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  • mysticlizard
    mysticlizard Posts: 896 Member
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    Noodle- Lead by example. You are right about not saying anything and making her feel bad. The best thing you can do is do what you are doing and show her with the right mindset you can have success. You are so kind to help her.

    My younger son Joe came up from TX to see us this weekend. He brought happy news, he and Andrew are getting married winter of 2016-17. We are so excited for them! Here is a picture that I took when we were touring the outdoor sculpture walk that our city puts on every year. Left to right Mikala (21), Golden (16), Billie (15), and Joe (26)

    y8mkn672wmxd.jpg


  • Noodle797
    Noodle797 Posts: 366 Member
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    Cute & congratulations!
  • MdwstQT
    MdwstQT Posts: 230 Member
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    Congrats Liz! Wishing your son and Andrew all the love and light!

    Noodle your neighbor is blessed to have you in her corner. I'm sure she appreciates all you do.

    I lost it today. My Mom has to move and she's still in her house! Yet, I hear that she's recording video. I'm sure the video is full of her illness talk! I don't know how much more I can take.

    I polished of a fast food meal and two pints of ice cream. Yes, two pints of ice cream back to back.

    I feel hopeless right now.
  • FindingCindy721
    FindingCindy721 Posts: 834 Member
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    Hello My Lovely LOST Ladies~
    WOW so much chatter today! I LOVE this!

    Noodle~ WOW Bless your heart! You are a beautiful soul inside and out! My heart breaks for your neighbor but soars at the same time that she has you...if she wants to help herself, she now has the means! You are an angel!!! Never a need to apologize here...we are here for that exact reason...to vent, share, laugh or cry etc together!!!

    Liz~ Your family is BEAUTIFUL! I hope Joe and Andrew are Blessed with a lifetime filled with Love & Happiness ALWAYS!!! I hope we get to share pics of the happy event! Your kids made me smile with their beautiful smiles! I swear they were contagious hundreds of miles away!

    MdwstQT~ So sorry you had such a rough day my friend! Pick yourself up, dust yourself off and give yourself a BIG HUG ((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((QT)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) and one from me!

    Have a FAB_U_LOSS day my friends!!!!
  • mysticlizard
    mysticlizard Posts: 896 Member
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    Oh QT lots of (((hugs))). Just keep telling yourself that you will get to leave the crazy train and go home to your own life soon. Hang in there any way you can.

    Cindy - I hope you are getting enough rest.

    Thank you all for the congratulations for Joe and Andrew and the compliments on the kids. I think they are pretty awesome.

    I hope everyone has an awesome day!
  • Noodle797
    Noodle797 Posts: 366 Member
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    Hugs to you QT, how boring our lives would be without our batsh*t family members. lol
  • JMarcella57
    JMarcella57 Posts: 1,902 Member
    edited July 2015
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    MdwstQT wrote: »
    I lost it today. My Mom has to move and she's still in her house! Yet, I hear that she's recording video. I'm sure the video is full of her illness talk! I don't know how much more I can take.

    I polished off a fast food meal and two pints of ice cream. Yes, two pints of ice cream back to back.

    I feel hopeless right now.

    Been there. Please don't let her steal your joy and especially not your success. Please don't give her that. (Spent a lot of money on therapy to be able to say that.) And I must tell you, I understand that it's a lot easier to say it than do it. Deep breaths. Please feel free to rant. It can be quite freeing. And then maybe set some boundaries for yourself with her if that is possible.
  • FindingCindy721
    FindingCindy721 Posts: 834 Member
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    Hello My Lovely LOST Ladies~
    I had my appointment yesterday and this morning they called me 1st thing...apparently they found something wrong but so far I can't get any answers. The oncologists office set up an appointment at the breast cancer center at a hospital in a nearby city...I have some further testing to do next Wednesday. It's the same place I had my lumpectomy done last year...so no answers right now...just more questions for me. I called to speak to the oncologist that set all this up...since they are sending me elsewhere...but today was her day off...and her nurses too!!! UGH!

    Liz~ I actually have been sleeping well. This Isagenix I have started has me feeling GREAT!!! Until today anyway. Not panicking but I'd be lying if I said no worries at this point...mainly because of the way it's been handled I think. I've been kind of treated like the middle man and they are cutting me out of decisions...just setting things up for me.

