The New Water Cooler
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Hugs to you Amy! I'm so glad you are back and felt comfortable enough to share your grief and story. You are an amazing woman and very strong. I'm glad you have had your family around you and the memories on FB of John to give you comfort. I understand the feeling that God is with you. My faith (raised Catholic) was gone or buried for over 30 years until my husband fell 20 feet off our roof on to concrete 5 years ago. He lived but his body was very broken. It was an amazing ER doctor who saved his life. Any of the professionals (firemen, ICU docs, EMT's, etc.) said it was a miracle he was alive. His foot broke his fall and his head never hit the ground so he was very lucky. I was not one to think about God or praying and hadn't in a very long time. That first night after being with Russ in the ICU knowing it was touch and go, I felt God was knocking hard on my door. When I went home and got ready for bed, I noticed a book on my night stand that had been sitting there for months. It was given to me by a coworker who had invited me to her church and I had refused. The book was called "When Life's Not Working" and was written by her church pastor. A loud voice in my head told me to pick up the book and begin to read it. It spoke to me and the issues in our marriage we were experiencing. For the first time in over 30 years I prayed to God to heal Russ and to help our marriage. We had some looming issues that were sidetracked due to his fall off the roof. The whole time Russ was healing and hospitalized I felt the presence of someone guiding me, giving me strength, and watching out for us as a couple. Sounds weird I know but I get what you are saying about God's presence. I made Russ read the book when he was well enough and we began attending the church my friend invited me to. We've been going for 5 years and look forward to services every week. My mother was disappointed I had lost my faith and once told me "someday you will need to rely on your faith to get you through something". Now I know what she meant. Have Eiko's and your injuries healed? I imagine this holiday season is difficult for you but I believe John is by your side sharing the joy of family and friends.
Our Thanksgiving was very quiet since it was just us. I've had a very lazy week off. We are searching for a new prelit artificial Christmas tree but don't want to spend a ton to get one that looks nice. Poor Rory has never had a real tree but I can't deal with the needles falling off, having to water it, and I'm sure the dogs would mark it. We are heading to Home Depot today since we saw some contenders on line to check out.
My eczema is so bad right now. I itch from head to toe and have rashes all over. Scratch, scratch, scratch!
Shirley- your picture from shopping looked like you were enjoying a nice time with the ladies.
Marla- You've been quiet. I imagine you are busy with church, choir practices, and helping with homework. How is the work situation and layoffs?
Ang- What's new?
L- traveling again?
Jenny
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Good morning ,
Today is another day on the slope - this is my second hitch up since the accident . I want to add that my company was amazing during this whole thing - you really learn so much about a company when something like this happens . I mean seriously my boss wanted to gift me 5thousand dollars when I told her after two weeks that I needed to return to work because I couldn't access our money . I instead borrowed from the company and am paying it back each check .
I have super great friends and family that are always around.
I have so very many good memories and even the bad memories are good
Oh to answer your question Eiko is doing great but will need at least one more surgery on her nose it's a little twisted looking haha but she's handling it like a champ and is actually visiting her boyfriend in Cali and they both don't seem to mind the scarring at all.
he biggest issue was after the accident she spoke really funny and sounded like she was deaf or special and came home pretty upset after a magic tournament where some new players thought she was special ..lol until her friends told them about the accident . What she was upset about was so what if she was special they didn't have to be mean to her ( so proud of her)
She has 4 metal plates in her face ( that she's pretty proud of hahaha) she has adhesions in her tummy after the surgery but does not want to have another surgery to repair them because then you can end up with more adhesions so why bother unless it gets worse.
Me ,I'm ok . My back doctor says It's not a question of if I have to have back surgery but when , and is amazed I don't have more pain than I do . She says I have pinched nerves on both sides but my pain is not sever so I want to wait as long as I can to go under the knife .
Working during both Thanksgiving and Christmas this year and I'm so glad . it's easier up here because there are no memories with John up here and the men up here , well, they are men they say " I'm so sorry for your loss" and it's done - no one is watching me to make sure I don't fall apart no one is coddling me lol I need to be treated normal now at work you know.
I can fall apart every evening in my room quietly like a normal person hahaha.
I have started going to church when I'm home and it's really helping me get through life you know .
