I'm am SO loving the energy in this group. I'm not logging on often enough. But I'll keep you updated about the family situation.
Jim (brother in law) is still in limbo. Hasn't fully awakened yet. Vitals, scans, MRI and other tests are good and things are very, very slowly improving. I dont' have much knowledge of strokes, but what I've learned in the last 10 days is that it's a slow, slow process. The doctors are being very careful in bringing him to the surface to avoid any more damage. He's still intubated and taking baby steps toward consciousness. The brain has to heal and that's what they're letting it do. My biggest concern right now is some kind of weird hospital-based infection. I hear about it all the time. Hospitals are the worst place to be if you're vulnerable and have a compromised immune system.
Anyway ... I'm proving as much comfort to my sister-in-law as I can. She's my best friend and we don't have any problem communicating. She has been over for much needed rest and a few meals. Since I'm becoming such a health freak lately, she has no choice but to eat properly at my house. It may include a few glasses of wine but that's okay ... right? I mean!! We gotta relax a bit!!! ;-)
I finally got off my ever-expanding butt today and took a good 2-mile walk with my dog. Afterward did some light strength training (crunches, leg kicks, very mild squats so I don't hurt my poor knee). And I feel good. My goal is 4 days a week of this and then increase to some more intense movement after a few weeks. My calorie intake is good and I'm getting excellent nutrition on my new kidney-friendly diet.
Just have to keep the stress intact ... and you ladies are helping with that.
Thank you for your good wishes and prayers. It means more than you know.
Have a great Monday!!!
Julie

Hello Ladies, I don't know if I will fit in or not but I am a Widow. I am 34 years old with 2 sons (9 & 5). I lost my husband of 13 years last September to a 3 1/2 year batte with Liposarcoma cancer. I have known that I need to lose some weight for several years. It just seems to have kept creeping up on me. Dr appointment this week and was stressed that I need to lose some weight as my liver enzymes are way out of wack. I do take a cholestrol med (linked to hypothyroid - meds too) and that could be part of the problem, but need to get the weight under control to find out for sure. I have about 70-80 pounds to lose. I joined a long time ago and did not stick with it. Friend mentioned an app for this site and now I have been on here for the last couple of days.

I hope I am not crashing the "party" but didn't really feel like any of the single parent boards were for me yet.

Hi Beckster! I'm pretty new to this group also. It's a nice place to be. I'm very sorry for the loss of your husband. Like the others, I'm a widow also. I lost my husband of 26 years last October. Just passed the 6-month mark. Not an easy journey. But these ladies will help us, right?
That said ... my birthday was yesterday and I have been a very naughty girl. My BFF and I went out for Mexican food and ate every single bite of the cheesy, beany, fried tortilla stuffed with seafood goodness. AND a bottle of wine.
Then today someone brought me the best cupcake I've ever had in my life. It was chocolate with salted caramel icing. I'm pretty sure I'm in love with that cupcake. It made me a little too happy.
I'll be back on track tomorrow ... right now I'm enjoying the pleasure of enjoying food. If I don't lose weight this week, that will just have to be okay. I'm not even gonna try to track what I've put in my body the last two days. I'm not sure the calorie counter goes up that high.
For those keeping score ... my brother in law is improving. He's becoming more alert and staying "awake" for longer periods. Recovery is happening and we couldn't be happier. Breathing a little easier right now.
Have a good Thursday.
Welcome again Beckster!

JulieGo, So glad to hear the news about your brother-in-law. I know recovery from this type of thing can be slow and hard to deal will. I will continue to keep you all in my prayers and please continue to update us.

As for celebrating your birthday, I say GOOD FOR YOU! It sounds like you have a great attitude about it.....eat, enjoy, no guilt, then back on track. I, for one, see nothing wrong with that! I have done similar things and have been okay. I say, if I'm going to feel horrible about eating something, that just ruins the experience, so I don't. If I eat, I enjoy, and then get back on track the next day....or so. lol Just don't make it a habit.

Heyjudev13, Welcome! So glad you have joined our little group. I think you will find some good support here. So sorry to hear about your losses. When you have more than one in a short period, it just compounds the grief. I'm not sure if I had posted this or not, but my husband died of a primary brain cancer. Way too much cancer in this world....any cancer is too much, if you ask me. So, I really feel for you and will be here for you.

