What's on your mind today?
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I can't go see my mom either (both because her building is keeping her safe and non-workers away AND I do not even go to wave from the parking lot because I am an at-risk person too) but we talk on the phone every day.
The Entertainment Director sent out an appeal through the various main contacts last week (which got forwarded to me) asking that a photo and message be sent to her, to be pre-printed and handed out at a special Mother's Day tea this afternoon.
Mom was THRILLED when she opened her scroll and realized what it was, and how a way had been found for her to see me after all.
And I had a wonderful Google Meet-up video chat with my one-and-only son. He lives downtown and we live out in the "deep-south suburbs" and he has been staying away for my safety. If he walked from there to here, it would be about a 4 hour trek. But there were some snow-skiffs happening ~8:00 this morning when the cat got him up .... so we talked on the phone, and then he set up the video meet for early afternoon.6 -
Monday 11th May
Some days I am not even grateful that I have woken up9 -
Monday 11th May
Some days I am not even grateful that I have woken up
Do you have access to someone via Tele-health to speak to? I was spiraling badly two weeks ago when I signed up for a web-ex on stress control during this period of time in history. They talked about the four stages of mental health on a day to day type of scenario.
I hope you are able to see the graphic. I was hard yellow sinking into low orange at that point, as were many of us on the call. The social worker leading the discussion recommended that we all reach out for help. When I got home that night I called my therapist’s office, and they were taking FaceTime appointments, so I was booked for the following Thursday, with a follow up last Thursday. It really has made all the difference in the world! I downloaded both “10% Happier” and “Head Space” apps, and they have been really wonderful for going to sleep and mini meditation sessions, no longer than 3 or so minutes.
For me, it’s a total loss of control. I am a control freak and tend to overthink things, as it is, but since all the lockdowns and stay at home orders, plus carrying the weight of my staff on my shoulders, I had to just stop and really “get” that people actually in control of things are few and far between. We have all lost a big portion of control in our lives, and for me? That was a hard pill to swallow.
It isn’t all sunshine and glittery unicorn farts for me all the time, as I still hit bumps in the road, but I will say the good is now outweighing the bad, instead of the opposite.
I hope you are feeling better by the time you read this. If you ever need a shoulder or just want to vent, you can always hit me up via private message. ((((((Hugs))))) to you, @Chinkiri ❣️❣️❣️
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@Chinkiri - Hugs to you!!4
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12th May
Coping. Thank you for your support7 -
@Chinkiri as I lay in bed with insomnia last night I thought back to your posts and focused on all that I was grateful for. The first one was you reminding me to refocus. These are some strange and hard times, sending you hugs. Following silently along with the Mom posts also and yes, she lived to feed us, sheesh, it was hard at times, as it was just an ingrained Italian thing......."eat!" Have a good day all, being signed on to this challenge has def kept me wanting to stay within my goals.
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@Chinkiri - I’ve been thinking about you. I have never had an issue with depression and I can honestly say that this pandemic and loss of control has sent me spiraling. I am depressed one day to the point I don’t want to do anything or talk to anyone. Some days I am paralyzed with fear. Sometimes I can’t breathe due to an anxiety attack. Some days I’m okay. I finally reached out to a friend who is a therapist and she hooked me up with someone. Please know you are not alone and you don’t need to do this alone.4
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@Chinkiri - Sorry for responding here - I cannot locate the thread. Yes, I am very fortunate to be able to continue working through the pandemic. It is sad to report there were quite a few people let go at the company I work for over the past two weeks. Some of those needed to be let go due to work performance and covid-19 was used as an excuse and others simply due to insuring the company remains profitable. It is the first time this has ever happened at the company. They have been in business over 25 years! And, given this situation my time may be around the corner. I do know I am respected there and my skills are needed but know it is not a sure thing for me to expect to be employed by the end of the year. I am afraid the economic fall out is going to be worse than the pandemic.
I certainly understand your feelings. What drives me crazy is academia is so behind the times. There are so many ways to handle oral examinations remotely. There is no need to travel. And, let's face it remote or in person anyone worth their weight would be able to determine if the student/person was prepared and knew the subject matter.
It is my hope all levels of schools begin to realize how badly technology needs to be incorporated in to the curriculum and not just the textbooks. Interestingly enough the children and most students are ready - it's the institutions that need to get in to the game.
