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A pocketfull of Ms. Dash seasoning. She pulls out a pinch, throws it on her food and makes the hand motion for an explosion while looking around to gauge reactions of those nearby.
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Has been hired to tap-dance in a Mcdonalds lobby to promote the Mcrib
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Are there 99 of them?
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I'm afraid to look this up on urban dictionary
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https://youtu.be/hoJQQuseZ7g?list=RDiYgId1baqWg
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https://youtu.be/o4VLc8nUWhg?list=RDiYgId1baqWg
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Debunker. Her current obsession is proving that Tom Cruise used a stunt double to do that underwear slide from Risky Business.
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A rubber chicken shes carried for years. One day....one day itll pay off
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Works at the local car audioshop. His favorite line is..."How low you wanna drop dat beat".
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A geriatric hamster named Mr. Sniffykins
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I hope there'll be a mankini version?
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A Christmas Carol, the old Alistair Sim version
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Dear Santa, Eat your own damn cookies and have that glass of milk. I'm counting calories. P.S. fine, I'll do it, but just for the kids
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Bad Santa
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She's an assassin, posing as a hula girl. When her target gets to the island, she graciously puts the lei around their neck, then strangles them with it.
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HE BUYS GOLD (tm)
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Dear Santa, I'm already practicing my "ifs and buts" . I expect loads of candies and nuts. Thank you PS (make it easy on yourself and just bring like chocolate covered nuts)
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The resin encased left eye of a man named Bernie that she met during a drunken night in Saskatoon. Its the only thing she has left of him anymore, after his ears deteriorated anyway. She still chuckles when she looks into it and sighs.."Oh, Bernie"
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She's an acolyte in the Church of Scientology. It began as a way to get close enough to Tom Cruise to get a sample of his flowing locks to sell on ebay, but now shes really looking forward to the aliens.
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I dont want to jump on full force to rhino territory. Is there a mixed breed? Rhinopotamus, or a Hippoino?
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Santa baby, No more hippopotomi please. Anything but a hippopotamus will do.
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Super animal lover. Works at the local lice clinic to secretly save the lice. They deserve a life too!
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A cornless cob for a phallus attack
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Her latest job performance review crumpled into a ball. Her Supervisor wrote "Spends entirely too much time talking about butts". Beside his signature, she drew a butt.
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A sock puppet named Murray that she puts on her hand, feels herself up and loudly says "Ohhhh Murray, you Scoundrel!"
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Sells his worn socks to foot fetishists on amazon
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Raccoon trapper
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Barmaid
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Specializes in the eye gouge. All the big wrasslin stars learn their technique from her
