2023: Envision where you want to be: Focus on health, energy, vitality!
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Thank you both! I honestly did not expect to ever get this far. I have really been in denial about how much the excess weight was affecting me, and I do think being able to do these things like the hangs is purely down to having less bodyweight to lift (and some work of course, but I did work on strength before). I still have a lot of spare fat hanging about. I say loose skin, but mostly it's loose skin still filled with fat, ha ha! Especially on my legs and hips. But health-wise, at least it's down there and not around my middle. I still have some round my waist, but not nearly as much as before.
It's warmer weather here now, so have been eating a LOT of salads. Living mainly off salad vegetables, some chicken and humous! So no cooking! I buy some pre-prepared salad too. The supermarket has something called "coleslaw mix" which is the vegetables with the mayo separate to make at home, so I just buy it for the veg and do my own dressing. Kind of lazy, but I've been finding having pre-prepared stuff really stops me snacking when I'm making a meal, or giving in because I can't wait for it to cook!0 -
They sell something here called “broccoli slaw” that I’ve used in a quick stir fry with chicken. I’m all for the quick prep for cooking. I get so tired of planning meals, cooking, cleaning up. I swear I could just eat salad every night but I don’t think my husband would go for that. He’s a meat and potatoes guy. Although, I claimed a victory when he actually ate grilled zucchini the other night. Grilled in my ninja cooker!!! Love that thing!
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I turned 62 yesterday. Still not even close to my health and weight goals. I’m so disappointed in myself.2
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Awww Suzy..... first off i'm sorry i missed your birthday - i hope you were able to spend some time with your family and friends for it?
I can honestly say i have had many a birthday where i wasnt even close either with either area.. and god knows i still have a long way to go to get to mine (which also won't be close by my birthday either)..
I know it can be rough realizing you aren't where you want to be for yourself.. lord knows i've eaten my misery many many times over the years so please know we can empathize with how you're feeling right now..
But i don't want you to forget the things you HAVE accomplished for yourself this year - in spite of some major huge life stresses like moving, surgery on your hand, foot injury, new grandbaby etc etc.. in spite of all that, you have challenged yourself to join some clubs, made new friends, tried new things, got all your bloodwork and tests done for a baseline even though you really didnt want to you overcame that fear and did it.. you have been a lifeline for others including your niece and your daughter and grandchildren and your parents.. and I would be you have made some better food choices while dealing with all that.. and you bought your ninja cooker to help with that.. We are far more than a number on the scale and its so easy for us to forget that when we're feeling discouraged...
you have had very little time to devote to you this past year . you have had to give to everyone else (and yes its all very well to say we have to make ourselves a priority.. and i do believe that.. but the truth is for women.. it can't always be that way... it's just what we do and how we are wired.. so i just would like you to take a few minutes and acknowledge to yourself all the wonderful and positive things you HAVE accomplished since your last birthday... and how much you have helped others with everything you give.
And so for this year... my birthday wish for you ... is that you may find you finally have some time to step back a bit for a little while and allow yourself to look after you. I realize that's not always in our control as I said above. but that's my wish for you - that things settle enough so that you can take care of you. Hugs Snooozie2 -
suzyqholland wrote: »I turned 62 yesterday. Still not even close to my health and weight goals. I’m so disappointed in myself.
Aww, I'm just off to bed but just saw this. Happy Birthday! You have achieved so much! I look up to you in all sorts of ways ... please don't be disappointed in yourself. I agree with everything Snoozie said. Yes, look after you * hugs*1 -
I hope you're getting a different slant on things now, Suzy. And no doubt busy with grandchildren and stuff! You are amazing. The way you've dealth with various injuries and pain, parents, house moves, grandchildren, hiking, all the activities you do, there is no way I could keep up with you! And you say about not achieving your goals, but maybe the goals are wrong? I know you do cook and eat healthily, and exercise, and maybe the goal could be just doing that, 90% of the time? It must be much more difficult with somebody else to cook for, and your busy lifestyle. I really do look up to you.