And, we are all adapting to our new normal. Some are returning to our offices and protocols have been put in place. There really isn't any use (sorry but this is the truth) for us looking back and morning over this and wasting time and energy wishing it was like is was in September of last year. We all need to take each day as it comes, be as safe as we can, and live our lives. We will see friends and family again, we will eat out, we will travel, we will continue. Will it be different, yes it will. One thing we can always count on is change. It is a constant.
I do wish we could met and solve the world's problems over a glass of wine (or two or three). Big virtual hug to you!5 -
14th May
I had to take some time out from all communication. I did speak to my Mum, a good friend and my therapist and to my partner. Will try and take up 'normal' life again.
Gratitude: Yes.
The lockdown here has been lifted a little and we can now go out without document, as often and as long as we like, within a radius of 100 km. Public transport only if essential and with mask. We can use our bikes again though. Unfortunately, it hasn't stopped raining, but it looks a bit brighter this morning and sunshine forecast for tomorrow. So, that's already a lot to be grateful for!
The authorities will decide today if we can go to the beach again. Only for active use, no sunbathing but I can bike there and have a long beach walk.
Lots of shops are re-opening, and I think the library. I need some new paper books, I'm tired of peering at a screen.
I have not been logging for a couple of days, but I'll restart again. I don't think I was much over calories though, if any, because I had little appetite. Little exercise either.
I was even off my coffee! Grateful for it now.
Have a good day or a restful night everyone!8 -
14th May
I had to take some time out from all communication. I did speak to my Mum, a good friend and my therapist and to my partner. Will try and take up 'normal' life again.
Gratitude: Yes.
The lockdown here has been lifted a little and we can now go out without document, as often and as long as we like, within a radius of 100 km. Public transport only if essential and with mask. We can use our bikes again though. Unfortunately, it hasn't stopped raining, but it looks a bit brighter this morning and sunshine forecast for tomorrow. So, that's already a lot to be grateful for!
The authorities will decide today if we can go to the beach again. Only for active use, no sunbathing but I can bike there and have a long beach walk.
Lots of shops are re-opening, and I think the library. I need some new paper books, I'm tired of peering at a screen.
I have not been logging for a couple of days, but I'll restart again. I don't think I was much over calories though, if any, because I had little appetite. Little exercise either.
I was even off my coffee! Grateful for it now.
Have a good day or a restful night everyone!
Glad to hear about your reach-out and audio-conversations .... and that they have helped!
I hear you about the "need" for physical, paper-format books! 8 weeks into closed-libraries-and-bookstores here, and I have yet to get over my resistance to downloading the neccessary FREE app to access library e-books and audiobooks via my tablet. Re-reading old faves.
MAYBE the store where I get my flavour-steamed-into-the-beans coffee will re-open by the time I run out of this bag-and-a-half .... only those retailers that have doors to the outside and can set up for social-distance through-traffic and know-what-you-are-getting shopping can get cleaned / display racks repositioned / floor markings / ready to open.
Good (kinda-for-MOST-people) news! The gourmet chocolate shop at the top of my street has reopened.
Garden centres and hardware shops are now re-opened too as of just this past Monday. Places where you can get the stuff you need to keep yourself busy at home.3 -
Friday 15th May
Although I had a pretty restless night with lots of bizarre dreams, I am grateful that I have woken up healthy and actually feeling quite positive.
- I am grateful that I did some cleaning and tidying yesterday, so I could go to sleep and wake up feeling pleased with myself and my home
- I am grateful that my step son called and that he is utterly supportive of me and my problems with his Dad
- I am grateful that the city is re-opening a bit. It's nice to see more life on the streets. Most people keep their distance and wear masks.
Wish you all a good day and a restful night!5 -
Friday May 15
I am grateful for a DH who is so concerned about how best to keep me (some chronic low-level respiratory issues) safe - and he will continue in that watching out for me even more than I watch out for me as long as it takes.
I am grateful (as much for his stress-level sake as my own) that my civil service job is both secure AND one that can continue off-site for the foreseeable future (almost but for SOME elements not quite indefinitely). Even when the buildings slowly start opening up again - on a business-case by business-case review of what TRULY needs more on-site presence even if by rotation and what the floorplans / people-flow markings will be reset to .... I would be one of the last and even then potentially only sometimes.
And for my morning coffee.
And that the gourmet chocolate shop just reopened .... even if DH plans to keep me away from ANY re-opened places as long as possible ....4 -
Friday the 15th:
I am grateful for the flexibility of my job this week that has allowed me to get the painting knocked out. Baseboards and frames today and I’m done!
Beyond grateful for my sweet husband as he knows what I’ve been dealing with at work and has been beyond supportive and so vocal about it. 💖
Really grateful for this group of like minded individuals.
