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  • NovusDies
    NovusDies Posts: 8,940 Member
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    Hi, im back again to give this a whirl, i had lost 45 lbs but now scale is creeping up & i have a long ways to go, i have struggled my whole adult life with weight. I am active & get around pretty good but I just worry it is going to catch me & it will be the end.. i don't want that. Good luck to everyone.

    Hi @crzycowgrl23,

    Welcome.

    I got around pretty good when I was younger but weight wears down your joints even if you are not still gaining. It is cumulative. I know of a young woman right now who is not controlling her food but doing very intense exercise. She has not asked me for advice so I haven't expressed my fear that she is doing damage to her body as she is carrying a fair amount of extra weight. Not long ago I heard she was suffering from some mild knee pain so it has probably already started.

    I encourage you to find your easiest path forward that does not feel like a struggle... at least not everyday. There is no helping the fact that bad days are part of this just like they are part of just living life but they should not all be bad.

  • NovusDies
    NovusDies Posts: 8,940 Member
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    tempe987 wrote: »
    Hi Everyone!!!

    I'm Rachel, I am 32 and starting over on a journey that has been a lifelong struggle. I have always been overweight. I think I weighed 200 as a freshman in high school. I am now at 336lbs. I've used MFP on and off for years but never the forums before and I am looking for "like-minded" people to be friends and support each other in this journey! i was planning on having a WLS but I was having second thoughts. So I am giving myself the next three months as a short term goal to see what changes I can make on my own!



    Hi @tempe987 Rachel,

    Welcome to LL.

    I think you will find like-minded people in our group here. While not all of us understand being heavy since HS and before many of us do, I do.

    I am not going to try and talk you into or out of WLS. Those are decisions only you can make. I will say that based on my experience with seeing others who have done it and still failed to either get their weight off or keep it off that WLS is not a cure. It is a tool. All of the same things you would need to do to lose weight successfully on your own you will still need to learn for the WLS to be effective.

    By the time I am done I will have lost most of your entire current weight and I have not had wls. I have had skin removal that took off 15ish pounds of subcutaneous fat but I don't really count that since it was a byproduct of the procedure not the goal... plus it is a fairly insignificant amount of fat considering how much I had lost before it happened.

    I am not sure 3 months is enough time to give yourself but I understand that at some point you probably need to make a final decision. We will support you in any way we can with or without the surgery. What is important is making progress.
  • NovusDies
    NovusDies Posts: 8,940 Member
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    MuttiNM wrote: »
    Hi all! I've been lurking here almost since this group was started and @papayahed 's question about trail runners prompted me to officially join the group. I thought I might as well go ahead and introduce myself. I "know" some of the women here from the monthly "Women 200lb+" threads. I'm in my early 60s and have been retired for about 3 years. I'm blessed with an amazing daughter and son.

    My highest weight was 435 on 11/1/18. I lost 50 pounds by the end of 2018 but gained back almost 31 pounds before restarting on 4/17/19 at 415.8 lbs. I just logged my food in a spreadsheet until I found MFP in July 2019. Since April 2019 I've lost almost 185 pounds for a total loss from my highest weight of 203.8. I still have a lot to lose but I'm hopeful I'll get there eventually. I don't really have a firm goal weight in mind as I can't envision what I will look like or feel like when I get to a healthy weight. I'll let my doctor, how I feel, and maybe how much loose skin I have guide me when the time comes.

    Even though I still have a way to go, I've gained so much from losing the weight I have so far. When I started, everything was hard...getting dressed, grocery shopping, housecleaning, walking. I could barely walk about 100 feet without feeling like I was going to die. I didn't add exercise into my routine until I had been logging my food for three months. Then it was very small amounts because that was all I could do. Now, a year later, I can walk, hike, and bike...not as far as I want to yet but I can go much further than I ever dreamed possible. Just being able to get on a bike felt like an impossible dream...something I would never really be able to achieve. When I was actually able to purchase a bike this spring and ride it for even a few miles, well, I almost cried.

    I guess I'll stop rambling now. Hope to get to know you all a bit better!

    Hi @MuttiNM,

    Welcome. Glad you decided to stop lurking.

