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A promise to myself.
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My weight is still in my maintenance range.
From Monday my life goes back into routine, and so I will begin tracking properly with no excuses.
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A bit of a stumble today.
I think around 3-4000 calories in les than an hour.
I was feeling sick and was in physical pain, but still wasn't stopping.
The situation changed so I couldn't continue, otherwise I probably would have.
As far as binges go, its quite minor and not a lot of calories. But I'm disappointed that it happened, and well aware that it could have continued.
Oh well, its done now and there is nothing I can do to change it.
So 'log it and move on', as they say.
and refresh my resolve for tomorrow - not to let this get out of control.0 -
TD, I am proud of you for posting honestly. I think that shows what huge strides you have made, that you're admitting the mistake instead of hiding it. Onward and upward!0
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Pudding1980 wrote: »TD, I am proud of you for posting honestly. I think that shows what huge strides you have made, that you're admitting the mistake instead of hiding it. Onward and upward!
Thanks
I totally agree about the important of honest posting. Its something I've been doing the whole time I've been on MFP.
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Lately I have been a bit slack in my eating - 'an extra mouthful of this, here', 'a bit over my calories, there'. Sadly you can't run away from the maths - CICO will always catch you.
Fortunately I have been weighing myself regularly.
As of today, I am now outside of my maintenance range ( only by 1 pound ).
So I am setting my target to 100 calories deficit. I want to go into the holiday season at the bottom of my maintenance range. Maybe, even a bit lower to give myself a buffer.
time to be a bit more serious 0 -
I have been a bit more focused and my weight is back within my maintenance range (actually that 1 pound over was just for one day so was probably water weight).
I have to be honest that I'm not doing fabulously - I regularly deviate from my eating plan.
Due to lack of discipline, I may eat all my calories by mid afternoon. I then either go hungry, or exercise so that I can eat, or just eat anyway without exercise and be over my calories for the day.
I guess you could say its ok, because it 'works for me'. But I don't really feel its ok.
I would like to be able to eat reasonable meals and then stop. but its a constant battle, and I don't feel I am getting any better at it.
Still, given that this is difficult for me, I'm doing ok; and I'm happy that my weight is within my maintenance range (which is the big picture, after all).0 -
I think if you're staying within your range, and you know you are eating due to genuine hunger, there isn't anything wrong with that. Some days we are hungrier than others.0
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Its when I overeat (not from hunger) that I get frustrated.
for example, yesterday:
I had all my meals planned. The food met all my macros, and was certainly enough to keep me satisfied all day.
But I ate all of it by 2.30.
Not because I was hungry. My breakfast, morning snack and lunch were enough for me not to feel hungry. I just wanted to eat. So I ate it.
Then of course in the evening I was genuinely hungry. So then I'm faced with a decision - to eat over my calories, to exercise or to just be hungry.
Unfortunately this happens several times a week.
I overeat in the morning (from lack of control, not hunger) and then in the evening I want to eat because I am genuinely hungry. But eating could potentially put me over my daily calories; and if this happens regularly then the weight will creep back on. Its a constant challenge.
In the mornings, when I am eating, I am wishing that I wasn't eating. I am telling myself not to, that I will have no food left for the rest of the day. But I just think to myself that I will deal with that later, that I just want to eat more.
On the plus side, my mornings don't go over that days food allocation; so its not a complete out of control binge. But I am definitely not in control, either.
My expectations have changed somewhat. I now understand that maintenance wont necessarily be easy.
If I have to keep making a constant effort then I am willing to do that. A healthy weight range is worth it.
But I do look forward to the day that its not this hard.0 -
totaldetermination wrote: »Its when I overeat (not from hunger) that I get frustrated.
for example, yesterday:
I had all my meals planned. The food met all my macros, and was certainly enough to keep me satisfied all day.
But I ate all of it by 2.30.
Not because I was hungry. My breakfast, morning snack and lunch were enough for me not to feel hungry. I just wanted to eat. So I ate it.
Then of course in the evening I was genuinely hungry. So then I'm faced with a decision - to eat over my calories, to exercise or to just be hungry.
Unfortunately this happens several times a week.
