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What Day Is It?
Animal Disaster Preparedness Day. Does your dog's house have a storm shelter? Is your cat's climbing thing firmly anchored? Does your parakeet's cage have a safe room? Does your fish tank have a hidden cave? If not, do you REALLY love your pets? I think not. National Empanada Day. Are empanadas Mexican calzones, or are…
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What Day is It?
This week is: World Cocktail Week. Remember those 7 day benders in college? You're a day late. Dating and Life Coach Recognition Week. The circle of life begins with mom as your life coach. Then in your teen years she "coaches" your dating choices until you meet your head coach who nags, er um, "coaches" you til the day…
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What Day Is It?
National No Pants Day. It's not too late. Just drop 'em. National Renewal Day. That teen aged crush that you still fantasize about? Can you possibly renew that heat ? No. Petite and Proud Day. Does everything go over your head? School Lunch Hero Day. The students' lunch hero would be a lunch room chef who only serves…
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What Day Is It?
World Password Day. Your password must be between 17 and 83 characters and contain at least one lower case vowel but not more than two upper case consonants, no numbers you can guess with your eyes closed, one ), but no ^, at least one _, but no comma, and you must change it on all Thursdays in odd numbered moths. National…
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What Day Is It?
Great American Grump Out. This is the day all of the grumpy old people sit on their porches and yell obscenities to anyone who dares to desecrate their lawns with dirty dog feet. World Tuna Day. Protect wild tuna by eating only farm raised, diseased, chemically infused, gluten rich fish forced to live in small cells in…
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What Day Is It?
Global Love Day. Every May 1 we make love all day long. I hope you got plenty of rest last night. Journée Internationale de la Guérilla Tournesol. Semez votre graine aujourd'hui. Loyalty Day. Liberals no longer support this national day. National Chocolate Parfait Day. The cherry on top makes it a health food and negates…
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What Day Is It?
This week is National Scoop the Poop Week. If you own a dog and don't do this each and every time your precious poopsy poops in public, I will find you and I will force you to walk barefoot all day in poopsy's poop. Screen-Free Week. Turn off the TV. Turn off the monitor. Turn off the smart phone. Do this for seven long,…
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What Day Is It?
Free Feral Cat Spay Day. Here we have an example of alliteration and rhyming in the same phrase while advising people to try to capture wildcats. Be careful out there. Hairball Awareness Day. Appearing at the Delaware County Fair along with special guests, Large Midgets. Don't miss it. Mantanzas Mule Day. May he rest in…
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What Day Is It?
National Audubon Day. Perverts who love to watch Whooping Cranes whoop it up. National Pretzel Day. The only snack food with a longer shelf life than Twinkies. National Help a Horse Day. Why the long face? National Kids and Pets Day. I don't get how the two can be equated. As a rule pets don't need thousands of dollars for…
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What Day Is It?
National DNA Day. If you are older than 65, you don't have it. East Meets West Day. Think Loy Logers, Hop Arong Cassidy, Paradin, and the Lifleman. National Mani-Pedi Day. OK, guys, maybe the pedi part is somewhat questionable, but getting the mani part will definitely cost you your guy card. Red Hat Society Day. A…
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What Day Is It?
National Pigs-In-A-Blanket Day. Never, ever dunk in anything that isn't yellow. New Kids on the Block Day. If they still give you goose bumps, just go to your room and don't come out...ever. World Day for Laboratory Animals. Think disgusting, cute rats with lip tumors from wearing way too much lipstick and hair color while…
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What Day Is It?
This is: International Mariachi Week. Lest I having trouble imagining Polish or Arabian mariachis. Canadian Immunization Awareness Week. Thither must beest a better way to keepeth those folk hence. Bed Bug Awareness Week. https://youtu.be/2mWxpL03_nU National Park Week. https://youtu.be/alQNGvOnXLA 2322323232423232323 This…
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What Day Is It?
Phaseolus Lunatus Respect Day. The Rodney Dangerfield of Legumes. National Look Alike Day. Celebrating Italian women who have better mustaches than their mothers. National Pot Smokers Day. Or today to stoners. National Cheddar Fries Day. Possibly the ultimate munchie. National Pineapple Upside-Down Cake Day. Isn't every…
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What Day Is It?
National Garlic Day. A little organic garlic eaten daily has been proven to ward off mosquitoes, ticks, fleas, vampires and lovers. Get to Know Your Customer Day. Show up unannounced and empty handed for dinner. Fall asleep on the couch. You will get to know them well, very well. Humorous Day. If it isn't funny today, it…
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What Day Is It?
Blah Blah Blah Day. The only words you hear when your ex calls about something that happened thirty years ago and why she hated that jacket you were wearing while you were doing it. International Bat Appreciation Day. Why did they name flying rats after the Louisville Slugger? Nothing Like a Dame Day. I double dog dare you…
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What Day Is It?
