Online Dating
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Hello Everyone
I am currently on eharmony -on and off for about 6 months- and have been on one date only..3 months ago! He is a lawyer. We chatted up a bit through email and after careful consideration I decided it was time to meet. He researched the area, chose a rustic french restaurant and made reservations. He also offered to pick me up, however, I politely declined. Naturally, my pleasure receptors were firing up. I have a weakness for chivalry and thought he was a gentleman.
I show up looking my best (yes, I was wearing my Fat *kitten* costume like the pic..haha). He says he is on his way, was stuck in traffic etc etc. I'm thinking the excuse is valid - NY is quite hectic. He shows up 15 mins late smelling like KUSH! He was lighting up in the car!! Word to da muthaship!
I went through with dinner. He was quite pleasant but I couldn't shake off the fact that he is a bit to selfish for me. I mean, why not share?!
In all honesty though, I was turned off and thought he was much too preoccupied with himself and a megalomaniac. There are so many of those here in NY. I am originally from eastern Europe and find NY guys to be a bit too rough and tactless. Currently, I am noticing the trend of followers on EH is mostly lawyers, finance/corporate guys which can be further grouped in the MORON category. Pompous does not equal confident.
Anyway, gonna give it a try until the subscription expires - this was a birthday gift from my best friend following the dissolution of a 7 yr relationship.
I enjoyed everyone's posts! Truly happy to have found such humorous and positive people here.
best of luck to all on the jurney to a healthier and beautiful YOU!
elle0 -
Pof, never worked for me. Too many shirtless dudes sending penis pics to chicks and the women would get discouraged and delete their accounts before I get a chance to chat with them. D*amn those idiots.
True, those guys ruin it for EVERYONE!0 -
Hello Everyone
I am currently on eharmony -on and off for about 6 months- and have been on one date only..3 months ago! He is a lawyer. We chatted up a bit through email and after careful consideration I decided it was time to meet. He researched the area, chose a rustic french restaurant and made reservations. He also offered to pick me up, however, I politely declined. Naturally, my pleasure receptors were firing up. I have a weakness for chivalry and thought he was a gentleman.
I show up looking my best (yes, I was wearing my Fat *kitten* costume like the pic..haha). He says he is on his way, was stuck in traffic etc etc. I'm thinking the excuse is valid - NY is quite hectic. He shows up 15 mins late smelling like KUSH! He was lighting up in the car!! Word to da muthaship!
I went through with dinner. He was quite pleasant but I couldn't shake off the fact that he is a bit to selfish for me. I mean, why not share?!
In all honesty though, I was turned off and thought he was much too preoccupied with himself and a megalomaniac. There are so many of those here in NY. I am originally from eastern Europe and find NY guys to be a bit too rough and tactless. Currently, I am noticing the trend of followers on EH is mostly lawyers, finance/corporate guys which can be further grouped in the MORON category. Pompous does not equal confident.
Anyway, gonna give it a try until the subscription expires - this was a birthday gift from my best friend following the dissolution of a 7 yr relationship.
I enjoyed everyone's posts! Truly happy to have found such humorous and positive people here.
best of luck to all on the jurney to a healthier and beautiful YOU!
elle
When i was on eHarmony for a short period of time I found the guys I was matched with to be really judgmental. Be talking to someone for a while, and then they see a picture of you and poof! Really didn't make the experience good.0 -
So I decided to delete my accounts. I was using both OKCupid and POF for quite a while, not getting anything worthwhile for all my efforts. I'd never get responses from the girls I was attracted to and had a lot in common, and continually got contacted by women I had no attraction to and even less in common with. I have had numerous friends tell me I take horrible pictures on the sites, so I am working with a friend of mine who is a professional photographer to take some pictures for me, and then I will redo the profile. Also getting ready for the 15k run I have coming up in like 8 weeks is going to take up a lot of my time. So I'll worry more about dating and all that jazz after I get done.
Personally I just have no idea what was wrong with the profiles where I wouldn't get responses. Maybe I do just look like Shrek.
lol 0 -
I deleted my profiles and hid the one on POF.
