The New Water Cooler
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Yeah. We need rain here too. So bad. It’s so dry. We are officially in “extreme drought “ conditions. Rain!
No. I work at Behlen (farm equipment/buildings etc). BD does a variety of medical supplies. If you have ever had a shot or used a syringe it was probably made by BD.
Glad you made it home safe and had a successful trip0 -
Another day without the nasty fever, but still struggling with the headaches. GAAAAAA the headaches. And still so weak. WEEEAAAAKKKK.
I texted Bernie a 'how are you doing' and he expressed how he is feeling worthless. I replied with an 'I'm sorry' and went out on a limb and reminded him that talking to a pro could help with strategies and insights of many kinds. He was, again, not receptive. I equated it to eating healthy and exercising. Putting the consistent work in gets the best results, same with working on yourself. Sigh. He really is doomed to continue to have these issues I believe if he doesn't work on himself.0 -
I wonder if Bernie is in a mid life crisis? He didn't perform at work, is having a hard time finding another job, and seems glum or depressed about his situation. It's too bad he won't consider talking to someone professional in order to get a new perspective and some "tools" to cope. It must be hard on you on a day to day basis.
You really got hit with Covid. Are you back at work yet? I need to take some Zicam. Rory and Hannah had colds and I started a sore throat last night. It is still a little sore and scratchy. I took a Zicam in the night when I woke up with it but haven't taken another one.
Today I potted one more group of flowers and put the parsley and oregano in the garden. I can't tell if my tomato plants are over or under watered. I've read about it and it is so confusing. Not sure what to do. I went to check on cemetery pots and they look good. New buds for flowers and growing. They are drought tolerant so handled the heat well while we were gone. It is pretty cool today and will be for a bit.
My sister Becky who broke her ribs wants me to clean her pool, etc. She called and left a message to call her. I did, but she did not answer. I basically left a message that I was in and out all day due to lots of things on my list. I have no intention of becoming her yard and pool maintenance person while she can't do it. She has a lot of money and can afford to hire a handy person to do these things for her. I can barely get my garden areas weeded without getting worn out. They look a mess right now so tomorrow I will tackle some of them. I need to get back to aqua fit tomorrow since I gained a couple of pounds on the trip.
Hang in there, get rest, and try not to stress over Bernie. He needs to figure it out.0 -
hopefully you didn't bring home any 'bugs' from your trip. It.Is.Hell.
You know how I said I needed to give Bernie a break because of all the great work he did for the shower? I think I am over it already. I was too sick to work last Friday and this Monday - both of which are a huge deal for me to miss, but I had no choice. I went in as long as I could Tuesday, and then made it 8 hours on Wednesday and should make a full day today. It's rough. Rough! The weakness and just feeling so puny. But I literally don't have a choice. I had to burn vacation Friday and Monday already. Which was definintely NOT vacation. Anyway. So everyday I have been trying to 'check' in with Bernie and be kind and positive. He has stopped checking in on me. He hasn't offered to cook or get me food (yes - I am hungry!). He doesn't want me in the main areas (kitchen) without a mask - I get he doesn't want to get sick and I stay in my room as much a possible, but come on. I would have been contagious before I showed up sick and he would have been around that. I know things are not great for him right now. But guess what? They suck for me. They probably suck for me more. I'm sick and have to go work. Nobody really cares. It's my birthday this weekend. What do you suppose that will entail? He can't be around me because he thinks I'm still Typhoid Mary. You know he literally said to me when he was discussing one of these farther away jobs - that he would need to get a better gas mileage car for all the driving. He who has the brand new truck. Me who is driving a 20 year old get around. And when I last had asked (remember the fight) about my next car it started WW3? He will need another car? I agree driving/commuting in a truck is stupid. It's also stupid to then continue to make ME make payments on a truck that is too expensive to own. Maybe then he should sell it. There should be enough of a return on it (because he sold my car when buying it) that he could get something 'cheap'. WTF Bernie. WTF. So yeah, things feel pretty bleak right now. Why can't he look at things and go - if this is what I've been doing and getting not great results - how can I change things. Maybe somebody can help me see things from a different perspective. I just can't.0 -
Thank you Jesus. Thank you Jesus. Bernie has an offer coming from BD. In COLUMBUS. I’m not sure where his head is at because he was pretty subdued but IMO this is ideal. I still wish he would talk to someone. He obviously has a lot going on in there.0
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I hope Bernie is going to take the job. Is he for sure?