    Our stories have some similarities. All I can do now that I could not do even a year ago makes me feel like I am in a constant state of Christmas morning. A year ago I still had a very large skin impediment that was keeping me more idle than I wanted to be despite having lost 200 pounds. I did not have a good fat weight distribution when I was heavy so losing created a pretty massive problem for me. Things improved dramatically after my surgery and it was worth it even knowing I will need a second one in a year or so.

    For me standing was once painful and walking was torture. Not long ago I walked 8 miles. I know I did it but I still don't believe it. 5 - 6 miles in a single effort is still more comfortable but knowing I can do so much when, like you, 100 feet or so was a challenge is unbelievable.
  • NovusDies
    NovusDies Posts: 8,940 Member
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    Started back in September 2016 under HakeemTheDream89 I was 455 and very toxic, to say the least

    Literally almost four later at age 30, 415 pounds and type 2 Diabetic for 1 year now


    I've spent last 11 years on and off on Internet Catfishing, Trolling and looking for acceptance, attention, and love on many sites from Facebook to Tagged to Youtube to Feabile which is fat fetish website, etc

    Even the party line for years



    Diabetes and physical pain is truly humbling and forcing me to change for the future. I'm simply trying to avoid self-destruction and 2nd childhood at the same time at 30


    Today I completed my 7th day of exercise along with other changes by limiting carbs intake. My A1C is 13.2 and blood sugar consists of mid 200s. Over past 7 months it has reached in access of 576 at one point and its been a scary war but I shall win


    I no longer Catfish and even took extreme steps of deleting facebook, Instagram and other major apps/sites


    Why am I still on here and Fitbit??


    I'm accepting friends and all the support I can get as long as it's authentic and genuine

    I don't want pity or sympathy I just need people who will be down for me


    I'll start with a friend request :)


    Hi @TheLastMrBig,

    Welcome.

    Your past is your past and as long as it remains that way I do not care about any of it. What matters now is you making progress towards a better tomorrow.

    While I encourage people to give themselves permission to be imperfect your situation will require you to be more disciplined. You absolutely cannot allow your blood sugar to get that high. It is literally poisoning your body.

    Exercise as you can but concentrate mostly on food for right now. Experiment with what helps you get through the day the easiest way you can. Remember it is not carbs but net carbs so begin increasing your fiber where you can. A good place to also start is with higher protein. High volume helps me too.

    When my life started truly transforming for the better I decided to start this group to help others do the same. It is important to me so I hope you stick around and try not to make your participation based on doing well. We all struggle and one of the best things we can do for each other is just be there when things are going the wrong way. There is no path that won't include bad or weak days when you have enough to lose to qualify for this group.
  • bmeadows380
    bmeadows380 Posts: 2,981 Member
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    NovusDies wrote: »
    Started back in September 2016 under HakeemTheDream89 I was 455 and very toxic, to say the least

    Literally almost four later at age 30, 415 pounds and type 2 Diabetic for 1 year now


    I've spent last 11 years on and off on Internet Catfishing, Trolling and looking for acceptance, attention, and love on many sites from Facebook to Tagged to Youtube to Feabile which is fat fetish website, etc

    Even the party line for years



    Diabetes and physical pain is truly humbling and forcing me to change for the future. I'm simply trying to avoid self-destruction and 2nd childhood at the same time at 30


    Today I completed my 7th day of exercise along with other changes by limiting carbs intake. My A1C is 13.2 and blood sugar consists of mid 200s. Over past 7 months it has reached in access of 576 at one point and its been a scary war but I shall win


    I no longer Catfish and even took extreme steps of deleting facebook, Instagram and other major apps/sites


    Why am I still on here and Fitbit??


    I'm accepting friends and all the support I can get as long as it's authentic and genuine

    I don't want pity or sympathy I just need people who will be down for me


    I'll start with a friend request :)


    Hi @TheLastMrBig,

    Welcome.

    Your past is your past and as long as it remains that way I do not care about any of it. What matters now is you making progress towards a better tomorrow.

    While I encourage people to give themselves permission to be imperfect your situation will require you to be more disciplined. You absolutely cannot allow your blood sugar to get that high. It is literally poisoning your body.

    Exercise as you can but concentrate mostly on food for right now. Experiment with what helps you get through the day the easiest way you can. Remember it is not carbs but net carbs so begin increasing your fiber where you can. A good place to also start is with higher protein. High volume helps me too.