The casual dating thing wasn't me but I'm not looking for anything serious yet I started to like someone and he stressed me out so I'm done! I only did it for like a month lolol. But I'm going to focus on myself right now.
I just need to meet people and have fun.. not online.0 -
My experience has been so-so. I'm on OKC now, but have only gotten one date out of it (well, to-be date, we go out next week). I have similar problems mentioned here; a lot of times the matches I get or the guys who are viewing me aren't what I'm looking for (usually way too young or too old or don't live in my state). I've had a few start contact with me, but then it just becomes an email exchange that goes nowhere... I'm not looking for an email pen pal. Several years ago I did Match, and I actually got some decent dates out of that one... but right now I'm trying to save for a house so I don't want to spend money signing up for something like that or eHarmony. (although, I tried eharmony years ago and it rejected me!! :blushing: )
That said... I have a friend who met her hubby through eHarmony, two friends who met their hubbies through Match, one friend who is in a relationship from Match, and my little brother got married in October to a lovely girl he met on OKCupid. So I think there is a lot of opportunity there... But generally for me, I've had the most success when I've met the guy in person... so will probably stick to that.0 -
My online dating experience was AWFUL!!! I will never do it again, and will never recommend it to anyone I know! If you've had a good experience then I give ya props, b/c apparently I attract the wrong kind of guy! And being a mom I feel the need to be extra careful, and yes I will Google your name until I can't Google anymore! LOL! In doing this I found out A LOT about the men that were pursuing me and then they were history!
There was a registered sex offender, a guy with a domestic assault on his record, a criminal, a guy that was a swinger and wanted me to join the lifestyle (um, no thanks!)... I could go on and on and on, but I won't bore y'all too much, LOL! Just be careful if it's something you choose to do! Good luck! 0 -
I've tried it and it is not my cup of tea. I felt like it was to rushed for me. You have to filter out the hook ups, even if they say they weren't there for that. Honestly I'm a chicken sh** and I don't know what possessed me to do it but I can say I did and it was not for me.0
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What do you mean it's rushed??
I'm trying to come up with what I thought about it... I can't really put it into words.0 -
Just joined this group today...this thread is pretty amusing. After a 4.5 year relationship ended in Dec. 2010 (met him online...anyone remember hotornot.com? LOL), I joined Match, Okcupid, and POF in 2011. I may have gone a bit overboard with my new freedom and became a serial dater. I actually counted 30 different men that I met in person just from online last year. Needless to say, my girl friend told me I overdosed. So no more online dating for me for a while. One good thing that came out of it was the boost in confidence and I no longer have trouble approaching men in "real" life though. ^_^
Also, check out the article in the link below...most of it is so true, I found myself laughing through it.
http://www.cnn.com/2011/TECH/social.media/08/24/online.dating.messages.netiquette/index.html?hpt=hp_bn70 -
30!? OMG I've only met 5 in seven MONTHS! WOW! I think my mom's right-I AM too picky !
LOL Bruin-that article is HILARIOUS!0 -
Hahahah, I know right.
Well, I'm actually pretty picky myself...probably why I went through 30 and didn't find any I really liked! LOL. I know looks definitely do matter but for you ladies, don't be toooo put off if a guy's photos aren't the beeest; I've found that almost all of these guys look better in person than they do in their profiles. We have the Kardashians teaching us how to pose, but who's teaching these guys? Bathroom torso pics...or any bathroom pics, pics from below so we can see your nostrils, pics in your room where we can see how messy you are, pics of you drunk with 3 skanky girls on your arms = No Bueno! Haha.0 -
Gosh, I could write a book about online dating! I've been at it for about 10 years (on and off) and there are so many stories.....*sigh
I've met some really great guys, fell in love big time (once), had flings, made good friends, have been disappointed, shocked, surprised and even scared (but that was only once!). But most of the time, I've met a bunch of weirdo's! Not my cup of tea at all, even though they ticked all the boxes with their profile, look and initial contact.
