Daily check in
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ashleyolivia wrote: »4 days binge free. Today will be 5, which is usually my max. I don't know what it is, I can go 5 days no problem, but then on day 6 I lose all willpower. So I guess I'll have to be extra careful tomorrow. In fact, I have the most predictable binge pattern ever (Sunday is always day 6 and I binge terribly, which bleeds into Monday, and then I "start over" on Tuesday, and the whole cycle repeats itself). This week I managed to not binge on Monday, so this weekend will be weird as "day 6" is hitting on a Saturday rather than a Sunday. Maybe that will help?
I can relate to this so much, except for me it is usually the third day that I can never seem to get past when I'm in a bingeing cycle. It is so annoying. I think that part of it is definitely psychological; we identify a pattern, and then we expect that pattern to continue. I also have a tendency to have extremely predictable binge patterns, with certain days of the week (or scenarios) that seem to be perpetually doomed. Good luck, and let us know how it goes!0 -
I ate like crap this morning, two pigs in a blanket and breakfast sandwich, with two fiber brownies and 3 cokes. I feel incredibly guilty, but it feels better to get this off my chest.0
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Ive been really happy with myself this week. I feel like I'm getting back into the groove with my body weight program and have handled my families medical issues a lot better than I did in February.
My dad had some surgery done on a toe back then. The day before Easter, he took off his bandages and rushed himself to an ER. Turns out, the toe became infected and had to be amputated. I binged on Easter, but that was just more to "spite" him than anything. Even with actually doing more to help him out, I've managed to stay within my goals.
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A new week starts tomorrow, hopefully no binges this week, managed to only do one real binge this week so hopefully 0 binges the week coming.0
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I made it 3 days and then kind of binged yesterday. I'm not sure whether or no it was a real binge..I was about 1200 over what my goal was but there was no point that I actually was "binging" I was just kind of snacking all day.0
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Today I binged some, but I managed to stop it before it went totally overboard and that is a big step for me!
These last binges have been getting better and better and I feel I am making improvements!0 -
That's amazing, congrats to you both! And Daniellethesheep, if you are unsure whether or not it was a binge, that's better than it being a definite binge! It sounds like overall, things are looking up. When is the marathon again?0
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@ab6046 thanks! Yeah I guess that's a good point. It's one week from tomorrow. I'm super anxious about it which is causing some pretty strong urges but I feel motivated to not binge and screw with my stomach this close to the race.0
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We are home now and reality sets in with work tomorrow. I have a lot of posts to catch up on which I will start tomorrow.0
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daniellethesheep wrote: »@ab6046 thanks! Yeah I guess that's a good point. It's one week from tomorrow. I'm super anxious about it which is causing some pretty strong urges but I feel motivated to not binge and screw with my stomach this close to the race.
It's great that at least that is keeping you from bingeing! I bet that after the marathon, you will feel less anxiety and your urges may lessen. Also, not sure what your plans are after this one but you could probably cut down on your exercise a bit and see if that helps at all.We are home now and reality sets in with work tomorrow. I have a lot of posts to catch up on which I will start tomorrow.
I see that it went well, and you got in lots of great exercise! Now that you are back and have nothing to fear, I can finally confess that when I went to Disneyland a few years back for TWO DAYS I gained 12.6 pounds. I went from the 120's to the 140's, and then when I lost the water weight I still hovered around 139 and never went back down!
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Sorry I haven't been around the past few days. Kind of had a rock bottom moment on Wednesday. I was binging and stuffing my face with everything in the kitchen and my toddler walked in. She asked if she could have a bite of the peanut butter I was scarfing down and I yelled at her. Legitemately screamed at my child and told her it was mine, she ran away and cried. In that moment I felt like the worse mother in the world and it really hit me that I'm not just hurting myself, I'm hurting my family. Cried myself to sleep that night.0
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Sorry I haven't been around the past few days. Kind of had a rock bottom moment on Wednesday. I was binging and stuffing my face with everything in the kitchen and my toddler walked in. She asked if she could have a bite of the peanut butter I was scarfing down and I yelled at her. Legitemately screamed at my child and told her it was mine, she ran away and cried. In that moment I felt like the worse mother in the world and it really hit me that I'm not just hurting myself, I'm hurting my family. Cried myself to sleep that night.
