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  • brileylmt
    brileylmt Posts: 199 Member
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    I look at my previous eating habits like a wound. For a would to heal, it must heal from the inside out. I ate incorrectly for several years. Sometimes getting the correct number of calories but unhealthy food, other times it was healthy choices, just not enough calories. I now have to heal my food wound. I have to heal from the inside out. I have to eat healthy quality foods AND enough calories to allow for healing, at a cellular level. This starts from the very inside of us and gradually works it's way to our outer layers. If you don't heal each layer, you have the potential to tear something up and have to start again. This process takes as long as your mind, body and spirit needs it to take, as the sum of these parts are you.
    Thank you @jerilynconn for sharing your thoughts. You have encouraged and inspired others to continue their journey. I have made the mental decisions to heal, I am trying to make the physical changes to heal and I hope one day my heart and spirt will start down that healing road.
  • Raynn1
    Raynn1 Posts: 1,164 Member
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    thats a really good analogy @beverlyriley900 !

    Its amazing how very long metabolic damage takes to heal. Its no surprise that even the smallest of diets can cause significant damage that can take for....ever... to heal. This is the reason why we stress Reset should never be rushed. The longer you can stay there, the better chance of success in the end. Some people reset for more than 2 years depending on how damaged they were coming in. Also why we stress it is important to love yourself at every point on the journey. That was the last key for me. If I didnt love myself during my reset when I was at near my heaviest, I certainly wasnt going to love myself if my journey took longer than I thought it should.

    Kelly
    EM2WL Ambassador and Moderator
  • empressichel
    empressichel Posts: 730 Member
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    @beverlyriley900 I like your comparison it truly is about healing.
    @jerilynconn I totally get it. Like @Raynn1 said, I gained a lot of weight during my reset for several reasons, like I went increased my calories by a lot, straight away, I was coming from a background of decades of damaged metabolism and was dealing with a ton of stress too.
    I don't weigh myself anymore, but I reckon it was about 50 pounds that I put on in total.
    I'm not going to lie, this was devastating and I felt like I was going backwards for a long time.
    For some of us the physical changes can take a while so that's why we've got to put more emphasis on the mental changes until we get there.
    It is still part of the diet mentality that has been drilled into us. Facts like; true progress is measured on the scale or our clothes size or our body shape.
    Lets look at all the progress you have made over the last few months that I know about. You are smashing your weights at the gym. Like your deadlift numbers are seriously woah!
    You enjoyed a family holiday recently where you enjoyed eating wholesome tasty food without guilt knowing that it was just part of family life. You said you felt more comfortable and confident while you were there. These are the wins. These are everything. When your boys are grown they won't remember (probably never know) your scale number, dress size, daily macros. They will remember you being there for them, laughing, enjoying the moment.
    I say this from the heart. Before EM2WL I was cooking separate meals to my family, sitting down to a pound of stewed cabbage (I kid you not) while they were eating pasta, snapping and shouting at my children, arguing with my husband, sobbing out of sheer frustration. Feeling completely alone. Obsessed with food (even though I wasn't eating much of it) I had no go foods, if I had chocolate I would skip a meal. I was utterly exhausted by it all. Deeply depressed. I can honestly say I hated myself. I could not believe my years of self control had run out and the old tricks weren't working anymore.
    I tell you this because I would not swap the bigger, heavier person that I am now and go back to that person for all the money in the world, or for the 'perfect' fitness model body. Nope. No way.
    My attitude changed when my mum passed away. Suddenly all the little things didn't matter. They seemed so trivial. I can tell you in the last 8 weeks of life my mum had, she didn't worry about her weight or how she looked once (she had a lifetime of up and down weight WW etc)
    All she cared about was spending more time with her 'precious ones' as she called us. That's when it became clear that's what it's all about. The ones who love you don't care about how you look, and the ones who care, don't really love you.
    Sure, I want to have muscular arms and a firm booty, I'm not going to lie! But I see those things as a bi product of living a strong and healthy lifestyle. I want to be strong and healthy enough to stay fit and in good health to have more time with MY 'precious ones' My mum was my greatest teacher. So I keep her last lesson of those last weeks with me always.
    Life is so fleeting, so finite and yet so incredibly amazing.
    And you will see physical changes as your work begins to compound. This year is the first year I have visible delts, because i made that one of my goals. But I got there eating, enjoying my family and having fun!
    Keep going Jerilyn, because results are just around the corner. Thank you for being honest and sharing this. It is hard but it is so worth it.
    Ichel
    EM2WL Ambassador and moderator

  • zanyzana
    zanyzana Posts: 248 Member
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    Wow, I just read this whole thread from go to whoa! It's very informative. Thanks for sharing your progression. I haven't even started the EM2WL approach yet, I'm not good at following instructions, so am feeling my way around things. This post has helped lots. I'm going to give it a star so I keep up to date with it.
  • jerilynconn
    jerilynconn Posts: 524 Member
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    zanyzana wrote: »
    Wow, I just read this whole thread from go to whoa! It's very informative. Thanks for sharing your progression. I haven't even started the EM2WL approach yet, I'm not good at following instructions, so am feeling my way around things. This post has helped lots. I'm going to give it a star so I keep up to date with it.

