Feb totals: 63.3/110 miles

2/1: 4.5 miles
2/2: 7.6 miles
2/4: 4.4 miles
2/5: 9 miles
2/7: 4.6 miles
2/8: 5.6 miles
2/9: 3 miles
2/11: 6.4 miles
2/12: 10 miles
2/14: 5.2 miles
2/15: 3 miles

I was scheduled for 400 m repeats but I knew my legs didn't have it in them today. Instead I went to a trail that goes around this lake in the back of the neighborhood. I would describe today's run as slard - slow and hard. I'm still glad I went out and experienced the trail and listened to how I was feeling. Skipping speed work was the right call.

Feb goal: 100 km

2/2: 8 km
2/4: 5.1 km
2/5: 12.1 km
2/9: 7.3 km
2/11: 5.7 km
2/14: 13.8 km
2/16: 8.1 km

Total: 60.1 km

Nice running and everyone - even the slard runs are runs. Those are probably the hardest.

Thanks so much for all of the support and suggestions everyone. I'm so glad I am part of such a supportive group of awesome people. I love the idea @Tramboman that my mojo is just hiding from me and I'll find it again eventually. I'm thinking about wunning when I feel like it and have time, and walking when I don't, for the rest of this month and then see where I am. I had a good cry yesterday about all the things I am stressing about and have going on. That helped my mood a lot. I didn't get home until 7:00 last night, so walked only 1 mile on the treadmill. I am really glad that I have this streak going to help push myself to do something on days I'd rather lay on the couch and eat chocolate.

Beautiful picture of the moon @kgirlhart .

@Aine8046 Beautiful picture. Is that on your running route?

Two runs since last check in. First one was a trail run and since we planned to run easy, didn’t take medication, just relied on my watch and moderated running speed to keep my heart low. Very pleasant run, did 5k, little walk break, then an additional mile with no problems. Hoping to gradually return to doing 10k easy trail runs without heart issues.

Today was the moment of truth - one quarter dose beta blockers, would it work to keep my heart from going into supra-ventricular tachycardia without making it impossible for me to run fast by suppressing my heart rate? If you haven’t been following my medical drama, last week I tried half a dose and found that I wasn’t able to increase my heart rate above 138, which limited me to an easy pace and meant I found myself dropping to a walk on hills. Plus, afterwards, my legs felt trashed for two days due to lactic acid buildup due to lack of oxygen.

Today I tried half of half a dose. And… better. Not perfect by any means but I was able to push my pace a little bit, only had to drop to a walk twice, and my heart stayed steady. I was able to get it up to 154 which isn’t really high enough to sprint hard but is enough for a brief sprint at threshold pace and to get up and down hills without feeling like I’m dying. The main problem I still have is that my heart is constantly running a little slower than the demands on it, so if I get into an oxygen deficit, it’s not easy to climb back out. Can’t just slow down for a while to recover then start running hard again, I have to drop to a walk. But I think it’s possible that my body will adjust to this over time. And it felt SAFE pushing myself, which is something that hasn’t been true since this started in October. So, cautiously optimistic. I’m not going to be running at my previous race pace anytime soon, but I feel like I can return to training and improving.

Nice weather btw, 73 degrees (actually a little warm) but with crazy high winds.

We passed a tiny little boy learning to ride without training wheels for the first time. He had just turned his wheel too far and toppled, and his mom was helping him back up. We saw the fall from a distance and were expecting tears as we passed since he skinned his poor little arm, but his face was radiant! “I’m riding my bike!” he yelled as we went past, and my husband yelled, “I see that! You’re doing such a good job!” Such a happy little boy, he made my day!