What a lovely newsy post, MITM, and so nice so much good news. You certainly are in line for congrats- belated wishes for your birthday and congrats on the wedding anniversary. Your 28 years is a formidable achievement, especially in this day. To top it off you have done really well with the weight maintenance.Your time in England sounds lovely, especially the Diana exhibition.I have looked at the wreath; it really is unique.Like you, if I find something I really like for decor I am quite happy to keep it indefinitely.
I feel as if I have been doing nothing but gardening/yard work for the past month which is not quite true though I have been very constantly in the garden. The good part is that I am early getting a lot of the jobs done. I have cleaned out my pond early as usually the lilies of the valley which are around the edges are well leafed when I do it. This year they have barely poked through. I had a tremendous amount of twigs and small branches to pick up because of the wind storms and a lot of leaves despite all the raking I did in the fall .I've top dressed a lot of the lawn and overseeded it too. In addition,the new fence at the rear of the garden had required the removal of two trees that had grown into the fence line; now that area gets more sun so I have had to dig up a number of hostas and relocate them. I've moved some iris to their spots Every job seems to require bending, lifting, and/or digging and my back has been quite sore. But I like working in the temps of 14C and every day there is something new coming along. The crocus are finished but I have some beautiful daffodils and hyacinths this year. Also my woodland flowers are appearing. The bloodroot has a delicate white flower; it doesn't last long but it is the leaves that are the main attraction.Today a nice patch of May apple shot up several inches ( we also call them the umbrella plants) Tomorrow there will be a pickup of yardwaste (leaves, twigs etc.); it is only once per month so I wanted to get as much as possible set out as my garage has been full of bagged materials.
My brother hosted Easter celebrations at his farm on the weekend. There were over twenty of us. And of course a lot of good food. I made lemon tarts from scratch (well I cheated with the shells which I bought prepared) but the lemon filling was somewhat fussy to make (the recipe included a dire warning about folding in the six egg yolks properly to avoid them scrambling) The tarts turned out really well. My brother did an egg hunt for the 'children' who ranged from 2 to 30! My nieces and nephews seemed to enjoy it just as much as when they were really young. Some of the prizes have changed though- now there were gift cards to the local coffee shop and beer store along withe the chocolate. Nellie had her first jump in the pond for the spring which meant a very thorough wash when we got home.
Has anyone seen the movie, Brooklyn, which came out last year? I took it out of the library. The story basically revolves around a young woman who leaves her family and friends in Ireland in search of a more adventuresome life in Brooklyn, New York. It was billed as a romance which it certainly is in part but I found it had a bittersweet air to it when you considered the bigger picture of her life and the choices she had to make and what she had to give up to leave. I wondered if I would have viewed it differently had I seen it when younger. In any case, the acting all round was superb I thought.
Finally, It is very nice to hear of LMV and I shall look forward to her return here. Regards all.

I feel as if I am not getting here as much as I would like the moment and do apologise. This too will be briefer than I would like. I have been very busy lately with both my writers' group and book club. The book club has had extra meetings this month and last but tomorrow's meeting is the last until September so that will be a welcome break. However, it is not quite the last meeting as in May there is no book but a pot luck dinner. I would so like to skip it but there is some pressure to attend and I am too much of a people pleaser so-called. I also have 120 pages yet to read for tomorrow night's meeting! The writer's group met today.The garden has also taken a lot of time but I have so many lovely flowers this year that I really like to be there. For some reason, there are quite a lot of tulips although I have not planted any for several years because they often did not flower but just produced great flat leaves ( lack of light!). However, now both at the front and back of the house, there are some lovely ones, some already out (yellow and orange with yellow) and others in full bud, including a lovely cluster of ten that are showing a peachy pink. So I'll say more of the garden later and just add that the other thing that has taken a lot of time recently has been preparing my taxes for the April 30 deadline. They are ready to be mailed tomorrow so that is a great relief. I do feel some satisfaction that I am able to do them myself although they are not complicated really as I am not running a business and do not have complicated finances with complicated investment reportings.
MITM, I read and enjoyed your recent post which merits more response than i can give at the moment.
Regards.

Good Morning Crackers!

Well I'm delighted to say that TODAY is actually looking like my profile picture (which the daughter took the day before leaving Austria) after yet more snow on the mountains, over the May day bank holiday weekend.... I'm pleased Bracken your garden is giving you pleasure, the weather has played havoc with mine this year.

