Runners that need some nutritional accountability
Replies
-
@ddmom0811 I'm taking you up on that vent.
ETA haha! I realize I just went all Mama Bear!yall. omg through this I gave in to face book to communicate and gather photos and memories. I hate face book. it brings out so many opinion-holes. Its day 3, from 3 friends to 8. one family member, brothers baby mama.
Why does the golden rule not apply to people anymore? I get everyone can believe what they want.
political
so just ignore me here is i offend anyone. Here we live in peaceful coexistence. I accept you as you accept me. I honor you, you honor me.
Ask me what I think about my daughter involved with a woman and a link tells me you are a Trump supporter. Good god, no wonder this world is *kitten* via FB. My daughter isn't dating a woman and even if she was, back the ef up. Did I ask why the hell you support somethin I dont agree with? ef no. I mined my business and let you be you. But since you have such staunch opinions, you should know; I love my kids whether they are bipolar, alcoholic, depressed, suicidal, dyslexic, overweight, messy, LGBTQ or freaking purple. It's a good thing your kids are heterosexual christian trump supporters, just like you and you can accept them. Lucky you, huh? cuz otherwise they'd be what? unlovable? damn, Glad I got the ones you didn't want, cuz they are freakin' awesome. mother father. people!
coping strategy
I was able to see the woman that cuts our hair. Gave Alex his first "not a mama" hair cut when he was less than 2. We had a therapeutic chat, I anticipate some potential personality clashing at the funeral, because some people can not refrain and be kind for 2 seconds. I have a plan so I don't unleash. because i am seriously not equip to handle them dumping their baggage on me and resort to being polite. I will unleash, which isn't how I want to remember this upcoming service.
Alex may be gone, but boy do i feel like hes left me his honesty in telling people how the cow eats the cabbage. Not his chosen words, which would just be kittens.
despite our differences here, we can love one another. This isnt an impossible task to learn to accept others and understand they see things differently and you don't have to react like a kitten over it. yet here i am, being that FB made kitten right back, but ill say it politely, meeting you on that superior ground on which you stand.
Despite FB
My day has been otherwise lovely. I love so many of Alex's friends and my heart is torn and comforted simultaneously. I got to see him today. The viewing isn't for another 5 1/2 hours, but i had to drop photos by. Oh how I love that kid. It was such a blessing to see him again.5 -
@elise4270 - I love the pictures of Alex! I hope your dd is managing and finding solace in friends and others she can talk too. I don't think any of us can really know how she (or you) feels unless we have lost someone too like @HonuNui. Especially with dd being a twin, it has to be like losing a part of yourself.
I too have been thinking of you many times a day and wondering how you are doing and hoping you have others around you to help and support you. I just wish I were closer by to be there for you.
I can't believe people on FB are saying such things, especially now, but then I don't go on FB much anymore there than to check on Vizsla groups and activities.
Take care of yourself and if you do lose it and unleash on someone it will be ok, maybe not the way you would want it to be but you know Alex wouldn't take kitten from anyone either.4 -
@shanaber Thanks. I'm better after venting. DD has been a trooper through this. I know it's not over and always be that half of her is missing. I think i am going to suggest she cut a lock of her hair, which is 2+ ft long, and leave it with Alex, so they'll always be together. She'll have keepsake ashes and a necklace with his fingerprint too.6
-
Alex's humor.
His replys are the left side. Green is a girl he was "dating".
3 -
@Elise4270 - I just pop in here sometimes from the running thread to read and saw your post about the loss of your son. I couldn't just "lurk" anymore and wanted to send you my condolences. I am so very sorry.
Well. Alex did have a way with the ladies... Thanks for the thoughts. I really do appreciate it, from everyone here.3 -
@elise4270 - too funny on Alex's text. Agree - the Golden Rule! People can be awful on FB. Or everywhere!
I am glad seeing him brought you comfort and that you have some support. I hope no one is rude tonight or at the service. Vent away!
2 -
quilteryoyo wrote: »@Elise4270 Alex is so handsome! So, so sorry for your loss. Keeping you all in my prayers.
ya, Mr lady killer! I found 2 girls in his closet when he was 15. or was it 14? DH use to call him porn star over a particular incident, that I won't go in to for the sake of public decency.
