Beeazlebub

What? Fictional? I'm right here.

See what I mean. How hurtful to make fun of the way I look. What did I ever do to you? (Well, except that one time, but that was indirect and way before you were born).

Can you believe all my names were already taken?! I had to misspell it.

Kids should be leashed. And whipped. Then again, so should adults.

OMG, you turned into a man!

I used to love the submissive type who would bend to my will, until I met Saddam. He's so alpha, I love it.

Ranch dressing is actually very healthy for you.

Tramp stamp on his neck...how wickedly funny!

Thanks everyone.....except the person who called me nasty!

Thanks everyone.....except the person who called me nasty!

Thanks everyone.....except the person who called me nasty!

Let me go, let me go!

I might actually be the hottest being in the Universe. I give my face a 6, my body a 6, and my personality a 6.

My horns.

A good friend like you deserves better. This is obviously her moving on but not having the courage to tell you it's over. I would cut her out of your life forever. And once this dud she marries screws her over and she comes crawling back to you for support, slam the door in her face.

Hey, it's the Holidays. Take it easy, New Years is just around the corner.

I'm doing this for my boss. It's been a while since I was his favorite. Hoping if I lean up again we can start over.

I usually where a leather bananna hammock, leather knee high boots with silver spikes on the knees, and my spiked "Road Warrior" shoulder pads.

I'm not going, but I'm looking foward to eventually seeing alot of the people who did end up going. Have fun kids.

Always do what feels good. To fight the urge is to feed the beast.

Number of the Beast-Iron Maiden Anything by Black Sabbath Gregorian (great chant covering modern songs) Era-Ameno Dancing Queen-ABBA (Do not judge me) Cop Killer- Ice T

I think everyone is misunderstanding me here. I want you to get what you want out of this, definately! I'm just saying everyone needs to take a chill pill. Or any pill for that matter. Have some wine, do a little dancing, ravage the innocent, go to the mall and have a big pretzel. I just want you all to be happy, it's all…

I liked the movie "Michael". I can't help it, Travolta just entertains me no matter what.

Are you kidding, I want you to have everything your heart has ever desired!

So, have a few doughnuts! You have a 13 and a 9 year old. That has to be so stressful. I am sure you are not appreciated as much as you should be. Well you know what, I appreciate you. I think you deserve some doughnuts or what ever else you desire.

I would love you until the ends of time.

I'm just saying there is always tomorrow. Kick your feet up and relax, have some cheesecake, throw back a couple of brewskis!

All I'm asking is a chance. This is so rough for me to put myself out there like this when so many have preconceptions about me before we've even met. I'm not perfect, but I think I can make a good friend. Let's all lose weight together.

No, I haven't been to Georgia, and I hate that story. It wasn't even me. There's this Incubus named Rick who likes to take my form and pick on hillbillies. The dumb SOB picks a fiddle fight with frickin Charlie Daniels, the next thing I know everyone in the south thinks I lost some idiotic fiddle contest. Just ticks me off…

Honesty, holy water, angel food cake, virgins, and you know who.