What age do you teach? About 8 months after John died, I started volunteering at a local school. Being around the kids was the best medicine for me, especially the little ones. I'd always get group hugs from the Kindergartners and that would lift my spirits. I know being a teacher, you may not get a lot of hugs, but I hope you get one every once in a while. I now am a substitute teacher and some of the days can be trying, to say the least. :laugh: But I still get hugs and love it when the students are disappointed that I'm not going to be their substitute.

So glad you have decided to start a healthier life style. Let us know how we can help. As I have said before, joining MFP and this group are great first steps and you have to start somewhere. Good luck and let us know how you are doing.

heyjudev: You do become a pretty good actress at times like these. I was fortunate, in a way, because I was retired when my husband died and did not have to face people if I didn't feel like it. I really don't think I could have worked, but I guess I would have found a way, because we do do what has to be done, somehow.

I can understand how "seconds" seem sadder. Like you said, there is a numbness in the beginning that helps us cope. When that ebbs, then reality sets in. Hang in there. It does get better. I don't think "it" ever completely goes away, but you will learn how to live with your grief and incorporate it, and the life you had together, into your new reality.

I have step-children who were older when I got married, so they never lived with us. But, we have a great relationship and they both have children. We don't get to see each other very often because they live in FL and I live in TN. His daughter had a baby 3 years ago and is having another in a couple of months. I believe with all of my heart that he was there when she was born and continues to watch over her. I fully expect the same will happen when the new one arrives.

I don't know if you still have your husbands clothes or not. (I still have all of mine and it's been 6 years. I just can't stand the thoughts of an empty closet....we had his and her's closets.) If you do, you may want to do something similar to what I did for the grand-daughter, and am going to do for the new arrival, for your grandson. I took one of his shirts and made a bunting from an old pattern I had. I really don't think the daughter used it because she thought it was too big, but she loved the idea and was touched by the gift. So, for the new grand-daughter, I am going to use another of his shirts and make a little dress for her to wear. I just feel like when she wears it, it will be like he IS getting to "hold" her.

BTW, congratulations on the 12 pounds lost so far. That's wonderful. Are you able to find time to exercise? I hope you can. That will not only help you loose weight, but also improve your emotional state and give you more energy.

Hope everyone has had a wonderful Easter day and will have a good week.

Hello Everyone! Hope you all had a great Easter. I was blessed to spend it with my parents and brother and sister and their families. I have probably been a little hasty in getting rid of some of my husband's clothes, but it has helped me. I had each of my boys pick out a shirt that they remember their dad in and my friend's mom made each of them a Teddy Bear from that shirt. They call them their Daddy Bears. My husband also had a pair of footie-pjs that he lived in! This gal also made 3 more bears from these and so I was able to give one to his brother and his mom and I have one too. I really want to learn to sew and some day be able to make these for other families. If you do sew and want the pattern I will ask to see what it is.

As far as eating went for the weekend, I know I over ate but I think I have done way worse in the past so hopefully that is a little progress.

Becky

Happy Friday Girls! Hopefully it has not been a Scary Friday the 13th! I have a busy weenend with my son in a 3-on-3 basketball tournament in the morning. I need to do some laundry and clean my house in the afternoon. Sunday I have someone that bought my King size bed coming to get it. Yeah! Have a Queen bed just waiting to be used. And just like that the weekend is going to be over. I hope I can find a few breaths to relax a little this weekend. Tonight is looking like a good time. Raining outside and nothing on the agenda. A little quality time with my boys....great way to end the week.

Eating wise I think I have done really well. I figured calories for almost every meal this week BEFORE I ate it. GO ME! Hope this continues. I really enjoyed see the scale report a 4 lb loss for the first week. Great motivation. Trying not to dwell on the glaring fact that I was really eat so out of control.

Quilteryoyo: I will ask my friend for that pattern and get it to you.

Have a great weekend! :happy:

JulieGo, I'm glad things are going better for your family, but sorry it is going to be such a long and slow recovery. That will be hard on all concerned. It sounds like you are handling things well and are a great support for your sister-in-law. She is so lucky to have you!

You're recipes sound wonderful. Made me hungry just reading about them.

You said you were losing weight slowly....that's what you want to do. You'll be much more likely to keep it off if you make lifestyle changes, that result in slow loss, which can be maintained for the rest of your life. And, that sounds like exactly what you are doing. Keep up the good work.

I have a friend coming over to run with me today. We plan on a 4 mile trek , so I'll be burning those calories!

