Shape Shifters Team Chat - JUNE 2023
Replies
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I can't find the link to week 3. can someone repost it please.2
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steps for Monday 19th 11959
Tuesday 20th 10918
I got a new job where I'm on my feet walking for 8 hours 3 days a week. yay me! my feet are hurting but I'm loving it.5 -
Can I ask for some advise?
How do you end a friendship? I mean it’s already over but I need closure. This is my only friend, and has been my friend since 11th grade 20 some odd years ago
She stop including me in her life just before COVID. I made a point of reaching out and visiting her both at the farmers market, stopped by her new storefront when it opened etc. unfortunately the economy closed her side business down so that’s been hard for her I’m guessing. I wouldn’t really know because she doesn’t talk to me about anything personal anymore. (I don’t offer unsolicited advise, I listen, I don’t turn it around and make it about me) so I don’t think that’s why.
Any ways, I reached out about a year ago and said I missed the friendship we had. She said she does too, sorry she doesn’t reach out much, I’m her “person” (Greys Anatomy reference). But when I try to make plans they never go anywhere. We don’t talk on the phone, we don’t text etc.
sometimes I wonder if her new husband is controlling? I don’t really know him. I’ve only met him a couple times but got some bad vibes from him.
I feel like I need to say goodbye, but leave the door open to reach out to me if she ever needs anything. Maybe the husband is an issue 🤷♀️ and she needs help.
I also can’t keep getting birthday flowers and happy Mother’s Day texts from her either. They make me so sad.
I am sorry for the long post. I don’t know what to do
Hi @CasandraW ! I can tell from the way you discuss this that you're really struggling wanting to make the right decision...and you're working you're way through it all.
The one thing I know is that friends come into your life for a season...may be short or may be long, but there's usually a purpose for it...if not on both sides, at least on one. Sounds like to me you've out-grown this friendship and it won't be as difficult for you to let this one go, because it sounds like she's making some unhealthy choices or dealing with some issues that aren't healthy.
Never EVER feel bad about pulling yourself out of a toxic relationship. Just realize that you're stepping away to take care of yourself...and just close that door. Walk away and don't look back. She'll be fine and so will you.
Take care,
Jessica6 -
alleykat69 wrote: »I can't find the link to week 3. can someone repost it please.
I'm assuming you mean the week 3 Group Challenge? I'm not hosting it this week, but here's the link:
https://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10892867/june-week-3-challenge-share-your-favorite-recipes#latest
Jessica1 -
alleykat69 wrote: »steps for Monday 19th 11959
Tuesday 20th 10918
I got a new job where I'm on my feet walking for 8 hours 3 days a week. yay me! my feet are hurting but I'm loving it.
Missing your steps @alleykat69 for the 18th. Please post. Thanks! CONGRATS on the new job! Wow, look at those steps...make sure you have good arch support shoes...love my Vionics!
Jessica2 -
Wed Check-in
Doctor's appointment went great...weight came down since my last visit...she LOVED my 48 days of 10k steps per day and that being my new daily step goal. We talked for a bit about why I feel that my weight got out of hand way back when (early high school) and discussed my grief over the loss of my dad. Food became my friend...we set new goals for my next appt in six months. No adjustment to medications...blood work looked good.
Thanks for the positive thoughts and vibes today...I felt it. One thing she said is that she can tell how much better I'm feeling by the way I move... made me smile!
Jessica10 -
EDITED — Oops! I should have checked to see if anyone had already replied to your request @allycat69. @jessicakrall8 and @Pupowl are always watching out for us! Thank you!! 🙏🏼
Here’s the Week 3 Challenge link:Megan_smartiepants1970 wrote: »https://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10892867/june-week-3-challenge-share-your-favorite-recipes#latest.... Have fun sharing your favorite recipes1 -
Mid-week check-in. I started using my exercise bike over the past couple of days, just to switch things up a little (again, thanks for the tips everyone.
I like to watch SpinJunkie videos on YouTube for bike workouts. She does what's called "rhythm rides" where you pedal to the beat of the music. Riding along to the music makes it so much easier to keep up a pace, in my experience. Plus I like her personality, she seems very genuine.4 -
@jessicakrall8 Wonderful news about your doctor’s visit!!! I know going can be stressful. It sounds like she is supportive and encouraging, and you’ve been putting in all the hard work!!👏👏👏👏👏2
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Good morning Shape Shifters. Here is todays card. Happy Thursday everyone2
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dancingonstarz wrote: »Mid-week check-in. I started using my exercise bike over the past couple of days, just to switch things up a little (again, thanks for the tips everyone.