I've been posting here about my achievements, just because I want to be positive and motivated. But I have questioned myself a lot too. It's all about health for me, and I know that, but if I'm honest, I'm really a bit upset about my loose skin, and I hate that it feels self-inflicted. I'm really annoyed at myself that I ever let myself get to to morbidly obese (or even overweight, to be honest). None of my friends have ever been close to the size I was and they look great at my age or older. Meanwhile, it's summer and I have to cover up because I don't want to inflict my body on anyone else! My thighs are pretty horrific. I'm not going to have surgery so will have to live with it. And it's not just putting the weight on, it's the fact that I have been on MFP all these years and it's taken me this long to lose it.
But anyway, saying all that to say that, like you, I feel so disappointed with myself for letting that happen. But, there were reasons, and I think we've got to have some compassion for ourselves. And look at what we have achieved, even if it can feel a bit ephemeral.1 -
Why are we so hard on ourselves? We’re so critical of our own bodies but don’t see those same things in others. I think Snoozie said once that we should talk to ourselves the same way we would talk to a good friend. That’s so true. I’m still disappointed in myself but I know that it’s up to me to change things and that I CAN do it. Vail, I often wonder what I’ll look like once I lose all my weight. How much loose skin will I have and will it prevent me from wearing the clothes I hope to wear or do the things I hope to do. I guess I’ll just have to lose the weight and find out. I bet the surgery to remove it is painful and expensive but the positive health effects from losing the weight aren’t affected by the loose skin. I’m betting that you look fabulous, Vail and feeling better is so worth it.
I’ve been so busy. My brother, his wife and my sister all flew into town for my parent’s 73rd anniversary this past weekend. I dropped them at the airport this afternoon and I’m exhausted. It was a very busy weekend. Tomorrow is MY day. I told my husband that I’m not even leaving the house. I’m sleeping in, watching some tv and taking it easy.
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It sounds like you really need an easy day. You are supposed to be retired! I remember one thing that stuck with me from when I was doing heavy lifting was a talk saying that as you get older you need more and more rest and recovery. And I think that applies all over. Getting the rest is not an indulgence, it's part of looking after your health. And just the fact that you are having to schedule in a day to watch a bit of TV and stay at home shows how busy you have been!
I agree, Snoozie is absolutely right about thinking about it as if we were our own friend. We need to have compassion for ourselves. I think there are always reasons behind what we see as our failings.
I don't want to risk surgery (and couldn't afford it anyway), so I'm stuck with my results. It's really not very noticeable with clothes on. I couldn't wear a bikini or swimming costume which is a pain, because my thighs are the worst. But I was carrying a lot of weight on my thighs and I'm sure I remember in photos of you that you had much slimmer legs than me. I did accidently flash my tummy in public the other day. I was tucking in a shirt or something! I don't actually mind it too much myself, but just don't want it on public view! I'm kind of morbidly fascinated by the changes and I tell myself that the more change and loose skin, the more successful I've been.
So now I have reached another couple of milestones. Into a new stone category (weight in stones and pounds), which is the category my goal/original weight is in. And down another dress size. I have been spending a fortune on clothes!
I went to see the Eurovision band that I talked about, Lord of the Lost. I can't even describe the experience. It feels like it has changed my life! I have seen lots of live music over the years, but nothing anywhere close to that. The people waiting with me in the queue to get in have all tracked each other down on social media and we are feeling the same. Can't sleep, in turmoil. It was truly incredible!
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Suzy I hope you are still in your pajamas as i write this (i am in mine!) I definitely have my "me" days.. and I def think we need to schedule in that time for ourselves to rest and recharge when life gets hectic! That was so cool they all came in for your parents anniversary but sounds exhausting just listening to it!
Vail - i can totally relate to the skin thing.. its SO weird.. i am more self conscious about what i call the "weight wrinkles" than i ever figured i would be! its most especially noticeable on my tummy and thighs and upper arms ... and to be honest i hate it.. go figure eh... but also have turkey wobble thing too now under my chin.. lol... this is gonna sound weird and prolly tmi.. but with all the .. i dunno.. folds?? skin sagging? whatever u call it... even shaving my armpits now i have to hold the skin taut with one hand and shave with the other cause otherwise all the excess skin gets in the way.. i know kinda gross.. but its a weird thing i noticed with the skin sags happening everywhere.