John prepared me for this in so many ways but I will tell yall some funny things that has happened ...I forgot to pay the monthly bills and when my sister in law told me the internet was out I said hmmm I don't think I paid that ...wait I didn't pay any of them hahaha then found out my husband was paid in advance on all of the other bills until November !
oh yes, my Brother in law Judd and his wife ,my friend Tara , have moved in with me . I am so glad because it's a big house . Eiko was sleeping with me until she went to Cali.
Oh and I still wnet on our cruise but my sister and her husband and my brother and his wife and Eiko and Jazmine as well as Jayse my two y/o grandson . it was amazing ! John old friend the reason we were on the cruise in the first palce came to the table every night and told us stories of when they were younger . Amazing . It felt like a gift from John .
Amy
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Lost my info so more tomorrow. Ugh, this site drives me crazy sometimes.
Jenny0 -
I'm on my computer this time. Why is it so difficult to write on this site with a tablet? I get so frustrated.
Amy, sorry Eiko experienced those attitudes but she sounds like she is doing well considering. Sometimes people are so insensitive and don't take time to know someone's story. Your employer sounds compassionate and amazing!
My last day before going back to work. I've spent the last 1 1/2 hours doing paperwork, of course. More to do but only brought home two files that were pressing.
Russ is out organizing garage for winter. It looks good with exception of all his junk he has piled on shelves. I wish he was more organized with his stuff but it just isn't him. He has so many other redeeming qualities (cooking, cleaning, caring...) so I am lucky.
I rode my bike for 20 minutes this morning while I read my book. My legs are weak and it will take time to build up to 30-45 minutes. I'm trying to ride my bike 3-5 times per week. The turbo trainer is nice and it will be easy to store when my bike goes back outside.
I hope you are all having a nice weekend.
Jenny0 -
I will read all your posts to catch up later.
We got back today from our trip to Michigan with family and friends. I say family because our friend's
daughter, husband and kids are like family to us. Our first stop on the trip was Frankenmuth, MI
or Christmas town as I call it. The Bronner's Winter Wonderland was amazing and very big. Very
overwhelming when you first see it. We did our shopping there and then some shopping in the
downtown area. Our dinner was at a German Bavarian restaurant, lots of food, kind of too much.
Then stayed overnight and continued on to Coldwater, MI where we had our Thanksgiving dinner
with family and friends. A little shopping that night and then home to the hotel. I was up at 4:30 am
to first do my meditation and then get ready for the shop until you drop day. We stopped at Biggsbee
for coffee and like every year the manager takes our picture and it is on their web site. We dressed up
this year with deer antlers and Christmas tops, there were 4 of us going shopping. We did 12 hours
of shopping and then back to Kerrie's for pizza and we all watched a movie. Got up the next morning
and had breakfast and started back to our friend's house and stayed overnight and then got up
and headed home. We are tired and laundry is already starting.
I hope everyone had a wonderful day with family and friends.
Oh, and my grandson, Isaac is crawling. My daughter sent a video of him crawling on the floor.
So darn cute!
Shirley0 -
I have been called in to work at 10 pm and I am patiently waiting for the people to show up for a drug test..I thought I'd fill yall in on something funny that happened this week . It starts off dark but try not to focus on that part because it's all working out .
My sister in law is in the hospital in Louisiana after a gall bladder surgery fiasco - she went home and three days later after calling the DR. all weekend went she finally went to the ER and was immediately put on a ventilator - Don't focus on this part she's getting better ...Any how If only you guys knew her she is so private. I mean she does not share her business with anyone hahaha he youngest son in 20 and he has Asperger's ,this is where it gets funny (I like to focus on the funny ) He was so distraught that while she was on the ventilator for a week (gasp) he walked around the neighborhood telling all the neighbors everything that had happened ...lol I laughed so hard when my brother told me that and still laugh ...so while Tonya still had the vent in a couple of days ago ,my brother told her that Tristen was going around telling everyone in the neighborhood about her and her eyes got big ...Poor Tonya ..but y'all this is the funniest story ever ,we will be telling it for years .
She is doing so much better - moved into a regular hospital room today . I will be going to Louisiana on the 6th after stopping to see Eiko in California for one night ..I'm glad I will be going to help ,instead of what I originally thought, I bought the tickets as soon as I found out what was happening
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But it's all good . I get to see the grand baby again .