    When my life started truly transforming for the better I decided to start this group to help others do the same. It is important to me so I hope you stick around and try not to make your participation based on doing well. We all struggle and one of the best things we can do for each other is just be there when things are going the wrong way. There is no path that won't include bad or weak days when you have enough to lose to qualify for this group.

    ^^I second this whole heartedly! Even if you plateau, struggle, fail, keep coming here - it can be such a huge help to have a place to vent, whine, complain, or just talk about your struggles, your weaknesses, and your outright failures with folks who understand, are sympathetic, and who really want to help. It helps to know you aren't alone in all that and to be reminded that you are only human; perfection isn't attainable. Its really easy to get into the "must achieve perfection" mindset when you are in isolation; it can be such a relief when you finally break your silence and speak up and find that others are struggling too, especially when its someone who seems to have achieved so much and has so much discipline or seems to be winning where you think you are losing!
  • gewel321
    gewel321 Posts: 718 Member
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    @tempe987 As someone that had WLS 5 years ago let me tell you it is not the miracle cure everything thinks it is. While I do not regret it and I would not change it at all without the proper eating habits it will all come back. Mine did not but only because I caught it on the rise back up and said never again! I will never go back to 400lbs so I watch what I eat and I exercise and I keep my calories where they need to be. I am loosing again and feeling much better with myself. My sleeve was a tool and one that I use but with only one tool in your box you can never build a masterpiece! I am open to answering any questions you have or just to provide support. This group is one of the most supportive groups I have found. Even when you fall off the wagon they are there to help push my big behind back on it!
  • bmeadows380
    bmeadows380 Posts: 2,981 Member
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    gewel321 wrote: »
    @tempe987 As someone that had WLS 5 years ago let me tell you it is not the miracle cure everything thinks it is. While I do not regret it and I would not change it at all without the proper eating habits it will all come back. Mine did not but only because I caught it on the rise back up and said never again! I will never go back to 400lbs so I watch what I eat and I exercise and I keep my calories where they need to be. I am loosing again and feeling much better with myself. My sleeve was a tool and one that I use but with only one tool in your box you can never build a masterpiece! I am open to answering any questions you have or just to provide support. This group is one of the most supportive groups I have found. Even when you fall off the wagon they are there to help push my big behind back on it!

    This is what I wish would be told to people who are considering it because so many think its some quick and easy way to lose and its anything but! I know my brother doesn't necessarily regret his surgery but he also says a lot of what he was told by the clinic was not true, and he too has gained a chunk of his weight back. I don't know how much he's regained, but in a conversation on Saturday about my weight loss, my sister in law asked me how low I was going to go, and my brother commented that he'd like to be at 275 lbs, which is telling me he must be above that because he's trying to diet again. And if so, he's regained at least 50 - 75 lbs in this case.

    And the clinic you use really varies, too, on quality. My cousin's doctor I really think is in it for the money. He talked her into doing the sleeve 3 years ago, and when she stopped losing and started regaining, instead of sending her to a dietician to get her eating back under control because as her stomach healed, she went back to eating the old way and so has regained part of her weight, though not all, the doctor just wants to do a second WLS. *shakes head* Its the clinics like this that really make it hard on the good ones!

    I saw what my brother and sister in law and cousin all went through and I can vouch that WLS is definitely not anywhere near easy! And if you don't take the opportunity to learn new eating habits and commit to them, the weight will come back just like with dieting. But I know for some people, its a life saver and there are many who do it with no regrets. I've never considered it and don't think it would be a good tool for me, but I know it works well for others. I just wish that the clinics were more honest and forthright with the pros and cons and success rate. The doctor that did my brothers swore he had this huge success rate, but what he didn't specify was that he was counting the patients before 5 years was up and not the long term ones.

