NovusDies wrote: »

bmeadows380 wrote: »

@NovusDies

Part of my frustration is also dread because this is the time of year that everything started unraveling in both of my past weight loss successes. I'll get started well in the winter, do fantastic during the spring, but when summer hits, my resolve just starts to dwindle and the weight loss stalls then turns into a long term plateau, and in each of the last 2 attempts (2012 and 2017), that's when the regain starts. IN 2012, I ended up regaining 90 of the 95 lbs I lost; in 2017 I regained 30 (though I figure that's a success since at least the 2nd time in, I didn't regain all 100 that I had lost, right?)

I hope things can be better this time around since I'm more aware of it starting to happen, but being aware of it is one thing; winning the willpower battle with snack drive and mental hunger is quite another.

I know mentally that even if I just stabilize for the next couple of months and pick back up after the holidays, that would be okay and be a win; giving myself permission to do that? Not so easy lol But that's the highly self-critical part of me talking; the part that won't consider that I've lost 140 lbs as success but just wants to focus on "if you don't reach 180 lbs, then you didn't succeed no matter how much you lost because its the goal that counts." And yes, I know that is ridiculous and I'm working on trying to ignore that little voice and I have to ignore it because trying to reason with it is impossible! But its there in the back of my head nevertheless.

Based on your trend the most you would regain this time is 10 pounds (90 - 30 - 10). Math is fun.

You won't unravel this time. You have a secret weapon this time. Us.

You are not a trustworthy character witness at your various mental trials. I hope one day that is not the case. Until it is trust that the people who can be objective (not your family apparently) and that care about you will assess your rock star-ness better than you will.

The purpose of all this is not to drive the scale down. The purpose is to live a life inside a calorie budget most of the time for forever. It can't be dependent on rewards, motivation, or labels like success because eventually the only one that will exist is maintaining whatever weight seem reasonably close to an ideal and is relatively easy to maintain. It will be like mowing the grass knowing that you will need to mow it again and again during the growing season. There is no success there is just keeping the grass in a tolerable range. You mow the grass because it is part of your weekly process.

This is why for the longest time now I have practiced a discipline of doing the process and treating weight loss as a bonus prize. I am human so those lines get fuzzy for me here and there but I do decently most of the time. My biggest concern is not what the scale will read next week but what it will read in 3 years, 5 years, 10 years, and so forth.

I'd really hope the math would work that way, though I don't even want to gain back that much

I know I'd make a lousy supporting witness for myself; someone was talking about the "eye test" in relation to BMI, waist circumference, etc, as a means of evaluating whether or not one was at a weight healthy for them, and I knew the eye test would never work for me because I can't see it except maybe in pictures. But we're talking about a deep rooted bias that has had many, many years to spread its root complex like an invasive Japanese knotweed (which I have the misfortune of having to deal with every year on two different sides of my property *sigh* ) I can recognize the problem but all my digging still hasn't undermined the root of it yet. I certainly don't see myself as a rock-star lol

Still, even knowing I have to mow the grass each week doesn't mitigate the satisfaction of looking at a fresh mowed yard and seeing how nice the last couple of hours of effort have been! And it's a renewable feeling I suppose I'm the sort that needs that validation, to see myself reach a goal I had set; I just wish my internal self would quit moving the goal posts!

no walk outside for me today, but I'll gladly give it up - its raining! We've been so dry and my garden plants desperately needed it. I swear the zucchini I picked today must have tripled in size overnight last night with the rain it got then - its going on the supper table this evening All my squashes are looking great - 2 of my spaghetti squashes also grew at an astonishing rate last night, and the one plant I have off by itself I think is indeed a banana squash with 2 squashes on it, which please me to no end because I had thought at first that none of my banana squash seeds had germinated, then this one plant came up where I thought I had that seed. And my pumpkin patch is huge and I counted at least 6 little pumpkins so far. The leaves are the size of dinner plates on all my squash plants, which is also great because they shade the dirt and help hold the moisture.

Except my butternuts The plants are fantastic and I had 2 at least that were about as long as my thumb but when I looked at them this morning, they had fallen off and I don't know why. I'm going to investigate why but I'm suspecting it was the heat. And my brussel sprouts are once again beautiful plants but don't look to be making brussel sprouts. I don't know what the problem is here, either, unless its also heat as that plant family (cabbages, broccoli, cauliflower, etc) like it cooler and wetter as well. But this is the 3rd year I've tried brussel sprouts and got no results, the 2nd year from seed, so next year I'm going to get different seed and see if that makes a difference.

