BE Support Group Conversation Thread - 2013
Replies
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Hey guys I have a question, do any of you feel like youre making the choice to binge and you just dont care? Usually when I binge have it set that im going to binge and will go well out of my way to make that happen. My favorite is pretty much any type of fast food or going to the grocery store for candy/snack cakes. But I eat a ridiculous amount of food and then my tummy hurts and I hate myself afterwards. Im starting to realize that I have the control but when stressed/unhappy just say eff it and eat a ton. Other times im just at home and end up binging on cereal, peanut butter anything else good.
YES I have done that. it is like I decide to give up and will ignore any thoughts of stopping. I will go buy the food I want even. Or eat stuff I don't even want just to binge. I am working on that though.0 -
Hey guys I have a question, do any of you feel like youre making the choice to binge and you just dont care? Usually when I binge have it set that im going to binge and will go well out of my way to make that happen. My favorite is pretty much any type of fast food or going to the grocery store for candy/snack cakes. But I eat a ridiculous amount of food and then my tummy hurts and I hate myself afterwards. Im starting to realize that I have the control but when stressed/unhappy just say eff it and eat a ton. Other times im just at home and end up binging on cereal, peanut butter anything else good.
YES I have done that. it is like I decide to give up and will ignore any thoughts of stopping. I will go buy the food I want even. Or eat stuff I don't even want just to binge. I am working on that though.
Absolutely, yes. Sometimes I've basically lied to myself saying I'll buy this bag of that and just have one or two or the serving size... but then in the moment I will decide eat the whole bag/pint/whatever. The key word is decide. I'll think about how I need to stop, but I knew what I was doing when I made that purchase and I go forward with the unspoken plan. Working on this as well.
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Question for the group:
Does anyone have the experience of binges being triggered by alcohol? For example, I make pizza each Sunday and we have drinks with dinner. Last Sunday I sat down to have a serving of dessert, but due to being tipsy plus tendency to not stop, I just kept going and ate the whole thing. Maybe when inebriated, we're more likely to lose control and say "the hell with it?" Today, I waited a bit after dinner so I wasn't as tipsy before having dessert so I wouldn't go overboard again. Anyone have similar experiences?0 -
Question for the group:
Does anyone have the experience of binges being triggered by alcohol? For example, I make pizza each Sunday and we have drinks with dinner. Last Sunday I sat down to have a serving of dessert, but due to being tipsy plus tendency to not stop, I just kept going and ate the whole thing. Maybe when inebriated, we're more likely to lose control and say "the hell with it?" Today, I waited a bit after dinner so I wasn't as tipsy before having dessert so I wouldn't go overboard again. Anyone have similar experiences?
Not that I remember. Part of beating BE is learning your own personal triggers. For me it can be emotions, boredom, being tired, sick or a certain food might trigger me. Maybe the alcohol is one of yours?0 -
Well I had a binge yesterday. I was doing so well. I had a doughnut and then later in the day I was craving sweets which we did not have. So I ate a lot. I ate at the movies and I ate at home even when I was not hungry. I see my new doctor this week and I can't wait.0
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Reading through this thread, I find pieces of myself in your stories.
My binging started as a young girl and hasn't stopped since. For a few years in my teens/early 20s I was able to get to a slender weight even with the binges because I started exercising for hours a day to compensate. When marriage and kids came, exercise time was harder to come by. At the same time, my binging got worse. So my weight climbed. And here I am today looking to lose 100 lbs.
I'm still trying to figure out what's causing the binges. I am an anxious type of person (like for no apparent reason), so tranquility is #1 on my list of things to focus on. I was able to stop a binge last night by calming my mind and deep breathing. I read about this technique on one of the threads here, so thank you to whomever suggested it! I wasn't sure if it'd work on me, but it paid off.
This morning I stopped from buying over 3,000 calories worth of binge food at the grocery store by telling myself that the taste wasn't worth the regret. I drove out of that parking lot and nearly drove to another store to buy the junk. It is hard to break this bad habit because it seems to be on autopilot, but the alternative of an early death makes me want to try my best to be free of the binging.
If anyone is looking for more support on here, friend me. I know I could use accountability with the food diary. 0 -
Well I had a binge yesterday. I was doing so well. I had a doughnut and then later in the day I was craving sweets which we did not have. So I ate a lot. I ate at the movies and I ate at home even when I was not hungry. I see my new doctor this week and I can't wait.
