My Dating Tips!
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2. If the date is going well hell yes I want a kiss at the end. Don't push it, but don't leave me hanging either! Almost all my friends are guys so if I go out to dinner with a guy or something and he doesn't really make it feel like a date, he WILL get friend zoned. Sorry, just how it goes.
3. Treat a girl like a lady, even if she's not a wilting flower. When guys hold doors for me, rest their hand on the small of my back, actually act like they are trying to impress you, it's great. I'm not a super girly girl in most ways and a lot of guys will let the gentlemanly stuff completely slide because they don't see me as "ladylike" and it's really kind of a let down. Do I need you to hold that oh-so-heavy door because I can't open it myself? No way. Is it sweet and considerate when you do? Yes.
Definitely agree with these two, and I think they are related.
I don't have a no kissing on the first date rule because I think if I don't want to kiss you (or you don't want to kiss me) at the end of the date, we have a problem.
But generally speaking, I think you're right about the necessity of distinguishing between dating and hanging out with a friend. I am not going to feel any romantic chemistry with a man who treats me the same way my male friends treat me.0 -
2. If the date is going well hell yes I want a kiss at the end. Don't push it, but don't leave me hanging either! Almost all my friends are guys so if I go out to dinner with a guy or something and he doesn't really make it feel like a date, he WILL get friend zoned. Sorry, just how it goes.
3. Treat a girl like a lady, even if she's not a wilting flower. When guys hold doors for me, rest their hand on the small of my back, actually act like they are trying to impress you, it's great. I'm not a super girly girl in most ways and a lot of guys will let the gentlemanly stuff completely slide because they don't see me as "ladylike" and it's really kind of a let down. Do I need you to hold that oh-so-heavy door because I can't open it myself? No way. Is it sweet and considerate when you do? Yes.
Definitely agree with these two, and I think they are related.
I don't have a no kissing on the first date rule because I think if I don't want to kiss you (or you don't want to kiss me) at the end of the date, we have a problem.
But generally speaking, I think you're right about the necessity of distinguishing between dating and hanging out with a friend. I am not going to feel any romantic chemistry with a man who treats me the same way my male friends treat me.
That's all good and well but how do you let the guy know the difference, he doesn't know what your male friends are like. There would need to be a different vibe from you as date too I guess. I would be pissed for getting friend zoned for something as trivial as acting like a friend. Kinda defeats the purpose of getting to know someone if you automatically friend zone the guy because he acted similar to your male friends on one occasion...0 -
I don't mean acting like a friend as in being friendly. Obviously if it's a first date, there are limits to what you can do without coming off like a total perv.
One of the big things for me, and I've mentioned this before, is that I will not meet a date at a restaurant (unless I met the guy online, which I've never done). To me, that's not a date. That's two friends getting together for dinner.
I don't expect male friends to pick me up, to pay for dinner, to pull out my chair, to open the car door, to walk me to my front door, etc. As the previous poster said, if you're not doing any of that stuff, you get friend zoned because there's no difference between you and all the other guys I hang out with.
I never looked at this from the male point of view until I met this guy who was charming and funny and after we got to know each other, I asked if he wanted to come over and watch a movie. He said "I'm not coming over and hanging out with you. That's friend zone stuff, and I will not be friend zoned by you." That's when I really started to think about what it means if a guy is just hanging out with you and never making a distinction between you and every other girl he knows.0 -
I never looked at this from the male point of view until I met this guy who was charming and funny and after we got to know each other, I asked if he wanted to come over and watch a movie. He said "I'm not coming over and hanging out with you. That's friend zone stuff, and I will not be friend zoned by you." That's when I really started to think about what it means if a guy is just hanging out with you and never making a distinction between you and every other girl he knows.
Not exactly. Really depends on the stage of the relationship. Watching movies together isn't friend zone if there's passionate kissing and more involved. If one person makes a meal for the other that they eat together before the movie, that's a couple like activity.0 -
There wouldn't have been passionate kissing involved, and he knew that. Not because I didn't like him or find him attractive, but we did not meet under the auspices of dating and had not been on a date at that point.0
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That's crazy! Watching a movie is almost code for watching half of a movie and making out during the other half. I rarely watch movies with people that are just friends.I never looked at this from the male point of view until I met this guy who was charming and funny and after we got to know each other, I asked if he wanted to come over and watch a movie. He said "I'm not coming over and hanging out with you. That's friend zone stuff, and I will not be friend zoned by you." That's when I really started to think about what it means if a guy is just hanging out with you and never making a distinction between you and every other girl he knows.0 -
You all make this too complicated. :laugh:0
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I wish I had a dollar for everytime I've heard a girl comment on how important nice shoes are, this can even be a deal breaker for some woman.
If the woman was THAT shallow, I wouldn't give her the time of day, let alone date her!
Fair call. But I think about it. You're a girl and your sitting there waiting in a nice restaurant, the people around and dressed fairly nice.. lets call its smart casual attire. You've gone to a lot of trouble to like nice for this guy. Then. BOOM. your date walks in, wearing jeans and sneakers. FAIL.
You know what I mean, Im not saying you have to wear a particular brand of shoes, just dont wear your favourite pair of 2 yr old runners or something to a bar for casual drinks.
I'm a shoe person for men. I had this happen. I was dressed in a nice top, nice jeans and my new cute heels. He showed up wearing New Balance tennis shoes that looked like lawn mowing shoes. I wanted to die!!!0 -
That's crazy! Watching a movie is almost code for watching half of a movie and making out during the other half. I rarely watch movies with people that are just friends.I never looked at this from the male point of view until I met this guy who was charming and funny and after we got to know each other, I asked if he wanted to come over and watch a movie. He said "I'm not coming over and hanging out with you. That's friend zone stuff, and I will not be friend zoned by you." That's when I really started to think about what it means if a guy is just hanging out with you and never making a distinction between you and every other girl he knows.
Absolutely haha...
And what I meant was exactly what she is saying, it's all just about being clear on what you're both sort of thinking. I hang out with the guys all the time. I do plenty of "date" activities with guy friends every weekend, so to me it's nice to have someone make it actually feel like a date! Be a little touchy (not gropey, just a touch here or there), flirtatious, gentlemanly. In return I act much more girly while on dates than I do with the guys, hence a dress and makeup and jewelry instead of yoga pants, flip flops and a baseball hat. But I'm also more of a straightforward person and if I feel like things are confusing I'll probably just come right out and ask what's going on haha.
PLUS, I've come to realize that a lot of guys in their early-mid 20s love FWB situations, so if they act like one of my guy friends and then want to get physical, to me it feels like they are just looking for a hook-up not a date.0 -
I'm buying a kilt.
I approve
You all make this too complicated. :laugh:
No kidding!0 -
Do it Chris, get a kilt. The ladies approve0