All in all, I dont think its a good way to meet people. Not for me anyhow. I think its just too harsh and unnatural. You judge people, and are judged, in the space of a few texts and few hours. And most of the time we are wrong in our assessment. Unless you both get that instant rush of hormones, then its easy to 'puff'! I've done it, and I've had it done to me!
I'm with Cal now, I think its better to meet like minded people through mutual interests, or work, and then take it from there. Have a chance to get to know each other before 'dating' even enters your mind. Then you naturally fall for someone .....
But hey, it does work for some people, some people are just lucky I suppose, so you gotta suck it and see!! :bigsmile:0 -
I have a profile on one I had some good dates some bad met a few guys dated them but in the long run it never worked out so idk it works for some people0
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I had zero luck on OKcupid but i had some luck on POF.
Just deleted my account on POF though, way too many creeps and it really does get discouraging when almost every message is some guy trying to get in your pants...
but I have been talking to one guy from pof and so far he's pretty great but we haven't met in person yet. He lives 2 hours from me
We text alllll day everyday though and he's the first guy i've talked to that can truly hold a conversation and keep me interested! He's sweet, funny, absolutely handsome and has a great heart. Hoping he's as great in person :-) 0 -
My experience keeps getting more weird every week.
I went out with a guy I really liked. After the fourth date, a couple friend of mine asked me to dinner for a Friday night. So I asked the guy I'd been seeing. Apparently it freaked him out because he ended us seeing each other further (this was the via text guy, nice).
Fast forward a couple weeks. I was going to have a first date with someone tomorrow, but he has now cancelled. Why? Because I told him I'm not on Match to search for a husband and don't know if I want to get married again. He's looking for a relationship that will lead to marriage.
So Man A isn't interested in me because I wanted him to meet some friends. And Man B isn't interested because I didn't seem like I'd be committed enough. Wow. Sooooooooooooo confusing.0 -
I have been on a lot of them but you can't do much unless you pay. I have not had much luck and never met anyone yet.0
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Very rarely do I ever see a woman on a dating site looking for a relationship. Its usually looking for fun which means wine and dine and nothing physical or they are new in town, or married looking for friends. Im looking for a relationship. @Jill, im sorry, you deserve better. Those two are idiots.0
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So, is it bad to talk to more than one person at the same time from one of those sites? I actually had a couple of guys cancel on me before we even met up because they asked if I was talking to anyone else. I'm a horrible liar, so I generally never even try. The first guy told me "I'm not interested in joining a fan club; have a nice life". The second guy asked how long he should let me continue to see other guys before he put his foot down and told me no more (ok, he didn't cancel on me; I cancelled on him -- wayy too controlling for someone I hadn't even met).
So, all that to say, is it wrong to see more than one person at a time when it's still in the "casual" phase?0 -
I was on OkCupid for awhile and liked it in general, but I didn't enjoy the lack of privacy - way too many chances of "running into" someone you know in real life. There wasn't even a way to block a member without them seeing that you'd seen them, so once I saw my brother's picture on the sidebar, I called it quits. They REALLY need a way to fix that!
I joined Match because I thought the privacy factor would be better on a paying site. I have talked to a few guys but I always seem to lose interest after a couple of e-mails. I guess the chemistry isn't there in writing, which makes me reluctant to try it out in person. I did go on a couple of dates with a guy who was very nice, but the chemistry wasn't there at all and by the second date I think we both knew it, because neither of us contacted each other again after that!
My current dilemma on Match is that, just like on OkCupid, I have seen two guys I know in real life, and I have no idea how to handle it. It's like the elephant in the room. The one guy is a blast from the past, so it's not neccesarily a big deal, but the other guy is an acquaintance who I see on a semi-regular basis. I would actually like to date him, but now I can't decide if it's too weird - should I approach it online, or in real life? I don't really know him well enough to talk about this in person, yet I know him too well to just throw him a "wink" on a website.
I thought online dating was going to be easier than "traditional" dating - ha!0
