Daily check in

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  • daniellethesheep
    daniellethesheep Posts: 117 Member
    I had really bad binges the past two days. Finals are over and I'm staying at school to work for the summer and I feel really anxious. I had lost about 6 pounds but no I gained back 8. Perfect. I'm thinking of dropping super low for calories since I'm barely even working out and once I'm over 2000 for the day, it usually ends up being near or above 3000. And I don't need even half of that with the amount I'm doing rn. I'm absolutely disgusted with myself. Also, it's super hot here and everyone is in shorts and tank tops, while I'm in pants and sweatshirts 1. to hide my fat body and 2. cuz none of my clothes fit me
  • shaybee377
    shaybee377 Posts: 42 Member
    I've been doing okay this week, but I have a graduation party to go to tomorrow and a brunch on Sunday.... I'm really bad about just saying "screw it" and binging when I can't realistically log what I'm eating/drinking, and I'm so nervous I'm going to ruin all my hard work from this week. I'm also going to the beach in a week, so that's an extra dose of anxiety.

    I just have a really bad feeling about this weekend... self-fulfilling prophecy? Probably. I've been telling myself that if I can get my binges down to just once a week, I can live with it. But I can't do that this week!!! Ugh.
  • shaybee377
    shaybee377 Posts: 42 Member
    edited May 2016
    ab6046 wrote: »
    I'm really anxious today. I have the final presentation of my grad school career and I'm really nervous. I spent all day bingeing yesterday and now I'm bloated and my face is swollen. I'm unprepared for the presentation and I'm terrible at public speaking. There's probably going to be food there and because I'll be nervous I may be able to avoid it, or otherwise I'll gorge myself the whole time to avoid talking about my project. I also won't eat until before then because I'm nervous which may set me up for a binge later. I need to just not binge until Monday afternoon. That's it!

    What is your presentation on? Maybe if you tell us about it, it'll help :) I'm thinking of going to grad school myself within the next year.
  • ab6046
    ab6046 Posts: 371 Member
    edited May 2016
    It went really well! And no binge so far. I didn't eat at all at the event, thankfully. Otherwise I'm sure I would have gotten carried away, although I wouldn't have binged in public. The presentation was about a mobile health navigator program that I'm designing for a clinic that caters specifically to survivors of sex trafficking and sexual violence. It's been a really great experience and I've learned a lot in the process!
  • CooCooPuff
    CooCooPuff Posts: 4,374 Member
    Before February, I bought a lot of dresses in anticipation for the weather and was excited to wear them.

    After all the real weight gain, I've been too ashamed to even really look at them. I've just worn my "mom" jeans to dinners, the mall, and anything else fun. I'm almost three weeks without a binge and dammit, I'm going to wear my little yellow dress today.
  • ab6046
    ab6046 Posts: 371 Member
    I can't stop bingeing
  • FreeVeg
    FreeVeg Posts: 46 Member
    2 days binge free and I hoped to keep counting binge free days but yesterday I binged badly. Woke up feeling like crap today. I know what triggered it. But how to avoid have no idea... :s:'( I hope today I go clean...
  • ab6046
    ab6046 Posts: 371 Member
    I spent all day bingeing yesterday. I woke up completely swollen, my eyes barely open haha. I am graduating tomorrow. My parents get in today, which means for the next week I'll be eating out a lot. I think that's why I've been bingeing so much, is the anticipation. At this point I'm gonna just try not to binge in between meals even if I overindulge at meals. Gonna try to squeeze in a short workout today and drink lots of water.
  • jackibailey
    jackibailey Posts: 206 Member
    ab6046 wrote: »
    I spent all day bingeing yesterday. I woke up completely swollen, my eyes barely open haha. I am graduating tomorrow. My parents get in today, which means for the next week I'll be eating out a lot. I think that's why I've been bingeing so much, is the anticipation. At this point I'm gonna just try not to binge in between meals even if I overindulge at meals. Gonna try to squeeze in a short workout today and drink lots of water.


    Just want you to know I'm thinking about you. You sure have been struggling and I really admire your honesty on here. You've just got so much going on all at once right now and that is so difficult. Hopefully when everything is over you can get back on a routine and that may help. Hang in there sweetie.
  • daniellethesheep
    daniellethesheep Posts: 117 Member
    @ab6046 that's really rough and I'm really sorry. Definitely try to stay hydrated. And don't forget, you're graduating! So congrats! Try not to let how much you're struggling take away from the event! You can get back on track. If you want to talk or vent or need support, feel free to message me.
  • ab6046
    ab6046 Posts: 371 Member
    Thanks everyone, I appreciate it a lot. I'm feeling bingey today and I think it's because my parents are coming so I know we will be eating out. My plan is to allow myself to indulge in what I want when I eat out, if I can avoid bingeing before and after meals. I hope everyone else is doing well!
  • FreeVeg
    FreeVeg Posts: 46 Member
    Yesterday went really well! I am so happy! Today woke up full of hope. Reserved a few books from the library about binge eating and emotional overeating. One is ready for collection today, hope that will be helpful.
  • shaybee377
    shaybee377 Posts: 42 Member
    I had a bad binge day yesterday and now I am super bloated and puffy... binge "hangovers" are the worst. Time to start fresh with a new week though!
  • FreeVeg
    FreeVeg Posts: 46 Member
    edited May 2016
    Binging...felt really low and then just went to the supermarket. Now i feel even worse. It has to end...Is there a real way out for good? Spent my last money on "binge" and having miserable afternoon with myself...and food...At least I got my books -first is Dr. Jane McCartney "The 28-day plan to end emotional eating for good"
    Why I my brain is so wired to food...maybe I should really go for antidepressants..I know my life hasn't been easy.I've been through a lot...and i am still struggling...just...i really wish the food issue would never had started.
  • tinytomato12
    tinytomato12 Posts: 5 Member
    Had a very stressful day which led to a mini-binge. Part of the binge was my "dinner" (if you can call shoveling cold leftovers into your mouth while standing in front of the fridge "dinner") and then some unnecessary snacks afterwards. It wasn't a lot of food per se, just the feelings of anxiety and fast-eating made it a binge for me.