I am so sorry you are so stressed and do it all for your family and marriage. What will it take for Bernie to wake up and be your partner? When you think about the idea of "What can I control?" vs "What I can't control" it can simplify things to reduce your stress. You can control 1) what you say 2) how you react to others 3) what you do for yourself and others 4) your own emotions to list a few. You can't control 1) what others do 2) what others say 3) how they respond to you 4) the decisions they make, to name a few. I believe we all stress over the things we can't control way too often. We all have to learn to let go of those things and focus on what we can control, ourselves. It's not easy and always a work in progress, but sometimes it can help to think about our problems in this way and free ourselves from the baggage we can't control, to reduce our stress.
It sounds like work has been a challenge since you don't feel well. Do they not give you sick time or do you feel you can't take it?
I did come home with a flu bug of some kind. I did a Covid test this morning but it was negative. I felt lousy last night and took Nyquil before bed. My body ached, my throat was sore, and I was congested. Today I never got out of my bathrobe. I managed to water my pots but never checked the garden. It will be a miracle if it makes it. I don't know what is happening with the watering. I was in the recliner all afternoon reading and sleeping. I managed two cups of cinnamon tea with honey, my 100 calorie oatmeal, a cheese omelette with an English muffin and some tabouleah salad. I haven't been to aqua fit in 3 weeks! No energy so don't know if I will be able to go tomorrow either. I may just wait until Monday.
Yesterday eve, my sister Becky asked me to go to her house this weekend and clean her pool. I wasn't feeling well when she called and I was irritated that she can't pay someone to do these things when she can't. She has a lot of money and is a widow. She should have someone on her call list that can do things when she can't. I told her no, that I didn't feel well and I had too much to do around my own yard. I don't think she expected me to say no and got huffy. She said she would find someone else and hung up. I guess I won't be using her pool this summer since I'm not helping her. I have planned to go to the beach more often anyway.
Russ completed 3 sections of the new deck railing. It is going to look very nice. When done, we will stain both the front and back decks. Another project will be done.
Happy Birthday this weekend! How old are you turning? What is new with Z and C?
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I have been awake since 2:45. This trip with Covid has been so weird. I am still so tired and weak but this whole time has been so hard to sleep for any consistent amount. It’s going to be a long day0
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How many days now with Covid? You don't seem to be coming out the other side of it. What are your symptoms besides weakness this time?
I can't seem to get rid of this sore throat and cough. The body aches have lessened but foggy head, sore throat, cough and congestion won't seem to lessen. I am rarely sick so this is kicking my butt. I'm glad it isn't Covid and I feel for you when you are working and Bernie is not being helpful. Russ can be the opposite. He hovers and wants to know what I want to eat. We have nothing edible to me right now.
I made a chiro appt this afternoon to see if I can get my lower back and right hip back in alignment after the trip. I will need to take some Dayquil and wear a mask.
I need to shower and go out to the garden and see what is happening. A lot of work so I am a little afraid to see it.
TGIF and I hope you feel better soon.0 -
Oh no. I'm so sorry you did bring home a bug. You might want to retest covid in a day or two (not sure it really matters) but maybe just to know, because it kind of sounds like covid. I am about 12 days in on this version. I don't think I am actively 'sick' anymore since I don't have the fever. But the weakness, lethargy, strange insomnia, aches, Covid cough (lungs feel tight, breathing a big shallow to avoid triggering a coughing session) and constant headache are going to take a hot minute to resolve if it's anything like last time.