I've also been trying to figure out why my rutabagas won't form the large balls like they are supposed to and it seems that is heat related too, so this evening, rain or not, I'm going to put some more seed out. They like cooler weather so perhaps if they germinate now, they'll be maturing in mid October and might work then. My tomatoes are blooming wonderfully, and my little watermelon and cantaloupe plants are finally growing longer and have blooms so we'll see if I end up with any fruit on them.

@rockconner Back in 2017 when I was living in a different town near a more populated area with bigger and more stores, I would go in the summer after work sometimes and walk the local mall for that reason. Malls aren't nearly as crowded as they used to be so I didn't have to dodge too many people, but I got tired of making the same loop 3 or 4 times just to get a 45 minute walk in

The stores where I live now are smaller stores, though, and much more crowded and I can't keep my speed going in them. Not to mention my fitness tracker won't count my steps if I'm pushing a cart *grumble* Course I'm also finding that I'm crisscrossing the stores a lot when I'm shopping because I'll look at my list and see that I forgot something that's clear back on the other side - and that's with putting my list in order by store aisles (because even though I've been shopping in these stores for nearly 3 years now, I still can't remember the exact order).

That's all because I've built my stamina up in the last few months, I think - but starting out in stores worked wonders for me back then and at least had me moving! I like variety, too, so while I only have 4 routes I can take here in the town I'm living in now if I want a 5+ mile walk in, I can at least vary it up from one day to the next so it doesn't feel like I'm constantly repeating myself. I haven't gotten the courage to try the other direction yet - there aren't any walking paths around here so I"m walking the edge of the road, and the berm is much wider going in the direction of the nearest town than it is the other way. But one of these days I'm going to head that way - its 4 miles one way to the little community where the Taco Bell is, and 8 miles to the nearest town that way and probably 10 miles to my church in that town - one of these days, I want to walk all the way to the church and I'll have to walk the road to get there (while it would be shorter as the crow flies to just cross the mountain behind my parents' house I doubt I'd be able to find my way and would probably wind up lost or eaten by a bear lol). There is the train track that goes all the way to the other town too, but I can't walk the tracks easily - the ties are unevenly spaced and throw my walking gait off and I find myself sometimes slipping on the ties. I like walking where I can keep an even pace and get into my groove, so to speak.

I noticed last week a place across from the fair grounds near where I work where excavation work was going on, then saw a sign a little further down the road announcing it was where the aquatic center was being built - yeah! They are finally getting started on it! Its supposed to be open by this time next year. I'll look forward to it and perhaps, depending on the fees they charge, sign up for swimming lessons. I can float and paddle a little but not actually swim and don't get into water over my head; plus it will be a great way to keep active in winter and being so close to where I work, be very accessible too.


So meanwhile, I did an hour on the elliptical this morning and got a ~30 minute cardio session in this afternoon. We'll see what I get into this evening. Since its raining, I might just go out, measure the booths in my camper, and start making the covers I'll need for the cushions. That might be more sedentary than active, but it is something I need to do, and since I'm indoors because of the rain anyway......

I almost made it yesterday under calorie goal, but those low carb banana muffins I made were singing a siren's call last night before bed that I couldn't resist, which put me about 160 calories over. Not a big deal, though, in the long run. I plan to take the rest of them over to mom and dad this evening (after getting another for breakfast lol) since they are 3g of sugar and only 9 carbs apiece and dad's doctor has him counting carbs because of his diabetes. That'll put the rest of them out of my reach.

Anywho, we finally had rain yesterday, and the heat has been down because of the cloud cover yesterday and again today, praise the Lord! My house is a little warm right now because I'm self-cleaning the oven, but not bad and not enough to kick the air conditioners on - and the oven really needed cleaned!

Even though I had trouble going to sleep last night, and even though I woke up with my legs a little swollen due to water retention, I had an all time low on the scale this morning - 228.9 lbs! That was very nice to see! Still doesn't get my overall trend below 230 yet, but it greatly helps! Yesterday evening ended up being a rest evening as I spent the whole evening reading other than doing my dishes after dinner, and apparently, my body was needing that.

I'm still dragging, though. Vacation can't get here fast enough!

I got another hour elliptical session in this morning and this evening is jiu-jitsu, though that's always a toss up as to how much activity I'm actually getting there. I'm debating on whether to do a lunch time cardio session; we'll see when lunch time gets here.

Good luck to you, @NovusDies - and hope you have fun with it! I need to mow grass here at the house tomorrow, dig out the hedge trimmer and attack the japanese knotweed on the bank between me and the neighbor and me and my grandfather's property beside me and see if the tips I read online for controlling the stuff works. I also need to vacuum my house if I don't get it done today, and then perhaps take dinner to the parents' camp and mow there tomorrow evening.

So my weekend is going to be busy too!