Your preferred date night...?
Replies
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Let me refer back to past posts in here... If someone is interested they will make the effort to see you. She obviously isn't interested... she can't find an hour or two in her schedule in a two week span??? I bet she spends 10 hours in that same span looking at facebook and pinterest... Give me a break, I'd move on and not even think twice.
As a woman, I have to say this is true. If a guy asked me out and I was really interested, I would drop something to go out with him., or at least spare an hour for him! Things that I'm not interested in, I push to the back burner, and find excuses for, like "oh gosh I'm so busy." But maybe people are genuinely busy? I don't know.
If a woman does say this to a man, I think the man should say, "Okay, well shoot me a text or call when you know you're going to be free if you'd like to go out." If she leaves it hanging, put the ball in her court. If it was an excuse, she won't call, and if it was the truth, she will say, "I'm free X X X days," and then the man can ask her out for real.0 -
In my opinion, you're not going to want the first date to be with a girl who's coming off a days work in her work clothes. Girls are going to feel "unpretty" or whatever if they don't get to shower/get ready. Then she's not going to be fully into the date, in the back of her mind she's going to worry if she looks good enough, is her hair ok, etc etc.
Fair enough, agree to disagree on that. Sort of a male/female difference that I just won't understand. I will go out with someone in my work clothes for all I care. But if you looking your best is more important than hanging out with someone you like then so be it.
Oh come on, you have to admit he has a point though. That phrase gets thrown around a lot around here, especially by women. Now all of the sudden dates take 3-4 hours and can't be rushed? I've been on coffee dates where we only hung out for 30-45 minutes. Generally people spend more time than that cooking dinner, why not just meet for a quick bite? And in my experience if both people like each other the date is ENJOYED even if it is rushed. So there's no point in hanging out if you can't spend 3-4 hours together?Let me refer back to past posts in here... If someone is interested they will make the effort to see you. She obviously isn't interested... she can't find an hour or two in her schedule in a two week span??? I bet she spends 10 hours in that same span looking at facebook and pinterest... Give me a break, I'd move on and not even think twice.
Get real, it is not just an hour or two for a date. You aren't considering prep or driving time. Realistically a date is a 3-4 hour investment - on the LOW side. Some weeks really DO get so busy that it's really no feasible to try and force in a rushed date, instead of waiting a week or two for when things can actually be, I don't know, ENJOYED?
I didn't say the DATE itself took 3-4 hours, I'm totally okay with the date lasting 1-2 hours itself, what you're discounting it how long it takes to get ready for the date. Sure for work I can shower and be ready in 30 minutes, but if I'm meeting up with a guy I really like I'm not exactly going to put on my work face, am I? I'm going to take the time to make myself awesome. So it's not a matter of finding one free hour in any given day. Especially not for a first date.
So True!0 -
I understand what y'all are saying, everyone WANTS to look their best for someone they like. But if you only had a small window of time to see somebody would you really rather not see them at all than show up not looking your best?
I know I'd rather hang out with someone that showed me that she's willing to make time for me than someone who doesn't because she's insecure about the way she looks.0 -
If I only had a small window of time, no, I would not turn down a date just because I didn't have hours to get ready. And even though I am a severe Type A personality, I've become a lot more relaxed on the "every minute of my day must be planned in advance" thing in recent years. So it would not freak me out if the guy I'm seeing called me and said "Can you be ready for dinner in 30 minutes?" But I can say this because I'm usually prepared. I always look nice when I leave home, even if I'm just running errands.
But I think men sometimes take for granted that they can be showered, dressed, and walking out the door in 15 minutes, and they think if a woman can't do the same, she must be vain or high-maintenance, that she's choosing her appearance over him. The reality is that that's a false choice. If I can't be happy about the way I look AND be with a man I like, what is the point?
This is why women get pissed off and are in a bad mood all night when you guys rush us through the process of getting ready and then act like we're being selfish because we wanted to look nice. We don't understand it. Do you like the way we look when we get dressed up for a date? Then please stop complaining about how long it takes us to look that way.0 -
Yes, we appreciate all of your hard work in getting ready and looking pretty for us. We also get annoyed when it takes you an hour to get ready to go see a movie or go grocery shopping. It is selfish, you even don't necessarily get ready for us (maybe for the first few dates), you get ready so you can feel better about yourself. If we like you enough we think you look great no matter what. My ex was the same way, she couldn't leave the house without making herself look pretty. After a while it was just like, "Can't we just go eat already, I'm hungry."