Sorry to be so chatty. I dont know what to do til 5pm. No one is home, just me. Eric may not even go tonight, he's not sure he can handle it.2 -
@elise4270 Those are beautiful photos of Alex, especially the first one. He looks like a kind soul.
That text conversation is funny.
Chat away. We are hear to listen and provide support.1 -
Loving the Alex stories.
In NZ a traditional funeral for Maori (Tangi) is 3 days. Everyone gathers and tells stories, funny, sad and everything in between. Emotions are encouraged and everyone gets to see and talk to the person. I only went to a couple of Tangi and they were always fantastic healing places. I'm not spiritual at all, and could always feel the spirit in these situations.
If you need and want, we are happy to Tangi Alex here. Feel free to karakia (pray) and Tangitangi (cry/shreak/wail/scream) as much as you want. Maori (and I) believe in feeling what you are feeling. No such thing as being dignified in death.
PS I'm ashamed I've never seen the casketeers though have of course heard about them. Wonder if it's even available on NZ netflix hahaha. May binge this weekend. If you are that way inclined, there is a great channel on YouTube, Ask a Mortician which I absolutely love. She talks about all sorts of topics around death and the process. She's not gory and is very watchable. Maybe wait till things have settled unless you really have that sort of inclination (I absolutely do).3 -
Well I came on to moan. Finally weighed in. 4kg over my current typical weight. So not the worst but not great. Attempted to run cause hop test was OK (can I hop on one leg pain free). I got niggles and pains. So probably going to be another week of no running. But I've decided to suck it up, get over my "woe is me" and get back on the wagon.
First goal: get back to starting weight of 65kg. That will probably take till the end of June - I'll know in a week, cause it will take a week for all the water weight to fall off and show the true weight gain over the last 2 weeks.
To achieve this I will track my intake and plan all my meals. I will still exercise - walk, HIIT, strength, swim once the pools are open, bike riding. So much I can do! And I will stick to calorie goals.
Then I can worry about goal 2 (start losing again).4 -
@Avidkeo The NZ funeral does sound like it would be very healing.
@Elise4270 Again, I am so sorry. And people can be so insensitive. I try to think that they don't mean to be, but they just don't think about how it is going to impact the person they are "talking" to. I usually just try to say, "I'm sorry" at funerals and then let the person lead if they want to say more or talk about anything. Unless I have a story about the person that I think they would like to hear. I, too, love the text conversation. Too funny. I hope the girlfriend thought it was funny too. I like the idea of DD leaving a lock of hair with him. Vent all you want to us. We're a safe place.1 -
@Elise4270 I can say that one of my greatest blessings was all the friends who came to Steve's viewing, AND the absence of relatives who did not, and so my...um.... lack of grace was minimized. Take great joy in the friends who come to visit Alex, they will leave you with wonderful memories.6
-
yall. let me tell you. I got some d.r.a.m.a.
My viewing time with Alex was cut short because DD got emotional and snapped at me. This girl is processing a lot and just needed me to back up so DH and I went for a drive. She apologized and I sent her words from @Avidkeo
"If you need and want, we are happy to Tangi Alex here. Feel free to karakia (pray) and Tangitangi (cry/shreak/wail/scream) as much as you want. Maori (and I) believe in feeling what you are feeling. No such thing as being dignified in death." and I didn't hold her accountable for her the outburst.
The holy kitten DRAMA!
..that ain't over.The woman that Alex was hooked up with is a piece of work, by work i mean trash. I try so hard to be nice and if i have an opinion to just shut up... but it is just insane that any one would be nice in this situation.
2 months shes with him, and I am sure she was involved in well.ok. point. is... she had the audacity to ask my ex husband (who follows her like a puppy dog with a... bone), for ashes so she can have US make her a diamond from them. He said yes. I return and misunderstand that DD wanted it. Ok sure well look at it. DD had left ready. Then we get to the point in conversation where this blank wants it. Can you imagine asking a mother for her sons ashes when you have no claim? OMG. I was polite and just tried to get away from her. I told the ex no, not happening after emailing the funeral director and DH phoned the director to make sure there are no changes behind my back. good lord. So when I tried to finish up my visit with Alex and his friends, I was consumed and she poisoned the juju. She actually said "its a good thing he used my 9mm and not the 45 cuz it'd have to be closed casket" this is who I have to deal with, btw that not the extent of offensiveness, there's more, but I'll refrain from fully unloading twice in one day.5 -
@elise4270 your mana (spirit) is so incredible. I hope DD can see you are being a safe place for her.