Oh did I tell y'all that Johns Son had a baby boy on November 8th - on his birthday ?
And that my son Patrick and his girlfriend are expecting a baby girl in March ?
Good things ahead . Y'all good things ahead . I will be ok...0 -
Wow Amy! lots going on. I Just read all your posts and everyone is busy and will be getting busier
as the season approaches for Christmas.
AMY - I just want to say glad you are back with us we missed you! I have been following you on Facebook and you are handling John's death wonderfully as you can handle those things. Everyone
grieve's differently. I wish my BIL would take a lesson from you, it has been 2 years since his wife
passed and he is having a hard time getting passed it. They were married 50 years and planning
their trip and then she passed from cancer. I read your post about the accident and that was pretty
scary. I am glad the rest of the passengers are okay.
Congratulations on all the new babies
coming.
I just got back from Yoga class it felt good to get back after my TM meditation session and the
trip to Michigan. Dave is sick with a cold and we have plans to see Isaac this weekend, he is coming
to grandma's house. I hope he recovers or we will not see him. My sister and her boyfriend are
coming on Saturday to go for dinner too.
I will be practicing my music for choir today, we only have 3 more rehearsals until the concert.
Then I will get groceries after that.
Shirley
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Amy - so glad you are back - have been following you on facebook and so loving your pictures and memories - I am glad your work has been supportive - keep chugging along pretty lady - I'm sorry you and Eiko have more surgeries in your future - I pray they will go well and heal you both completely. I'm glad you are finding comfort in faith. I know all of us here have been praying for you and yours.
Shirley - I only have two practices until our church concert. Not enough! I hate going into it not feeling ready. I am thinking it might be time for a break. I still LOVE the music and absolutely LOVE that the boys are still so into it - but the sanctuary choir practices are getting so chaotic with a couple bringing their little kids and so much noise and chaos. I hate it. And then not feeling ready for the performances makes me nuts. I know it's not about being perfect - but I have spent too many years in choirs to be good with not working toward a good production.
Jenny - I spent a few very mellow days after the crazy day at my sisters. She had all her husbands family so it was like 45 people. Crazy. We had an ice storm that morning so the roads were crap - she of course still took off for shopping - triple crazy. I spent Friday, Saturday and Sunday quite quietly. Got the tree up - watched some Murder She Wrote dvd's - tried a new cookie recipe. My kind of days.
The next couple of weeks will be intense with getting ready for programs and winter weather coming here to stay. Work is status quo at the moment - everyone tip toeing around and hoping they aren't next - for now we are just all working like crazy and watching carefully.
Be well my friends.0 -
Dave said he is feeling better today but he has an upper respiratory chest thing going on. Fingers crossed. I am taking Emergen-C to keep the immune system up. I took it twice today just because.
I practiced my music, Marla I know what you mean I don't feel ready either. There is one song that I
feel weak on I hope I can practice home more too.
The next couple of weeks will be busy for all of us. Dave got the outside lights up today and I have
to start decorating the inside. Dave wants to paint the downstairs before I do decorations inside.
At least the downstairs area and leave the upstairs accent wall until after Christmas because he
has to peel off wallpaper.
Keep on chuggin everyone!
Shirley0 -
Busy! I sing at church with a thousand other people but my voice isn't good enough to be in a choir. Kudos to you Marla and Shirley!
Marla- I'm glad you had some relaxation and quiet time after the huge family gathering. I'm not a Black Friday shopper so I don't get why people want to go out to the stores on Thanksgiving either. I can't stand crowds and lines.
Shirley- I hope you get to have Isaac at your house. Get better! Wonderful that Isaac is crawling. Let the trouble begin
Just in time for the Christmas tree!
Amy- Since I understand Aspergers that is pretty funny. Sorry your SIL was so ill. Her son dealt with his stress by talking about it and doesn't get the social cues and appropriateness. Just saying what's on his mind! LOL! Why do you get called in for a drug test in the middle of the night? Who determines the need for one?
Big snow fall last night and this morning. Traffic was awful for the work commute. It took me 30 minutes to go what is usually 5 minutes. I moved like a snail to my first appointment at 7:30am due to bumper to bumper traffic. Took me an hour and typically it takes 15-20 minutes.