I overeat in the morning (from lack of control, not hunger) and then in the evening I want to eat because I am genuinely hungry. But eating could potentially put me over my daily calories; and if this happens regularly then the weight will creep back on. Its a constant challenge.
In the mornings, when I am eating, I am wishing that I wasn't eating. I am telling myself not to, that I will have no food left for the rest of the day. But I just think to myself that I will deal with that later, that I just want to eat more.
On the plus side, my mornings don't go over that days food allocation; so its not a complete out of control binge. But I am definitely not in control, either.
My expectations have changed somewhat. I now understand that maintenance wont necessarily be easy.
If I have to keep making a constant effort then I am willing to do that. A healthy weight range is worth it.
But I do look forward to the day that its not this hard.
Could you try to incorporate a morning fasting? I have done this through my lunch period, and it has helped my binge sweets cravings tremendously. I know that this could backfire, but it is actually easier to fast than most people thing, in general. I don't know how it would work with the way you are mentally wired, but it might be worth a try. It will be hard at first, but it can be done by most... I personally find that once that first bite passes my mouth, all bets are off. Keeping it at a stop BEFORE that first bite, is key...
But you would want to have food present, just in case, and if that food is there, you're likely to want to mindlessly eat, so I don't know if this would be harder. And when you fast through the morning like this, you still need to get your entire day's worth of calories, just in a smaller window. Just a thought.
And hugs to you for facing these struggles. I truly remember having them more often than I do now, but no matter how often or how long, they are still hell... (HUGS)0 -
KnitOrMiss wrote: »Could you try to incorporate a morning fasting? I have done this through my lunch period, and it has helped my binge sweets cravings tremendously. I know that this could backfire, but it is actually easier to fast than most people thing, in general. I don't know how it would work with the way you are mentally wired, but it might be worth a try. It will be hard at first, but it can be done by most... I personally find that once that first bite passes my mouth, all bets are off. Keeping it at a stop BEFORE that first bite, is key...
I might try that. Its something that I've thought about before.
I think I'll eat breakfast, but then fast until about 4pm.
Do you find that you are really hungry when you 'break' your fast, and stuff loads of food into your mouth ?
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I have the same problem than you @totaldetermination not the breakfast because the morning I usually don't eat that much because I don't have time, it happens for lunch or snack time .... but it happens when I'm alone . today i eat too much at 3 p.m so I have to not eat until to tomorrow, well it's hard it feels like punish me.
it's a vicious circle I try to not binge but for me it's like bingeing because even if I did not binge I eat all my calories in the afternoon and the evening I can't eat...and yes it's a constant battle.. it's you vs you...0 -
totaldetermination wrote: »KnitOrMiss wrote: »Could you try to incorporate a morning fasting? I have done this through my lunch period, and it has helped my binge sweets cravings tremendously. I know that this could backfire, but it is actually easier to fast than most people thing, in general. I don't know how it would work with the way you are mentally wired, but it might be worth a try. It will be hard at first, but it can be done by most... I personally find that once that first bite passes my mouth, all bets are off. Keeping it at a stop BEFORE that first bite, is key...
I might try that. Its something that I've thought about before.
I think I'll eat breakfast, but then fast until about 4pm.
Do you find that you are really hungry when you 'break' your fast, and stuff loads of food into your mouth ?
Sometimes yes, sometimes no. Generally, I'm getting decently hungry by the time I break it, and that first taste of food tastes like "manna from heaven" or whatever, but if I make sure the first thing I eat is fully on plan and satiating and not a food trigger in any way, it's not too bad.
Since I eat low carb, moderate protein, and fats for balance, I try to make sure the first thing I eat is savory, salty, and fatty (so cheese or nuts or whatever I'm making for dinner - or even a pickle). It kind of helps reset my taste buds too, and generally it kills the sweets craving after dinner, too, though not always. (sweets are generally my cravings)...
I generally have a few bites, then finish cooking dinner, and then eat like normal. Since you're only splitting your calories in two, you can actually guiltlessly eat more food at dinner, because you're splitting the calories in two segments, not 3, so you're allowed more calories, you know?
The main reason I had suggested skipping breakfast was because I misread and thought it was your danger zone... Mine was from about 11 am until 3 or 4 pm....hence the fasting through lunch! I can't fast through breakfast and lunch due to not having a gallbladder (constant trickle of bile with no food causes bathroom...distress...shall we say after about hour 10)... 0 -
and yes it's a constant battle.. it's you vs you...