Sorry about the binge. Looking at your profile and seeing you've lost over 100 lbs, that's amazing dedication! It shows you are one strong woman who'll make it over any hump.0 -
I have to tell you all that if I don't come on here and read your comments on a regular basis, I get very mindless about eating. Just reading this one page has really centered me a lot!! Being able to talk about it helps so much, it actually shocks me what a difference it makes in my level of hope and determination
I've been in binge mentality for quite a few days. Not a binge yet, but playing around in risky ways. Like someone said earlier, I know what I am doing, and I go out of my way to get stuff in the house, or conversely, I tell myself that the food is for my teenage son, but if I was honest, I know I will eat it. It's sad when he goes to get some of it and it's totally gone....:embarrassed: I feel so ashamed to be like this in front of him....and... that made me cry.
I am ashamed a lot on here too, as my food diary is open and some people don't get that I am a binge eater. I want to keep it open, though, because the comments sometimes help, but once in a while they really sting. That may be because I am already in the binge mentality and feeling quite vulnerable as I make a commitment to myself day after day and don't follow through. I know better than to beat myself up, but I do it anyway.
I don't know if anyone can relate to this, but I have the exact same behaviors with spending money. Just adds to the shame and feeling of being out of control. I guess it's another form of consuming something to feel better. I don't buy big ticket items. Mostly food, actually, but eating out and spending too much on groceries can totally blow a tight budget. When I get back to my healthy eating patterns, the spending gets healthy, too.
I keep going back to the ADHD issue. The tendency, of course, is to be distracted and bored at the same time. The missing brain chemicals also lead to thrill seeking...in me, the rebellious, " no one can tell me what to do" and " I don't follow the rules like everyone else has to" mentality. I'm 59 years old...it seemed normal in my twenties, but now its obviously abnormal thinking. My point is that I have to take my medication. Today I did after a while off of it, and my thought processes are so much more logical and focused. I sometimes wonder how many binge eaters are people with untreated ADHD.0 -
Reading through this thread, I find pieces of myself in your stories.
My binging started as a young girl and hasn't stopped since. For a few years in my teens/early 20s I was able to get to a slender weight even with the binges because I started exercising for hours a day to compensate. When marriage and kids came, exercise time was harder to come by. At the same time, my binging got worse. So my weight climbed. And here I am today looking to lose 100 lbs.
I'm still trying to figure out what's causing the binges. I am an anxious type of person (like for no apparent reason), so tranquility is #1 on my list of things to focus on. I was able to stop a binge last night by calming my mind and deep breathing. I read about this technique on one of the threads here, so thank you to whomever suggested it! I wasn't sure if it'd work on me, but it paid off.
This morning I stopped from buying over 3,000 calories worth of binge food at the grocery store by telling myself that the taste wasn't worth the regret. I drove out of that parking lot and nearly drove to another store to buy the junk. It is hard to break this bad habit because it seems to be on autopilot, but the alternative of an early death makes me want to try my best to be free of the binging.
If anyone is looking for more support on here, friend me. I know I could use accountability with the food diary.
Thanks for the kind words! If you want to add me feel free. I am on the way out the door and won't have time.0 -
Today I am seeing a new therapist/doctor. Maybe the third doctor/therapist will be the right one. Some of you might remember my last one told me there is NO TREATMENT for BED. She did not even believe it was a disorder.
I am reading Crave right now and according to the author BED out numbers Anorexia and Bulimia combined!! WOW.
I will check back later and make some responses to everyone.
Have a great day!!!!
Karen0 -
Hey guys I have a question, do any of you feel like youre making the choice to binge and you just dont care? Usually when I binge have it set that im going to binge and will go well out of my way to make that happen. My favorite is pretty much any type of fast food or going to the grocery store for candy/snack cakes. But I eat a ridiculous amount of food and then my tummy hurts and I hate myself afterwards. Im starting to realize that I have the control but when stressed/unhappy just say eff it and eat a ton. Other times im just at home and end up binging on cereal, peanut butter anything else good.