    Though in truth, I really wish my sister would consider it. She's 5'1" and weighs over 260 lbs but I don't push because she has flat out said she'd rather stay fat than limit what she's eating *sigh* And she has high blood sugar, high blood pressure, high cholesterol, bad knees and hips, no stamina at all.......But since she's the type that refuses to rein in her eating for any reason, even with her diabetes and blood pressure, I know that she would be one of the failures with it - she'd lose all her weight, then when her stomach healed, she'd go right back to eating like she did before and gain most or all of it back. Unfortunately, I'm not sure what it would take for my sister to wake up to what she's doing to herself; even having chest pains and thinking she was having a heart attack at 38 back in the winter didn't change her habits. I"m very much afraid she's going to eat herself right into an early grave. :(


    Anyway, I'm very glad to see a long-termer with experience with WLS here to give a better perspective on the long term life after WLS and not just the first 6 months or year!
  • jodibeth5744
    jodibeth5744 Posts: 65 Member
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    I love all of these insightful comments. I would like to add something as well, which might sound controversial, but I just don’t believe there’s any “healthy” overweight situation. As commented before, it is cumulative. I want to add that you don’t actively have to have diabetes, blood pressure issues, high cholesterol, or even mobility issues before it is a “problem”. On a personal note, when my father was alive, he was moderately overweight but very active-and a week after getting a clean bill of health at his annual physical had a massive heart attack with 90% blockage to his heart followed by four bypasses. The week before he was told he had perfect blood pressure, perfect cholesterol, perfect sugar. He spent the next 14 years battling heart disease, chf, a fib, and finally died of heart failure. My mother also, had a perfect bill of health, got a stomachache, was diagnosed with pancreatic stage 4 cancer, and died two weeks later. We never can truly know what our body is doing on the inside even when we are given great test results. So I firmly believe it’s smart to focus on what we can control, and that is how we take care of ourselves, mentally and physically-through food, rest, exercise, and positive relationships.
  • NovusDies
    NovusDies Posts: 8,940 Member
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    I love all of these insightful comments. I would like to add something as well, which might sound controversial, but I just don’t believe there’s any “healthy” overweight situation. As commented before, it is cumulative. I want to add that you don’t actively have to have diabetes, blood pressure issues, high cholesterol, or even mobility issues before it is a “problem”. On a personal note, when my father was alive, he was moderately overweight but very active-and a week after getting a clean bill of health at his annual physical had a massive heart attack with 90% blockage to his heart followed by four bypasses. The week before he was told he had perfect blood pressure, perfect cholesterol, perfect sugar. He spent the next 14 years battling heart disease, chf, a fib, and finally died of heart failure. My mother also, had a perfect bill of health, got a stomachache, was diagnosed with pancreatic stage 4 cancer, and died two weeks later. We never can truly know what our body is doing on the inside even when we are given great test results. So I firmly believe it’s smart to focus on what we can control, and that is how we take care of ourselves, mentally and physically-through food, rest, exercise, and positive relationships.

    @jodibeth5744

    That is a tricky comment as people can be overweight based on a chart because of increased muscle mass. It would probably be more accurate to say that after a certain percentage of fat but even that is heavily influenced by genetics. If you have enough fat to be obese and not muscle because you are trying to be Arnold Schwarzenegger you should consider that the fat is causing your body to work harder than it should opening yourself up for complications if not much worse.

    With that said genes are a definite factor and I am sure we all know people who based on weight and diet SHOULD be really healthy but they suffer from various health problems. I have a friend that is constantly frustrated because he does almost everything right but he has high cholesterol, high blood pressure, and he is pre-diabetic. This man is in his 60's and in his family he is very old because most of his relatives died early. Taking care of himself is extending his life but not making him healthy... just healthier.

  • gewel321
    gewel321 Posts: 718 Member
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    I love all of these insightful comments. I would like to add something as well, which might sound controversial, but I just don’t believe there’s any “healthy” overweight situation. As commented before, it is cumulative. I want to add that you don’t actively have to have diabetes, blood pressure issues, high cholesterol, or even mobility issues before it is a “problem”. On a personal note, when my father was alive, he was moderately overweight but very active-and a week after getting a clean bill of health at his annual physical had a massive heart attack with 90% blockage to his heart followed by four bypasses. The week before he was told he had perfect blood pressure, perfect cholesterol, perfect sugar. He spent the next 14 years battling heart disease, chf, a fib, and finally died of heart failure. My mother also, had a perfect bill of health, got a stomachache, was diagnosed with pancreatic stage 4 cancer, and died two weeks later. We never can truly know what our body is doing on the inside even when we are given great test results. So I firmly believe it’s smart to focus on what we can control, and that is how we take care of ourselves, mentally and physically-through food, rest, exercise, and positive relationships.