As for the other drama. Words fail me. Th audacity of her, I'm shocked and outraged. Let alone her comment.
Remember she is just attention seeking, wanting to be in the limelight and once Alex is settled at rest, you can wash your hands of her.2 -
@Elise4270 - I’m so sorry. That is awful! I can’t imagine anyone asking for his ashes and saying something so awful. Why would your ex follow her around. I hope you can get time with him alone. Speechless.1
-
@ddmom0811 my ex appears to be sniffin' 'round. This woman is in her 30's. I think she is manipulating him for something of value to pawn. Actually asked me if she could bring her kids to view Alex. Sure. Bad parent of the year, do that.1
-
@Elise4270 I have no words for that story. Your self control is amazing. I would have laid hands on the girl and it would not have been pretty. I am so sorry that you can't have some peace while you say goodbye to your beautiful son. You have to try to shut out the negative and focus on him and his friends and your DD and husband. You can vent here because its safe and you won't be judged. I love @Avidkeo 's explanation of the Maori mourning traditions......sounds cathartic!3
-
@elise4270 your mana (spirit) is so incredible. I hope DD can see you are being a safe place for her.
As for the other drama. Words fail me. Th audacity of her, I'm shocked and outraged. Let alone her comment.
Remember she is just attention seeking, wanting to be in the limelight and once Alex is settled at rest, you can wash your hands of her.
I hope so. I told DH that I bet she pulls some crap, tries to steal the urn at service or something. She's nuts. DH even told the director, "I'm a counselor and she's nuts"3 -
@Elise4270 I have no words for that story. Your self control is amazing. I would have laid hands on the girl and it would not have been pretty. I am so sorry that you can't have some peace while you say goodbye to your beautiful son. You have to try to shut out the negative and focus on him and his friends and your DD and husband. You can vent here because its safe and you won't be judged. I love @Avidkeo 's explanation of the Maori mourning traditions......sounds cathartic!
Well my intention was to deescalate the situation and not invite further chaos from her. I told DH I'd burn some *kitten* and give her those ashes. Thursday I don't plan on being nice. She keeps texting Alex too. Tomorrow I'm having his number put on an old phone so I can document her nut case like behavior.4 -
@Elise4270 - I don't know what to say... I too am shocked and outraged and can't imagine someone doing/saying those things! I know I wouldn't have been nice. I would have told her she can get the *kitten* out!
I am so glad Eric went to the viewing with you and is there to help! I really hope that once Alex is at rest you can be done with his 'girl friend'.
I love @Avidkeo's description of the Maori traditions - so good! Hopefully you all will have lots of good memories shared with Alex's friends.
If you can, try to focus on you, your memories, all the good times with him and saying goodbye.3 -
@Elise4270 - I don't know what to say... I too am shocked and outraged and can't imagine someone doing/saying those things! I know I wouldn't have been nice. I would have told her she can get the *kitten* out!
I am so glad Eric went to the viewing with you and is there to help! I really hope that once Alex is at rest you can be done with his 'girl friend'.
I love @Avidkeo's description of the Maori traditions - so good! Hopefully you all will have lots of good memories shared with Alex's friends.
If you can, try to focus on you, your memories, all the good times with him and saying goodbye.
Thank you. This disruption has taken my focus off what is important. So Eric and I got to place to not discuss it. Hopefully all is over with regarding her. I'll see Alex's friends Thursday and even more of them so I look forward to recapturing the time with them.
I told Eric about how wonderful it was to see Alex this morning. He thought I was nuts. I tried to explain the peace I felt. We get back to reality for a moment in this drama, and he said he was really glad he went and saw him, it did offer peace. See told ya.
DD even made request to add a song to the service, Hey Jude. Which was his nickname. Good on her.
I found out that through Alex's love of Bruddah Iz, a cousin is learning the ukulele and playing Iz's music too. They loved I picked his songs for the viewing and photo show. Thanks IZ.
Everyone needs to watch casketeers.
Eta @HonuNui Thanks for sharing the experience you had. Eric asked me earlier if you have any magical words of wisdom to offer. I said, there are none dingus. It is just miserable. Alexs favorite animal was an otter, I'm thinking of doing something like your rhino.5 -
@Elise4270 I'm sorry you are having to deal with a crazy girlfriend in the middle of everything else. You are handling it well. I do hope, as @Avidkeo said, that you can wash your hands of her once Alex is laid to rest. I hope you and DD can find some time in the near future to just sit down and reminisce about the good times you all had together, shed some tears, scream if you feel like it, and start the healing process.
