itsmegina
Weigh in day: Saturday
PW: 147
CW: 146.8

I will be out of town next week away from my scale until Sunday so I’ll be a day late weighing in, FYI 🙂

Have a great weekend, everyone!

Hi guys! ***LONG WHINEY POST***

I just need to get some stuff off my chest - it's been a rough weeks/months. As I've mentioned before work has been crazy. We recently went through an acquisition so it has been a constant stream of stuff to do as a new employee with the new company. One of the things is a health assessment online and I did it on Friday. Ugh. So essentially you answer all of these questions about your health, how active you are, your eating habits, mental health, blah, blah, blah...all that good stuff. You put in your height, weight, your last BP, last A1C - the last time you have seen a doctor... Anyway, when you push the final button at the end, it tells you what your "age" is based on all that information. OMG, it felt like I had been punched in the gut. 67. This survey told me I was 20 years older than what I am. I just wanted to cry. This year I have made such good changes - since July I've lost 44.2 pounds - I've been more aware of the role that mental health plays in my physical health - I've been eating less - I've been eating better - I've cut out alcohol (not like I drank much anyway) - I fit into my favorite jean capris that at the beginning of summer I couldn't even get them around my fat stomach (and now, I don't even have to unbutton and unzip them to take them off and they fall down when I walk). But none of that factored in to that stupid assessment. The other thing that I didn't like about this assessment is that it didn't really take the pandemic into account - so that sucked. Also, it didn't ask when specifically my last labs were taken - and if I had made changes since those labs.

In determining that I am 67, part of what screwed me over is that I don't exercise, I am diabetic (controlled by diet), I have arthritis, my BMI is off the charts and I don't eat enough veggies. OK - some of those things can be fixed and are being worked on (some more easily than others). So that leads me to the next part... My weight has been stalling this last week and it's annoying. I have lost all of my weight just by changing what I eat. I did do some walking over the summer (very little) - and when I did...holy crap did I gain weight! So I stopped. It gets frustrating to try something new and see that I gain weight. It really messes with my head. I am not able to get to the gym because of COVID. I'm not one to do weights, it's just not my thing. So yeah, nothing is happening. And, to be honest, I'm just too afraid to do anything - and maybe still too lazy - and, I just don't know what to do. Now, moving on to the food and weight issue, I get frustrated when I do what I am supposed to be doing and then suddenly I gain weight or I stop losing weight. I just wish I knew what was going on with my body and what specifically my body needs. UGH!!!! Anyway, what I finally did, after spending WEEKS of thinking about it, I bought a set of kettlebells - should be here tomorrow. I have no idea what I'm going to do with them yet, I'll figure it out when it gets here. But I know that I have to do something - I'm hoping that adding in some physical activity will help the scale move, and in the right direction.

So maybe all of this adds to why I don't come here and comment like I'd like - I feel like I need to hide behind the scenes for a while, until I can feel a sense of control. So I'm going to try and do better. Oh - and I can promise you, that the next time I do lab work again, I will do this damn assessment again and maybe then my age will come down, even a little bit. And maybe I'll be able to say I'm physically active too, that will help.

Anyway, I think I've made up for lost time...sorry for the long post. I hope you guys had a great weekend. Here's to a great week everyone!