2020: One Day At A Time, We Will Achieve!!
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As our (Republican) governor says "just wear the damn mask".0
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I definitely need to get back on the diet wagon. I'm starting by having packet day today. I know there will be a blip over Thanksgiving but I can't use that as an excuse to continue not eating on plan between now and then. And I need to mentally be ready to get right back on the wagon after the "holiday".0
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I finally got my Fitbit working again. I’d been slacking off and feeling unmotivated since it died. I’m hoping that getting it working again will improve my efforts.0
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I'm taking my spreadsheet seriously today. Day 1.........
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My dad is in the hospital in PA. My baby brother, who's his POA under the living will, called me last night to let me know. Putting the pieces together we think he was trying to hide that he was sick so he could die at home. He didn't want to go in the ambulance. Congestive heart failure, liver failure, kidney failure and I don't know what else. The doctor told my brother that he had a "slim chance" of survival if drastic measures were taken including surgery and other things. Then we're guessing if that "slim chance" happened he'd have to go to a nursing home, at least for awhile. None of it sounds like anything he'd want. My other brother was supposedly calling my sister in Arizona to get her to weigh in. Apparently my baby brother was allowed to visit him. That shocks me - I didn't think any hospitals anywhere were letting in visitors. But DH reminded me just how "red" Gettysburg is. He is adamantly opposed to me visiting and I suspect my cardiologist would be as well. I just hope I can live with myself if I don't.0
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Can your brother set up face timing with your dad for you? You could at least talk to him. If not, how about a phone call? Your brother is giving you good advice about not coming to the hospital for a visit. You are high risk yourself. You could bring Covid back to your husband. You have nothing to feel guilty about. Please stay home.0
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Maryanne, I’m so sorry to hear how ill your father is. Around here, patients with illnesses other than COVID are allowed to have visitors as long as the visitor doesn’t have a fever, wears a mask, etc. I think most hospitals are restricting it to only 1 visitor at a time. He is probably on a unit that is segregated from any COVID patients, so your risk of contracting the virus from visiting him probably isn’t much higher than going to the grocery store, as long as you’re careful about not touching surfaces, washing your hands, and wearing your mask. If you really feel you need to see him, I think it can be done safely.0
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My brother tells me he's not coherent. They've started him on morphine since in accordance with his condition and his living will there's not going to be any treatment. DH and my sister tell me that morphine is how doctors ease people out of this world. Given everything that's wrong with him I guess we can only hope he goes quickly.0
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Maryanne, I’m so sorry about your dad’s condition. I pray his passing will be quick and painless.0
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Maryanne--I am so, so sorry! Cherish the memories; there are not sufficient words!0
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Dad died overnight. My baby brother said he went from incoherent to non responsive. I assume that was the morphine. So he didn't manage to die at home but only spent one full night and day in the hospital.0
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Maryanne--Again, I am so sorry. It is always difficult at any time but to lose a parent near a holiday adds to it.0
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Maryanne, I am so sorry for your loss. It’s a blessing that he went so quickly, but I’m sure you were not prepared since you didn’t know how sick he was. I pray your many happy memories will bring you comfort.0
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Maryanne, I’m so sorry about your dad’s passing. I’m also sorry you didn’t have more time to prepare yourself. Your dad probably had the best of intentions in keeping his medical condition from the family. That’s not uncommon for people to think they are sparing the family pain. Actually, it just delays the pain until after the person has died. Sharing memories with your sister and brother will help you get through this.0
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Since none of us have kids and we have no cousins, this branch of the family tree now begins and ends with the four of us. That feels weird.
I've talked to each of them today. I can't remember ever talking to all 3 siblings in one day other than a holiday. I broke the news to my sister after my brother failed to call her. Contacted dad's attorney to reassure the older of the two brothers that he really doesn't have to leave the house for 6 months (he's going to go to Arizona to live with my sister since he has neither the physical or the financial ability to care for the house). Suggested he might want to put a lock on the door of his room for when the bank starts showing potential buyers through and just succeeded in pissing him off for some unknown reason. Praised my baby brother several times for stepping up to the plate in the last few days but told him, no, there will be no memorial service until after the pandemic (we aren't going to host our own super spreader event). Gave each of them a lecture about seeing a cardiologist (two parents and an older sister with heart problems, duh). All during breaks from taking our Jack to the internist and fielding client and colleague emails. I am woman, hear me roar!
I am tired. I may eat chocolate tonight.0 -
Definitely, eat the chocolate. Sometimes we just need something sweet to help us through the hard parts. That’s nice that your sister invited your brother out to Arizona to live with her. Will your younger brother keep an eye on him until he relocates? I’m glad you have each other.
There are five siblings in my family. Two sisters had children. My brother, another sister and I didn’t have children. We live in different states. Because of the physical distances between us, I’m not that close to my nieces. I love them but rarely see them.0 -
I'm sure we'll all check in with him. It's weird. He actually has an ivy league education but just was never able to get it together to make anything of himself. My baby brother OTOH never managed to finish college but finally got a job as a surveyor. He became management, married, and bought a house. I think they both struggled with teachers, family members, and townsfolk comparing them to their older sisters.0
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Are you the oldest child? I know you’re a lawyer. What did your sister do for a profession? Your baby brother sounds like he was very self motivated. I hope your other brother was happy even if he wasn’t able to be professionally successful.0
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I am the dreaded oldest child (as is DH). My sister got a Ph.D. in inorganic chemistry from CalTech and ended up working most of her career at Rohm & Haas in Philly. Exactly what did an inorganic chemist do for them? Eventually management. What I really remember is how shocked she was after going through the Ph.D. process to find out what inorganic chemists do in the "real world".
"Rohm and Haas Company is a manufacturer of speciality chemicals for end use markets such as building and construction, electronic devices, packaging, household and personal care products."0