We bought a new artificial Christmas tree. The kind that can have colored or white lights. Our other tree had broken branches and lights were going dark. I thought about getting a real tree but didn't want to deal with needles falling off and watering. This way I can have the tree up for a month without worry. Not the same I know...
Well we are getting more snow now but it's so warm that the roads will be passable tomorrow morning. No snow day for us
Night!
Jenny0 -
Good Morning ladies ,
I woke up this morning at 348 am and couldn't sleep anymore . Of course at this time in the night lol it was peaceful and quiet , and I thought maybe it's John that's here.... So I looked at my Phone to check the time and said no way John, I'm not getting up to exercise ! hahaha0 -
That's is funny Amy! Who wants to get up at that time to exercise.
I just finished my 30 mins. on the bike and still have to practice some choir music. I have practice
tonight so I am just going to practice one song that I need to know better.
I am catching up on here since I was gone. I am feeling better as Dave is too, fingers crossed.
I talked with Kathy (Isaac's mom) and her house is in turmoil because they are riping out kitchen
cupboards and redoing the kitchen, hence, coming to our house with Isaac. She is hosting
Christmas this year and hopes the kitchen will be done before Christmas, fingers crossed again.
I still have to get the play pen and high chair ready this week for him. Clean it up and bleach it clean.
Well have to go and get some things done.
Shirley0 -
So all is going well ish in my new world . I feel as though I am not using food for comfort as much as I was before ,which is a step forward for me since I really want to get it together .
I feel bloated - I am on my period too though .sigh .
Shirley That Grand baby is just so beautiful .You guys look so happy . About your BIL , was he kind of a loner before his wife died ? If so I can imagine it would be harder for him to adjust . I was never a loner -ever- I need people to energize my life - also ,Lol my councilor says I have an unnatural ability to "turn off " my emotions when I am around people which can be good or bad ,but it's definitely a survival instinct I learned from growing up in an abusive household . But hey whatever works . She said as long as I deal with my feelings I'll be ok...and I deal when I am alone . which is probably when I post sad stuff to facebook - I'm trying to understand the feelings . I'm doing better than I expected actually . I'm so glad he talked to me about this all the time..
Marla , Your family is definitely growing up .It's so funny how fast they change at this age .
Jenny , That's why I told the story about Tristen hahaha I knew you would understand ,We are going to laugh about it for years .
Anj ,How are things going ?
Amy
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oh I am so worried (not sure that is even the right emotion) for my nephew. He has been out of high school for two and a half years now and is still struggling. I think he stopped going to classes again this semester. He seems to hit some class struggles and just gives up. He has had some really bad breaks and I think he thinks he just can't do it. And my sister has talked to him and said that it's not like has to go to college - but he needs to commit to whatever. I don't know if it is because he was so rigidly scheduled and so busy in high school with so many sports and then Michele always sat with him every night to make sure he did his school work - and then having all that extra time and no sports to keep him on track. He comes home and works every weekend and works a ton of hours over the summer - but he just flails at school. I'm sure he feels like he is letting everyone down because it was always just expected to go to college - but if it isn't for him - it isn't for him - not that he seems to know what is. He is so unusual in that he really doesn't care about money. As long as he eats he's content. So the lure of getting a degree to get a better job doesn't create a drive. His drive used to be sports and without that he is just - off. Siggghhhh -0
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Marla - Well that's a big issue to deal with. Similar story in our family (Dave's side). Nephew's son out of
school was a big sport player and even went to Florida to a school for his sport. He was in a game
and a player stomped on his knee and messed it up bad. Now he has to have 2 surgeries in his
future, no college yet and living at home and not sure what to do. Similar kids and situations.
Well Survivor is coming on better go.
Shirley
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Marla , You guys know the story of my daughter right 21 years old . She really could care less about going to school or not going to school . I'm sure the only reason she is going at all is because I told her she either goes to school or goes to work . However she was pretty upset about sitting out this semester - I guess not being able to go makes her understand that it's important . She's just started caring about her grades .
I too don't think school is for everyone . and maybe he can join a city sport ? my son plays rugby in the summer here?