But it is what it is.. and i've never worn a bikini in my life so im not worried about that lol.. i do however.. wear longer bermuda shorts out in public now.. i didnt used to care when i was overweight cause things were big but firm... so to speak... so i would wear any shorts for my walks. That said tho.. i've never been comfortable in sleeveless shirts at any time... and now with all the sagging skin on my upper arms its worse but ya know what.. i truly dont care about that anymore.. i really dont... i have worn sleeveless now to patios and get togethers with friends when its really hot and i will continue to do so.. its taken a few months to kinda accept that the saggies are there to stay.. but other than the longer shorts, i've accepted it lol.. i kinda like being this age in some ways cause i have found one benefit is i don't really care any more about what others might think... and i have stopped asking myself "are they looking at my saggy arms" that kind of thing.. cause i just dont care lol. so i do like the freedom in that i must say!
I'm going to post a couple of pics from our latest retiree group outings.. we do a weekly walk during this nice weather along with our other restaurant and coffee meet ups.. and i snapped a couple of cute pics at the last one so i'll throw them up later just for a laugh..0 -
Vail that is SO cool about the eurovision concert!! SO glad you went and what an amazing once in a lifetime experience!!! awesome!0
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I love the photos, Snoozie! I think I'm even starting to recognise a couple of faces!
Yes, the concert was amazing. I've seen them three times now, and booked to see them later in the year. I even paid a fortune to go and see them support Iron Maiden. So funny, there was just me with my Lord of the Lost t-shirt in a sea of Iron Maiden fans! There's actually a video where you can see a bit of me in the audience, I'll see if I can post a link. I'm the short, excited one with glasses! There's a little bit of them as support at about 12 minutes in and you can see me, I'm right in front of the singer when he climbs on the barrier. https://youtu.be/uOzdiC0_lZ4?t=742 . Ther's so much I could tell you about these experiences but I think it would be boring for anyone not a fan. But wow. It has felt rejuvenating for me. And it has been nice hanging out with fans who are mostly younger than me (as well as some in their 60s). I have met the band as well and they are lovely.
Not all their music is heavy like this. The singer is a classical cellist. Here's a nice video of a song they did with a seniors choir https://youtu.be/Pi059WTRmoc. They are just amazing. I have just been talking to other people who went to see them for the first time, and they had the same experience as me, knew it was going to be really good but did not expect it to be quite so phenomenal, and they all say it's the best live gig they've ever been to! I must stop telling people before all their tickets sell out!
Everything else wise, I've been doing a bit of work with a local group on improving our community orchard and garden, and clearing Himalayan Balsam which is taking over. I'm thinking of doing a bit more volunteer work on conservation stuff. I used to do that years ago. It's finding the time when I'm still working part-time, I seem to need my days off for various things!
I'm still concentrating on eating healthily and haven't been too bad except for when I went to those gigs and was too excited to eat! I've been in the office more at work, so have got out of the routine of exercising in my lunch break - I need to make sure I'm getting enough exercise in.
I hope you're OK. You both have a busy summer!
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Vail are you in the front row... to the right of the 2 guys talking.. ? i watched the video like 3 times lol.. looking directly in front of the box the singer jumps on.. from about 11:46 to 12:45 or so .. i THINK i saw you.. !! and i LOVED the song with the senior choir.. wow a few of them are very senior indeed so god bless em all!
I don't know why it surprizes me you're into heavy metal lol.. i did have an iron maiden album (yes an LP) AT some point... in my Ktel record collector.. i LOVE that you are so enjoying the events and as you said, hanging with some younger folk is always good for the soul! and yes the prob with spreading the word... can make it hard to get tickets the more who know!