    (((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((LOST Ladies))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) Hope you all are having FAB_U_LOSS days!!!! <3
  • mysticlizard
    mysticlizard Posts: 896 Member
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    Cindy - (((Hugs))) You are in my prayers and I am sending a boatload of happy thoughts and energy your way. Hang in there, better not to know anything than get the wrong information. I know the waiting is scary and horrible. I am glad you are getting some rest, it makes a difference. :)

    To all of you awesome ladies - Have a great weekend!!!! B)
  • EMCOX5412
    EMCOX5412 Posts: 43 Member
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    Hi Everyone,
    Just wanted to drop in and wish everyone a nice weekend. Heading the Mystic Acquarium tomorrow, can't wait...
    Cindy my thoughts and prayers are with you you are not too far from Boston so if you have to get yourself to one of those hospitals....
    Noodle you are a saint for looking after your neighbor and if you are buying the groceries may be you can help her...
    Mystic great picture and congratulations to your son that is awesome..
    Barb hope you were able to make some decent choices at the restaurants today...

    everyone else, didn't meant to leave you out, HAVE A GREAT WEEKEND AND ENJOY YOURSELVES.....
  • Noodle797
    Noodle797 Posts: 366 Member
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    Cindy: I hope everything works out well for you & prayers to you & your family!!
    I hope everyone has a great weekend. It's going to be a hot one here in WI so I plan on spending as much time in the pool as I can! I'd love to get a little weeding done in my yard, but I have to be honest, when the temp gets above 80 degrees I'm not very motivated.
  • aaliceinw
    aaliceinw Posts: 747 Member
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    Wow! So much has happened and is happening, which means that we are truly living our lives.

    Cindy, sorry to hear about the runaround you are getting from the oncologists but glad they have scheduled a second follow up immediately. It sounds like the new diet plan is really working for you. The focus on healthy foods and new ways of eating is what will remain behind. When you lose the and centimeters slowly, they usually stay off because of the lifestyle change. I know exactly what you mean about the higher energy levels, improved sleep and the much better clarity of mind. The junk we eat seems to clog up our metabolism. Big, huge hugs to you angel.

    Megan, hi. Just keep taking it one day at a time, it is the only thing that can keep you grounded and safe during the healing process.

    Noodle, gosh! No need to apologize for taking the time to care for someone else. Your approach is absolutely right, no preaching, no lecturing but being who you are and walking the talk, will enable your neighbour much faster, though as you say, if she is not ready to accept and DO change for herself, she amp her victim mode to draw you in. It is normal to have negative thoughts if faced with a constantly whining adult, who is not willing to accept responsibility for their condition. You are doing an amazing job but be willing to let go... Sometimes you have to hit that rock bottom! I'm also hoping that the next time I weigh myself I'm not in the overweight zone :) that would be very nice milestone for the halfway mark.

    MD you also have the patience of a saint. I agree with Noodle. I spent many, many years in therapy because of childhood issues. One of the things that my last psychologist repeatedly said to me was "Stop carrying your dead mother!" For years I didn't get it because my mom is still alive. And then one day it clicked.... I let her go, I let her get on with her life, I stopped being her parent (I had been her parent for most of my life without knowing). I had room room to be me, room to breathe, room and energy to live my own life. That was only three years ago. It is difficult to let a parent go, even harder than to let a child go but for our own sanity, sometimes it must be done.

    Liz congratulations to Joe and his partner, you must be so proud. And yes you have an amazing family. Are all the people in the photo your kids, if so well done? Your energy and your words make you sound so much younger, or should I say, you don't sound old enough to have all those kids.

    EM I haven't seen you much because I stopped checking in but I'm so happy to see you here and to see that you are faithful to your journey. Well done to you.

    Barbs I know how hard it is to eat right in the business world. On Wednesday evening I had a business supper in a very posh restaurant. The food was to die for, and I did not hold back in I indulgence. I think that meal was 3000 calories on its own. I don't regret it but, I would be in serious trouble if i eat like that over the next few months when I will be hitting the road a lot more. I can't pack my lunches when I am traveling. You were able to change your diet for a while, so I'm sure you can get back on track again.

    Jen that must have been very scary for yourself and for your husband. I'm glad you are back home now. Take it it easy.

    Marcella I'm sure you'll start dropping the weight again. As soon as we start doing things differently, it helps a lot. I've got to get back to Curves and exercise at lest three times a week but right now, it's way too cold. That's my excuse and I'm sticking to it!