Yes, this is totally me. It is as if I hit a point where part of my mind switches off, and primal instincts take over, along with a need for total freedom and release. I am usually a bit of a control freak, to the point of having quite severe OCD, as well as suffering depression, and I think I just hit points where my brain needs a total break. I will go out and buy whatever I want, well I used to, but now, it might mean I go and get cake at 3 or 4 different cafes and then consume several pints of ice cream later on, and maybe chocolate. I am not as bad as I used to be, when I would buy bags full of binge foods. I can, to a degree, control how much I buy now, and choose between foods. But I am also a purger which means I can consume that much more.0 -
Question for the group:
Does anyone have the experience of binges being triggered by alcohol? For example, I make pizza each Sunday and we have drinks with dinner. Last Sunday I sat down to have a serving of dessert, but due to being tipsy plus tendency to not stop, I just kept going and ate the whole thing. Maybe when inebriated, we're more likely to lose control and say "the hell with it?" Today, I waited a bit after dinner so I wasn't as tipsy before having dessert so I wouldn't go overboard again. Anyone have similar experiences?
Yep. I do not drink alcohol anymore, partly for this reason. It took away my self control.
Sadly, the sleeping pills I am on seem to do the same thing, to a degree, which can be very difficult.0 -
I have to tell you all that if I don't come on here and read your comments on a regular basis, I get very mindless about eating. Just reading this one page has really centered me a lot!! Being able to talk about it helps so much, it actually shocks me what a difference it makes in my level of hope and determination
I've been in binge mentality for quite a few days. Not a binge yet, but playing around in risky ways. Like someone said earlier, I know what I am doing, and I go out of my way to get stuff in the house, or conversely, I tell myself that the food is for my teenage son, but if I was honest, I know I will eat it. It's sad when he goes to get some of it and it's totally gone....:embarrassed: I feel so ashamed to be like this in front of him....and... that made me cry.
I am ashamed a lot on here too, as my food diary is open and some people don't get that I am a binge eater. I want to keep it open, though, because the comments sometimes help, but once in a while they really sting. That may be because I am already in the binge mentality and feeling quite vulnerable as I make a commitment to myself day after day and don't follow through. I know better than to beat myself up, but I do it anyway.
I don't know if anyone can relate to this, but I have the exact same behaviors with spending money. Just adds to the shame and feeling of being out of control. I guess it's another form of consuming something to feel better. I don't buy big ticket items. Mostly food, actually, but eating out and spending too much on groceries can totally blow a tight budget. When I get back to my healthy eating patterns, the spending gets healthy, too.
I keep going back to the ADHD issue. The tendency, of course, is to be distracted and bored at the same time. The missing brain chemicals also lead to thrill seeking...in me, the rebellious, " no one can tell me what to do" and " I don't follow the rules like everyone else has to" mentality. I'm 59 years old...it seemed normal in my twenties, but now its obviously abnormal thinking. My point is that I have to take my medication. Today I did after a while off of it, and my thought processes are so much more logical and focused. I sometimes wonder how many binge eaters are people with untreated ADHD.
I always assumed it was bipolar that made me this way. I have noticed the same behaviour in me. I will get days I go and spend money without considering the ramifications and bills I have to pay, sometimes on clothes, sometimes on food, just so I have plenty in. It is as if I have to get stimulation somewhere, and this is how. Or maybe because buying things, makes me feel artificially happy, if only for a short time.0 -
I saw the new doctor and she is great. She is the head of a eating disorder clinic. She was a big help. So far I have new anxiety meds. Once those get stable I will try some other things. She has a great treatment plan for me. She also said I have ADHD. I knew I had it as a child but did not realize I never grew out of it. She explained it to me and it fits. So next I might treat the ADHD. Lastly we will think about meds for BED.
If anyone is looking for a doctor/therapist make sure you keep looking if the first ones do not work out!
Today I ate too many of a certain snack (one serving of this snack would be fairly healthy). It was sweet and I could not stop. It was 1800 calories when I was all done!! (on top of my regular meals) OH THAT SUCKED. I hope I get this under control someday. For now some things I might not be able to eat. They just trigger a binge.
I am going for a walk to relax and get some exercise. Sometimes exercise helps me calm down and get control.0 -
Hi Everyone...
