caring person that has no problem making real friends. You seem like a neg B*tch and i dont care what you think.
  • CrowdStoppa
    CrowdStoppa Posts: 26
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    Wow....I'm really sorry to hear that.

    I will just echo the same as what the others have said in that he was never flirty or dirty with anyone. I would be the first to say if he was, because I found my ex-husband on singles sites....

    I have seen the disgusting things he has said to women on here and have read his messages and am very put off and I am the farthest thing from a prude. I never thought informing the women of this forum of his dishonesty would result in such negativity.
  • RunIntheMud
    RunIntheMud Posts: 2,645 Member
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    Wow....I'm really sorry to hear that.

    I will just echo the same as what the others have said in that he was never flirty or dirty with anyone. I would be the first to say if he was, because I found my ex-husband on singles sites....

    I have seen the disgusting things he has said to women on here and have read his messages and am very put off and I am the farthest thing from a prude. I never thought informing the women of this forum of his dishonesty would result in such negativity.

    I obviously don't have access to his private messages and I don't see every forum post... All I was trying to say was that from what *I* have seen, he had come on here only to offer an occasional joke or advice. Nothing dirty or crude. I apologize if I offended you.
  • AnnaPixie
    AnnaPixie Posts: 7,439 Member
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    Im wondering how many of you are actually married yet playing around as single just like my husband The_Iron has been doing. Just thought I would throw that out there. It's def a shocker to find out your husband that you have shared 9yrs of life and a 7yr old daughter with is portraying himself as single. Insecurity will push people to do some sick hurtful things and I feel like a big idiot.

    Yeah I have to agree that that revelation was a bit of a surprise. However he never really said he was single and never flirted with anyone. At least not in public. There are plenty of people on this forum that are in relationships. Granted he never said he was married either lol! But he has miraculously disappeared off my F L!

    Drama! :noway:
  • CrowdStoppa
    CrowdStoppa Posts: 26
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    My OP was NOT to cause drama or to cause all this mess only to make my fellow women aware that there are big time fakers out there and made you all aware that The_Iron is a big time liar laying it on thick to many women here I have seen all the posts and messages he has made and he was very much in the wrong. I guess my work is done here so take care and to the good people congrats on becoming healthier to the jerks go eat a triple stacked hamburger and kiss it.
  • AnnaPixie
    AnnaPixie Posts: 7,439 Member
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    My OP was NOT to cause drama or to cause all this mess only to make my fellow women aware that there are big time fakers out there and made you all aware that The_Iron is a big time liar laying it on thick to many women here I have seen all the posts and messages he has made and he was very much in the wrong. I guess my work is done here so take care and to the good people congrats on becoming healthier to the jerks go eat a triple stacked hamburger and kiss it.

    Thank you. The Internet is definitely not a place to develop trust! As you have rightly pointed out, you never know who you're talking to. I hope you can work things out. :flowerforyou:
  • JanieJack
    JanieJack Posts: 3,831 Member
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    I have seen the disgusting things he has said to women on here and have read his messages and am very put off and I am the farthest thing from a prude. I never thought informing the women of this forum of his dishonesty would result in such negativity.

    Yeah… I am kinda surprised this would cause such a stink too. The #1 rule (According to counselors like Dr. Harley and Dr. Dobson) for recovering a marriage from emotional or physical infidelity is to expose it.

    Now, I’ve never seen The_Iron behave inappropriately, but I *do* know many people do on this site so it does not surprise me that a wife would discover something like this. And if she did, I think it’s smart to get online and bust him.
  • jesusHchris
    jesusHchris Posts: 1,405 Member
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    He was pretty sexually aggressive towards me.
  • TheKitsune6
    TheKitsune6 Posts: 5,798 Member
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    I have seen the disgusting things he has said to women on here and have read his messages and am very put off and I am the farthest thing from a prude. I never thought informing the women of this forum of his dishonesty would result in such negativity.

    Yeah… I am kinda surprised this would cause such a stink too. The #1 rule (According to counselors like Dr. Harley and Dr. Dobson) for recovering a marriage from emotional or physical infidelity is to expose it.

    Now, I’ve never seen The_Iron behave inappropriately, but I *do* know many people do on this site so it does not surprise me that a wife would discover something like this. And if she did, I think it’s smart to get online and bust him.

    I would say, expose him to the people that it pertains to. We have nothing to do with it.
  • Danielle_2013
    Danielle_2013 Posts: 806 Member
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    Who?
  • JanieJack
    JanieJack Posts: 3,831 Member
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    I would say, expose him to the people that it pertains to. We have nothing to do with it.

