BE Support Group Conversation Thread - 2013
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Don't quit, Karen! We all need each other, for support and to be a sounding board, and sometimes just to nod our head and say, yep, I understand how you feel. I may not post much, but I read these boards every night, trying to glean any wisdom about winning my battle with food. Lately I've been falling back into hiding food and eating in hiding. I really hate scarfing donuts in the bathroom stall at work...0
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Hi, I'm Cheryl, I just wanted to introduce myself before I go off to work. I've been on and off diets since I was in my teens (before I needed to be on a diet). Each time i lose weight i gain it back and another 5 to 10 pounds to get to where i am today with 100 pounds to lose. I will lose anywhere from 50 to 70 pounds and gain it back and 10 more. I recently lost 25 pounds and was doing good when my mom passed away and i gained that all back. Luckily I stopped before i gained my usual extra 10 pounds. So, I joined this group in the hopes of getting this eating disorder under control. I'm not sure if i can call what i have binge eating because it is more like constant grazing. But, it is an eating disorder. I'm not sure what type of eating disorder but it is for sure. Unless you can be in a binge for months. If I can be in a binge for several months then it is binge eating.0
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Don't quit, Karen! We all need each other, for support and to be a sounding board, and sometimes just to nod our head and say, yep, I understand how you feel. I may not post much, but I read these boards every night, trying to glean any wisdom about winning my battle with food. Lately I've been falling back into hiding food and eating in hiding. I really hate scarfing donuts in the bathroom stall at work...
Thanks so much. I really don't know what I would have done without you this week!! :flowerforyou:
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My doctor was away at an emergency and I saw her hubby. He recommended exercise and meditation. I have been exercising regularly for the last 2.5 years. That was a big help, exercise to stop binge eating. For someone that was almost an exercise bulimic that is a bad idea to suggest.
I am still looking for a doctor. I have almost had enough. Everyone keeps saying don't give up and I know deep down I won't give up...but I admit it is tempting to just quit (just a little) I know if I did I would really regret it.0 -
Hi, I'm Cheryl, I just wanted to introduce myself before I go off to work. I've been on and off diets since I was in my teens (before I needed to be on a diet). Each time i lose weight i gain it back and another 5 to 10 pounds to get to where i am today with 100 pounds to lose. I will lose anywhere from 50 to 70 pounds and gain it back and 10 more. I recently lost 25 pounds and was doing good when my mom passed away and i gained that all back. Luckily I stopped before i gained my usual extra 10 pounds. So, I joined this group in the hopes of getting this eating disorder under control. I'm not sure if i can call what i have binge eating because it is more like constant grazing. But, it is an eating disorder. I'm not sure what type of eating disorder but it is for sure. Unless you can be in a binge for months. If I can be in a binge for several months then it is binge eating.
Welcome!
I started at 323 pounds and lost 100 before coming to MFP. It is very hard when you have a larger amount of weight to lose.
I heard a good explanation on a podcast about BED that it may not be the amount of food but the feelings/emotions you have while doing it. There are some online assessments for eating disorder clinics that can give you an idea (but not perfect). Just google it...0 -
Karen, thanks for your response. I agree that it may be an emotional thing, but tend to eat when I'm having problems and when I'm not. I know it is an addiction to food though because of the roller coaster effect.0
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Karen, thanks for your response. I agree that it may be an emotional thing, but tend to eat when I'm having problems and when I'm not. I know it is an addiction to food though because of the roller coaster effect.
Yesterday I felt the addiction part. I ate one sweet item at lunch. I felt like I needed more sweet later on. I had to fight the urge to go eat everything that was sweet in the house. Luckily there wasn't much sweet here.0 -
The last time I posted on here I was commenting on how difficult it is for me to keep my eating in order now that I have started working full time again. I am continuing to struggle with that.
I got my lunches under control and am making good healthy filling lunches, but I still have overwhelming binge urges when I get out of work...and there are plenty of fast food places on my way home.
don't really think it's about the food. It's about all my insecurities at work. I come out at the end of my day emotionally bruised and desperate to feel better..or to numb myself. It isn't a stressful job particularly. ..I am just depressed and anxious as soon as I get to my car to go home...
I know I was doing really well until I started working again a month ago....so I need to figure out what is getting me so stressed out in this job. :frown:
I 100% agree you need to figure out how to handle the stress.