Hope everyone has a great weekend.

I'm sorry you had a "lonely" weekend. We all have those times when we miss our spouses more and feel "lonely." Well, at least I do. Sometimes there's a particular reason you can put your finger on and sometimes there isn't. Usually when I have those days, I just can't get anything done. I have kept a journal every since my husband got sick and that has helped me tremendously. One such day I had intended to write I had been useless , but my pen wrote "usless." Every since then, I call those days my "us-less" days. Days when I just really miss being "us." So, take heart. You aren't alone in that one.

I think it is funny that you didn't put your weight in when you gained two pounds, because I did the exact same thing. I just didn't confess. :blushing: I am now back to where the tracker says, but that's a pound more than my lowest. But, I'm getting there. You can too!

I too hate how easy it is to put the weight on and hard to take it off. But, I really doubt that you ate enough actual food to gain those 2 pounds over the weekend, so chances are that a large portion of that is water weight. I know, it's still weight, but hopefully won't be quite as hard to get off as it was the first time. Just don't feel guilty about your weekend and then start splurging because you feel you have failed. You have NOT failed. You had a small setback. You're still 10 pounds down and that is amazing!!!

Keep up the good work and I hope you have a great week. That goes for everyone one here.

Welcome gtmcuzz! I am sorry you are finding us under these circumstances. I cannot imagine what you are going through. My husband was told in April of 2010 that he could not be cured of his cancer. We were able to keep him for another year and a half. While watching him slowing weaken was not easy, we did have time to talk about some things. Not as much as I would have liked. He didn't like talking about death because in his eyes, talkikng about it was admitting defeat to the cancer. He did not give up until the hospice worker walked in on Saturday. He was gone by Monday afternoon.

Welcome Again!

The pattern for the Teddy Bears is Simplicity 5461. These have been a God-send for my boys and I.

Welcome gtmcuzz. You're right about this being a sad group to join. But it's also a very positive group. It's nice because we've all been there and know what the other is feeling. Some for longer than others. I'm a newbie myself — losing my husband last October. Still lots of firsts for me.
Like today. I came down with a cold on Sunday. First cold I've had in years. And, I don't know about any of you, but I hate being alone when I'm sick. I'm getting used to being alone ... little by little ... but not while I'm sick. So I've been feeling very sorry for myself and trying to take care of myself when I used to count on my husband for that.
Which one of y'all wants to bring me some (low fat, low sodium) chicken soup?
I knew it. You'd do it if you could.
Anyway ... my nose is running and my tissues are in the other room.
More later when I'm not a big snot machine.
Julie

Hi ladies,
I'm feeling better. Thanks for the virtual chicken soup. To be honest, I ate like a horse yesterday and slept really well and today I'm almost over it. Sometimes our bodies simply tell us to slow down and take it easy. So I did.
I'm so proud of you quilteryoyo for running on your treadmill. I gave away my treadmill in January because I never used it. I like walking outside with my dog. And she's getting kind of antsy because I've been living like a mushroom for a few days. I'll give it a shot tomorrow.
Still dealing with my brother in law in the hospital. My sister in law is discouraged and depressed and I don't blame her. This thing is going to take a long, long time and patience isn't a virtue either one of has. Keep the prayers coming if you're so inclined.
I saw that some of you were discussing a teddy bear pattern that you've made. I've made that same one! Numerous times! Hard getting those little legs and arms on though.
Okay. Have a good Wednesday lovelies. I have work to do.

Just checking in before the weekend really hits. I'm getting ready to drive for 4 hours after school tomorrow to spend the weekend with one of my sons who is moving. I suspect I will be "the babysitter". As I drag out the suitcase and plan for what to take I think of the times when my husband and I used to make the trip. I am getting used to it but it just seems too much some times. I stop at the bank and get cash. I fill the car with gas. I mow the lawn before I go. I drive and drive and drive. I used to love to ride and ride and ride and we had such good talks in the car. Now I just remember.

I do appreciate hearing everyone's story. Some are truly tragic. My heart goes out to all of you, especially if your kids were young when you lost your husbands... life is not fair. Time does provide a layer of cushioning so it doesn't hurt quite so much.

I just had too much sugar... didn't mean to... cleaning out the console of the "traveling car"... someone had some candy stashed in there. I threw some away but not quite soon enough!!! Some of you are great "cheerleaders" for the cause of getting the pounds off and away. Thank you for that.