It is a battle.
Sometimes its easier for me to burn off 500 cals of food than for me to avoid eating them in the first place. and that's not because the exercise is easy. But at least I *can* exercise. Sometimes I feel like I can't control my eating.KnitOrMiss wrote: »if I make sure the first thing I eat is fully on plan and satiating and not a food trigger in any way, it's not too bad.
That might be the trick. I think I'll wait a day before I start and take a bit of time to make a meal plan. give myself the best chance of making this work.
I feel hopeful this might help; though I believe that there is no magic solution and that change has to come from me - another method in my bag of tricks is always useful. and sometimes its helpful just to change things up a bit.
Thanks for your comments 0 -
totaldetermination wrote: »and yes it's a constant battle.. it's you vs you...
It is a battle.
Sometimes its easier for me to burn off 500 cals of food than for me to avoid eating them in the first place. and that's not because the exercise is easy. But at least I *can* exercise. Sometimes I feel like I can't control my eating.KnitOrMiss wrote: »if I make sure the first thing I eat is fully on plan and satiating and not a food trigger in any way, it's not too bad.
That might be the trick. I think I'll wait a day before I start and take a bit of time to make a meal plan. give myself the best chance of making this work.
I feel hopeful this might help; though I believe that there is no magic solution and that change has to come from me - another method in my bag of tricks is always useful. and sometimes its helpful just to change things up a bit.
Thanks for your comments
Yup, that's what intermittent fasting is for me. Another tool in the toolbox! I've been doing this three weeks consistently now, so I'm sure the novelty will wear off soon enough...lol, and it might appear less often, but I really love the way I feel when the fat burning kicks in good... Mentally clear and focused and finally in control! I just have to remember to still eat all my calories and nutrition, or after about 10 total days, 5-6 of fasting, leaves me at a large deficit that triggers issues... But now that I know that, it's easier to watch for that balance. Plan to have lots of water...and remember, even if you make it 30 minutes longer each time you try, or heck, even 5 minutes!, eventually you will get where you're trying to go. Good luck!0 -
I couldn't come up with a plan that I thought would work, and that would fit into my daily routine.
Not because I can't manage the hunger; but having the food around me that I would need at the right time wasn't practical. So I am going to put the Intermittent Fasting on hold for now.
I also realised that in its own way, what I am doing is binging. well, maybe a better name for it is 'baby binging'.
It certainly has binge like qualities in it 'uncontrollableness', though the urges and quantities are far less than a binge.
Hence, its a 'baby binge'.
and what worries me about that is that it could grow up to become a big binge.
I feel that because of where this could lead, and because each day is getting more difficult to control I need to take it a bit more seriously. I hope that recognising where this could lead will help me to make a more serious effort to control it.
At the moment that control is slipping away.
I find it a little bit ironic to have managed the summer with little logging and routine in my life. Now that I am a bit more organised things have started to slip. I think I was so focused and determined over the summer and on some level I thought that I could breathe a sigh of relief when it was over. I need that same determination back !!!
I'm going to log in the Me vs. the Binge thread for the rest of October to get this back in control.
I know what I have to do, and I know that I can do it.0 -
Good for you! It isn't a tool for everyone, so I'm glad you could see that, rather than attempt it with poor planning and let presumed "failure" set you back. Good luck!0
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I feel like I'm back in the flow.
My weight is currently at 64 lbs lost (yesterday it was 62, so there's a bit of fluctuation there).
More importantly I am eating 'normal' meals and following my daily plan.
I am thinking of setting my maintenance zone to be 60lb to 70lbs lost, instead of 60 to 65 which is what it is at the moment. I am finding the 5lb range too restrictive and its too easy to go over. Although it was just for one day I didn't like seeing my weight at 59lbs lost. But the way that I'm currently maintaining, I wait until that happens to take things a bit more seriously.
The top boundary (ie 60 lbs lost), is to give me a specific and measurable point, at which I have to focus and get my weight back down (basically to avoid me putting on all the weight that I lost).