    I agree that it is different to see it through the eyes after several years. I know several people who did this path with me. My best friend had her sleeve a few weeks before me. She has gained all of her weight back. It breaks my heart to see that but she didn’t change her eating patterns. My sister and other friend had it done two years ago. My sister lost all her weight and is super small and looks amazing. She still watches what she eats and is very active. She is keeping it off. My friend still struggles and so her weight struggles with her. I have convinced her to start mfp and she is doing better most days. We all have to keep working at it to get to where we want but ultimately we have to do it for the right reasons for each of us!
  • tempe987
    tempe987 Posts: 39 Member
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    gewel321 wrote: »
    @tempe987 As someone that had WLS 5 years ago let me tell you it is not the miracle cure everything thinks it is. While I do not regret it and I would not change it at all without the proper eating habits it will all come back. Mine did not but only because I caught it on the rise back up and said never again! I will never go back to 400lbs so I watch what I eat and I exercise and I keep my calories where they need to be. I am loosing again and feeling much better with myself. My sleeve was a tool and one that I use but with only one tool in your box you can never build a masterpiece! I am open to answering any questions you have or just to provide support. This group is one of the most supportive groups I have found. Even when you fall off the wagon they are there to help push my big behind back on it!

    I hate how so many people think that it is an easy solution! I was just doing the prep leading up to it and struggling with not drinking while eating. I was or am going to have a bypass, it is the better choice for me. I know a couple people IRL who had sleeves. One gained it all back and the other has kept her weight off. I love having people to talk to about it because it is such a complicated process.
  • tempe987
    tempe987 Posts: 39 Member
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    gewel321 wrote: »

    Though in truth, I really wish my sister would consider it. She's 5'1" and weighs over 260 lbs but I don't push because she has flat out said she'd rather stay fat than limit what she's eating *sigh* And she has high blood sugar, high blood pressure, high cholesterol, bad knees and hips, no stamina at all.......But since she's the type that refuses to rein in her eating for any reason, even with her diabetes and blood pressure, I know that she would be one of the failures with it - she'd lose all her weight, then when her stomach healed, she'd go right back to eating like she did before and gain most or all of it back. Unfortunately, I'm not sure what it would take for my sister to wake up to what she's doing to herself; even having chest pains and thinking she was having a heart attack at 38 back in the winter didn't change her habits. I"m very much afraid she's going to eat herself right into an early grave. :(


    Anyway, I'm very glad to see a long-termer with experience with WLS here to give a better perspective on the long term life after WLS and not just the first 6 months or year!


    Wow, locally our surgeries are done by a unit in the big hospital. They were very clear in every class I have taken (like 5 over the years) that it is not a miracle and it is hard work. They give you a binder of all the whole process and tbh its really overwhelming. It makes me sad to know that there are other "clinics" that don't properly educate patients about the process.
  • magpieslim
    magpieslim Posts: 8 Member
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    hi all new this, i'm 44 from the west of Ireland, i have always being a big lad but as im getting older i want to be able to do more and go more with my partner and daughter but found my weight was really holding me back so i started MFP as i saw it on Facebook and said i could try that, i started here 6 weeks ago at 309lb and last weigh in last Friday i was 295.6lb, i have set my first goal at 267lb so with a bit of motivation and stamina hopefully i can reach that and set my next goal. So best of luck all and hopefully we can get to where we want to be, tiocfaidh ár lá.
  • bmeadows380
    bmeadows380 Posts: 2,981 Member
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    magpieslim wrote: »
    hi all new this, i'm 44 from the west of Ireland, i have always being a big lad but as im getting older i want to be able to do more and go more with my partner and daughter but found my weight was really holding me back so i started MFP as i saw it on Facebook and said i could try that, i started here 6 weeks ago at 309lb and last weigh in last Friday i was 295.6lb, i have set my first goal at 267lb so with a bit of motivation and stamina hopefully i can reach that and set my next goal. So best of luck all and hopefully we can get to where we want to be, tiocfaidh ár lá.

    welcome, @magpiesslim !