BM - delighted to see you back and whoopee what a brilliant start to your Slimming World diet - don't knock it if it works and you're happy I say! Friends I know who have followed the principles have been very successful - until they come off it.... Which brings me neatly to my next point!

Horror of horrors last Monday traveling back from the UK, I found myself walking the food aisles of a supermarket in Salzburg, hunting for junk food. Something I haven't done in over 12 months now. All my previous journeys last year I have made the effort to choose healthily and drink lots of water and I have survived. Not this time it was like I wiped my memory cells of everything I have learned from Beck and I just did the complete opposite as I ate one biscuit after another and they were horrible!!

April this year for me has been a dieting disaster from start to finish. However it is now May! After my weekend home when I found myself once more just opening my jaws to whatever was put in front of me as I was thinking along the lines of what is a one more weekend... but I did have a nasty wake up call when I caught sight of myself in my Mother's floor to ceiling mirror and could see the gained pounds! I know it's only pounds not stones but when you have finally got use to seeing yourself a certain way it's quite a shock when you no longer look as you thought!

But that got me thinking as I sat on the railway platform, munching my packet of biscuits how come I was happy to prance around in a bikini one summer this same weight? Then it dawned on me that although I still without fail step on the scales each morning monitoring my weight when was the last time I got my tape measure out? I use to measure myself monthly and record it in my little book - well my tape measure has not been seen this year. So I was brave and got it out after I weighed in the day after returning and surprise, surprise NOT along with my 5 pounds of chocolate baggage, I am currently 2 inches bigger all over. I might walk daily but this winter/spring I have given up any other form of exercise. So I am now back salsacising daily and this week I'm going to start doing my Jorge 8 minute exercises as I know both work wonders for me.

I treated myself to the new Amelia Freer 'Nourish and Glow: The 10 Day Plan' it's more of a feel good book and guide to healthy eating than a weight loss book and her thinking fits in well with Becks. On flexing your willpower muscle and saying no to yourself or others when being offered something you don't really want, she says and I quote 'It wasn't a 'worth it' moment to go off-piste with your food choices (as it might be for your own birthday cake or a special pudding at your favourite restaurant).' And that really sums up my month as I use to be so good at thinking this way, I would indulge in treats but only on my terms when it was a 'worth it' moment but this month I have let everyone and myself sabotage my way of eating but I have at least learned from the experience along with realising giving up chocolate for Lent was not sensible as I ate far more after Lent to compensate!

Anyway I feel better now I've got that off my chest, I have been home a week and I'm back following my rules and I'm delighted to say I've knocked 3 pounds off and I'm exercising so hopefully I will be able to face that mirror again in June and get into my summer wardrobe!

Be good Crackers!

I see that my last post complained about all the rain and here I am today on another rainy day. However, in the meantime we have had some relief though it has continued cooler than normal with frost warnings for several nights so I am still putting my tender plants in hanging baskets into the garage at night. I have continued with a lot of gardening recently. A good factor about this wet spring has been that it has made dividing hostas an easy job so I have done a lot of that. This coming weekend is a holiday and the traditional time to plant the vegetable garden though often it is safe to do so earlier. I have done nothing regarding my vegetables so really hope to get to it this weekend.
I also need to get my window boxes planted. I have mentioned how I was also putting bird feed in them in the winter and am still doing so. I think the birds have trained me through my enjoyment of seeing them. This morning while eating breakfast, I had a red cardinal, a blue jay, and the usual sparrows at the box as well as the chipmunk. I feel as if I could almost reach out and touch them. On the chipmunk scene, I have been delighted to have seen two chipmunks at once. Last summer I told the sorry tale of how Nellie caught one of the chipmunks, how I tried to rescue it, treated its cuts, and left it in the garage. I never saw it again nor did I ever find a chipmunk body. I like to believe that this second chipmunk is the one from the garage as it does not live under the front step where the other one does and definitely comes from the side of the house with the garage.
On another note, I mentioned in the last post going to a niece's birthday. I was talking about it to one of my sister's who was at the gathering but had to leave early and before the presents were opened. She gave my niece a substantial gift of money and has not yet, over a week, heard a word of thanks. Her sister on a recent visit for Mother's Day was hinting broadly to me and my sister about prom gifts and graduation gifts. (She is off to university in the fall). Both these girls are in many ways, lovely girls but have fallen short, I think, on basic manners here. I hesitate to mention it to my sister, their mother, as she will be upset and blame herself and I think she has enough worries in her life. I have thought of speaking to the girls but am not sure if I should. Should I say something? I know this really bothers my sister, not just for these siblings but for many of the nieces and nephews (we have 14, not including now several of the following generation) and we have both given many birthday, graduation, shower, wedding, birth of child gifts over the years. We have certainly been thanked, occasionally overlooked. It particularly bothers my sister that the older ones (20's, even 30's)take no initiative to keep in contact, particularly as there was a lot of close contact when they were children. My sisters and I kept in close contact with our aunt in England from childhood until she died and as we grew older we always sent cards, letters, and little gifts. Of course, our mother always asked us if we had written thank you letters to her. Am I to suppose it is just a change in generational behaviour? I think it does raise interesting questions in general about the nature of modern relationships. For one thing, children at a very early age here spent a lot of time in activities with their friends rather than family- having sleepovers when they are so young that
they have their parents called to get them in the middle of the night. I can recall at least two instances of that from my own nieces/nephews.
I have been able to get better focused on my diet and exercise recently. I am slowly getting back to riding and asked the stable owner if she would monitor my riding once a week- sort of a lesson but not really formal. She was very positive about it. We will start first of June. It gives me another goal again. Last weekend, I watched a dressage clinic with two of my friends. It gave me some inspiration just to have some small riding goals of my own again.
Rain has stopped. Must be off. Regards.