I like to watch SpinJunkie videos on YouTube for bike workouts. She does what's called "rhythm rides" where you pedal to the beat of the music. Riding along to the music makes it so much easier to keep up a pace, in my experience. Plus I like her personality, she seems very genuine.
Thank you for the recommendation, I’m definitely going to check this out
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@jessicakrall8 I’m glad to hear your doctors appointment went well, it sounds like your hard work is really paying off. Well done, be proud2
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Here’s my weekly weigh-in report:
Name: PatriceFitnessPal
Weigh-in Day: Thursday
PW: 135.6
CW: 135.2
SW: 168
LtD: 32.8
Let’s go, Shape Shifters!5 -
@CasandraW
I am so sorry to hear about your friendship struggles. All I can do is relate it to some my own personal friendship struggles. For me, sometimes a little space helps.
@nancyinmo Congratulations! How exciting!
@jessicakrall8 Congrats on the positive doctor's appointment. For me, you can't beat a piece of lettuce as a sub for bread ....2 -
Morning Everyone,
June 19 Steps= 8651
June 20 Steps= 11,303
June 21 Steps= 10,686
Going to a CFL Football game this Saturday in Calgary with 7 other friends and family, should be nice weather. I love watching sports live, the atmosphere is so fun! Have a great Day everyone.
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Nooo...tomorrow is work day slay. First day back in 10 days. BUUUT, my meal prep is done for the most part and I've got my lunch ready to go. Whew! I've got turkey tacos for my main meal for a few days and a salad with a protein at night for the next few evenings.4
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@cassandraw, I'm sorry to hear that about your main friendship. PBut stepping away from a friendship that's been in place for a very long time can be hard to do. And like Jessica said, sometimes friendships can be there for a season. You have said you've gotten really bad vibes from the new husband, our bodies have a way of letting us know when something or even so.e one isn't right. This might be the time for you to get out and find new friends or activities 🤔 in the mean time. Help to adjust to a new new so to speak. You've got to take care of you...it's just not a physical journey but also one for your mental, emotional, and can be a spiritual journey as well.3
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Thanks to everyone for their kind words on my doctor's appt yesterday. I'm glad she was positive and even though everything wasn't perfect and I wish I'd lost more, I lost some and have made tons of positive changes during the past six months. I'm glad she discussed setting new goals with me and she was GREATLY encouraging about my walking and positive habits. To hear her tell me she could tell I was feeling better just by the way I was carrying myself and moving...that just made my day.
I'm really grateful to those of you who whispered a prayer or thought of me during that stressful hour! Thanks!
Jessica6 -
Username: kcpond
Weigh-in day: Thursday
PW: 239.9
CW: 237
Oops, I forgot to log my weight from last week.3 -
@CasandraW - There’s no need to apologize for a long post. This is our space to support and encourage one another and we are all welcome to engage as much - or as little (but I hope as “much”) as it feels right/ comfortable. Of course, I’m the queen of long posts so others may feel differently … but here goes my long reply ! 😬
I’m sorry your friend has been so distant after years of sharing a close relationship. It seems natural to me that you are experiencing strong feelings of grief and loss about the change in your friendship. If you think you need to say “goodbye” in order to have a sense of closure, I think it’s a valid response.
As @jessicakrall8 noted, if you feel you need to step away in order to take care of yourself, especially if you think it’s a toxic relationship, then that makes complete sense. I’m not sure if it would help to think through some “dialogue” scenarios.
Are you planning to talk to your estranged friend or do you prefer to just let the friendship run it’s course?
If she were my friend, I think I would try to arrange a time to meet in person, if possible. It’s definitely common for people to adjust their rhythm of interaction with friends when they enter a marriage or committed partnership, but it sounds as though you suspect her new husband might be isolating her. In that case, I like your idea to “leave the door open” in case she needs help. I’d probably keep up some low level or interaction - like a holiday or birthday card once a year - to keep the lines of communication open in case she is in danger of any future abuse.
I also agree with you that she is probably facing some additional challenges, since she had to close her business due to the downturn of the economy. If you want closer, you might say something like — I’ve been reaching out to you because I miss the way we used to talk more regularly about personal subjects that felt special to us. You said I was “your person” and I felt that way, too. Even our shared connection about things like that line from Grey’s Anatomy made me smile and think of you. I know you’ve experienced a lot of life changes, and maybe our relationship doesn’t feel as important to you as it once did. It hurts, but I can understand it, and it would help me to know so I can step away to process the loss and move on.