So I have something else I want to bring up ....
So I live at a camp up here . It's just a big kind of like a hotel and I eat at the same table almost every day for 4 years now with mostly the same men . They are like a second family because I am up here as much as I am at home and we've shared countless breakfasts and dinners together . I was telling them I am selling my husbands 4 wheeler and snow machine if anyone was interested and someone said they wanted to look at the snow machine and one other guy said he wanted me to send him a picture of the 4 wheeler so we exchanged phone numbers ...
and he texted me .... nothing inappropriate ,he texted a picture of a grumpy looking dog which was a topic we were discussing at lunch that day . so we texted a little jokes and such . Innocent but texted him that I was a mess because of the texts , I felt like I was disrespecting my husband every time I laughed at his texts you know ? He said he understands and that is was just texting he didn't mean to make me feel uncomfortable at all . Sigh
Life is hard and I miss my husband . 0 -
I know it's hard Amy - but it is ok to be happy - that you feel ok with it - will take time hugs0
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Amy, you are still grieving and sorting out your emotions about John. It's ok to have friends and text no matter what their gender. You will know when you are ready to move on. Your heart will tell you. Don't feel guilty. You are a people person and having friends is a good, supportive thing! Hugs!
I'm at work and ready to leave for book club. Short up date.
Went to the play with my friends last night and ate out at a Thai restaurant. Very good! We split 3 entrees and 3 appetizers. It was a perfect amount since Asian restaurants tend to give way too much food.
My stitches came out today so now I can sit in the hot tub again, yay! Looking forward to it. Plan to decorate tree and house this weekend.
Have to run. Will write and comment more this weekend.
Jenny0 -
Amy - Hugs to you. I will keep you in my prayers. Glad to see you back on here and hear how you are doing.
I am ready to collapse. This week has been so long! My last evening at home was Saturday. My next evening at home is Monday. It's that season! Between church and rehearsals this week, it's been busy! My church Christmas cantata is this weekend. We had our final full dress rehearsal tonight. I was late. There was a car accident at a busy intersection that my bus goes through. Another bus finally showed that I could get down to the bridge. I got off there (my normal bus takes me across the bridge) and got another one across the bridge. She drove so slow! When I got to the bridge terminal where my connecting bus was, I saw it. It is on the right hand side second bus stop from the top. The bus I was one had to go the left had side last one on the bottom. I was in heels. I ran. I didn't make it. Shouldn't wouldn't stop earlier and let me off to make my connection as there was a supervisor on the bus. I was so upset! This is the third time in a week I've been late because of traffic and winter hasn't even arrived! Ugh. I was so irritated that I bought chocolate milk and a chocolate bar at the bridge terminal. Drinking chocolate milk before singing soprano isn't a goo idea!
I did have my day made when I got home though. I joined a new book club a month or so ago. When I got the last selection of listings it said to chose the book(s) you wanted. I looked at it and wondered if that meant I could pack more then one. My other one I can only pick one. I selected four and waited to see what would happen. Today I got ALL FOUR in the mail!!! I've got a lot of reading to do!
And sleep I need sleep. This week is wearing me out and it's far from over. Tomorrow is work and the kids program I work in. Saturday I need to run out to pick up the last of my Christmas gifts that I ordered and finally came in. Then I need to pick up more things for the Ladies Christmas banquet next weekend. I have to be at the church by 5pm to practice before the performance at 7. Joseph is coming down for the Saturday performance. The guy who doesn't like to take time off on Saturday is taking time off and coming down! I"m shocked! It will be nice to see him and we are exchanging Christmas gifts. I need to make sure between now and then I get his wrapped! He made it easy last time he was down by stating his wallet was falling apart so I got him a new one. I hope he likes it.
Right now me and my headache need to take a shower and get to bed. It's almost midnight. Here's hoping I don't oversleep tomorrow! I did Monday was my alarm didn't go off and almost did today. I woke up 40 minute before I had to be out the door. My lunch is packed and my clothes are ready for tomorrow. So that will help me get ready in a hurry if I need to. (Hopefully I don't need to)
I will try to stay in better contact. I am trying to get back at eating right and working out but I'm so busy right now it's hard. It's also hard with all the yummy Christmas goodies out there!0 -
tgif0