    Thank you @zanyzana I stink at following directions too, which is why I think ive been frustrated lately. If I could start over i would slowly increase my calories rather than doing it all at once. We've got a great support system here. Friend as many of us as possible. And ask questions!

    @empressichel @Raynn1 as always, timely words. Thank you. I appreciate you sharing your story too Ichel.

    I'm already feeling less down in the dumps about it all. Fighting fear with action! And not getting obsessed with the numbers.

    @beverlyriley900 thank you. Since I can't see the damage it's hard to even know it's there. A lot of my symptoms on the metabolic damage list are often associated with having small kids. I spent the last 10 years having babies, then toddlers. My youngest is 4 1/2. I did OK with the first two, but I've constantly struggled since I got pregnant with my last. I wonder if metabolic damage exacerbated everything. I was never officially diagnosed with adrenal failure, but my husband's aunt is a midwife and after my thyroid test came back normal, she suggested adrenal fatigue.

    The past few years have been about slowing down, healing, caring for me properly. I have seen the good things to come from it. Em2wl is a continuation of that, that I didn't even know I needed. With that connection in my mind made it makes more sense. Going to give it time.
  • TerezaToledo
    TerezaToledo Posts: 613 Member
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    We all have in common going through some though times with our bodies and food relationship. We are have our battles and struggles and it does get easier when we support each other and just trust the process. What got us here won't get us there, that's for sure. The diet mentality that got us where we are, will not take us where we want to be, no way.

    @jerilynconn It's not easy to work so hard and not see the progress we are doing with our own eyes. But trust me, there is progress and change in you. You have a plan, you got your steps down, now you have to keep going. Your workouts are on point, food is on point, now the mindset needs to be there too. You are a fighter and you got this! You are a big inspiration (even though you may not see it) and you will overcome your struggle, mentally and physically.

    I had so much to say, but my mind is a bit fuzzy after going all out in a nice leg workout, sorry :)

    Tereza
    Team EM2WL
  • jerilynconn
    jerilynconn Posts: 524 Member
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    Thank you @TerezaToledo ! You've been a big help to me!

    I have no idea what prompted my mini breakdown, but I'm on the mend now. Things look a lot brighter right now, even though nothing has changed. Ahhh, this mental game! Its a constant battle.

    I went back to eating tdee and my weight has decreased 3 pounds (almost back down to post summer vacation, precut weight) which proves @Raynn1 was right. My body isn't ready. I'm not sure why I saw some loss on my first reduction in the spring. My body probably wasn't ready then either, but maybe I had overshot tdee and my body was balancing out.

    I switched to a new workout plan I had never done before.

    I will continue to eat tdee for an undetermined time period. I am tracking my daily weight on the libra app, to make sure my tdee is correct. The small daily fluctuations don't seem to bother me. What bothered me was gaining weight in a deficit. If it becomes a problem I plan on stopping. Trying to do the small things that add up to big changes.
  • Raynn1
    Raynn1 Posts: 1,164 Member
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    Awesome update @jerilynconn The mental game is the hardest thing to overcome. You will win it, though:)

    Kelly
    EM2WL Ambassador and moderator
  • TerezaToledo
    TerezaToledo Posts: 613 Member
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    @jerilynconn you are welcome anytime! Eating at a deficit and no losing weight would bother me. If I'm eating less I sure want to see the numbers dropping. Maybe that's why I haven't even tried to cut in a long time, lol. I'm thrilled that you are feeling better and things are moving along. Life is too short to be wasted on not enough food, too much cardio and no results.

    Tereza
    Team EM2WL
  • empressichel
    empressichel Posts: 730 Member
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    Yes @jerilynconn Glad to see things are moving along better for you now. These mental ups and downs are all just a part of it. Probably after the workshop finished, it just all felt a bit flat and overwhelming. Like Kiki said, a high is always followed by a low!
    Great that you are doing a new programme and eating at TDEE again. Body recoup and new PR's headed your way!
    Ichel
    EM2WL Ambassador and moderator
  • jerilynconn
    jerilynconn Posts: 524 Member
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    Still eating and pushing through. Having some moments where I'm feeling very large. Trying to push that out of my mind and focus on the good things in my life.

    Like, I like how if I eat too much or have a little freakout due to stress, its not the end of the world.

    Yeah, I've gained 20 pounds this year BUT I feel like I'm in a better place than last year. I try to not think about getting things done by a certain time frame (I.e. < 3 months left in 2016!!!!!!!)

    Doing a hypertrophy plan with some metabolic finishers, not really sore from my leg workout 2 days ago. But during the workout I felt like I got a really good workout. So, not sure what that means.
  • dejavuohlala
    dejavuohlala Posts: 1,821 Member
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    Week 4
    Hello EM2WL Team - working on TDEE 1900

    I just wanted to give you some figures for my 4TH week to see if I'm on the right track and what my intentions are for the FIFTH week which starts today.