Food is weird right now for me too. I am hungry! But it's hard to figure what to eat the will agree with me. One day last it was a strawberry milkshake. One day was a burger. Those were both days Bernie was willing to do a food run. I would eat on those for several hours. But they tasted good. Then a couple of days with a tried a true 'egg' sandwich. One day I really wanted a bacon, egg and cheese biscuit from McDonalds. Bernie brought home some Wendy's sandwich. Not what my body 'wanted' but I ate it throughout the day and I have to say it didn't 'satisfy' me.
So, since Russ wants to get you stuff just maybe tune into what your inner sick kid wants and have him go get it.
Hopefully the chiro makes your body feel better.
Don't overdo it in the garden!
Take it easy.0 -
Oh - and this year is year 49 for me. I'm almost outta this decade. At this point, I'm not sure I can say I will miss it.
And, we don't have sick time per se - but illnesses and injuries may qualify for short term disability. The waiting period of illness becoming eligible is five days. You can cover the waiting period with your vacation or without pay. Even though I feel terrible, I don't need that many days off. I would have to get documentation from the docs and blah, blah, blah. So I stayed home the days I was in the worst shape and now just muscle through and wait to recover.
Feel better0 -
Chiro went ok. She said my neck was really tight. The hotel pillow was horrible and I woke up with a stiff neck every day.
I checked the garden and it is looking ok now. My sugar snap peas have sprouted and are growing quickly. All my flower pots are still alive too. Russ finished the railing today. Now to build an herb box on the section closest to the kitchen door. That will be nice to have. I don't know if he has found a design yet. We need to pick up deck stain and stain the floor boards. We can't do railing until Fall after the cedar has weathered a bit.
I haven't done another test. The first was so quickly negative and I waited the full 15 minutes and the positive line never showed up.
Russ made a Skinny Taste Strawberry Chicken and Lettuce Salad for dinner. It was good and filled me up.
I'm hoping I can weed a little at a time starting tomorrow. I will see how I feel.
Rest, rest, rest!0 -
Hope you are feeling a bit better. I am on the mend, just in the weak and puny section. I kind of have to breathe shallow to try to avoid a coughing fit. I hope I can bounce back fast. I wonder how long before I’ll feel up to trying to get on machine. It will likely take me weeks to build that back up too. Stupid plague. Oh and I am petrified that I’ll go through another hair loss phase. I’m still thin from the last time. Stupid plague.
They brought me a “good “ coffee this morning. I really enjoyed it.
I lost a few pounds while sick, which I enjoyed, but I need to eat to get my strength back so we’ll see what happens.0 -
I'm glad you are feeling better. I am too however, may have over done it sanding and staining the patio table. I am coughing and sneezing more now. I'm worn out for the day. Tomorrow or Monday I will put poly on the table.
I am working on taking off the few pounds I gained in Mpls. So far, I am going downward. I have lost and gained the same 3 pounds over and over again. It's a journey I will stay on for awhile.
I haven't had a good coffee since living in Mpls. I should have bought one when we were there but forgot. I don't go to the coffee places here because I prefer drive thru and they are always too busy for my preference to wait in line.
We have to re-enroll in our health insurance this weekend. We still get it through our former employer. Russ will start Medicare next January so that will help our insurance costs. I have 3 years to continue paying outrageous costs for insurance.
Well I need a bite to eat. Rest and feel better!
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Hope you had a restful day yesterday.
My mom texted yesterday and wanted to come for a visit to check on me. I replied that I appreciated the thought but wasn’t really up to visiting yet. While they didn’t show up, she didn’t reply so I’m sure I upset her. I’m sure they’ll come today anyway. Whatever. God forbid I say what I need and anyone respect it. This effing plague kicks my azz. It will take me weeks (at least) to recover.0 -
I wonder if each individual person's body chemistry/make-up determines how badly they get Covid? You have been whammed twice, not just light cases. I have yet to get it (knock on wood).
