@Kirstie155 Oh dear, I'm so sorry to hear about all that!! I love that you and your hubby are growing closer though.

I'm really sorry to hear about your back and your pain! I am not sure what I would do in your situation. On one hand, getting pregnant isn't 100% going to happen if you do TTC this month, plus the doctors could refer to you to a dietitian and physio to help you eat well without over gaining if you were pregnant to reduce the stress on your body. And you are so excited to be TTC! But on the other hand, if you do get preggers, do you want to postpone (or can you even) surgery until after baby comes, and would you want to be out of commission due to back surgery when you have a new born. What are surgery wait times like where you live? Is it typical for people to have to wait a year or two or do you get in really fast? I think if it were me... I'd probably try to see the doctor this month to ask these questions... and to straight up ask if you should be trying to get pregnant still and if there are workarounds for while you are pregnant. Any chance you can move your appointment to a sooner date? Calling for cancellations or anything like that?

I'm sorry to hear about your husband's mom too. She must be pretty scared/worried right now so it is great you guys are helping her. But I know it is such a stressful responsibility to be the person someone else relies on so heavily. I hope all three of you can get a rhythm down and work to being useful yet not stressed very soon! Or I hope she can get eye surgery soon, if she qualifies!

*hugs and hugs!*

@Kirstie155 that's so rough, so much to deal with all at once no wonder you are feeling overwhelmed! Your MIL is lucky have you, but yes it can be hard work coordinating their lives for them and being a constant support. So lovely hear you and your husband are banding together and supporting each other, must nice to have a positive experience to draw on amongst all. Just thought with your back, have you looked into non-surgical options like Physio or clinical style/rehab Pilates? My mum had very similar presentation (lumbar stenonis, prolapsed disc sciatic pain) as well as whiplash from a car accident 20 years ago- she was booked in for surgery in the months leading up but was able cancel due improvement she experienced doing Pilates 2-3x week. I know sounds really wishy-washy but it seriously saved her from surgery. Every body is different and responds uniquely, I'm not suggesting it's guaranteed to fix everything by any means, and you might be already doing this but thought it couldn't hurt share case in case you hadn't considered other avenues. Good luck whatever decided, sending lots of hugs way.

Kayla, I heard back from them today, saying I should just talk w the doctor in person. Too little, too late. We tried on Friday night and were supposed to again yesterday and didnt because he was tired (trying not to be mad about this and failing--I mean, last week I told him we needed to BD EOD this week so he knew and kept putting me off all day yesterday, then at like 10:30pm he was too tired.) Arg. OPK was positive yesterday so hoping I O today and its not too late if we BD tonight. Appointment is tomorrow with the spinal doctor so hoping for good news!

Katie, I am so so sorry to hear about your friend. I cannot imagine how she feels. I have no advice to give except try and remember that she is hurting so much and she may have trouble seeing or being around you right now. I'd send her a sympathy card in the mail and call her and text her often, letting her know you are there for her as a friend but understand if it may be too painful for her to see you right now. Make sure you reach out to her though, so it doesnt feel like you are rejecting her.

Im so sorry you are dealing with your friends loss. I don't know how I would deal with a miscarriage, let alone two Big internet hugs for you both.

I saw my spinal doctor yesterday, and since he knows we are TTC he doesn't want to do any medical intervention. If we weren't TTC, he would recommend a steroid epidural in my spine, something he says they do all day long at the office with no issues. However, I have a mass on my spine (cyst, vein clump?) that makes him very nervous and he says I would need to do it in a hospital setting in case anything goes wrong, there are emergency workers and facilities there. Doesn't make me warm and fuzzy about this particular procedure. Also he says I need to talk to an OBGYN about medical interventions while TTC, he doesn't know enough about it. A (potentially dangerous for me due to the mass) epidural steroid injection could require us to delay TTC for awhile because steroids, and also there are risks with the epidural.

My diagnosis is a fractured vertebra (which is old, and I had known about but forgot) severe stenosis (narrowing of the spinal column which is common for people over the age of 50-this is likely the cause of my pain as my nerves are pinched by my spine) and arthritis. The fracture is okay and not severe. There is no cure for the stenosis, only management of pain and it will likely get worse as I age. TTC when I'm older, stenosis pain when I'm older? Which is the lesser of two evils? I could put off TTC for awhile and work on my stenosis pain but it wont heal, and will likely get worse as I age regardless, and become more painful with pregnancy regardless. I am going today to meet with a physical therapist and see what plan of action they have.

