I have a crush.

La_Amazona

It mostly hurt my ego mostly.

So I observed 2 things...

*I had a "feeling" all along or a "fear" that he liked me as a friend only. I guess it was my gut.

*Also, we talked about it in pretty great detail. I told him how initially I saw him as a friend but when I met him, the whole friend thing plus attraction equaled crush. What made me like him was how comfortable I was with him. Still am!! I can tell him anything. For him, he says he feels the same way BUT being that comfortable equaled friendship for him. He says if he liked me like that, he would have had a filter up. I think you should be able to tell your SO anything but whatever!



I'm SO proud of myself for talking about it. He's a nice guy but just not the one for me... we're still hanging out here and there so we'll be seeing each other.

PedmomJill

Aw I'm sorry it didn't work out how you wanted it to La. Good attitude though! You will be fine. And now you have a new friend.

jenbit

I know how you feel honey.:sad: I'm pretty sure my confused friend who is friends with my ex (my crush) is hiding from me. He didn't come out at all this weekend. I think I'm done waiting for him to get his *kitten* together though. And I'm not texting him til he text me first lol . Oh well

La_Amazona

It's funny how insecure I felt when all the crushing was going on (does he like ME? what does he think of ME??) and today I'm thinking "how can he NOT like ME....MEEEE?" :laugh:

slay0r

I'm really not sure how he doesn't but that's just me I'm not the one there! The only thing I can say is that you'll definitely find someone awesome!

La_Amazona

Also today, I keep replaying everything in my mind. I keep thinking if I would had acted another way maybe he'd like me. or if I would have done this or that.. it'd be different.

It's stupid! I liked him. But he is just a guy.. a nice funny attractive guy. Nothing more. Why does rejection make you question yourself like something is wrong with YOU?

I'm new to this. So not sure if it's normal to do this... but I have a funky feeling in my stomach today. Guess it's my insecurities?

La_Amazona

Also today, I keep replaying everything in my mind. I keep thinking if I would had acted another way maybe he'd like me. or if I would have done this or that.. it'd be different.

It's stupid! I liked him. But he is just a guy.. a nice funny attractive guy. Nothing more. Why does rejection make you question yourself like something is wrong with YOU?

I'm new to this. So not sure if it's normal to do this... but I have a funky feeling in my stomach today. Guess it's my insecurities?

Okay I'm nuts. I went from being shocked he rejected ME to questioning myself.. Oh joy!! lol

slay0r

Also today, I keep replaying everything in my mind. I keep thinking if I would had acted another way maybe he'd like me. or if I would have done this or that.. it'd be different.

It's stupid! I liked him. But he is just a guy.. a nice funny attractive guy. Nothing more. Why does rejection make you question yourself like something is wrong with YOU?

I'm new to this. So not sure if it's normal to do this... but I have a funky feeling in my stomach today. Guess it's my insecurities?

This is why I want to know about mine, so you can improve yourself if there is a reason why. If there isn't then it just wasn't to be. Argh why do we have to analyse everything, does this mean we're out of action for a couple of weeks to lick our wounds? ;p

bregalad5

You were yourself. You acted like yourself. You shouldn't need to change to make a guy like you. If you do, then he doesn't like you for YOU, he likes you for a fake version of you and that just wont work. What happens then when the real you comes out? Try not to think that way. Be yourself. That's the best thing you can be.

La_Amazona

True.. I guess I'm just 2nd guessing myself. I tend to act cool.. I like to have fun. I'm a girly girl but I can get down playing around, hiking, climbing, joking, etc.. Maybe I let off a "buddy" vibe?

Regardless.. what's done is done.



He just texted me his good news about a 2nd interview and it made me sad. Why? I don't know.

I don't think I'm taking rejection very well lol...

slay0r

It's a good sign you're still friends though. If he had wanted to never speak to you again, you could have taken it much worse. Although he's not into you that way, pretty much everyone else will be because they want to be around you! I'd take it as a massive compliment that he wants to keep seeing you as friends anyway just on that basis, obviously thinks you're pretty awesome.