However, in the mean time, could you bring no money and no credit/debit cards to work. That way when you go home you don't have any money to stop and buy anything? Then if you know you need to go somewhere on your way home (gas, grocery store, whatever) ONLY bring as much cash as you plan to spend at that place.
It doesn't help with once you get home, but theoretically the foods in your home aren't quite as bad as fast food (trust me, I know it's very possible to have food at home that's way worse than fast food so I'm not saying go wild at home!).0 -
I am reading a book (I won't say the title because it's not really in line with this group and I don't want anyone to blow this off). It's talking about ALMOST having an eating disorder (any type).
It's pointing out the fact that even though eating disorders have their medical criteria as to what fits as that disorder, it misses out on all the people that ALMOST have a disorder. Do not dismiss your problems just because you don't fit the criteria!!!!
Think about these things instead - is your behavior with food abnormal (are you eating way more than most people in the same amount of time, are you obsessed with certain foods as either good or bad or triggers, are you ashamed of and hiding your eating, etc). Then, and this is really important, is your relationship with food affecting your life? Is it affecting your quality of life? Is it something that occupies most of your mental space? Does it cause you emotional pain?
If it does - who cares if it meets the clinical diagnosis? We all deserve to be happy in life and if food is preventing us from this, we need help. Granted I'm an extremely strong advocate of counseling, but if you haven't been able to kick this on your own, do not be afraid to ask for professional help - whether it be from your ob/gyn, primary care doctor, nutritionist, counselor, whatever. This isn't something to be ashamed of. Yes, it's unbelievably hard to admit (this is the pot calling the kettle black as my counselor is aware of my food issues related to stress and depression, but I haven't confessed to the binging), but if that's what will help us have a happy life, we should do it!0 -
....Think about these things instead - is your behavior with food abnormal (are you eating way more than most people in the same amount of time, are you obsessed with certain foods as either good or bad or triggers, are you ashamed of and hiding your eating, etc). Then, and this is really important, is your relationship with food affecting your life? Is it affecting your quality of life? Is it something that occupies most of your mental space? Does it cause you emotional pain?
If it does - who cares if it meets the clinical diagnosis? ......
I 100% agree!!!
I saw a new therapist last night. I sure hope this one works out. She was so good. She talked about the binge eating right away. Gave me some tips and had some very good points! I am seeing her again. She is helpful. Finally someone talks about the BED and not just my anxiety.
My MIL is coming today for 2 weeks. Visitors can trigger bad eating for me. I hope I can handle this!!0 -
I 100% agree!!!
I saw a new therapist last night. I sure hope this one works out. She was so good. She talked about the binge eating right away. Gave me some tips and had some very good points! I am seeing her again. She is helpful. Finally someone talks about the BED and not just my anxiety.
My MIL is coming today for 2 weeks. Visitors can trigger bad eating for me. I hope I can handle this!!
That is wonderful you found one you think you already are connecting with who has been helpful right away! Yay!!!!
Good luck with the MIL. 2 weeks is a long time.
Maybe set some realistic goals while she's there? Allowing yourself X number of binges and having a plan for the days/times that you think you will want to, but you will really focus on not doing it? I know, everything is way easier said than done. I have a list to go through when I want to binge - I think I've remembered about it once - otherwise it doesn't even cross my mind when I'm in that mindset. I wish I lived alone and could post it on my fridge and pantry door!0 -
I had a list of things to do if I feel a binge coming on. However I never used it. I see my therapist again Aug 15th. I had a horrible binge the other day (aug 7) and It was due to stress. There is a lot of junk food in my home that I do not usually buy (MIL bought it) so I have temptation everywhere!
I am learning to resist. I am staying away from my pantry where the food is located.0 -
Ed-
I'm about 30? days binge free and I feel the same way. "When am I going to blow it, because, you know, you always do." I try to let that voice have it's say and then more on to something more constructive.
For me, it's staying away from that darn monster sugar! How many years have I proven over and over that when I have something sweet, I crave more and eventually cave in. So it's much easier for me to avoid it completely so that the craving never takes hold. It's far from easy and everywhere in our society, there are cues for sweet foods, but I wind up packing a lot or planning ahead.
Anyway, I'm so glad you posted because I feel the same way. Sometimes that voice is louder than others, but why wouldn't it be? I've been doing this for so long, and seeing the pattern repeat itself over and over, that I also don't trust myself at all. so for today, I will pat myself on the back and be thankful that I didn't binge. Tomorrow is another story that I'll take care of when I get there.