Women just care much more about what other people think of them, and how they look. I personally have no shame, I typically run errands after the gym in gym shorts and a t-shirt. I don't really care what I look like when I'm buying groceries.
I don't really see anyone complaining that it takes you so long to get ready for a date. All I was really saying is if someone is too busy to see me then I will probably lose interest, so it's better to show up looking a little disheveled than not show up at all.0 -
Let me refer back to past posts in here... If someone is interested they will make the effort to see you. She obviously isn't interested... she can't find an hour or two in her schedule in a two week span??? I bet she spends 10 hours in that same span looking at facebook and pinterest... Give me a break, I'd move on and not even think twice.
As a woman, I have to say this is true. If a guy asked me out and I was really interested, I would drop something to go out with him., or at least spare an hour for him! Things that I'm not interested in, I push to the back burner, and find excuses for, like "oh gosh I'm so busy." But maybe people are genuinely busy? I don't know.
If a woman does say this to a man, I think the man should say, "Okay, well shoot me a text or call when you know you're going to be free if you'd like to go out." If she leaves it hanging, put the ball in her court. If it was an excuse, she won't call, and if it was the truth, she will say, "I'm free X X X days," and then the man can ask her out for real.
I only use "busy" as an excuse... obviously because I'm not interested or don't want to do something. I think it's safe to say if you here busy, your not on the top of someones list.0 -
Yes, we appreciate all of your hard work in getting ready and looking pretty for us. We also get annoyed when it takes you an hour to get ready to go see a movie or go grocery shopping. It is selfish, you even don't necessarily get ready for us (maybe for the first few dates), you get ready so you can feel better about yourself. If we like you enough we think you look great no matter what. My ex was the same way, she couldn't leave the house without making herself look pretty. After a while it was just like, "Can't we just go eat already, I'm hungry."
Women just care much more about what other people think of them, and how they look. I personally have no shame, I typically run errands after the gym in gym shorts and a t-shirt. I don't really care what I look like when I'm buying groceries.
I don't really see anyone complaining that it takes you so long to get ready for a date. All I was really saying is if someone is too busy to see me then I will probably lose interest, so it's better to show up looking a little disheveled than not show up at all.
Okay, but you just said you get annoyed when it takes a woman an hour to get ready to go see a movie. That's what I mean when I say "complaining." But I guess asking you not to be annoyed by it doesn't make you less annoyed by it, any more than telling a woman she looks great will make her believe it if she doesn't already.0 -
Well really it's not annoying unless we're waiting for you. If we're hungry or if we miss the beginning of a movie because you had to put on makeup even though we'll be in a dark theater most of the time it can be annoying. But usually it's not a big deal. If it doesn't effect me I don't care, take three hours if you want.0
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To be fair, I was specifying the first date, or even the first few dates, as when I want to really make myself look like a realistic yet slightly shinier version of me. Obviously if we start dating more you will see the me that just gets off work, you will see the me that just got back from a run, you will see the me that's just woken up after having a couple drinks the night before, you will see the me that says "hell I'm going to the grocery store, I'm going to put my hair in a ponytail and wear my beat up shoes". Those are the times where it'll be moments of coming over and read with me and I'm in my PJ's. But for the first date, allow me to be at my best, yeah? It's like passing gas, you wouldn't do that on the first date. But God knows at some point you're going to try and pull a dutch oven.
Tying this back into the point, yes, there are women that say they're too busy this week and is next week okay that actually mean it. Though in DM's situation that's probably not the case.0 -
Well really it's not annoying unless we're waiting for you. If we're hungry or if we miss the beginning of a movie because you had to put on makeup even though we'll be in a dark theater most of the time it can be annoying. But usually it's not a big deal. If it doesn't effect me I don't care, take three hours if you want.
That's not an issue of a girl taking too long, it's a girl that's inconsiderate because she didn't bother getting ready early enough even though she knows how long it would take her to get ready. The problem isn't that she's trying to doll up, it's that she's not punctual and rude. My roommate has this problem with his girlfriend, she says she'll be somewhere at five and doesn't show up until almost 7:30.0 -
Based on what?Though in DM's situation that's probably not the case.0 -
Based on what?Though in DM's situation that's probably not the case.
Based on the information he has given us. She said she was busy, hasn't gotten back to him since and hasn't offered an alternate date. It's been days. Of course, I intentionally say "probably" because there are always exceptions0 -
Based on what?Though in DM's situation that's probably not the case.