    Anywho, was able to stop myself and move on, which I am happy about. Now if I can just make it through the rest of the night without eating then I will not wake up with the awful post-binge hangover tomorrow.
  • FreeVeg
    FreeVeg Posts: 46 Member
    Woke up with food hangover,puffy face and +1.9kg
  • mweckler
    mweckler Posts: 623 Member
    Feeling like death for the last few days, I think I am worn out, plus the crappy weather changing from nice, to cold, to rain, to gross the last week is not helping. I am short my cook at work as well, so I have to do her job as well as my own stuff. I normally do not mind it, but when I feel like crap it makes for a long miserable day.
  • RespectTheKitty
    RespectTheKitty Posts: 1,667 Member
    Things have been going okay for me, I suppose. Despite still hurting from the breakup I've been plugging along as best I can. I've been meeting my calorie goals and not going over, and I've been running more. My weight is still going down so that's all I could ask for.
  • ab6046
    ab6046 Posts: 371 Member
    I've been bingeing daily for a couple of weeks again. Graduation was yesterday, and I binged all the way up to it. Im so swollen in all of my photos. I've been bingeing consistently ever since. Not sure if I should just give myself a free week since my family is gonna be here. I basically want to just not binge between meals since I'll eat out a lot. Disgusted with myself.
  • marcelafreixo
    marcelafreixo Posts: 3 Member
    Hey guys, I'm new to this, this is my first post.
    I was doing great with my diet and exercise plan until about a week ago... Since then I'm bingeing daily and can't seem to stop. I used to take Prozac + topiramate for it about 6 months ago and was doing fine without it until recently...
    Some people say that I don't have an eating disorder, that I'm beautiful and don't need to lose weight, but it is not about looks AT ALL! at least for me it isn't. That feeling of being completely hopeless and out of control around food is the worst feeling in the world to me and it is scary... I feel like the food controls me and not the other way around and I hate it. Considering going back to my medication now.... :(
  • mweckler
    mweckler Posts: 623 Member
    Welcome to the group, the problem with an eating disorder is, that unless you are rail thin, like a skeleton wearing a skin suit, or morbidly obese, most people do not know that there are multiple eating disorders outside of Anorexia and Bulimia. So if you look healthy on the outside then people will just assume you are healthy. It is what the E.D. does to you on the inside that people do not see. The constant battle going on with your own body, that is the scary part that most people will never truly understand. E.D. does not discriminate between skinny, overweight, race, religion, height, gender, everyone has the same chances of having one.

    You said you were taking medications to treat the B.E.D. about 6 months ago, what made you stop them? Can you see what if anything happened in the last week that may have triggered the binge cycle in you again?
  • marcelafreixo
    marcelafreixo Posts: 3 Member
    Hey mweckler!

    Thank you for your words. That is exactly how I feel about it, that most people think it's *kitten*. It is so not! The way I see it, BED is not related to image at all - I guess if it were we would be bulimic. It is literally an "addiction" to food. Difference between that and a drug is that you need to eat to stay alive, so you must face your addiction everyday, at least 3 times a day... so hard.

    I stopped because I felt like they were slowing my thoughts a bit. I'm a very energetic/talkative person and I just felt kinda numb when I was taking the medication... I was diagnosed in Brazil and it was actually for periodic BED, with my binges being related to my period cycle. About 2 weeks before my cycle starts I start bingeing. The problem with that is that the month has 4 weeks, so basically my binges last for half of my year/life? Not good. I'm always able to lose weight for 2 weeks, and then I gain it back in the following 2 weeks, then lose it again, and so it goes... It's been like that for as long as I can remember.

    Yes, what triggered a stronger binge this time was definitely my period coming twice this month - I stopped birth control after almost 10 years so my body is still adjusting to that I guess.

    What I'm doing to control it now is looking for alternatives within the supplement/fitness world. One product that really helps me with the cravings and the constant thought of food is Lipo 6 Black. It's a fat burner and I know it's not super healthy for you or anything, but when you're desperate trying to stop eating it doesn't really matter.
    Another thing that I'm going to start taking today is Chromium Picolinate, which apparently helps with cravings too. I'll give you guys some feedback on it in a week or so.