You're doing great. I'm new here but there sounds like there's a wealth of knowledge on this board so hopefully we can both learn from others who have gotten past this.
Trish0 -
Hi my name is Ed. I am 43 days in a row binge free (starting on June 3rd), and I've lost 37 pounds since then. While that is awesome, I am starting to have the feelings creeping back, such as, it won't be long now before you mess it all up, or, you are missing out on all that life has to offer foodwise. Everything in my life has to go perfect for me not to binge it seems. My work is starting to suffer because the lack of binging is uncovering anxiety, and I feel like I spend all my time exercising and planning meals and weighing and measuring. Last night was the first time since June 3rd that I really wanted to go downstairs and nighttime binge. So I am getting concerned.
Having said that, what I am doing is what I need to do to get healthy, so I am determined not to be ashamed or sad about it. I don't trust myself at all with food, nor do I trust myself to exercise on a regular basis, not just when I feel like it. A big part of my success is completely avoiding triggers. Another is logging every single day. And I am learning to love myself again (I know that sounds a little sappy sorry).
I am just trying to stay on course with what I am doing, but I haven't learned yet how not to be perfect and still stay binge free. If anyone has the secret to breaking perfectionist behaviors, by all means, please share it.
I so appreciate everyone sharing their stories I am glad I found this group. Thank you for listening.Ed-
I'm about 30? days binge free and I feel the same way. "When am I going to blow it, because, you know, you always do." I try to let that voice have it's say and then more on to something more constructive.
For me, it's staying away from that darn monster sugar! How many years have I proven over and over that when I have something sweet, I crave more and eventually cave in. So it's much easier for me to avoid it completely so that the craving never takes hold. It's far from easy and everywhere in our society, there are cues for sweet foods, but I wind up packing a lot or planning ahead.
Anyway, I'm so glad you posted because I feel the same way. Sometimes that voice is louder than others, but why wouldn't it be? I've been doing this for so long, and seeing the pattern repeat itself over and over, that I also don't trust myself at all. so for today, I will pat myself on the back and be thankful that I didn't binge. Tomorrow is another story that I'll take care of when I get there.
You're doing great. I'm new here but there sounds like there's a wealth of knowledge on this board so hopefully we can both learn from others who have gotten past this.
Trish
Thanks Trish for your kind response. I had forgotten that I wrote this. I really do need to come back here more often to learn from others. Too often my pride tells me that I I I know better and no way can I learn from anyone else. That has to change. As an update I did have one binge after this but other than that after 73 days I'm still doing really good. One day at a time though. Thanks again!!!!0 -
73 days? Ed, you're my new hero!
I can always learn-- just reading through these posts and seeing how other people struggle and feel "weird" is making me fee a lot LESS "weird". I never tell anyone what I'm doing and I don't talk about it to anyone, even my dh. But it's not like you can hide a 20 or 30 or more weight gain. So then the embarrassment starts in, and I start to refuse social engagements because I don't want anyone to "see" me, and then I am isolated which makes me feel even worse and perpetuates the cycle.
Anyway, today is another day that I can change that, so I'll do my best. Thanks for writing back.
Trish0 -
73 days? Ed, you're my new hero!
I can always learn-- just reading through these posts and seeing how other people struggle and feel "weird" is making me fee a lot LESS "weird". I never tell anyone what I'm doing and I don't talk about it to anyone, even my dh. But it's not like you can hide a 20 or 30 or more weight gain. So then the embarrassment starts in, and I start to refuse social engagements because I don't want anyone to "see" me, and then I am isolated which makes me feel even worse and perpetuates the cycle.
Anyway, today is another day that I can change that, so I'll do my best. Thanks for writing back.
Trish
Beautifully said. Goodness, isolation, now there is something that deserves a whole thread. Wow, you said it. Isolation is a vicious cycle for me because it really starts off feeling good. Soothing to hide in a corner. But then yeah, you stop caring what you look like or if you are gaining weight because no one will see you etc etc etc.
Thanks for saying that about the 73 days but each day, each half day really, is like walking out onto a tightrope or a thin pathway further and further into uncharted unfamiliar territory. I don't know this person I am becoming and it's getting scary.
