Tomorrow, I’m heading to Boston for a few days to help my mother and son with a couple of things. Last week, my mother was almost the victim of a scam. Someone called her and said he was with one of her grandsons and that he had been arrested for driving under the influence of alcohol. It was not true but she thought they used my nephew’s name and put him on the phone. The person was crying and said they needed $7,500 for bail and he didn’t want to tell his parents. My mother, who rarely leaves her house, cleaned up her car which typically sits in front of her house unused (except when my brother or I use it while visiting), drove to the bank, and withdrew the money. Generally, that’s about as much money as she has in the account, and I’m a little surprised she even had enough there to cover the scam amount!

Luckily, she couldn’t find the number she was supposed to call once she withdrew the money, so she called my nephew’s cellphone number in a panic, saying something like: “[Grandson’s name], I have your money. I got it all so you can pay your fine and get out.” My nephew asked her what money she was talking about and reassured her that he didn’t ask for - or need - any money. He called my sister, and explained what a rough day my mother had — a trip to the grocery store is exhausting for her on a good day and she really only moves from the bed or chair in one room to the adjacent kitchen and bathroom - so this was a big effort! She has a lot of anxiety already and was clearly stressed, so my sister waited until her scheduled visit the next day to take the money back to the bank and deposit it.

My sister already does so much to support my mother so we’ll need to reassess her care needs. I was planning to help her with some finance, taxes, and writing some cards she wanted to send to her grandchildren with gifts when I talked to her on Friday night (the day after the troubling events). However, she didn’t share what happened with the (nearly successful) scam attempt. My sister said our mother is probably too embarrassed and didn’t want to tell her/my sister either (except that her son was brought into the situation through the scam). My mother recognized that she should talk to my brother, who is a police detective, since he can help her file a police report, but she said she doesn’t want ‘to have to listen to him.” 🙈🙉🙈

So, I hope she shares the story with me once I get to her house tomorrow and lets me help her track the number of the person who called so we can file a fraud report with the police, etc. We have definitely entered a new phase of support for my mother and her aunt who lives across the street. My aunt lives alone and is fiercely independent but has been more confused lately. She fell last month and a police officer came to my mother’s house to let her know an ambulance was on the way. My aunt was walking to the vet with her cat and the officer said a woman found her between two cars. My aunt said she was not knocked unconscious (but we suspect she was) but, because was bleeding from the head, the officer wanted her to be evaluated and called the ambulance. My mother called my brother and he rearranged his work schedule (e.g., canceled court appearances) to check on my aunt. They needed to keep her for observation so he arranged to pick her up later that evening.

He’s a high school hockey coach so he went to his practice or game and then got her something to eat, etc. He and my sister both offered to stay overnight with her but she adamantly opposed their suggestions. I think my brother set her up to sleep on her sofa downstairs but we worry about her living alone because her bathroom and bedroom are in the second floor and she has a lot of ear problems that could pose balance problems.

Sorry for the long message. I didn’t plan to get into the story about my aunt. 🙄 … So, I’ll at least spare you the details of how I’ll be supporting my son over the next couple of days that I’ll be in Boston! I better get some work done now before my trip. Thanks for offering a space for me to process my emotions and prioritize the tasks ahead so I don’t sabotage the healthier eating habits I’m trying to build! Best wishes for the coming week, Shape Shifters!

Card for today