Food inspiration, or what's for supper?
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I have a pretty good idea about the tricks, PAV. For me the most realistic one is not to have those kinds of food in the house. Yesterday I walked in the pouring rain to buy that cake...I was in a pretty down state of mind...really really hankering for cake for hours, all afternoon...finally gave in and told myself I was going to share it with friends in the evening...told them I'd be bringing cake (for insurance)...yet I still ate the entire cake in an incredibly short period of time.
Alas, I am usually not in such a crappy state of mind so hopefully there will not be a repeat.
And, it was pretty embarrassing to admit I had eaten the entire cake and had none to share as promised.
This on the tail of making some significant food shifts - and not doing it particularly well - nor doing a good job of "feeding" myself well.
But - on what I thought would be a brighter side (supposed to be!) I did buy plane tickets to go visit The Boy and his parents in Newfoundland next week. I promised I'd see him when the snow was gone - but I have no idea how treatment for the big C is going to go when my nice little "healing bubble" is over in two weeks so I thought I should go now.
Admitting that level of reality into my mind hit like a big rock. Instead of being happy I took a little spin the other way. But that is settling now - and so far today I have been on more level ground. Might even do something with that kale (and cauliflower and broccoli
) in the fridge.
Watch out bunnies
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You just go and enjoy your trip to Newfoundland!
The treatment will be what it is and you can get through it. Your cancer was caught early and I’m sure like most women you’ll manage. Not happily but you will do it. I’m sure there are support groups available that can provide support and advice. Please seek them out for your peace of mind.
And lay off the cakes girl! If food solved all our problems we’d be absolutely giddy every day. ❣️❣️❣️❣️❣️1 -
Smart Yooly, I agree0
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Almost every day I've been on the bright side of this. The past few days is really the first time I've actually started to wrap my head around where I'm at. Reality must be faced. To try to pretend everything is fine isn't any healthier than pretending it isn't happening. I hope I've caught it early. I'll find out in two weeks. Fingers crossed.
But no matter what, cake will not help
Or maybe it did 2 -
Okay I’ll grant you the cake might have helped a bit. But surely not the whole thing because it left you with yet another thing to be unhappy about.
Waiting on pathology is awful! No getting around the weeks of anxiety. I’ve always done better being informed rather than waiting.
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Hey guys, I'm feeling a bit battered here. I'll know where not to fess up to any eating indiscretions in the future.
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I hope I haven’t been too hard on you! You are going through a rough time. I think sometimes written words are harsher than those spoken? There’s no tone of voice or facial expression.
Please know I’ve been there and fully understand. We all need a safe confessional and hopefully this is that safe place.0 -
??? Laurie? That's inner bad hamster voice talking! 🙀
I don't think anyone of us, including myself, is berating you for eating cake for kitten's sake!
I may be betraying myself for diving into a bag of easter egg chocolate I didn't need to buy, but let's face it, it would be pretty lame if I was berating others for what I do myself.
Sharing what sometimes works? Absolutely! That's how we learn hamster tricks from each other!
But do remember that we often post and talk with only partial information on hand
Think on this:
Laurie: yesterday I ate an over 4,000 Cal of crap nutrition food and I'm angry at myself for eating an extra soup and breadsticks for no real reason
Think on your reaction and what you will post back.....
Now second go:
Laurie: yesterday (same stuff I wrote above) while at the olive garden for my father's birthday where half the guests didn't show up because of in family COVID!
Would what you be making changes to your post?😝
So. I'm just sending a big hug to you and confirming that waiting weeks for results is like Ugh!
I'm just amazed how together you've been! So much so I was not even processing that you're just a tiny bit stressed 💞1 -
Sorry, y'all. I'm just feeling a bit sensitive.
If you have been here, Yooly, you know that there is a moment when it hits you. Somewhere between the oblivious denial and feeling sorry for oneself there is a moment of awareness of how your life will never be the same again.
I'm not a sad person. Nor am I delusional
That cake was not a good dinner for many reasons. But it was what it was and this is the only place where people might understand that type of excessive consumption so I dropped in my "confession" and carried on with my day with my new breakfast and plans for the veggies waiting in the fridge.
My regular eating friends find it incomprehensible that I could eat an entire cake.
I am pleased I stopped at one.
I will focus on eating healthy food and reducing my deficit to give my body all it needs to heal and fight and to prevent urges to binge.