I joined this group a while ago and have decided through everyone else's courage to share on here that I have found my own courage to share (I had posted in the forums once about binge eating-with little response and was so afraid that people would judge me). I started using MFP in April of 2011. Successfully lost 75+ pounds. Over the past few months (January maybe) I have gained back about 15 pounds-due to binge eating, and I am truly disgusted with myself! I hopeless about my problem with binge eating! I wake up every day and tell myself that it's a new day...that today it will be different yesterday...and then at night when all the rest of my family has gone to bed I stuff my face with everything in sight. I do it in secret...I do it in shame...and I don't knowhow to stop! I don't even want to guess how many extra calories that I have consumed over the past few weeks that I have been on a night time binge bender! I will be fine for a week (no binges...loose a few pounds)...then I will binge at night for a 2 weeks (give or take). And if I am not binge eating (actually eating), I am mentally binging. I always tell myself before a binge starts that I know I'm gunna hate myself for it...but I keep going back for more...over and over again!
Don't know what to do to make it stop...but I do know that I love that there is a place that I can come and talk about it without judgment or fear.
I just want to get back on track...I want to loose the weight that I have put on and feel comfortable in my own skin again. I want to get rid of my dirty little secret...say bye-bye to it forever...and I still have HOPE that I can do it. So...Here's to having the will power to kick binge eating out of my life.
Thank you for reading and letting me rant...feels good to let it out!
Sam0 -
Great news, Karen!
I'm actually contemplating seeking a therapist for BED. Not that I will take action any time soon, but at least I'm thinking about taking action! It's as start.
Lately I've been reading the boards to help keep me motivated and focused, but haven't been replying too much. Sometimes I feel as if my typing doesn't really convey what I'm trying to say, and people end up getting offended, when absolutely no offense was meant. I've always had difficulty saying what I mean and having people understand me and what I'm trying to spit out - my DH jokingly says its because I'm from Michigan and no one can understand me haha (no offense to fellow Michiganders
Anyway, my weight loss has stalled lately, but it's because I'm not pre planning like I used to, for one. I'm lucky to have maintained the weight I have lost, because I've had binging tendencies rear the ugly head lately. I've had a few NSV, like tossing the licorice my DH brought home, but after eating a serving, and having only a bite of this and that, instead of the whole danged package (except for pizza - I can't handle being around pizza). This is leading to my plateau too I'm sure. That, and the SIX slices of deep dish pan pizza I inhaled in 10 min earlier this week
Wow, I do feel better getting that off my chest, here in a place where people can understand how that can happen!
Again, thanks to all who post - I really DO stay motivated from reading these boards Hope everyone has a great weekend! 0 -
"If you focus on results, you will never change. If you focus on change, you will get results." -- Jack Dixon
Thank you. I can see this phrase being VERY useful in the coming weeks and months. *hugz*0 -
"If you focus on results, you will never change. If you focus on change, you will get results." -- Jack Dixon
Thank you. I can see this phrase being VERY useful in the coming weeks and months. *hugz*0 -
Ladies, do any of you have experience supplementing with chromium to control sugar cravings? I picked up a bottle and I figure it can't help to try0
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It does help!"If you focus on results, you will never change. If you focus on change, you will get results." -- Jack Dixon
Thank you. I can see this phrase being VERY useful in the coming weeks and months. *hugz*0 -
I am feeling really anxious right now because today is my daughters birthday party and I'm making cupcakes. Cake and frosting are real trigger foods for me. I have been known to eat and entire can of frosting but really don't want to repeat that habit. My plan is to either throw out the leftover cupcakes, send them home with party guests, or send them to work with my husband tomorrow. I don't think I can have them in the house over night though.
I still haven't decided if I will eat one at the party. Having just one is such a slippery slope for me. I'm hoping just writing this down will give me the strength to resist eating the leftover frosting and either none or one cupcake. I will write again later with the results. Thanks for the constant support everyone!0 -
I feel you wwnchina. Sweets are a big trigger.
I am pretty proud of myself for yesterday. I planned a wine night with friends and in the past alcohol could trigger a big binge. Well I had a blast, ate a light dinner, drank my wine, got tipsy, and went to bed. I stuck to my pre-logging and did not go over my calorie goal.
This is a big win for me!0 -
Good for you Woodsy. Glad you were able to have a good time with wine and not have a binge.