Part 2!

I found your last post Bracken most interesting about thank yous. I am very old fashioned and I have always written thank you letters and I have insisted from the moment my daughter could write her name, she too send her own thank you notes/letters. When she was very young, she would draw or we would craft something simple onto a card and she would then write her name and I would write the thank you note. And now aged 18 she automatically writes to say thank you for any gifts she receives from her many aunts, uncles and great aunts and uncles who have been kind enough to send her something. And every now and then she will drop them a line or send a postcard as they always ask after her and she sends Christmas cards and Easter cards. I too always kept in touch with my Grandmother/Aunts and like you Bracken would send letters and little gifts until they died, I've only the one Aunt left now which is very sad!

But it has to be said I don't receive even a thank you verbally from many of my nieces and nephews! The one that annoys me the most is my brother's child. I know he is spoilt rotten and receives so many gifts he has no idea who gave him what. However his parents do know that I have made the effort to get my present organized, gift wrapped (beautifully if I say so myself!) and left in the country ready for his birthday. If they can't be bothered to send just a text to say thank you, they could as they take it from my Mother ask her to pass on their thanks - but no nothing!

Anyway I remembered a letter I had read on the very subject to a help page after Christmas which I had kept so I hunted it out!!

'I'm a widow with 2 children of my own and 2 step-children. All are married and each have 2 children. Each Christmas and birthday I give my step-grandchildren money in their cards. This is always the same amount I spend on my grandchildren.

However the eldest step-grandchild turned 18 last summer and I gave her a larger cheque than usual (normal amount 30 pounds but I gave her 100 pounds that time). But even though she lives 100 yards along the road, I never got an acknowledgement or a thank you. Her mum (married to my step-son) said when I bumped into her a month or 2 later 'Oh thank you for Emma's cheque, yeah, I think she wrote you a note but... well... you know what she's like.'

Well I feel at 18 she should have said thank you in some way and since she lives along the same street it can't be that difficult. So now I don't want to give her anymore money. I bumped into her mum (10 days before Christmas) and told her this, making the excuse that, as she's an adult now, I thought it was time to stop and also she's now working full-time. Well my step daughter-in-law didn't seem best pleased. I really wanted to tell her the real reason I was stopping but didn't have the courage.

Though my step-grandchildren live just down the road, I never have any phone calls or anything to ask how I am - while I've always gone along to them to take their Christmas money or birthday money and I've sometimes been invited to sit down while they carry on watching TV! I do get cards on my birthday and Christmas from the mum. I just wanted to know what you would do as I need your thoughts and clarity.

Answer:
Though it's certainly too late to give you advice about Christmas donations, printing your email now is timely - because Christmas is over and thank you notes must be written. Yes they must.

Since I am on your side, I'm hoping your dilemma will be read by parents like your step-daughter-in-law who need to get their act together and ensure their children say thank you properly for Christmas and birthday gifts.