I volunteered at the theater for the 4:30 matinee today. I was out of practice so my memory for drinks requested was poor. I had to ask customers or verify what they requested several times during the initial rush. I won't be there again until 8/13 unless they contact me when desperate for a volunteer. I decided to cut back for summer since I have visitors arriving about every 2 weeks from 6/30 through 10/12.
I started cleaning my half of our walk in closet today. It has been on my list. I worked on shelves first. Cleared them off, dusted, sorted what to keep and refolded the keepers and tossed the other items in the garbage or give away bag. I finished most of the shelves but need to work on the last 4, still have to work on drawers and hanging
items. Power Books is closed for two weeks so I won't be volunteering at all until end of June. This gives me extra time to knock things off my list.
We finally had rain today. That will be good for my garden. It rained steady off and on all day.
Family is always a challenge. Did your parents show up?0 -
I went back to aqua fit today. The Monday/Wednesday teacher really pushes the class to move. It was 40 minutes of cardio and then stretches, balance and pilates moves. I could feel that it had been awhile for me. Prior to Lynn's hip replacement and she is 3 weeks post surgery tomorrow.
I am going to buy my national park pass today. Russ will go with me and we will get a mid afternoon dinner somewhere.
Russ' cardiology appt is this Wednesday. Fingers crossed he does not need surgery soon. So many people have bought plane tickets to come visit us. I wouldn't want them here if he is recuperating from surgery. Worst case scenario, it would be open heart surgery. Hoping that when it happens, they can go through his leg and up through the artery.
I feel like a nap! No time for that but it is sad that I would enjoy one.
Hope you are feeling better.0 -
If you need a nap, take a nap. Sleep will help you kick your bug.
I was experiencing some weird insomnia while sick this time, so It was great to get almost eight hours each night this weekend. I still feel depleted, but am working my way slowly back. I definitely have some sort of 'deficiency' that has me getting hammered by this stupid plague repeatedly. Even though I keep my risks on the low side. I apparently have a high risk immune (or lack of) system.
Wow! Already three weeks out of surgery for Lynn. How is she doing?
Sending good vibes on the doc appointment for Russ.
Here's to working our way through another week.0 -
Well today has sucked. Still waiting for the 'promised' offer from BD. And my brother-in-law who recently took a job at our Omaha plant? Well, today the presidents announced they are closing the Omaha plant at the end of the month. What a gut punch. They had to know that was on the table when they offered him the job (along with telling him he had to relocate - at least the house hasn't sold) and now what? His 'old' job here in Columbus is gone, is he out of a job? Michele is understandably beyond upset. I also fear for her staying after this. And then as usual I worry about me being able to stay if she doesn't. I know that's selfish. But it's becoming all Hunger Games here. So - yeah sucky suck suck.0
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Wowzer! What is going on with these companies? Do you think they are booting out older employees who have higher pay and will replace with younger, low paid? Age discrimination without being called that? I am so sorry for all of you! So much stress and uncertainty.
I can't shake the cough and seem to be having hot flushes so I wonder if I still have some of the bug. I don't know where the thermometer is and should have bought a new one when I was at Walgreen's this morning, but didn't think about it. I went to Aqua Fit but it wore me out. I came home, ate lunch, read my book on the couch and slept the afternoon away.
Tomorrow is Russ' cardiology appt. I am hoping I can go in the exam room with him but not sure how they prefer it to go.
My sister Becky who wanted me to clean her pool, hired a guy to clean it, do her yard work and a woman to clean her house. My sister Lynn told me Becky was shocked I told her no about cleaning her pool and was quite upset with me. I am sure Lynn told her I was sick and had a lot to do at my own house. Today I got a text from Becky asking how I was feeling. I was hesitant to answer because I assumed she would ask me to come over and do things for her if I felt better. Since the bug is still making me tired I told her I was tired and coughing but had more energy. She hasn't asked me to do anything for her at this point. I am willing to grocery shop, water house plants, pick up meds at the pharmacy, take both of them to their doctor appts. I am not doing yard work.