My daughter's party was a ton of fun. I had one bite of her cupcake. I'm so proud that it didn't turn in to an all out binge. I sent 4 cupcakes home with people and we have 2 left in the house. My kids will eat those this afternoon. I guess I could have eaten them last night after they went to bed but I didn't even want them. Major accomplishment on my part.0 -
Glad you conquered the cupcake situation, wwnchina. I understand the dilemma with parties and how one little treat can lead to later binging.0
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Found myself stuffing muffins and tacos into my mouth today in the bathroom stall at work! WHY??? Tomorrow is a fresh start0
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Tomorrow is a fresh start
Tomorrow can be a fresh start, but why wait that long? You can make that fresh start with your next healthy meal. In fact, you can make that fresh start the moment you come to your senses and spit out that last mouthful of binge and throw the rest away.
You don't have to wait for a fresh start. You can start NOW.0 -
So wonderful to be able to have a trigger food in the house and not eat it.
Split a little cake with the sister last night. Had plenty of room for it, logged it, and that was it. That felt pretty good. Usually I don't allow myself any sweets at all because that is my number one trigger.
I want to be one of those people who can eat ONE cookie or ONE piece of cake and be satisfied. I hope I am getting closer and closer to that.0 -
Wow, so active here. That is wonderful!!!! I had a good weekend until yesterday. I ate badly for dinner and had dessert. it would have been okay but I went for a second helping of dessert. I did not even log all of it. I can only learn from it and do better today.
I think emotions are a big trigger for me. My doctor is changing my anxiety medicine and yesterday someone made a rude comment making fun of me. I was so embarrassed. I took it very hard and even moved away from him. (It was at my son's baseball game). He probably did not mean to be so mean but I was upset. I let some idiot make me upset and I ate badly later. I should not give my power away to someone like that.
Today I am starting fresh.
Also I have given up the scale. I will not step on it until July 1st. It will be hard but I decided monthly weigh ins from now on. The scale is a trigger for me! I might do some measurements in a couple weeks though.
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Sam / mommyrocks5
I post here because no one judges me. It is such a relief to have a place to go and share problems and BE things. It is a daily process. I have found the monthly challenges helpful. For me I used to over estimate the number of days I binged. So when I keep track it shows me there were successful days each month. It helps me focus on the positive not the negative.
Glad you shared your story. Feel free to reach out to me if you need help.
MadDogManor
It has been a struggle finding a BE therapist. I am actually seeing one that is not on my insurance so I have to pay more. It was hard to find someone that treats BE. So if you decide to hunt for one don't get discouraged. It can take a while to find the right fit.
I need to read on the boards more. That used to motivate me so much!
Good job on the splitting dessert with your sister!!!
tsikkz
I have not heard of this. I might research it some. I ate something sugary the other day and it sent me into a big binge. It was awful. Certain sweet things are a big no- no for me. It is like an addiction!
wwnchina
Sending home food is a great idea.....I have another tip....Freeze the leftovers. It is much harder to binge on a frozen item. You can then de-thaw it for the kids if they want it. (throwing it away works too though) Happy Birthday to your kiddo!!!
woodsy0912
GOOD JOB!!! Alcohol is not a trigger for me. Strange because so many things trigger me. lol Good for you logging it and having a good day!! Sounds like you conquered the binge monster that day.0 -
Karendee, I always love reading your posts. You are such an inspiration simply for the fact that you are so honest and you're seeking help. I am always curious to hear how your therapy sessions are going. So glad you were able to find the right Dr. for you. If you don't mind, would you share the name of the meds you are taking. I used to take Zoloft and found it really helped with anxiety which also helped with the BE. Thanks again for all your support!0
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wwnchina Thanks so much! I decided sharing might help someone and it is very theraputic to me.
I am happy to share.
Right now I am only on Wellbutrin. I have some mild depression, anxiety and ADHD. This is my first med. Once it is working (or not working and I might switch) I may take meds for the ADHD and finally the BE if necessary. (so next is the ADHD which may also curb my appetite.)
The wellbutrin is new to me. I also read It could treat what is causing the addictive behaviors in my brain. (I was addicted to the scale and now I don't even want to get on it.) I am only on 1/2 the dose I will take eventually and I can see a difference.
it is funny how other conditions could make my BE worse or could even be the cause. I was shocked but relieved when I was told about the ADHD. Part of it is problem making decisions. You should see me in a grocery store trying to decide what healthy foods to buy. Sometimes I come home with odd things. lol
So it may be possible that we as BE need to treat other things that could make the BE worse or harder to battle.0
This discussion has been closed.