In the last year, I feel as though our exchanges have become more perfunctory and superficial. Sometimes I feel you’re trying to keep some kind of connection going but I actually feel sad when I get a quick Happy Mother’s Day greeting but we don’t talk more deeply about our lives. Even though I can appreciate it, I don’t want to have my hopes of reigniting our easy friendship of the past — dashed again. So, I just thought I’d try to make a solid plan one last time …
Is it possible for us to commit to some type of regular interaction like a weekly phone call or periodic weekend away [or something else that would work for you @CasandraW]?
I know this is ridiculously long but I got the feeling you were asking for a conversation starter. Feel free to take anything useful and ignore the rest! Best wishes and I hope you’ll keep us updated on how things are going — whether to help process the loss and move on, or work on any next steps in repairing the relationship. Take care! ❤️🩹
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Armygirlarmyof1 wrote: »@cassandraw, I'm sorry to hear that about your main friendship. But stepping away from a friendship that's been in place for a very long time can be hard to do. … You have said you've gotten really bad vibes from the new husband, our bodies have a way of letting us know when something or even someone isn't right.
So true — Your comment reminded me of the book The Body Keeps the Score:
https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/313183/the-body-keeps-the-score-by-bessel-van-der-kolk-md/0 -
Good morning Shape Shifters. Here is todays card. Happy Friday everyone2
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Username: Kodakslim
Weigh-in day: Friday
PW: 157.2
CW: 156.8
Well that wasn’t the weight I was hoping to see today But, it’s a small loss and I’ll take it!8 -
Bearchested
Friday
PW: 187.8
CW: 185.8
LTD: 21.2
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dancingonstarz wrote: »Mid-week check-in. I started using my exercise bike over the past couple of days, just to switch things up a little (again, thanks for the tips everyone.
I like to watch SpinJunkie videos on YouTube for bike workouts. She does what's called "rhythm rides" where you pedal to the beat of the music. Riding along to the music makes it so much easier to keep up a pace, in my experience. Plus I like her personality, she seems very genuine.
Music makes exercising so much more fun for me! The time flies and I enjoy moving to the beat. I don’t have a stationary bike at home but I’ll try to remember to tune into SpinJunkie videos when I use the exercise bike at the gym. Thanks for taking time to share the recommendation @dancingonstars!
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@SavageMrsMoose
Friday Weigh Ins
PW: 137.8
CW: 137.4
Total Loss: 35.2
A little frustrating, this is my highest weight since Sunday. I try to weigh every day. I'm so close to my goal of 135, but I was closer on Wednesday morning and then kind of blew it. Hopefully, I'll have a better weekend.
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pedal__power
Fridays
PW 201.6
CW 202.6
steps
6/20 13,510
6/21 14,459
6/22 12,245
I've been doing better with food tracking and not snacking after dinner in the evening, but we ate out a few times this week to celebrate Father's day and some birthdays and I'm seeing that on the scale today. My weight keeps creeping up and I need to get back to concentrate on nutrition and cutting down my calories.
This morning I enjoyed a 25min jog with my dog and then went for a 45min bike ride. I love a good sweaty workout before starting work.4 -
ganival
friday
PW 174.0
CW 173.6
I'll take this loss and be happy about it. Have been weight training so my muscles are in a perpetual state of slightly sore but I love it. The skin on my legs is looking wrinkly which to me is a good sign that body fat is going down. Now to just stay on track for the weekend! Have a nice one Shape Shifters.7 -
Cre804
Friday
PW 188.0
CW 187.0
LTD 50.5
I saw my primary care physician yesterday. She was pleased with my labs and not worried about the kidney numbers. I’ve been having increased issues with lightheadedness upon standing, and we agreed that it was probably because of the weight loss. She took me off my blood pressure medicine!
I’ve also been dealing with some mild positional vertigo and she found some fluid in my ears that may be the culprit so I got a prescription for that.
Now for the challenge: my husband is out of town for a week, so I’ve been eating at all the places he doesn’t like. I don’t want to undo all my progress so I’m trying to be focused and intentional on eating. For example, yesterday I ordered a salad, chips and guac at Chipotle, but only ate half last night, then I’ll have the rest for lunch today. I’m really trying to listen to my hunger and fullness cues because I think that’s been the most helpful for me. I think I became more cognizant of those cues after my surgery, and I don’t want to lose them.6 -
Daily step goal: 10,000
Tue 6/20: 10,103
Wed 6/21: 10,933
Thu 6/22: 12,0584
This discussion has been closed.