Do you think a move to Omaha may be in your or your sister's future to find employment for all?
What are the boys up to?
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I definitely think you are still fighting your bug. Listen to your body and don’t push too hard. I’m glad your sister asked how you were doing and hired herself some help too. Good luck with the appointment. I bet you will be able to go with.0
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Russ woke up very congested this morning. It sounds like it is going into his chest. He doesn't know if it is allergies or if he has now gotten the bug I acquired from Hannah and Rory. I told him to wear a mask at the appt today.
We have had rain recently so I will be interested to go out to my garden and see how my babies are growing. The sun is suppose to come out today and get into the high 60's/low 70's. It is foggy and wet out right now.
Please send positive thoughts for the cardiology appt today. I can tell Russ is really nervous. I wonder if they will just screen him today and order further tests or do something today? I hope he is not at the point of surgical intervention.
Does it seem like life is just throwing more curve balls as we get older? There is always something stressful happening. You have had more than your share. My retirement life is relatively easy except when Russ has an accident or one of us has surgeries. We never anticipated an undiagnosed congenital heart defect for Russ.
Layney, in FL, turned 1 years old yesterday. We were able to watch her dive into her cake on Portal. She enjoyed the frosting and a little cake and then pushed it away. Karah's parents were visiting them so they got to be there for the birthday party. We were with Miles a year ago on his first birthday. Ellis, in AK, will be 8 months this month. She is up on all 4's and moving forward to get around a room. She moves both arms or both legs at the same time right now, LOL!
I hope you have a good day despite all the worry.0 -
Sending you as much good appointment and health juju as possible. I am guessing the appointment will be a detailed history with Russ telling them as much as he can. Then a physical exam with maybe an onsite EKG. Most likely more tests will be ordered, probably the 24-hours holter (which is like getting a recorded EKG for 24 hours) and maybe an Echocardiogram depending on what they see, hear. It will probably take a while to get all that done and reviewed. But hopefully today will at least begin leading you down the path of finding answers and answers that aren't too scary. Even if medical intervention is needed, often times are less invasive ways now. I.e. catheter procedures.
It has to be more stressful to for him to be feeling unwell on top of everything. I'd say you guys definitely brought back an unwelcome souvenir from your trip.
Can't believe how your g-babies are getting. Time is a thief.
Come on good appointment!!0 -
The appt went well. Really personable doctor and I went to junior high with his nurse! Russ had an EKG and an ECHO already. That is how his primary doc discovered he may have the bicuspid valve. The cardiologist confirmed the bicuspid aortic valve but said they found it early and he just needs to be monitored every two years. They did another EKG at the appt. His blood pressure, pulse, diabetes, cholesterol, and heart muscle are all good and under control. The doc ordered a CAT scan as a baseline and then they would look at his valve in two years if he doesn't have issues. He said he is a long ways out from needing a repair. Russ also knows he has a bundle block but they aren't concerned about that yet. Down the road a pacemaker may be needed if he lives into his 80's. So we are both relieved. We celebrated by going to downtown Traverse City and eating at a really good Italian restaurant. I had been there for my sister's birthday with the cousins and told Russ how good it was. He really enjoyed it too. We are stuffed and won't need to eat until tomorrow noon or later (for me anyway). I will definitely go to aqua fit in the morning to get a good workout.
Karah and her mother have sent me lots of pictures of Miles and Layney. They are growing so fast and I miss them. They will be here in August but haven't confirmed dates with us yet.
Any news on employment on your end? Are the boys working or relaxing?
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What wonderful news! A celebration dinner was certainly in order.0
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I went to aqua fit this morning and wore my new aqua gloves to get more resistance with arm movements. Not as crowded this morning so that was nice. I over did it in the hot tub afterwards. I was talking to a couple of people and started to feel myself over heat. I got out but didn't feel so good. I took a cool shower and drank my water, then took it easy getting dressed. I will need to limit my time in the future. It doesn't feel good when your in too long.