    Started at 178lbs. After week 4TH week 179 lbs (was mainly 178 but then went up to 180 lbs then down to 179LBs)
    Cal. Aim 1400 per day. 4TH week. Had Average 1375 cal per day

    Fitbit burn only Average 1780 (not adding any manually now). Interesting this has increased since not adding any burn manually.
    Some days I hit, and go over, on Protein but then the carbs are too high. Other days I fall short on protein, on the whole I don’t think the protein is too bad?
    Carbs 44% protein.28%. Fat 28% Average in 4th Week.

    I am also using resistance bands for 10 minutes a day ( I don't have weights and also have a back problem). I do cardio each day too. Decreased cardio from 30 minutes on static bike to 15 minutes on static bike. Have increased the strength of the resistance band yesterday.

    Week 5. Aims
    Starting today week 5. aim for 1450 calories per day.

    Please can you advise if this seems ok or that I am not getting it right?

    Looking forward to hearing your views and thanks for your help
  • empressichel
    empressichel Posts: 730 Member
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    Hi @dejavuohlala
    You are doing great! And yes, you are spot on with your plans for week 5.
    Don't worry about your protein, averaging at 28% is absolutely brilliant!
    Ichel
    EM2WL Ambassador and moderator
  • dejavuohlala
    dejavuohlala Posts: 1,821 Member
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    Hi @dejavuohlala
    You are doing great! And yes, you are spot on with your plans for week 5.
    Don't worry about your protein, averaging at 28% is absolutely brilliant!
    Ichel
    EM2WL Ambassador and moderator

    Thank you Ichel
  • dejavuohlala
    dejavuohlala Posts: 1,821 Member
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    I'm concerned that my carbs are going way over with increase in calorie intake. I think this is why my weight went up a 1lb and I feel really bloated. Any suggestions please thank you
  • empressichel
    empressichel Posts: 730 Member
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    Hey @dejavuohlala
    Just focus on getting the calories up at the minute, that's the most important thing.
    You can get your macros to exactly the right place when you get up to TDEE.
    Don't be concerned about a 1lb week get gain. It's likely just a fluctuation because of the increase in calories.
    Just stay at your current calorie level for another week or two, then ease it up again.
    No hurry, no pressure. Just take things at your own pace.
    Don't worry! You are doing really well!
    Ichel
    EM2WL ambassador and moderator
  • dejavuohlala
    dejavuohlala Posts: 1,821 Member
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    Hey @dejavuohlala
    Just focus on getting the calories up at the minute, that's the most important thing.
    You can get your macros to exactly the right place when you get up to TDEE.
    Don't be concerned about a 1lb week get gain. It's likely just a fluctuation because of the increase in calories.
    Just stay at your current calorie level for another week or two, then ease it up again.
    No hurry, no pressure. Just take things at your own pace.
    Don't worry! You are doing really well!
    Ichel
    EM2WL ambassador and moderator

    Thank you Ichel
  • Raynn1
    Raynn1 Posts: 1,164 Member
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    As Ichel said, getting your cals up is what is most important. I found when I took mine up initially, my carbs was probably around the 50% mark. Once you get to the level, then its easier to manipulate the eating to get the macros in line.
    But in the meantime when it comes to choosing what to eat to increase your cals, If you focus on protein first to get the cals up, then it will help edge out the carbs and fat, keeping them in line.
    But 1 lb isnt any normal fluctuations.. done focus on it and just keep doing what you are doing.

    Kelly
    EM2WL Ambassador and Moderator
  • dejavuohlala
    dejavuohlala Posts: 1,821 Member
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    Raynn1 wrote: »
    As Ichel said, getting your cals up is what is most important. I found when I took mine up initially, my carbs was probably around the 50% mark. Once you get to the level, then its easier to manipulate the eating to get the macros in line.
    But in the meantime when it comes to choosing what to eat to increase your cals, If you focus on protein first to get the cals up, then it will help edge out the carbs and fat, keeping them in line.
    But 1 lb isnt any normal fluctuations.. done focus on it and just keep doing what you are doing.

    Kelly
    EM2WL Ambassador and Moderator

    Thank you Kelly
  • dejavuohlala
    dejavuohlala Posts: 1,821 Member
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    I didn't put my weekly update on as I feel that I am getting the hang of this and accepting it's a long process. I thought this is a good time to find my true TDEE whilst leading up to the Christmas period and I can have a few extra calories. I don't like the scales going up by 2 lb but trying to ignore that. I use resistence bands as I feel that lifting may irritate my long standing back problems. How do I know what my resistence band equals in weights per lb ??
    I have increased my protein massively and enjoying some food things that are high in protein. I can't explain it but I feel different but can't put my finger on what it is? Does that sound daft??? Thank you all for your help. Carol