    What about you? I've read some of your previous posts here, how have you been?
  • marcelafreixo
    marcelafreixo Posts: 3 Member
    Hey mweckler!

    Thank you for your words. That is exactly how I feel about it, that most people think it's *kitten*. It is so not! The way I see it, BED is not related to image at all - I guess if it were we would be bulimic. It is literally an "addiction" to food. Difference between that and a drug is that you need to eat to stay alive, so you must face your addiction everyday, at least 3 times a day... so hard.

    I stopped because I felt like they were slowing my thoughts a bit. I'm a very energetic/talkative person and I just felt kinda numb when I was taking the medication... I was diagnosed in Brazil and it was actually for periodic BED, with my binges being related to my period cycle. About 2 weeks before my cycle starts I start bingeing. The problem with that is that the month has 4 weeks, so basically my binges last for half of my year/life? Not good. I'm always able to lose weight for 2 weeks, and then I gain it back in the following 2 weeks, then lose it again, and so it goes... It's been like that for as long as I can remember.

    Yes, what triggered a stronger binge this time was definitely my period coming twice this month - I stopped birth control after almost 10 years so my body is still adjusting to that I guess.

    What I'm doing to control it now is looking for alternatives within the supplement/fitness world. One product that really helps me with the cravings and the constant thought of food is Lipo 6 Black. It's a fat burner and I know it's not super healthy for you or anything, but when you're desperate trying to stop eating it doesn't really matter.
    Another thing that I'm going to start taking today is Chromium Picolinate, which apparently helps with cravings too. I'll give you guys some feedback on it in a week or so.

    What about you? I've read some of your previous posts here, how have you been?
  • mweckler
    mweckler Posts: 623 Member
    I have been taking Vyvanse and it was approved last year to help Binge Eating Disorder. It has made a huge difference in my daily life, as well as the amount of food I now consume. I am starting to figure out hunger signs, and cravings, versus a true binge. So it is a process but I am making strides in the right direction.
  • FreeVeg
    FreeVeg Posts: 46 Member
    Binged badly yesterday. Trying to break the cycle today. Gained lot of weight, but ok. Did one good thing - joined the gym,the new gym is opening in June just near my house like 1-2min walk lol, it will be open 24/7, so basically no excuses not to go. I can even get ready at home, go to the gym and come back lol, haha, no need for a big gym bag. I hope it will help me to reduce stress and of course help to manage my weight and overall health.
  • ab6046
    ab6046 Posts: 371 Member
    Been bingeing bonstop. Just had a bunch of doughnuts and chocolate for breakfast . Gonna be eating out a lot through Sunday since family is in town and I'm using it as an excuse to just binge. I'm trying to let myself just eat what I want when we go out so I don't stuff my face in between, but haven't been very successful. My fat pants don't fit today.
  • FreeVeg
    FreeVeg Posts: 46 Member
    Ok...cannot stop.Binged badly then went tonbed woke up at night and binged again. I've gained 13lbs already....
  • mweckler
    mweckler Posts: 623 Member
    I am sorry to hear about the binging going on. I wish there was some magic wand or something that could take this away from each of us. It is a daily struggle and I am trying to learn as much as I can about what the causes are for this disorder. From what I have learned stress is a major factor to binges. I know that overwhelming stress and anxiety is what cause the onset of my binging.
  • FreeVeg
    FreeVeg Posts: 46 Member
    Yes, @mweckler, For me it is stress and anxiety too... This time- visiting my family and doctors check ups. I am going to visit my family for 2 weeks tmr, and unfortunately, it causes lots of stress and negative emotions. I spent all week binging and gained those 13lbs...awful...My family will definitely point it out too. Weight and body image is a sensitive issue for me. Like last time when i went to see them- first words heard from my mother - Oh, you look the same!, and I was like joking- What did you expect a crocodile or lion?- , she said,-No, i thought you would have lost weight!-....Thanks, mom! Oh well...
  • ab6046
    ab6046 Posts: 371 Member
    Hi everyone,

    The last few weeks have been very busy for me so I haven't been posting as much as I had been previously. I graduated last Monday, and after about a month in a restrictive cycle I found myself back in a bingeing cycle. I think a lot of it was because I knew my family would be come and we would be eating out a lot, and I tend to binge in anticipation of eating out. So I spent about two weeks bingeing, and then last week I binged a few times but mostly just overate consistently. Still gained over ten pounds despite not bingeing much, and am feeling disgusting. None of my clothes fit, I am super swollen, I took measurements and my body is just so much bigger. My face looks like a basketball. It's horrifying. I'm sure some of it is water weight, but obviously not all of it. My goal is to start exercising regularly again. I went jogging today but not for long. Tomorrow I have an internship so won't exercise, but after that should be able to consistently. I'm going to be setting daily goals for myself that are not too restrictive. I want desperately to lose this weight, but I don't want to continue this binge/restrict cycle forever. So anyway, that's my update.
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