That is way cool on the work on your community garden... i can't even imagine how hard it is to carve out time when youre still working part time! I've been wobbling a bit with my eating.. stupid i know and i just had to do my 3 month blood work after coming off all the meds... im a little nervous because i was sort of stupid thinking in my head hey i can eat anything now.. i've been reining myself in a good bit but i have to say the food events with the retirees .. omg.. our theme is around the world so we've been going to different restaurants like Thai, Korean, Mexican, Peruvian, etc.. next week is Filipino; i don't want to not go cause they are events for our group... but lordy.. its hard to not eat everything in sight on those days!0 -
I'm in the second row! The light shines on me when he climbs the barrier at about 14.04
https://youtu.be/uOzdiC0_lZ4?t=844 and you can see me a couple of times earlier too. You can actually see me walk into the arena but difficult to spot. I'm also in a couple of Lord of the Lost tour diary videos, and in the background of an interview when I was queuing. And in various fan videos! I'm usually quite easy to spot as I am much shorter than everyone else!
That's really difficult with your round the world meetings. I have the same feeling meeting friends, that I just don't want to do food as I know I will eat more than I should and it's fine if it's a couple of times a year but if it's a regular thing, it doesn't take much to throw us off track. I sometimes wish we had more non-eating events. I'm going to see some live music with friends soon and thought that was great but now we are meeting for a meal before it as well. And I know I could just not eat, but I will eat!
Things have been a bit off track for me with my busy life, but so far not regaining and mostly eating healthily. Did I mention that I got into a new "stone" category? I think I did. The other thing is that my comfortable dress size is now a UK 8 (US 4), single figures! This is very much vanity sizing as I used to be a 12 I think when I was young and slim. I also bought some t-shirts from Europe and the XS (US XXS) fits me best. All these sizes sound tiny to me! And I'm definitely not tiny, still at the upper end of a healthy BMI range and trying to get to about the middle. But it's still satisfying for me to see the numbers, even though I know it's just because I'm short. I was a size 22-24 when I started.
Yes, the loose skin is weird, and yes, I have some under my arms, and everywhere really. Worst on my legs. And like you, Snoozie, I would feel much happier going out and showing fat legs, I mean fat legs look fine and normal! The loose skin looks a bit strange. The other weird thing, is that apart from the loose skin, I'm getting really bony. I now have quite prominent collar bones, ribs, etc, much more than I did when I was younger and slimmer.1 -
Oh, I've just realised I've hit 90 pound lost! I had previously maintained at 60 pounds lost. I'm curious to see if it's much harder to maintain this loss, or if there isn't much difference.
So currently I have lost about 72% of my current bodyweight. So about three quarters of what I weigh now, I was carrying in extra fat. That boggles my mind.1 -
omg Vail.... i am stunned at your success... seriously what an amazing transformation!!!!! HUGE CONGRATS on such a monumental achievement my friend!!!
HA! my second choice as to which one was you WAS THE RIGHT ONE!! i watched the first video a few times .. but missed the reference u made to "im the short one" at first!! I saw you now.. LOTS!!! HOW VERY COOL!!!
and congrats too on going to the shows and stepping out of your comfort zone at first ... only to find out you LOVE IT!! a great lesson for us all!!
One of the women in my retiree group did the "Edgewalk" today to celebrate her 75th birthday.. i don't know if you have heard of the CN Tower here in Toronto, but you can walk OUTSIDE the very top and hang off the edge...LOL.. better her than me but omg what an inspiration and reminder sometimes the only limits we put on ourselves are in our heads not our bodies!
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Vail, you blow me away! What an incredible achievement! I love how excited you are with the live band. Good for you for getting out there and following your passion. You are living your best life, girl!
The edgewalk looks amazing but I’m not sure that I could do that myself. Lol. Good for her, though!
Snoozie, I love the around the world theme. I enjoy trying different foods and I’ll try (almost) anything once. Unfortunately, my husband isn’t as adventurous. I wonder how everyone would like adding in something unique from each country, like a craft or folktale or some traditional dance or song. I’d love to be in a club like that. I think it’s great that you organize all that. (Love the photo of the ladies in the big chair by the way!)
Speaking of clearing things out of the garden, I have some weeds that are taking over and have to get out there and dig them all up. I absolutely hate yard work. Good on you for helping with the community garden, Vail.