Russ isn't feeling well. Either his allergies or the the bug has him miserable. It's a gloomy, foggy, rainy day so probably a nap day, LOL! Tomorrow through the weekend is suppose to be sunny and nice. I need to do a bike ride at some point.
Almost the weekend!0 -
Glad to get through the week here too. Feeling a bit stronger every day. Still no news on the job offer. He has had more interviews including farther away. I made a comment last night about being disappointed that he and the boys ignored Mothers Day and my my birthday and it made me sad. He said I was sick. I said not on Mother’s Day. And I may have been recuperating on my birthday but would have liked flowers and food. I also stated how this is hard on me too. And he snapped at me. And I walked off. Once again, I can’t say anything that makes him uncomfortable. Whatever. Who cares what I am feeling.0
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I hear you about the bday and mother's day recognition. Just because you are sick doesn't mean you shouldn't be acknowledged. Bernie is the model for the boys and how they recognize their partners later in life. I'm sorry it is so hard to communicate with Bernie. Russ isn't much easier at times.
I am off to shop and go to water yoga.
More later...0 -
I was just trying to calmly state that the lack of any recognition made me sad. Because it did and does. Bernie likes to claim I don't tell him what I am feeling, but there is a reason that I don't attempt it often. It doesn't go anywhere but to make me feel worse. And I am still so emotional right now probably from still being so depleted. And stressed and anxious and, and, and. I was not trying to downplay all the help he did provide for the shower and that he did get me a couple of treats while sick. But let's be real here - he wasn't working and in total it was probably a couple of hours total. And, yes, I know he is obviously feeling bad about the work thing, but why can't I express my pain too. Why does it always have to be about keeping him as even as possible. NONE OF THEM SEE ME.
Hope Russ is feeling better and you are continuing to get back your strength as well.0 -
you know, it's always been that way. Just be happy Marla. Don't you know how good you have it? Nobody could ever handle me having emotions. It's too uncomfortable. I am fully aware of how blessed I am. I am grateful and appreciative of the good things in my life. But sometimes I have feelings. Uncomfortable feelings, big feelings, little feelings. Sometimes I need someone to help carry it a little bit until things can process. But that never happens. Just put a happy face on it. It's more important to keep everyone else in a good place. Don't make people uncomfortable. As my dad constantly reminds me - don't be hard on Bernie. Be good to Bernie.0
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Are your Mom and sister supportive when you express your emotions and how you feel? I am wondering if it just the male reaction you are experiencing? However, the people that love us should be able to listen when we are upset and do something to make us feel better when needed. I get what you are feeling and saying. In my household I was the only female with a husband and three sons. It was challenging at times. I didn't always feel supported or listened to and felt that I didn't count many times. I was lucky I could express myself to a girl friend if I chose to do so. In my experience, it is rare for family members to feel comfortable with other's emotions and just let us feel them, affirm them, but not try to fix the situation. Maybe this is your family too? Vent and say whatever you need to say with me. Don't hold it in or stuff your feelings. That isn't healthy and makes you feel worse.
I watch Rory and his girlfriend Hannah communicate and envy them. Hannah is so good at saying what she feels and telling Rory why she feels that way or what she needs from him. He is learning to listen to her and being more understanding. He is a lot like Russ so I'm glad she is a good communicator. Russ typically projects blame back to me and doesn't accept any responsibility for his words or actions. He rarely apologizes. My reaction is to walk away and give up because I know we won't resolve the problem or come to a good compromise. I should be more like Hannah but I've learned to just let it go and move on. Not good, but that is what I do.
Relationships are hard! If Russ was to pass away before me, I will never date or be in a relationship again. I may get lonely, but I would rather just do things with women friends and do what I want.
I hope you feel normal health wise soon. I wish Bernie would go to couple's counseling with you and be open to working on your relationship.
What is happening with work, interviews, your sister and husband?0