3 -
-
@elise4270 - what cute otters. Hugs to you this morning. Hope you don't have to face any drama today.
Off topic:
DH went into aFib again. So I am to take him to the urgent care connected to his cardiologist. Neither of us is worried because it is not spiking nearly as bad as in Oct/Nov when he was in the hospital for days. We are just hoping he doesn't have to go into hospital.
I have an interview tomorrow. I sent my resume to a cycling friend, she gave it to someone and he emailed that they are interviewing for a position that he thinks might be a good fit. Looks promising. It is not work from home, which is one of my goals, but I do like what I heard so far. On my refrigerator I have a vision of "work from home for a stable company using my teaching and technology skills". This job would meet 2/3 - and honestly I don't know if they do allow WFH yet. Heard nothing from the resumes I sent out for all the education jobs. I know it can take months but the book I am reading said you must network. So I networked to one person so far.
on topic:
It sounds silly to even say it with all going on in here, but weight is down under 149. My goal at the moment is 148 so I am .3 over! But as ridiculous as it sounds I fear I might be looking too thin with the way my ribs are sticking out. How can 2 pounds make such a difference on someone 5'7"! It should make no difference. Maybe it's that core workout I've been doing for 6 weeks.
semi-on-topic:
I haven't exercised yet which is making me itch to do something. We are leaving for doctor as soon as DH gets the trades in today he needs to do (he's a financial planner). When he had a vasectomy many years ago he was on the phone making trades during the surgery! I couldn't believe it when he told me! Even the doctor was surprised. This was 1993 and people weren't glued to phones the way we are now.
5 -
@shanaber I hope your husband is okay and does NOT have to be hospitalized. That's scary, even if it isn't as bad as before. Yeah for the networking and job interview. Also, Yeah for the weight loss to meet your goal. It must be your core workout that is making you look thinner. I am 5'6", 138 pounds at the moment and you can't see my ribs. Maybe I should start doing some core workouts. Hope you can get in some exercise at some point today.
I went out early again - two days in a row, to get my running in. It was a decent recovery run, despite the fact that it was already 73°F and 89% humidity! It did rain on and off too.
2 -
Shadow threw up again last night. Only once that we know of. She was on top of me all night and decided 4 am was everyone has to get up time. Needless to say I didn't run this morning. She's now sleeping on the couch. She hasn't eaten but she is holding down the probiotics.
So I may run at lunch (97 degrees), strength train or run this evening. Undecided. Leaning towards evening run since I lifted yesterday.
I didn't weigh in Sunday. I had my period and just didn't feel like it.
@elise4270 Wow, I have no words for that woman. Sounds like an attention seeker & will use his death for attention until something else happens.
@ddmom0811 I'm sorry to hear your husband is having issues again. Sending positive vibes your way.
I probably missed something.3 -
@RunsOnEspresso Sorry Shadow is sick again. I hope she feels better. Also hope you can get some sort of workout in today.0
-
@Elise4270 Matt at SouthSeas-Tattoo dot com did mine. I think the shop is open (from quarantine) now, and there is an email address there: he might be willing to do the design for you. Or, you could come here and get it done! For me the important thing is that it is on my chest....so I "see" Steve every time I look in the mirror.
If there are any words of wisdom, I have yet to find them. The ache is constant, sometimes deeper, other times right at the surface. A picture, a smell, a song can be a trigger. Know that I am always ready if you need to vent/cry/scream or just wallow in misery with someone who's been there. PM me or if you want, I am also Honu Nui on FB5 -
@Elise4270 Matt at SouthSeas-Tattoo dot com did mine. I think the shop is open (from quarantine) now, and there is an email address there: he might be willing to do the design for you. Or, you could come here and get it done! For me the important thing is that it is on my chest....so I "see" Steve every time I look in the mirror.
If there are any words of wisdom, I have yet to find them. The ache is constant, sometimes deeper, other times right at the surface. A picture, a smell, a song can be a trigger. Know that I am always ready if you need to vent/cry/scream or just wallow in misery with someone who's been there. PM me or if you want, I am also Honu Nui on FB
Thanks!0