The bottom boundary is a bit arbitrary, really. It just gives me a range within which my weight can stay; and extending it will give me a bigger buffer from the top boundary. Its kind of a mental target - eg I am currently on 1/2lb loss per week to get me to the bottom of my maintenance zone.
In truth I think I look better at 70lbs lost that at 60lbs lost (and who knows, maybe lower than that would look even better ?). But my bmi is healthy, so for now I am very happy where I am.
In practice, my priority at the moment is to learn how to maintain, then maybe in the future I will look at losing more.
My only concern with a bigger range is that if I do have a rough patch, and start to eat badly then I will be able to put on 10lbs before I hit the point at which I do something about it. The 10lbs wouldn't be a problem, but by that stage I might have gotten back into bad habits, and if they have had a chance to become entrenched, then it will be harder to break, them.
OK, so what I think I'll do is have 2 zones.
preferred maintenance zone - 65 - 70 lbs lost
acceptable maintenance zone - 60 - 65 lbs lost
This basically means that I do something about it if I reach 65lbs lost, even though that is still within my maintenance range.
It also means I will still have the psychological victory of maintaining successfully, even if I go out of the 'preferred' zone and into the 'acceptable' zone.
See how that goes.
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calories and weight are on target.
I have finished dinner, and have eaten all my calories for the day. I am not at all hungry.
I want some chocolate.
I'm sitting here, thinking about chocolate and how much I want some. There's no chocolate around and I know that I won't go out to buy any, so I know that I am not actually going to have any.
But I could eat so much chocolate right now.
And I am saying to myself 'well this is my weakness, and I just have to get used to the fact that there's going to be times (maybe quite often) when I want chocolate and I am not going to have any. Its that simple. '; and then I think 'but what if I have some today, and I start getting used to that from tomorrow'.
This train of thought is so common to me. I am constantly battling with it.
not everyday, but several days a week.
PS - I fit about 400 calories worth of chocolate into my plan today. I am not chocolate deprived. I feel this way on days that I do eat chocolate and on days that I don't. Eating chocolate gives me temporary relief from trying to control the urge. But it doesn't make the urge any stronger or weaker once the chocolate is finished. I wish I knew what I could do to stop wanting it. and why it comes in waves and sometimes I want it so bad, and other times I don't. But I haven't been able to find any pattern behind it.
I feel grateful that the urge is not so strong as to be uncontrollable.
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sometimes I wonder if one day they will understand where these urges come from. and then suddenly it will all make sense.
Like blood transfusions used to sometimes work and sometimes not. and then they discovered blood types. and it all made sense. Maybe there's a reason, and its just outside of our frame of thinking so we don't understand it yet.
It must come from somewhere.0 -
totaldetermination wrote: »calories and weight are on target.
I have finished dinner, and have eaten all my calories for the day. I am not at all hungry.
I want some chocolate.
I'm sitting here, thinking about chocolate and how much I want some. There's no chocolate around and I know that I won't go out to buy any, so I know that I am not actually going to have any.
But I could eat so much chocolate right now.
And I am saying to myself 'well this is my weakness, and I just have to get used to the fact that there's going to be times (maybe quite often) when I want chocolate and I am not going to have any. Its that simple. '; and then I think 'but what if I have some today, and I start getting used to that from tomorrow'.
This train of thought is so common to me. I am constantly battling with it.
not everyday, but several days a week.
PS - I fit about 400 calories worth of chocolate into my plan today. I am not chocolate deprived. I feel this way on days that I do eat chocolate and on days that I don't. Eating chocolate gives me temporary relief from trying to control the urge. But it doesn't make the urge any stronger or weaker once the chocolate is finished. I wish I knew what I could do to stop wanting it. and why it comes in waves and sometimes I want it so bad, and other times I don't. But I haven't been able to find any pattern behind it.
I feel grateful that the urge is not so strong as to be uncontrollable.
I know this isn't necessarily the case, but many times unwavering chocolate cravings can actually be a sign of magnesium deficiency. I'm still a chocolate person, too. I find that by using cocoa powder in my morning shake or hot beverage (if you drink coffee, you can put cocoa powder in the brewing part), my cravings for chocolate diminish over the day. I also supplement with chelated magnesium citrate. It doesn't seem like it would help, but it helps the physical part of it...0
