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@Kirstie155 hahah in that case I should use Murphy's Law in my favour haha. You're right that timing wise, the chances of not being able to go are slim. And I don't know that I will get pregers.
Also... babies can actually be really good to travel with, especially on a cruise where your room is right there! They don't like their ears popping on planes, but otherwise, my mom always says it's fine. You just have to bring a lot of stuff. Agreed with you here on not planning life around someone else's hahah. My coworker took his 1.5 year old to Europe and she had a great time. And they were well rested. It just means you get up earlier and go to bed earlier.0 -
I wouldnt have an issue traveling with a baby, but the fact that he told us to "plan accordingly" was just ridiculous. He doesn't even have the dates....and what if it takes us awhile to get pregnant? What if we have our first, then our second right after? What if he cancels the trip, or it just doesnt happen? Its just crazy for him to say we have to plan our reproduction around his vacation! I hope it was in jest...but you don't know my dad....I'm just not sure
I would not want to travel during my last 6 weeks of pregnancy, or in the first 3 months after birth. Like I said, babies can come early, and there is no warning. I would want to be close to home, with my own doctors nearby...and with all my baby gear! And after birth, I think you need time to heal and get settled with baby. If you had complications or a c section, you arent supposed to return to work before 8 weeks or so I think, and you really need that time to sleep and heal-at home.0 -
Ughhh no offence but that is why I'd never move to the US. 8 weeks? You've gotta be kidding me! I'll take my 17 to 52 weeks, thanks! Now Sweden... I could get on board with 2 years of mat leave... maybe I'll need to learn a new language hahah.
Your dad sounds like an interesting fellow! I'd say if there is that much up in the air about the trip, he was probably joking haha.0 -
@VeryKatie I would say to keep trying for a baby. Missing your friend's wedding would be sad if that situation happened, but you would have the joy a new baby and I'm sure your friend would understand. Plus as you said, this may not wind up being an issue
@Kirstie155 your dad's cruise plans remind me of what happened to one of my best friends. Her mom suddenly sprang on her an offer to go on safari in Africa that mom would pay for. My friend was hesitant to go for several reasons and then shortly after the offer was made, my friend found out she was pregnant with her first child (they had been trying for ~1.5 years). Her mom was livid that my friend had the audacity to get pregnant and ruin the mom's plans for the trip rather than being excited for her first grandchild from her only child. I think she eventually got over it. The whole situation was absurd.0 -
@VeryKatie Ugh, don't even get me STARTED on our screwed up system here in the US. Can I come to Canada? 17-52 weeks sounds fantastic....and let me guess, its paid, right? *jealous!!*
I actually get no paid leave at all for maternity care. Expecting mothers may take 6 weeks for vaginal delivery, 8(?) for c section-all unpaid by the government (gee, thanks!) You can get paid mat leave if your company includes it as a benefit, but mine does not. I have to save my sick and vacation time (something else that is a benefit, and not from the government...so not everyone is so fortunate!) to use while I deliver and after. My vacation package is quite generous, at 3 weeks plus 1 week of sick per year. Many people get significantly less, or none at all. So when I am pregnant, I have to save up all my sick and vacation time for over a year just to have enough to cover the 6 weeks of time off for delivery if I want to get my full paycheck. I am allowed to take 12 weeks off without losing my job, but it will be unpaid without my saved leave.
I had to really twist Chris' arm at one point just to get him to agree to take this December vacation with me...he grew up with no vacation. His family just worked all the time. It's what he is used to. He doesn't think we "deserve it." I told him I was going, with or without him...I deserve it, thank you very much, hahaha!
Childcare is also outrageously expensive and not a government priority. Grrrrrr! I'd leave in a heartbeat if we weren't so tied down. Damn family!
