Pandemonium_ Member

A pocketfull of Ms. Dash seasoning. She pulls out a pinch, throws it on her food and makes the hand motion for an explosion while looking around to gauge reactions of those nearby.

Has been hired to tap-dance in a Mcdonalds lobby to promote the Mcrib

Are there 99 of them?

I'm afraid to look this up on urban dictionary

https://youtu.be/hoJQQuseZ7g?list=RDiYgId1baqWg

https://youtu.be/o4VLc8nUWhg?list=RDiYgId1baqWg

Debunker. Her current obsession is proving that Tom Cruise used a stunt double to do that underwear slide from Risky Business.

A rubber chicken shes carried for years. One day....one day itll pay off

Works at the local car audioshop. His favorite line is..."How low you wanna drop dat beat".

A geriatric hamster named Mr. Sniffykins

I hope there'll be a mankini version?

A Christmas Carol, the old Alistair Sim version

Dear Santa, Eat your own damn cookies and have that glass of milk. I'm counting calories. P.S. fine, I'll do it, but just for the kids

Bad Santa

She's an assassin, posing as a hula girl. When her target gets to the island, she graciously puts the lei around their neck, then strangles them with it.

HE BUYS GOLD (tm)

Dear Santa, I'm already practicing my "ifs and buts" . I expect loads of candies and nuts. Thank you PS (make it easy on yourself and just bring like chocolate covered nuts)

The resin encased left eye of a man named Bernie that she met during a drunken night in Saskatoon. Its the only thing she has left of him anymore, after his ears deteriorated anyway. She still chuckles when she looks into it and sighs.."Oh, Bernie"

She's an acolyte in the Church of Scientology. It began as a way to get close enough to Tom Cruise to get a sample of his flowing locks to sell on ebay, but now shes really looking forward to the aliens.

I dont want to jump on full force to rhino territory. Is there a mixed breed? Rhinopotamus, or a Hippoino?

Santa baby, No more hippopotomi please. Anything but a hippopotamus will do.

Super animal lover. Works at the local lice clinic to secretly save the lice. They deserve a life too!

A cornless cob for a phallus attack

Her latest job performance review crumpled into a ball. Her Supervisor wrote "Spends entirely too much time talking about butts". Beside his signature, she drew a butt.

A sock puppet named Murray that she puts on her hand, feels herself up and loudly says "Ohhhh Murray, you Scoundrel!"

Sells his worn socks to foot fetishists on amazon

Raccoon trapper

Barmaid

Specializes in the eye gouge. All the big wrasslin stars learn their technique from her