Grateful that the weather this weekend is going to be great for pressure washing the pool and some vitamin D therapy. 🤗
And finally, I’m grateful for the Keurig pods that were donated to our department since I walked out of the house without any coffee in my hand. (I left the travel cup I’d poured on the end table. )
I hope everyone has a great day and a wonderful weekend ❣️❣️❣️3 -
The little 7.0 c.f. chest freezer just showed up today! That means activating a whole rethink for "what's possible for portable lunches" just came into play!! JUST in time for yet another slight increase in the daily calories level.2
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Saturday 16th May
Lots of good news on the lockdown front!
My home help is coming back on Monday. I've been kind of managing to keep the place more or less clean, but especially low down deep cleaning is beyond my knees.
The beach nearby is open for walking, cycling, running, watersports and swimming. The sea will still be a bit cold though. I'm not going yet this weekend, it'll be busy, but will bike there next week.
There will be a few exercise classes again next week, outside. We can only book for one a week, but it's a start.
All that cheers me up no end.
I managed to get some actual paper books in the little second hand book and music shop. The library is still closed, so is the station bookshop and the big bookshop is very cramped, not sure if I'm ready to go browsing there.
The museum for Modern Art is re-opening next week.
Hopefully from 2nd June some cafes and restaurants will open for food and drinks outside.
The weather looks set to improve.
There are lots of jasmins in bloom, the smells are intoxicating. Will take some pictures on my walk today.
Trying out a very low carb high fat modest protein diet. It means I can eat more cheese!
So, overflowing with gratitudes this morning and that's before I have even been grateful for another healthy day and only halfway through my morning coffee!
Have a great weekend everyone!5 -
Here's the jasmin just outside my apartment ...
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Sunday 17th May
Woke up before first light, lovely to see the sky lightening before sunrise. Still looking a bit grey, but the rain has gone and I am grateful that I have woken up healthy after a reasonable sleep.
Most peculiar dreams, losing my handbag and going to a bizarre English Literature class. I was most grateful to wake up to a more 'normal', even though 'abnormal' reality.
Grateful for the town slowly opening up. I managed to sign up for three exercise classes next week, in the park, 9 participants.
I can now see the palest bit of sunshine! Yes, it's gonna be a bright, bright, sunshiny day!
Wish you all the same!
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I am planning meals for next week. I always do this, so a) I have nice food to look forward to, b) my shopping list is easy, c) I don't have food in the fridge that shouldn't be there and d) I don't go impulse buying. I check all the time and adapt though.
However, I am trying out a low carb diet, trying to make my scales budge, and I am finding planning really hard as I also want to stick to a calorie budget. I don't want to end up eating all this fatty meat, cheese etc., much as I love cheese. I like my fruit and vegetables, but they keep getting me over my low carb target. I don't want to go Keto; one of my friends is a convert who thinks Keto will cure his dementia. He tried to convert me and my partner who has Alzheimer's, when he stayed with us for a week, making us eat a Keto diet. It just made me feel sick. Too much fat has a bad effect on my liver; I've had very bad jaundice in childhood and picked up a nasty hepatitis (the food kind) working in Spain, and my liver is still sensitive to fat. Full British breakfast has me running for the Rennies.
My partner has all kinds of digestive problems, a lot of them psychological, stress related, so both his nutritionist and I militate for a normal, balanced diet. Mediterranean is great, I think, not really a diet but a lifestyle, and that's where we live and locals seem to be doing well on it, all ingredients easily available: lots of vegetables, fish, olive oil, regular glass of wine.
My question: anyone with experience of low carb, even Keto? I cannot see any of you UAC guys as cranks. I'll watch my scales for a bit longer, see if it works. I could do this short term but I don't think it will make for a healthy lifestyle for me or my partner.
Right, thank you, OK, yes, I know most of the answer is more exercise. Working on it! Was doing well until lockdown...
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@chinkiri - I do not do "diets, plans, etc.". They work for some, but I find them boring and repetitive. There are certain things I never want to give up. I also find when some start plans they do very well and at some point they start eating "normally" and the weight comes back.
That all said I think lifestyle changes/menus work best. There is a ton of positive information regarding the Mediterranean lifestyle. And, when one digs in to it one will find it reflects all of the sound advice found in most non-fad articles/studies.