@puffbrat wow, I thought my situation was unique! I'm glad to hear that she got over it! I think dad was joking...but he pulled us aside for this "talk." It was weird, and reminded me of when I was a teenager, in hushed tones on the porch. "Now kids, I know you are getting married, but plan your pregnancies accordingly...because In 3 years I'm planning a surprise vacation!"0 -
@puffbrat yeah I'm thinking the same thing now. I'm just a bit nervous. That's crazy that the mom was mad about her daughter being pregnant over a trip
@Kirstie155 Ours is covered by unemployment insurance (a tax we have to pay into all the time). You have a 2 week waiting time after going on mat leave before the insurance kicks in. They pay something like 55% of your salary up to a maximum of $850 every two week for the next 15 weeks of maternity leave. Then the 35 week parental leave starts - either parent can take it or you can take it together (but you use it up twice as quickly). That's the same pay as mat leave. Anyone who takes the leaves has their job (or a similar one) held for them for a maximum of 52 weeks.
You do forgo any benefits and raises typically while you're gone. Some companies will top up the EI so that you get up to your full salary. My company fills in the 2 week waiting period with 93% of my salary, and then tops up the 15 week mat leave up to 93% of the salary. No top up for parental leave though. Of course, it's still great even without top up. Chris keeps saying he's going to take my parental leave from me though since I make marginally more than he does... but then I go "but boobs". Besides you're only talking 55% of the difference we make at that point.
Of course... it's hard to get childcare. You can have your child on a list for a spot on a city wide register for ANY daycare the DAY you find out you're pregnant and STILL not have gotten a spot by the time your parental leave is up. Leaving you either giving up a job, relying on family or friends, taking your kid to work (yeah right!), or ... leaving your kid with someone unreliable? Oh and if you give up your job, you have to pay back your top-up to your company.0 -
@VeryKatie that sounds amazing. I want to move to Canada now.
We have something in the US called FMLA, which is the family medical leave act. At a company of 50 or more employees, your job is secure for 12 weeks. You can use FMLA once per year to take care of a family member in need. It's unpaid job security. That only lasts 12 weeks. :frowing: it's not much, but it's the best we have. My company is less than 50 people...so I have no security. Once my 6 or 8 weeks of medically necessaryy leave is up...I could get canned if I don't get back to work. My boss did say that he would hold my job...but I have nothing written to ensure that. Scary thought to lose your job after you just had a baby.
We are fortunate to have money in the bank, but it's really scary to think of what happens to families that aren't as fortunate as we are.
Anyway Katie, glad you have such a great policy in place!!1 -
Well I'm late on this but my simple answer would be this: I would not plan anything I do around someone else and what they want. I don't have time for that. My life, my choice and my time so I'll do what I want on my schedule.
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Date night with the hubs! Hope you are all having a nice weekend! It's supposed to be 108 with the heat index here!0
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Hope you enjoyed your date night @Kirstie155
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I'm late to the maternity leave conversation but going to jump in. My employer is great for maternity leave. We have way more than 50 employees, so I'm guaranteed the 12 weeks unpaid FMLA leave. My husband (we work for the same company now) said that our company actually allows up to 1 year of unpaid maternity leave. He said a woman he works with just got back from doing this, but managers were frustrated by having to hold her position. I can't imagine I would take that much time off (because I might not go back after and finances) but it's nice to know the option exists. I do know that the company as a whole and my manager in particular allow women to change to part time schedules and do some occasional work from home to accommodate families.
This is so much better than my last job. That company had fewer than 20 employees, so no FMLA leave. They also had no policy regarding maternity leave in general. There was flexibility to bring kids of any age into the office, but there was no guarantee you would even job to come back to. Right when I left, they very shockingly laid off an incredibly valuable employee who had been on maternity leave for about 12 weeks and wanted to get back to work.
@Kirstie155 I hope you enjoyed date night with your husband!1 -
Sometimes I feel like the US is still in the dark ages when it comes to maternity leave. Guys want kids too, but can't do it without a woman (unless they adopt - which in Canada, you still get the parental leave 35 weeks off for). And then they punish women for having those kids. Our government is apparently considering an 18 month maternity leave policy now. With the same benefits as 12 months spread over 18. I would be interested in that too. That would hopefully help solve the daycare issues we have here.
Seriously though. Sweden, my friends. 420 days off with 80% of your pay! Or 46 weeks in Norway at 80% as well - which also offers what looks like 2.5 months of guaranteed paternity leave at the same time. Annnd doing some research, Bulgaria sounds awesome! 410 days at 90% of pay PLUS up to another YEAR at minimum wage!