Now get out there and find the guy that does want you, for you and only you. When you do you'll know and you won't have that knot like you did this time, because you'll know he's into you, which will make it all the better for you

La_Amazona

thanks!

agregson1985

ugh i so know how you feel. Just try to be positive! Your beautiful, funny, and outgoing by the sounds of it! And when you meet someone even better then him he will be questioning himself on what hes missing out! We all go through these things to learn and make ourselves stronger, and make yourself happy and the right guy will come to you. But yes the feeling sucks been going through it on and off for two weeks. Fricken rejection can kiss my *kitten* lol

La_Amazona

My former crush and I will be getting together this Wednesday. Remember I mentioned we had plans for some shows coming up? Well I decided to not ask him about it because even though we aren't more than friends, I'm still over thinking everything (haha). I don't want him to get the wrong idea so I've pretty much stopped contacting him. Basically I went from making it obvious I liked him to putting the brakes on suddenly. All of our contact has been him now. He texts me almost everyday and he still calls and we have our hour long conversations.
Anywho, I sent a stupid drunk text on Saturday to him after he texted me about the basketball game going on. He knew I was out partying so we can blame it on the alcohol. It wasn't anything too bad but being ME, I was paranoid so I called him last night to act like nothing and smooth over any confusion. I didn't bring it up, neither did he. We ended up talking about nothing for 2 hours. He then asked me to come with him on Wednesay night to see the show. I said yes.

I'm nervous. I don't know why. I guess it's seeing him again after our conversation. I won't say that I still have feelings for him because I feel like I don't. I mean, he's now in the friends category. I am still physically attracted to him though but hey, we can have hot friends, right?
What I do feel is confused at times. I'm still getting to know him so this could all be normal for him but I don't call guys and talk for hours unless I like them like that. When we do talk, I feel very comfortable, not nervous nor do I feel butterflies. But when I get off the phone and look at the time, I'm shocked that we can talk for so long.
I've stalked him on FB before and I know he had a very good friend (maybe best friend) whom was female so again, maybe he just gets along better with women?

Wednesday will be fun though. It's funny that I overanalyzed everything when I liked him and now that we're friends, I'm still overanalyzing.

catherine4211

I wish I had some words of wisdom for you. I seriously handle rejection MUCH worse now that I'm older. You'd think it would be the opposite. Even when guys I was only killing time with reject me I freak out. And I never wanted them in the first place - why care? I'd like to think I've gotten better but the only reason I think so is because I have totally stopped dating. It's been over a year and a half. I met a friend of a friend on Sunday who asked for my number. There was not one bit of attraction for me other then he has a job. How sad is that? But he seems nice enough so I gave my number. I just wish it could be a guy that is nice with a JOB and one that I want to see naked!! That's how I know if I'm attracted - I ask myself if I'd like to see him naked eventually. So far if the answer has been no and I still pursued it ended up being a disappointment.

Learning2LuvLindsay

I also have a crush and the whole situation is driving me crazy! We have been hanging out since the beginning of November but I’m not totally sure where this whole thing is headed. We talk everyday and hang at least once a week but I’m ready to either take this relationship to the next level and hang out/talk more or move on. His life is very busy at the moment but my life is just as hectic and I manage to make time. To me this is a warning sign that he just isn’t that into me. Yes I read the book and I think it made me even crazier lol! However, I also think I may be over analyzing his actions and he just wants to take things slow. Is three months a long time in dating terms? I’ve always jumped into relationships and obviously none of them worked out so I’m no expert. He did recently invite me to meet the parents so that is a good sign right? Why do men have to me so confusing? I’m wondering if I made the mistake of putting too many eggs in one basket and now I have no idea what to do. He is a great guy and we have a blast together but I hate being in limbo.

slay0r

It's just a bit awkward for you because you put yourself out there and he rejected you (although very lightly I might add)

I still find it strange the way things have gone with you and him, I still expect from the way you describe it for things to change, but for now I'd just enjoy myself and enjoy my time with that person (Since you seem to have a good time together.) He's kept texting you when he barely replied to you originally. It's like roles reversed!