I’ve been helping with the grandkids five days a week and they come over to my house on weekends sometimes. I’m exhausted. I’ve told my daughter that I’m going to cut back to three days a week. She’s just so grateful that I come over at all. I need to start going to see my parents every week again. So that will leave me one weekday to do what I need to do for me. Luckily my volunteer work has been on a break for summer. We have our big fundraiser on August 12th, so I’ll be busy with that for a day or two. We’re driving out to Colorado in September for a couple weeks. I’ve always wanted to go and we’ll be halfway there for a wedding in Kansas City, so why not?
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Wow, Suzy, that's a LOT of time to be helping with the grandkids! You are meant to be retired! Be careful you don't burn yourself out. I don't even have grandkids yet but have told my son in advance that I don't think I can do five days a week. I'm glad you're able to cut back and have some plans for fun stuff too, like the Colorado trip.
Oh my goodness, Snoozie, your friend hanging off that building! I don't think my heart could take that, ha ha! But well done her. It must have been exhilarating! And I think maybe it's good for us to still feel those sorts of things?
Yes, I'm short which has always been an issue at gigs, and that's why I've had to be so close to the front to see. For all these gigs, I was queueing for hours outside just to get to the front. I was with friends for the other ones, but for this one my friends couldn't queue early enough so I was on my own. But it turned out at this one there had been a competition for early access, so a lot of people who had won got in first. The only reason I was so close to the front was because a guy in front of me took pity on my and pushed me in front of him!
I stayed at the front for Iron Maiden and at the end the crowd surged forward and I got crushed and had to be pulled out. I'm still bruised. That was slightly scary as a short person as you can't see what's going on!
And thank you both for your comments. Most of the people I know don't struggle with their weight at all (I have just one friend who does) but I know you understand what a slog it is trying to lose weight and keep it off. I know this is a work in progress and I'm going to have to maintain for ever so trying to make the most of celebrating what I can!
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So, the past week has been quite difficult. My mom ended up in the hospital a week ago today. She had a stroke and aspirated when she vomited. She was unresponsive for almost two days and then started slowly coming back to us. Her ability to swallow is compromised and she is still aspirating some when she eats and drinks. She has a living will that says she does not want any type of feeding tube down her throat, she’s DNR and DNI. Anyway, after five days in the hospital we had her discharged into hospice care. She’s at the assisted living facility where they live. Miraculously, she’s doing pretty good. She has some cognitive issues and has to eat puréed food and drink thickened liquids. We don’t know what’s going to happen. Just taking it day by day.
I stayed in town with my sister the whole time and am now glad to be back in my own home. I’ll go down there once or twice a week to see them but I can’t be there all the time. I have my life to take care of as well. My siblings that live out of state have not been very supportive and are questioning everything we do, being snippy and rude. I’m worn out, physically, mentally and emotionally.
I took today off completely. I did absolutely nothing for anybody except me! I watched some tv, did a little laundry and hung out by the pool and read. It was a glorious day! Tomorrow I’m driving down to spend the day with mom and dad.
One of these days, my life is going to calm down and be my own again. I know that some type of exercise would help with all this stress but I just don’t have the energy or time right now.0 -
I'm so sorry, Suzy. That sounds so difficult, both the worry about your mother and preparing for possible outcomes, and the expectations and lack of support from other family members. I can't believe they have the cheek to be rude and questioning when you're the one there dealing with it all!
I'm glad you had a day off, but one day isn't much with all you have going on. Please look after yourself too, and when it gets too much you just have to have a break. I know I keep saying it, but there's a reason for retirement, because the level of work and stress you can cope with when you're younger is too much now. I agree with you about the exercise. It sounds like you're at the point where it is just going to be an extra demand to fit it in, when you are being demanded in other ways left, right and centre. It's more destress time that you need, I think.
Best wishes to your mother. It sounds like she is in the right place, and great that she's doing so well despite everything and managing to eat and drink. Maybe you can step back a bit while she's being well looked after? Sending virtual hugs and thinking of you, Suzy.1