There were some studies in 2013 that show that it costs a company more to not offer maternity/parental leave than it does to offer it. They lose out because of higher turnover and low productivity.0 -
The US is stuck in the dark ages. The ONLY reason hubby and I haven't tt yet is because of childcare/maternity leave.
First we had to put some money away (cause its not like I'd be getting paid while Im out!)
Then pay off the car (billz billz billz we cant pay cause its not like I'd be getting paid while Im out!)
Try and get on short term disability insurance, which is only open to apply 1x per year (cause its not like I'd be getting paid while Im out!) See a pattern here? This insurance has to be approved (please, sirs...can I haz approval for insurance coverage for mah babies?) and if approved (they CAN deny you coverage,) it only pays 60% of your salary for 6 weeks (I think?) AFTER you already use up your own vacation and sick leave. After that, you have to have a separate long term disability plan that kicks in for time after that. Jump through those hoops!
Our original plan was to pay the bills, save some money, get pregnant and I'd just quit my job. It's what I'd prefer, and then we dont have to worry about money that we counted on being shortchanged somehow...but now that I have been promoted, I am really enjoying my job. So I have the right to change my mind and just see how it goes
but I can tell you I'd feel much better about it knowing that I had more job security than 12 weeks (which is NOT guaranteed, no FMLA because there are less than 50 employees at my company.) I don't want to quit my job, stay home with baby for a year then have to start all over. It would be so nice to have that security! There is no paternity leave for my husband either, though he does qualify for FMLA (100% unpaid) to take 12 weeks off if needed. So he will have a choice to take time off or get a paycheck-not both.
Child care is so expensive too-it could easily be half of mine or my husbands take home pay or more, not really sure how much...for 2 children. So enough money left over that it is better financially to keep working, but its still soooo expensive! I wish we had child and elder care provided as citizens
@VeryKatie Sweden sounds amazing!0 -
Here is an interesting read about the US maternity leave (or lack there of.) https://washingtonpost.com/news/worldviews/wp/2016/08/13/the-world-is-getting-better-at-paid-maternity-leave-the-u-s-is-not/
By the way I have spent hours of my afternoon looking into short term disability and how to get it. Since my employer's insurance company has denied me the past 2 years running, its safe to assume they will do the same this year. Requesting again with my fingers crossed is the only thing I have come up with...I can't buy an individual policy. There is no other option
Anyone know of any other way??0 -
Sorry I can't help you there @Kirstie155! Our child care here costs a fortune too. Something like $70 a day for the first year.
I'm not changing the subject but I just wanted to post a picture of my new shoes randomly. Haha.
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@VeryKatie oooh those are really cute! My last pair of new nikes have since been demoted to lawn mowing shoes! They are really old! I have 3 pair of running shoes: I have a pair of sneakers I only wear in the house for the treadmill so they stay clean(ish)and a pair for outside walking/ jogging, and the final pair are the grimy yard ones now...haha!
Do you run? I'm more of a fast walker, haha. Running makes my boobs hurt.0 -
@VeryKatie Love the shoes!0
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No I don't run lol. But I did dance around in them yesterday. My feet kind of wanted to fall asleep though so maybe they don't fit right. But my last pair has to be at least 6-7 years old. I keep those at work now in case I want to exercise at lunch.
... I posted that picture from my phone, why is it so huge lol.0 -
@VeryKatie those shoes are adorable! I was disappointed the ones I got in January weren't very colorful.
@Kirstie155 I'm afraid I don't have any ideas regarding short term disability since I've never looked into it.
My plan is basically just to keep putting money into savings and plan as much in advance as possible. My husband and I are both really lucky to have great salaries in a relatively cheap cost of living area. Also, my company allows us buy up to an additional 80 hours of vacation leave at the start each year, so I think I will do that next year to hedge. If you don't use any or all of it, the company just sends you a check at the end of year for the unused time.0 -
How is everyone doing lately? My last week was pretty good, other than the weekend. I should have reigned myself in a bit better haha.0