But, should I be hit with a new level of awareness that I as of yet have no inkling of, another cake might be in my future. I will try to time the purchase a bit better so that I will share it.
Hopefully there will be much healthy eating (at a modest deficit) between these epiphanies.2 -
What's strange about eating a cake?
(is that a weird statement to make?)0 -
PAV, there are weird people out there making way weirder statements.
I saw an addictions counsellor when I was struggling a bit 6 months after quitting smoking. I admitted to eating a 6 pack of donuts. He was SHOCKED. REALLY SHOCKED.
Suggested that this indicated I had been sexually abused as a child.
This man happened to be in a very high position in an internationally renowned addictions and mental health hospital - spearheading a new clinic devoted to nicotine addiction.
The closest I can remember to sexual abuse as a child was my dad bringing home a chocolate bar for me on pay days.
SIX donuts!1 -
Is that more or less than a 40 pack of Tim bits? What happens if you then add a few from the 40 pack that was going to the other people?????🙀
Does this ALSO mean that my previous dog needed counseling? Because it's entirely possible he ate most of a 40 pack and would have not voluntarily stopped on his own!1 -
My heart just hurt 😞 knowing I may have added to Laurie’s emotional burden. Honestly the very thought kept me up at night. How could I have been so insensitive? I will try to do better and not be so glib in the future.
Anyone needing to lose 75 pounds or more can relate to episodes of crazy out of control binges. We’ve all done it and more than once. Sometimes the sadness is so great that at least there’s some comfort in the excess food. It numbs the ache but afterward there’s the self hate...
And yes, I am a member of the boobs-of-different-sizes club. Precancerous papillomas. Implants of titanium markers of suspicious areas. And several biopsys and pathology waits. One surgery was fairly easy except for the wait. The second developed a huge hematoma requiring an an emergency room visit where I bled on everything in sight. It took a month to heal and I had drainage tubes installed. Bugger just kept swelling and filling up with fluid.
I promise to think before posting and hopefully am forgiven.
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I hope Laurie realizes that I missed the mark/underlying text before and was not trying to add to her turmoil.
I tend to pull these things in the middle of the night, so no access to cake. Just whatever is available at open fast food and convenience locations or already at home!2 -
XOXO
I love you guys and I know your hearts are always in the right place and I'm just super sensitive at the moment ❤️ and I haven't really spoken about any of the stuff going on in my mind because it seems best not to think about it and most of the time I don't.
The next step on the cancer treatment front is radiation once I'm all healed up. So long as Mr Conservative surgeon man lopped off enough of Magdalena🤞🏻 and the lymph nodes they took out are all clear it will stop there.
But I don't know how long it will take to shake the fear that there's still some of it inside of me waiting to kill me - now that the fear has made its way through my bullheadedness. A whole cake coma might be the only thing capable of putting it out of my mind (just kidding bourbon might work too with fewer calories 😁 three shots and I'll be asleep for sure). Actually that idea is already losing its power...when I think about it I just sort of say yeah yeah to myself rather than getting freaked. Most people do survive breast cancer.
But ... PAV ... I'm afraid your pup may have been sexually abused as a child. That's the only thing that explains the eating of so many deep fried edibles.
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Ended up double booked for lunch today which blew the calories out of sight. I was bringing Easter flowers to a 90 year old friend and specifically asked that she not set out food because I was making lunch for son later. I arrived to find the table set and expensive store bought quiches warmed up. How do I refuse her hospitality when I know meager pension funds went to pay for those calorific quiches? And cookies too! And a to-go box cause I didn’t eat enough!
Back home an hour later I made a special lunch for son and hubby. It was a meal I had logged and looked forward to all week. Had some of that too.
I cut back on dinner but still way over.
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Sounds like you were kind of stuck between a rock and a hard place, Yooly.2
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I've done that! And for less reasons!0
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The Famers's Market was so nice! I spent way too much money but I couldn't help it. Fresh greens, micrograms, green onions, mushrooms, cheese, pasta, cider, and even an almond croissant (my weakness).
So my meal plan will be (in no order):
Steak, baked potato, and roasted zucchini (got a tbone for 50% off at the store)
Fresh Ricotta ravioli with tomato sauce, spinach, and peas
Falafel bowls with greens, micro greens, green onions, delicata squash, fresh goat feta, and hummus
Chicken, mushroom, and zucchini stir fry with rice
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These sound delicious! Do you plan for one "big" meal per day and have standard go to items for the other meals or ?1