This is: National Coin Week. Why would someone pay $7.59 million for a $20 gold coin that won't fit into a Coke Machine? National Paperboard Packaging Week. Combine paperboard with a plastic bubble and you have inexpressibly impregnable packaging. National Karaoke Week. To truly enjoy karaoke listening, you have to be at…
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What Day Is It?
Blame Someone Else Day. The politicians' favorite holiday. National Peach Cobbler Day. My personal favorite cobbled dish. It's far superior to liver cobbler. International Plant Appreciation Day. Take that one plant you haven't killed yet to lunch today and share your favorite cocktail with it. National Scrabble Day. My…
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What Day Is It?
National Big Wind Day. If the average fart travels 10 feet per second on it's own, can you imagine how many people you can disgust in a 231 mph wind? Celebrate Teen Literature Day. All of it thumb typed in short bursts of unintelligible "words" on smart phones while the world passes by. National D.E.A.R. Day. Unless it's a…
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What Day Is It?
National Cheese Fondue Day. The second (and girly way) for cheese to administer third degree burns the roof of your mouth. National Eight Track Tape Day. The future of recorded music from 1964 and beyond. National Barbershop Quartet Day. The eight track of Doo Wop groups. Submarine Day. I'm not sure if this gives me a…
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What Day Is It?
International Safety Pin Day. Some popular uses: Cheap earrings, Lock pick, Button, Mini assault weapon, Zit popper, Getting that pesky dust out of outlets, stick notes to your underwear. Free Cone Day. It's up to you to discover where and how. Golfer's Day. The only locker room where... Make up your own joke. National Be…
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What Day Is It?
This week is: National Robotics Week. If we build enough robots to make American products, we can bury the Chinese human workers. National Animal Control Appreciation Week. How's that workin for the rat population in New York and Chicago? National Dog Bite Prevention Week. It's not too late to remove their teeth. American…
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What Day Is It?
Polytetrafluoroethylene Resin Day. The makers of SOS and Brillo rue this day dating back to 1938. Sorry Charlie Day. You're late for work and you really do have a flat tire and it's raining? The IRS wants to see you? You found out your new girlfriend isn't and never was a girl? New Beers Eve. You are older Budweiser and I…
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What Day Is It?
National Deep Dish Pizza Day. If you've ever lived in Chi Town, the sacredness of this day is surpassed only by National Bacon Day. Go for Broke Day. Apparently, it's either the lottery or the casino today. Decisions, decisions. National Caramel Day. Without it Snickers would just be meh. National Burrito Day. Free…
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What Day Is It?
National Tell a Lie Day. Are politicians and the media telling the truth when they lie today? Walk Around Things Day. This one day out of 365, give your sole a break, walk around that fresh pile of dog poop or bubble gum. World Rat Day. Leave a little snack outside your door tonight for our fuzzy little friends. They will…
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What Day Is It?
Don't Go to Work Unless It's Fun Day. In other words, stay away today. World Party Day. Is this just a co-incidence, or cleverly planned? National Tweed Day. OK, guys and gals, get that tweed underwear on and begin itching in 3,2,1.... Fish Fingers and Custard Day. I'm not into sea food, so I had no idea fish have hands.…
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What Day Is It?
April is: Alcohol Awareness Month. I try to be aware every evening at least once. Confederate History Month. HTTP 404 file not found. Workplace Conflict Awareness Month. That person in the next cubicle who drives your nuts? This is the day for a left hook. National Facial Protection Month. Keep a careful eye on that person…
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What Day Is It?
Grass is Always Browner on the Other Side of the Fence Day. This is for all of you "but" people. National Virtual Vacation Day. After 2 years employment, the company awards you 2 weeks of virtual paid vacation. Turkey Neck Soup Day. Because chicken necks are too short. Alcohol-Free Weekend Begins. 47.798124 - 88.1016196…
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What Day Is It?
Festival of Smoke and Mirrors Day. This year's festival will be hosted by Mitch Mcconnell and Granny Schumer. National Lemon Chiffon Cake Day. Lemons are high in vitamin C, vitamin B6, vitamin A, vitamin E, folate, niacin, thiamin, riboflavin, pantothenic acid, copper, calcium, iron, magnesium, potassium, zinc, phosphorus,…
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What Day Is It?
Weed Appreciation Day. No, druggie. You don't smoke this one. April 20 is your day. National Something On a Stick Day. Hot dogs, Shish Kebabs, Popsicles, Ice Cream, Candy Apples, and anything else you can shove a stick up, especially thick cut bacon. National Little Red Wagon Day. Would there be any little Johnnie jokes if…
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What Day Is It?
World Theatre Day. Without fabulous performers such as Shashi Kapoor, Shabana Azmi, Om Puri, Naseeruddin Shah, Radhika Apte and Kalki Koechlin we would not have seen excellent films like Junoon, Arth, Ardh Satya, Sparsh, Parched and Margarita, With A Straw. Therefore, on the World Theatre Day, it is absolutely essential to…