All this stuff just confuses me now. Last 2 people I've seen have been the same and not wanted any commitment/relationship of any kind, yet when I've then lost interest as a result after a few weeks they've then suddenly gained interest and begun asking me out. Whhhhhyyyyyyy?!? It feels that way with the girl I was telling you all about as well, she's defined it as just seeing each other occasionally yet comes n sees me all the time and stays with me for most of the night, as well as the changing of the way she acts. Sooo strange.

La_Amazona

I wish I had some words of wisdom for you. I seriously handle rejection MUCH worse now that I'm older. You'd think it would be the opposite. Even when guys I was only killing time with reject me I freak out. And I never wanted them in the first place - why care? I'd like to think I've gotten better but the only reason I think so is because I have totally stopped dating. It's been over a year and a half. I met a friend of a friend on Sunday who asked for my number. There was not one bit of attraction for me other then he has a job. How sad is that? But he seems nice enough so I gave my number. I just wish it could be a guy that is nice with a JOB and one that I want to see naked!! That's how I know if I'm attracted - I ask myself if I'd like to see him naked eventually. So far if the answer has been no and I still pursued it ended up being a disappointment.

This makes me sad. I felt sad for a couple days but I'm over it. If something were to ever grow than so be it but I'm not stopping for him. He seems to keep me "hooked in" but I'm not playing games.

I just read an article about how not to pass up nice guys up who you aren't attracted to. I can agree to some point (don't judge a book by its cover) but I won't lie, I need the physical attraction to be high. It's important to me.. granted what I might find "hot", you might not. So it's all in the eye of the beholder but it is necessary for me.
I don't go as far as wanting to see them naked lol but I will ask myself, do I want to kiss him? I love to kiss, it's one of my favorite hobbies and find it very erotic. So if the answer is YES, then I'm good.

La_Amazona

I also have a crush and the whole situation is driving me crazy! We have been hanging out since the beginning of November but I’m not totally sure where this whole thing is headed. We talk everyday and hang at least once a week but I’m ready to either take this relationship to the next level and hang out/talk more or move on. His life is very busy at the moment but my life is just as hectic and I manage to make time. To me this is a warning sign that he just isn’t that into me. Yes I read the book and I think it made me even crazier lol! However, I also think I may be over analyzing his actions and he just wants to take things slow. Is three months a long time in dating terms? I’ve always jumped into relationships and obviously none of them worked out so I’m no expert. He did recently invite me to meet the parents so that is a good sign right? Why do men have to me so confusing? I’m wondering if I made the mistake of putting too many eggs in one basket and now I have no idea what to do. He is a great guy and we have a blast together but I hate being in limbo.

The book is good but yes, I went to overdrive in my already crazy overanalyzing skills!!!
Are ya'll exclusively seeing each other only? Have you had the talk with him? 3 months is a long time to not know where you're at.. especially if he's the only one you're seeing. I'd be in the asylum by then if it were me!!

La_Amazona

It's just a bit awkward for you because you put yourself out there and he rejected you (although very lightly I might add)

I still find it strange the way things have gone with you and him, I still expect from the way you describe it for things to change, but for now I'd just enjoy myself and enjoy my time with that person (Since you seem to have a good time together.) He's kept texting you when he barely replied to you originally. It's like roles reversed!

All this stuff just confuses me now. Last 2 people I've seen have been the same and not wanted any commitment/relationship of any kind, yet when I've then lost interest as a result after a few weeks they've then suddenly gained interest and begun asking me out. Whhhhhyyyyyyy?!? It feels that way with the girl I was telling you all about as well, she's defined it as just seeing each other occasionally yet comes n sees me all the time and stays with me for most of the night, as well as the changing of the way she acts. Sooo strange.

Yeah I've noticed that. But maybe he's just trying to reassure our friendship.. I think I am too. I think he really likes me and wants to keep me around. And I feel the same way about him. I think we're both "trying" to reassure we're okay after we went so fast in the beginning. It makes me happy that we're okay, it does.. but the phone calls are what make me confused. He also texts me when he receives good news like when he got the new job that he's been wanting. He will text me as soon as it happens. He texted me on Saturday knowing I was out about the game (his team against mine). Again, maybe that's normal for him and his friends, even those that are women. This is foreign to me though.