I am so sorry to hear that, it sounds like a horrible experience. I also get very moody and react very strongly when I'm caught in the act. Forgive yourself, I'm sure that your daughter has. You are not the worst mother in the world, in fact you seem like a really great mother. And it also sounds like this has kind of been an epiphany, which is good. Sometimes it's harder to get help or seek change when we feel like we are "only" hurting ourselves, but when we realize it affects people we love sometimes that's the motivation that it takes.0 -
I just binged, and it was very minor. Same feeling as a binge, but the episode came in under 700 calories which is great for me. This makes me pretty confident that my bingeing cycle has officially ended. If it's the same as usual, I'll keep bingeing once or twice a week but not daily. I really hope that's the case, and that the binges are really small in terms of volume and calories.0
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It was a struggle not to binge last night. Even though I figured the visit would go well, I always get very nervous whenever I see any doctor. I think it's from the diabetes scares, diets, and weight loss regiments my parents would put me on for a few months after my trips to the doctor as a kid.
The visit was a follow up with my gyno. I was put on birth control to get my period back after losing it for a year due to the overexercising and extreme restricting some years ago.0 -
That does sound stressful. I'm glad that you didn't binge though!
I am feeling extremely anxious today, and I have no reason to. I have my usual Tuesday internship today, and then I do have lots of work to do but nothing too crazy. I usually binge on Tuesdays after my internship, so I am hoping that I don't today. I don't know why my anxiety is so high, but it's so bad that I feel jittery which is pretty unusual. I hope that I am able to get a hold of myself, be productive in my internship, eat a balanced dinner, and then power through all of the work I have to do tonight that is due tomorrow.0 -
I'm three months into the MFP/weight loss thing, and I've hit my first road block.
The last few days I have been feeling so discouraged. I mean, I have lost 24 pounds so far, but it doesn't feel like enough. I'm still fat (230 pounds). I still feel large and disgusting. I feel like it doesn't matter how much weight I lose, I'll still be fat and ugly and disgusting.
I'm also getting really tired with counting calories and watching everything I eat. I'm NOT tired of exercising, that's what helps keep me sane these days. But the food thing is really getting on my nerves. I feel like I need a break, but I worry about undoing all the work I've done so far.
I know it's not going to happen overnight. I binged for years and years, and it's going to take a long time to undo all that damage. But I feel like, for all the effort I've been putting in, I don't have a whole lot to show for it.
Blah.0 -
That's awesome that you're not tired of exercise! I wonder if there's something you can do to give you a break from all of the counting. For example, a lot of people try low carb high fat (LCHF) and when attempting to achieve ketosis, they don't count calories (although they DO count carbs). I'm not sure whether this would be good for you, or a recipe for disaster. For me, it was ultimately a recipe for disaster.
Also, 24 pounds is a huge deal! And you are not "fat and ugly and disgusting," you are a lovely human being. I've never seen someone who resembles Hello Kitty so much, though!
Keep at it, and we are here if you want to vent. Maybe it would do you some good to take a break from logging. You know yourself best, so at the end of the day you probably know whether or not that would be good for you.0 -
I came home early then binged on peanut butter and it's only 1:30. Gonna try to stop now. So annoyed, things have been going so well and now I binged last night and today.0
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I agree that taking a break from logging, is a possible idea. If you think you've got a pretty good idea of how much you can eat, without logging it... you might want to give it a try. I also agree that you know yourself best, though. And 24 lbs in 3 months is right on track at 2 lbs a week.....
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There's a fair amount of people on this site that don't log and you can go back it at any time. Congrats on being down 24lbs!0