PS My DW is the last person I share any of this with and I am not disrespecting her when I say this, just stating facts. It just isn't safe for me to even bring up the binge eating with her. To her this isn't a disease, and I should 'just stop'. Oopsie I just pushed a bad button lol.0 -
Hi everyone,
I'm really happy to have discovered this group as I've struggled with binge eating for more than a decade. It sabotages my weight loss goals and, more importantly, robs me of happiness on a daily basis. I have a therapist that I see each week and am finding it helpful to talk to him, but I'm not always able to be as open as I'd like to be when it comes to my relationship with food. It's always been so shrouded in secrecy and shame that I find myself still guarding it and trying to control it. I have come to believe that this is not about my lack of willpower - I want to be rid of this more than ANYTHING! - instead it is an addiction. Food has been my comfort, companion, and safe place during really difficult situations in my life. Family violence, breakups, career disappointments, general anxiety, depression - food saw me through it and (very temporarily) made me feel better.
I beat myself up so much over something that I can't control. I'm hoping to check in with this group and learn from others and continue to be inspired. I know that this can be overcome or a least minimized. I just want to be happy and love myself. It's a tall order, but I'm hoping that by getting honest with myself I can find freedom.
Thanks for listening!0 -
Hi everyone like katebeth, I'm also new to this group. I've struggled with an eating disorder for 3 years now. I was diagnosed with anorexia, and that progressed into binge eating which I still struggle with.
Today has been hard, it's difficult being alone in the house. I've been chain smoking and trying to ride the wave..0 -
Hey everyone :-)
Welcome to all the new people - I think this is a very supportive and wonderful group here. I've learned tons and read this thread every dang day!
I wanted to share a huge nsv I had today. On my way home from work, my hubs called and said he was ordering pizza because its fast and easy. I paused, said "go ahead, but I'm not having any. I have hamburgers ready for the grill and corn on the cob shucked and ready to cook"
That statement right there is an nsv in itself. And in the past, I'd get so upset and shaky and crazed, even thinking about eating (stuffing) pizza, that I'd end up stopping somewhere and binging on stuff on the way home, then eat (stuff) one whole pizza myself once I got home.
Today, I did none of that! It helped that hubs did not order the pizza :-) and that once home, the food was cooked and ready in about 15 min! Preplanning, baby!!
Last January, I wouldn't have been able to say any of the above. MFP and specifically this group has truly helped me to change my life (so far). Thanks to all, and good luck on your personal journey.0 -
That is an awesome NSV!! Congrats! Thanks for sharing!Hey everyone :-)
Welcome to all the new people - I think this is a very supportive and wonderful group here. I've learned tons and read this thread every dang day!
I wanted to share a huge nsv I had today. On my way home from work, my hubs called and said he was ordering pizza because its fast and easy. I paused, said "go ahead, but I'm not having any. I have hamburgers ready for the grill and corn on the cob shucked and ready to cook"
That statement right there is an nsv in itself. And in the past, I'd get so upset and shaky and crazed, even thinking about eating (stuffing) pizza, that I'd end up stopping somewhere and binging on stuff on the way home, then eat (stuff) one whole pizza myself once I got home.
Today, I did none of that! It helped that hubs did not order the pizza :-) and that once home, the food was cooked and ready in about 15 min! Preplanning, baby!!
Last January, I wouldn't have been able to say any of the above. MFP and specifically this group has truly helped me to change my life (so far). Thanks to all, and good luck on your personal journey.0 -
Hey everyone :-)
Welcome to all the new people - I think this is a very supportive and wonderful group here. I've learned tons and read this thread every dang day!
I wanted to share a huge nsv I had today. On my way home from work, my hubs called and said he was ordering pizza because its fast and easy. I paused, said "go ahead, but I'm not having any. I have hamburgers ready for the grill and corn on the cob shucked and ready to cook"
That statement right there is an nsv in itself. And in the past, I'd get so upset and shaky and crazed, even thinking about eating (stuffing) pizza, that I'd end up stopping somewhere and binging on stuff on the way home, then eat (stuff) one whole pizza myself once I got home.
Today, I did none of that! It helped that hubs did not order the pizza :-) and that once home, the food was cooked and ready in about 15 min! Preplanning, baby!!
Last January, I wouldn't have been able to say any of the above. MFP and specifically this group has truly helped me to change my life (so far). Thanks to all, and good luck on your personal journey.
Congrats! that is really a great NSV! Congratulations on new habits:)0
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