    You speak and write gaelic! :grin: I have always thought Irish and Welsh were beautiful languages, though complicated. I'd love to learn to speak and read both one of these days, but I don't do well in self-taught courses and need to learn grammar at the same time that I'm learning the language like you get in a class room setting (thinks like rosetta stone or duolingo that just teach words and not reading or grammar haven't worked for me). Unfortunately, they are both rather rare languages so its not easy to find good courses for them in the Americas, especially Welsh. And I really, really need the grammar parts since they work very differently from English with the long and short vowels of Irish and the mutations of Welsh - (though I finally understand enough to know why Sean is pronounced liked "Dawn" instead of "Dean" lol)

    Anyway, sounds like you are making good progress!
  • Naz_2020
    Naz_2020 Posts: 79 Member
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    Hi I am Nazah. I am 30 years old and my height is 5'8".
    I joined MFP 17 days ago. No this is not the first time. I tried to lose weight before and failed. I lost weight then I gained it back. Not once, multiple times. This has been a constant battle in my life. I started at my heaviest which was 297.6 lbs. In 17 days I lost 6.6 lbs and now I am 291
    I am taking one day at a time. Staying under calorie goal and also try to burn some calories by doing household chores. Mainly I try to be active all day. I cook my own meal. I do the dishes. I clean my room.
    I am not setting any big goals but I do have a lot to lose. More than 100 lbs but I am not worried about any fixed time frame. I am eating healthy and staying active. I hope this would result in something positive at some point. 😊😊😊
  • bmeadows380
    bmeadows380 Posts: 2,981 Member
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    hi, @nazah_sakin Nazah! Welcome!

    You are definitely not the only one to be on this merry-go-round battle for weight loss; but I think the key is to not look at the past as failures but as learning opportunities to build upon for future success. And it sounds to me like you have a very sensible approach going there. We're around the same height, too, so I can relate at least a little lol Best of luck to you!
  • Naz_2020
    Naz_2020 Posts: 79 Member
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    Thank you 😁😁
  • deafenbaugh
    deafenbaugh Posts: 39 Member
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    Welcome to the group! I am relatively new to the group also. I have found the words and encouragement from the others very comforting and encouraging. Look forward to following your progress.
  • Naz_2020
    Naz_2020 Posts: 79 Member
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    NovusDies wrote: »
    Hi I am Nazah. I am 30 years old and my height is 5'8".
    I joined MFP 17 days ago. No this is not the first time. I tried to lose weight before and failed. I lost weight then I gained it back. Not once, multiple times. This has been a constant battle in my life. I started at my heaviest which was 297.6 lbs. In 17 days I lost 6.6 lbs and now I am 291
    I am taking one day at a time. Staying under calorie goal and also try to burn some calories by doing household chores. Mainly I try to be active all day. I cook my own meal. I do the dishes. I clean my room.
    I am not setting any big goals but I do have a lot to lose. More than 100 lbs but I am not worried about any fixed time frame. I am eating healthy and staying active. I hope this would result in something positive at some point. 😊😊😊

    Welcome @nazah_sakin!

    I am glad you decided to join us. You might be interested to know we have some members here who also suffer from binge eating and, being the rock stars they are, have managed to lose a lot of weight despite the occasional lapse.

    I really love the one day at a time mentality. It has been one of the cornerstones of my system. I set myself very vague goals and then focused on having an easy process that kept me happy-ish most days and feeling normal. I can only live today so I have trained myself to mostly ignore weight loss and just do what I need to do today. I allow tomorrow's version of me to pick up where I have left off. If I do horrible today I trust that tomorrow me will do better - he usually does. I treated my weight reduction as the bonus prize of doing what I need to do most days. That one switch in thinking really helped me take the pressure off and it kept me focused on the process not the goal. If I perfect the process, or come close to it, the weight will take care of itself and it has (so far).

    My vague goals were to be healthier and more fit. I liked those goals because they didn't require a number and each day I made progress I was, in fact, healthier and more fit. This fit back into my day to day mentality. This also helped me have more "wins" and that is, to me, very helpful.

    Your "something positive" is right around the corner and if you decide to share your NSVs with us we will celebrate them with you. Trust that this group will have a greater understanding of things you believe people with far less weight to lose wouldn't grasp as an NSV. It is exciting, for instance, to measure the distance between the steering wheel and your person to this group and realize it is widening.

    In other words, welcome home. We are your people. Share your good days and bad, your strong days and weak days. We will do our best to provide an assist for the bad days and a "good going" on the better ones.

    Thank you so much @NovusDies. 😊😊😊