Plan moving forward is to go for physical therapy and figure out what I can and cant do physically. Walking and standing hurt me a lot, so that kind of exercise is out. I have been advised to do swimming or pool PT, so might have to join a pool. My community has one small outdoor pool but I think it opens Memorial day and at like 10am, so really not appropriate for PT swimming. Plus it's usually full of kids playing and gets cramped.

Since we did TTC this month (and did get an extra DB in on Monday) I will wait to see if we made a baby or not, and if not-consider delaying until after I get the steroid epidural. I don't currently have an OBGYN because we got new insurance at the beginning of the year, and remember the whole zika thing and the doctor wouldn't see me? I just haven't gotten around to finding one since. Guess that just moved to the top of my list. I was seen less than a year ago and had Kaiser, so I cant just go back to the same doctor...I have to find a new one. Ughhh.

Oh, also....hubby has been complaining about a hurt wrist and finally went to get it checked out. It's fractured. He doesnt know what he did, but its been like 2 weeks!

Hope you all are having a great day!

@Kirstie155 your options don't sound great but like Sam said, maybe you'll be pregnant this month and you won't have to make a decision. If the epidural is just pain treatment and not a solution to the root of the problem, it sounds like getting the steroid epidural may not be worth putting off TTC. Sounds like a lousy hand to be dealt, though. FWIW I've been swimming laps lately at an indoor pool and have found it very rewarding to make progress. Fingers crossed for you regarding PT for the pain and OB/Gyn finding.

@VeryKatie that is a hard situation, and there probably isn't much you can say to provide comfort. So sad for her. I agree that her seeing you might make her feel more sad in that moment. I wish I had some sage advice for you.

I'm feeling really burnt out this week. Work busy-ness ebbs and flows but this week and last week have just been nutso, which is why I haven't been posting. I think it will calm down after next week? I've been reading updates from you guys though to kind of mellow out periodically on the work front.

@verykatie I'm so sorry about your friend, its very difficult to know how to react. One of my friends had a miscarriage a few years back during a weekend girls trip and I was the one who drove her to the hospital and sat with her. It was awful and I felt so terrible that I was the one with her and not her bf or mother. We as a group sent her flowers and a card afterward. Do the other people in your group of friends know about the miscarriage? Maybe you could all do something nice/simple like that as a group so it doesn't focus too much specifically on you?

@Kirstie155 Wow! I can't imagine going through all of that at once. I really hope you find the best path to recovery for yourself without having to put ttc off for too long.

@Kirstie155 - you're having such a rough time but you will come out the other side. I'm so sorry for everything that's going on with you. Do you have some vacation time coming up so you can take some time for yourself? Sending lots of hugs and good wishes xxx

@marianlyn I am so so sorry for your loss. I cannot even imagine the pain you and your partner have gone through with losing your baby. Thank you for sharing your story with us, I hope that this group is helpful for you.

Are you trying to concieve again? I don't mean to intrude, and I hope you feel welcome here.

@marianlyn so sorry to hear that, I can't comprehend what you have been through but what amazing strength you must have, although I can imagine it's a bit of a sink or swim situation? Great work getting healthy, it can only be a positive. So glad you feel comfortable sharing here Wishing you all the best with TTC!

Welcome Jackie!

Hi Ladies, I thought I would quickly drop in and say hello and goodbye before leaving the group. I hope you are all doing well.

The plan of progressing from a Maters to a PhD got derailed by my supervisor who basically stabbed me in the back so I am now looking for a job. This means not TTC this year at all, as I will need to find and get a job, all of which I can find at the moment as casual/contract, then eventually get a full-time permanent job, then think about TTC again in 2-3 years time? ARGH! This feels a bit sad, as I was looking forward to the whole being a parent soon kind of thing... oh well. I thought about staying around on the group, but right now it's a crappy kind of feeling to hear ladies chat about ttc and being pregnant. Good luck to you all, and thank you, you have all been so kind and lovely here xx.

So sorry to hear that Sarah, what an unfortunate turn in events. Hoping you get an amazing full-time job that you love in no time. Try not to worry too much about timeframes with TTC, you might find circumstances change and you can start trying earlier. Hope to see you back here soon xx