I remember all those Christmases when I handed my 2 children pencil and paper and instructed them to write down a list of gifts and givers. Then after Christmas, came the ritual of enforcing. And the nagging was just as tedious for me as it was for them - but it worked. Are kids and teens going to write thank you letters without being made to? No. So it's up to parents to ensure their youngsters grow up with a proper understanding that gratitude is essential.

I know this sounds judgemental, but if parents fail in this duty, they do so through laziness (why else?) and that very feebleness lets their own children down as well as disappointing the older people who have every right to be thanked, yes, even for the smallest gift. And if any parent reading this is irritated by my uncompromising opinion I suggest it might be because you feel guilty.

Teaching gratitude is one of the most valuable lessons to bestow. Expressing thanks is one of the most positive and beautiful things we can do. Simply saying 'oh how kind, thank you so much' spreads happiness around -since the person doing the thanking, doubles their own happiness by making the giver pleased.

In your place I would continue with the 30 pounds (because it would be odd to stop now) but let it be known that you will indeed stop when the young people come of age. I doubt you should deliver the cards and money in person, though frankly if they have not been taught to bother much with this lady who has always been so generous to them, I see no reason why they shouldn't now pay a visit to collect their loot. At least that will require effort. There would be nothing malicious about this shift: all you would have to do is get their email addresses and send a festive greeting, saying there is a gift for them at your house.

My suggestion to everyone is simple: give thanks every day. And get out a pen today and write thank you notes to everyone who gave you a Christmas gift no matter how small. Or pick up the phone.'

Hope you are still with me Bracken and that this helps you in your decision on what to do!

Oops, pressed the button a bit too quick! I have to leave soon anyway, I have my monthly cut and Colour to endure now. I pulled my back again on Monday so it has been sore and painful all week, it's a little better now so hopefully I won't be too uncomfortable whilst they sort my hair out! I have been wondering if I have managed to lose this weight whilst being unable to walk/swim would I lose more when I can start gentle exercises again? What a lovely thought to dwell on!

Wishing you both a lovely weekend and hopefully the weather will be kind to you. (When I come home later, I am going to make a herbal tea and sit and read again your last posts, I read them quickly earlier, but want to take my time and enjoy them, I was exhausted reading them with all you have both been doing!).

Take Care, Deborah xx

Morning Crackers

Well I logged in my weight which I forgot to do yesterday and although it somehow doesn't feel right after last night's dreadful attack on the young, innocent, defenseless youngsters in Manchester, at the same time I feel strongly terrorists cannot be allowed to win, so we must continue on with our daily lives. My thoughts and prayers are with the family's of the victims and the many injured.

Ditto to what you have both said. Lots of news of Manchester here. I notice now after these attacks much more emphasis is put on giving a face to the victims. One heart rending story here was of a 22 year old man whose mother was trying to make money by selling her crafts at a local craft show but no one seemed to want them but the young man got his friends to buy them so the mother did not feel discouraged. Also a story about how two homeless men who had been outside the arena went to the aid of victims- a reflection of real values.

Hello Crackers. I had just been writing at some length when out of nowhere the screen changed to a screen that I had never seen before which brought up earlier entries and seemed to be a kind of print screen. Needless to say, my post has disappeared. At the moment I am too annoyed, rather tired,and can't face beginning all over tonight. So I will return tomorrow. In the meantime, I was delighted to read your post, MITM, and glad to hear you have found your groove again for healthy eating.

Next part! Last week I visited my friend from the stable who has ALS. She has deteriorated further and now can not speak at all and sadly was having trouble using her tablet or cell phone to communicate as she has little strength or control in her right hand which is now her only hand with any function as her left is completely withered and gnarled, and she was left-handed on top of everything. She managed to scrawl a few written phrases with a pen. However, I think she was happy to see me as she managed a sort of smile. She is in a long term care section of the hospital where most others are very old, often with dementia. The days must be so long for her. The stable owner has been very good about visiting her with her two adult daughters and has also taken along other friends. I was surprised, and frankly disappointed, when another woman at the stable who has known her for over twenty years told me she would not visit her because she wants to remember her as she was before this disease. Also this person had for many years ridden her horse a couple of times a week (at little cost) because she only ever rode three times at most. I do not like to be judgemental but I think it would mean a lot to her if there was a visit from this woman. It is very sad that my friend has never shown her frustration, anger, fear, but always seems 'positive.' I know this is a rather sobering post but it is also by implication a reflection on gratitude.