    Hugs to everyone. I'm doing very well. I posted an update somewhere else in the community to say what I'm up to. Generally, life is treating me and my family very well. My second son is buying an apartment, so I'm very, very proud of him and I'm waiting for my youngest to pass his tourism exam so that he can begin working as a guide. He's told me he does not want to live alone with me... Sadness, offendedness.... Lol! Not! Hee Hee! I know that sounds harsh but I've raised them to be independent and to live fulfilled lives. My eldest pops in with my grandson for a quick chat ands cup of tea. We eat supper together at each other's house, I drop in to see them when I come home from work, so we are all still very close and will remain so... I just don't need them under my feet all the time
  • mysticlizard
    mysticlizard Posts: 896 Member
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    Alice - It is so good to see you. My mother is always telling me I am so immature, to grow up. I am 49 and I am still a rebellious teenager at heart. Those are my four younger children. My oldest son Chris is 31. Only the two younger girls are at home yet. Both boys live out of state so we don't see them as often as I would like.

    I bet you are excited about your new home. It is awesome you are so close to your sons and grandson. How cold does it get in the winter there? Wow your new job will be starting soon. You take care of yourself (((hugs))).
  • ms_smartypants
    ms_smartypants Posts: 8,278 Member
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    UGH more bad news ....loss my neice this morning .....she loss her battle with breast cancer at the age of 34 ....I am not sure how much more I can take :'(:'(:'(:'(
  • barlovo
    barlovo Posts: 151 Member
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    Hi everyone - so much has happened in a week! It's great to read and catch up on everything going on with you all!

    Cindy - my heart goes out to you as you wait for whatever diagnosis/results come from your oncology tests. I've been in that boat several times and the waiting is hard. Sending hugs!!!

    Mdwest QT - I'm praying for you, your mom, and your family. Mental illness in the family affects everyone. Your mom needs help, if she is willing; and YOU need support. The National Alliance on Mental Illness (nami.org) is one good resource. They have local chapters and support groups in many areas.

    Noodle - It's so great that you can help your neighbor out. You are so right that there is nothing anyone can do until she is willing to change. You mention your dad's involvement in AA - he may have shared with you that the cardinal rule of 12-step work is "attraction not promotion." Hang in there!

    Liz - Congrats to Joe and Andrew!!!!

    My update: I'm doing ok. House is torn up with repairs, work is hectic and crazy, my sister and her family are arriving for a visit on Tuesday - but I'm doing ok. I'm celebrating my first weight loss in over a month! NSVs are great and SVs are really fun!

    Hope you all have a great week!
    Barb
  • JMarcella57
    JMarcella57 Posts: 1,902 Member
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    UGH more bad news ....loss my neice this morning .....she loss her battle with breast cancer at the age of 34 ....I am not sure how much more I can take :'(:'(:'(:'(

    So, so sorry. My thoughts and prayers are with you. I can't even imagine how difficult this must be for you. Big Hugs.
  • Noodle797
    Noodle797 Posts: 366 Member
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    UGH more bad news ....loss my neice this morning .....she loss her battle with breast cancer at the age of 34 ....I am not sure how much more I can take :'(:'(:'(:'(

    I am so sorry for your loss. It sounds so hollow when you lose someone, especially one so young. Please take care of you! Prayers to you & your family in this sorrowful time. :'(
  • FindingCindy721
    FindingCindy721 Posts: 834 Member
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    Hello My Lovely LOST Ladies~
    I'm so sorry I don't have time for a long individual post tonight! Please know that you all are in my thoughts and prayers!
    Today was my Birthday and it was absolutely WONDERFUL but I am exhausted today! First time in WEEKS that I have been this tired! Only slept 3 hrs in the past 2 days...had my 1st follow up since my last set of blood work last month...Dr was VERY impressed at the fact I have lost 15 lbs in the past month! She did order 2 MORE tests to my already scheduled visit to the hospital tomorrow...but they promised I should have answers before I leave the hospital tomorrow! Thank you all for your kind words and prayers...they are so deeply appreciated! I will try to get on tomorrow night to update you!

    HUGS n PRAYERS to each of you as well! Have a FAB_U_LOSS evening my friends!!! <3
  • JMarcella57
    JMarcella57 Posts: 1,902 Member
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    Today was my Birthday and it was absolutely WONDERFUL

    Happy, Happy Birthday!!!
  • MdwstQT
    MdwstQT Posts: 230 Member
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    Thank you all for your support. I do have to let her go. It's so hard and I do feel helpless at times. I'm going to write a letter to her primary doctor. So I can voice my concerns and have it for her file. I can't remember who suggested NAMI. I've been going to family support for at least six years. It's a life saver.

    I had my yearly checkup today. Seems like the fibroids are back. I had a myomectomy a few years ago. I knew there was a chance that they would return.

    I'm just trying to breathe! Thank you guys again for your support. I have to pick myself up and move forward with my goals.