    How do you know "we" have nothing to do with it? How do you know that The_Iron wasn't sending those messages to people on this forum? MFP deletes your messages after a month. If I discovered my husband crossing the line, I would advertise it on any forum he was on a lot, whether or not messages in his box currently reflected people from that forum.

    Why spread his business like that? Because it is extremely hard to get a cheater to change unless their error has been made public as a form of accountability. Plus, the next time he (or someone similar) comes sniffing up Random Single Peeps Reader’s tree, she (or he) might think twice about flirting back w/o confirming they are single.

    That said, I know several in this forum have openly admitted affairs don't bother them, so what I'm writing doesn't apply to you.

    But several in this forum don’t want to be a part of that. A spouse who hopes to restore his/her wayward spouse has the greatest chance of doing so by exposing the event so that s/he can stop pretending it’s no big deal (thus falling back into it) and so the offended party can mentally move on and not continually hold sins of the past against the wayward. Check out MarriageBuilders.com, His Needs Her Needs, Affair proof marriage, etc.

    Note: I'm taking what she says at face value, acknowledging the chance that she's not who she says she is or that she’s accusing him prematurely.
  • lacroyx
    lacroyx Posts: 5,754 Member
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    For the record he was never overtly flirting with anyone. This isn't a hookup club either. All he ever did was 1) Give funny advice or 2) give real advice.

    I can't comment about the PM's but I do agree with the above. I've been in this group for a while.
  • christine24t
    christine24t Posts: 6,063 Member
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    He was pretty sexually aggressive towards me.

    This made me burst out laughing!!
  • flimflamfloz
    flimflamfloz Posts: 1,980 Member
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    For the record he was never overtly flirting with anyone. This isn't a hookup club either. All he ever did was 1) Give funny advice or 2) give real advice.
    I can't comment about the PM's but I do agree with the above. I've been in this group for a while.
    The guy wasn't very successful in his endeavour apparently... HIs name wasn't even mentioned in this thread!

    And yeah. I think everyone more or less congratulates, encourages, brags, compliments and sometimes flirts (gently) on MFP. It's the nature of the beast as you start developing a connection with the people...
    Nothing to do with "disgusting things" (?) though that our guy is said to have said.
  • BondBomb
    BondBomb Posts: 1,781 Member
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    Wow....I'm really sorry to hear that.

    I will just echo the same as what the others have said in that he was never flirty or dirty with anyone. I would be the first to say if he was, because I found my ex-husband on singles sites....

    I have seen the disgusting things he has said to women on here and have read his messages and am very put off and I am the farthest thing from a prude. I never thought informing the women of this forum of his dishonesty would result in such negativity.
    I don't care about you busting your husband. I take issue with you coming into a lighthearted thread and derailing it with your personal drama. You made accusations about other potential fakers here as well without any proof of anyone except your husband. I find it an odd conclusion to jump to. I feel bad for the women he talked to. I feel bad for you too. But this thread wasn't the appropriate sounding board. You just said you have access to his personal messages. So you know who to warn.
  • AnnaPixie
    AnnaPixie Posts: 7,439 Member
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    @JJ- Nobody said the guy was 'cheating'!!! Unless you consider 'saying disgusting things' (very subjective) as cheating??

    Lets face it, anybody has free reign to say anything on a public forum. And anyone can join this forum from the public. I'm pretty sure there are plenty of married/shacked up/LTR peeps lurking about! (I can think of 2 faces that pop up every now and again and say something 'disgusting' that I've always thought were married) Even if it's just in the name of curiosity! It's the nature of the beast. (the 'beast' being the internet!)
  • Prahasaurus
    Prahasaurus Posts: 1,381 Member
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    I have seen the disgusting things he has said to women on here and have read his messages and am very put off and I am the farthest thing from a prude. I never thought informing the women of this forum of his dishonesty would result in such negativity.

    Yeah… I am kinda surprised this would cause such a stink too. The #1 rule (According to counselors like Dr. Harley and Dr. Dobson) for recovering a marriage from emotional or physical infidelity is to expose it.

    Now, I’ve never seen The_Iron behave inappropriately, but I *do* know many people do on this site so it does not surprise me that a wife would discover something like this. And if she did, I think it’s smart to get online and bust him.

    Smart to get on-line and bust him? Like a Jerry Springer episode? Yeah, that's going to end well. Since guys love to be embarrassed in front of others.

    The woman comes across as a shrill &!*@#... I'd be trolling single sites, too, if that was my wife. It beats suicide...

    --P

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