You see my diet - I am all over the board which works best for me. I do find when I lean towards a vegetarian-based diet my body feels and operates at its best. I call myself the latest term "flextarian". Lately I have been eating more meat than I normally do and I can feel it - I am a little more sluggish than I usually am. My mini-goal next week is to work upon shifting back to more vegetables and healthy carbs with less meat.
The only suggestion I have is to experiment. Try Mediterranean for a week or two and see how you feel. Keto can be adjusted to use leaner meats and using healthy oils.
I honestly believe and support any type of plan/lifestyle that works for a person. Our genetics and lives are all so varied I believe there is no "one size fits all" solution. Many blend plans.
They eat Keto for 5 days and regularly for 2. Some do one meal per day and find it works great for them. Some fast two days out of the week and eat normally for the rest of the week. My plan is basically moderation with no food limits. I do not see food as bad or good. I see it as nutritionally and calorie dense or light as I mentioned awhile ago (I think last month in a convo with Rob in our feeds).
It will be interesting to see what others post. I am always looking to incorporate best practices.
I am glad things are loosening up and you are finding positive things to do and look forward to. Keep up the great work and remember to take one day at a time.3 -
I did Keto for about two months at the end of 2018. I lost a pretty good chunk of weight, but I had to stop because it wreaked havoc on my annual blood work. Fatty liver, anyone?
@Chinkiri you sound so much better!
I am plumb worn out tonight. Seven days of painting and the better part of the afternoon yesterday and more painting today have me 😰🥱2 -
Monday 18th May
A new day, a new week. Looks much brighter here, forecast is sunny all week. It's more usual for us to get rain in April, but this year April was like summer and the rains came in May.
Lots of things to be grateful for then: the weather, re-starting exercise classes tomorrow, home help coming to clean today. Lost a bit more weight, my scales have now dipped just under 72 kilos, target weight should be do-able by the time I can travel again.
Have a good day everyone and a good week!
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Tuesday 19th May
Grateful to have been woken up by a small bird, chirping away, delightful!
The weather is still lovely, sunshine, not too hot, not too windy.
Grateful I could sit outside on my terrace.
Grateful my apartment is clean again, clean sheets too!
Really happy I could wear a blouse I last wore on my travels in 2007. I was a lot thinner then, but the blouse fit yesterday without straining buttons or that tell-tale little gap between buttons!
Have a good day everyone!
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@Chinkiri-isn't that the best NSV, wearing old clothes again? Lots of sun here too, hope everyone is able to get out this week and enjoy. 4
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@Chinkiri-isn't that the best NSV, wearing old clothes again? Lots of sun here too, hope everyone is able to get out this week and enjoy.
A sunshininy weekend here too, with more on the way. BBQ'd two days in a row.
Anyone else started doing the pack-away-sweaters / unpack-summer-cottons yet? I am starting to - and finding summer dresses that fit (I wouldn't wear these to the office ... but i AM working from home and my position doesn't require video meetings ... )3 -
Wednesday 20th May
Woken up feeling not just positive, but positively happy. This is such a big change from how I felt not so long ago, I don't know how to express my gratitude for that.
Yesterday I got a Call for Papers for the Annual Conference, in November, of my professional organisation, where I usually do a presentation or a workshop and I am thinking I might do something about mental health issues in teaching and learning. It's given me a project. After the collapse of my Italian project due to the Corona virus, I am really grateful for this opportunity.
The weather helps, it's gorgeous. Temperatures up to 30°. I like it hot and my apartment is cool, with most of my terrace shaded by trees.
I find that my slow, but successful and continuing weight loss, increased fitness, being able to stick to UAC rules, the support from the team, are making a huge contribution to my mental health. An unexpected phone call from my youngest son last night was good too!
This morning I am expecting a friend to visit, the first one since Lockdown. We'll sit outside, of course!
Thank you all for your continuing support, good times and bad times.
Have a great day everyone!
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@Chinkiri-isn't that the best NSV, wearing old clothes again? Lots of sun here too, hope everyone is able to get out this week and enjoy.
A sunshininy weekend here too, with more on the way. BBQ'd two days in a row.
Anyone else started doing the pack-away-sweaters / unpack-summer-cottons yet? I am starting to - and finding summer dresses that fit (I wouldn't wear these to the office ... but i AM working from home and my position doesn't require video meetings ... )
I packed my winter woollies away ages ago as this is southern France and I rarely need them, but I keep them for visits to UK and the Netherlands. As they were off, I packed them away. I haven't got into summer dresses yet, but summer now seems to be staying, 30° yesterday. I will investigate how they fit me now. I was 10 kilo heavier last summer!3