Based on the information he has given us. She said she was busy, hasn't gotten back to him since and hasn't offered an alternate date. It's been days. Of course, I intentionally say "probably" because there are always exceptions
If it was me, I'd at least make two attempts. I did that with a girl I met a month or so ago. I made two attempts, and although I thought she was interested she never really gave me an answer. After twice, I'll move on.
But, we already know I feel differently about things then most guys on here.0 -
Based on what?Though in DM's situation that's probably not the case.
Based on the information he has given us. She said she was busy, hasn't gotten back to him since and hasn't offered an alternate date. It's been days. Of course, I intentionally say "probably" because there are always exceptions
If it was me, I'd at least make two attempts. I did that with a girl I met a month or so ago. I made two attempts, and although I thought she was interested she never really gave me an answer. After twice, I'll move on.
But, we already know I feel differently about things then most guys on here.
Sure, if you're interested I can understand that. However DM has also stated that he's not interested anyway because he doesn't like older women.0 -
So many people like weeknights! I'm surprised!
I prefer days when I don't work the next morning (5:30 AM comes fast!). I like my sleep and I like to have time to get stuff done during the week. I think weekend plans are so much more fun because if you're honest, you don't need an exit strategy. Also, if you're honest, you may very well end up wanting to spend much more time with the person regardless of the goings on. I've had first dates where we ended up taking a midnight roadtrip to wherever our little hearts desired! I'd much rather have a loosely structured plan for the night (i.e: we're going to the city and there's A,B,C, and D going on- then decide what we feel like doing once we get there). Impulsivity and fun makes for a much better date than knowing you have to get up for work in the AM!0 -
I understand what y'all are saying, everyone WANTS to look their best for someone they like. But if you only had a small window of time to see somebody would you really rather not see them at all than show up not looking your best?
I know I'd rather hang out with someone that showed me that she's willing to make time for me than someone who doesn't because she's insecure about the way she looks.
I work construction - there's no such thing as looking nice if you are in the field. Generally, there's no way I'd go on a first date without getting time to clean up unless maybe it's someone I know from work so he already knows how so not good cute we look out here. I mean if you force my hand in saying that I have to meet you this day after work or not at all - I'll go with it. From past experiences, usually if a guy has to see me that day and has no room to change or open-ness/understanding, the relationship doesn't work out well mostly due to my job and a need for flexiblity.
Then again my job is a bit unsterotypical.0 -
What kind of construction do you do? I'm in the industry (mainly roads) and I know when I work in the field by the end of the day I'm usually hot, sweaty, smelly, and covered with dirt. There's no way I would go out on a date like that. That and the hours are crazy long so I know what you mean.I understand what y'all are saying, everyone WANTS to look their best for someone they like. But if you only had a small window of time to see somebody would you really rather not see them at all than show up not looking your best?
I know I'd rather hang out with someone that showed me that she's willing to make time for me than someone who doesn't because she's insecure about the way she looks.
I work construction - there's no such thing as looking nice if you are in the field. Generally, there's no way I'd go on a first date without getting time to clean up unless maybe it's someone I know from work so he already knows how so not good cute we look out here. I mean if you force my hand in saying that I have to meet you this day after work or not at all - I'll go with it. From past experiences, usually if a guy has to see me that day and has no room to change or open-ness/understanding, the relationship doesn't work out well mostly due to my job and a need for flexiblity.
Then again my job is a bit unsterotypical.0 -
I understand what y'all are saying, everyone WANTS to look their best for someone they like. But if you only had a small window of time to see somebody would you really rather not see them at all than show up not looking your best?
I know I'd rather hang out with someone that showed me that she's willing to make time for me than someone who doesn't because she's insecure about the way she looks.
I work construction - there's no such thing as looking nice if you are in the field. Generally, there's no way I'd go on a first date without getting time to clean up unless maybe it's someone I know from work so he already knows how so not good cute we look out here. I mean if you force my hand in saying that I have to meet you this day after work or not at all - I'll go with it. From past experiences, usually if a guy has to see me that day and has no room to change or open-ness/understanding, the relationship doesn't work out well mostly due to my job and a need for flexiblity.
Then again my job is a bit unsterotypical.
I hear ya! I work a construction-type job too but when I'm in the field I'm actually in the middle of the Mojave Desert... talk about dirty girl. However, there have been plenty of guys out there that apparently like that look as I've been approached looking hideous.
But yes - a shower is always necessary!0 -
I'm sorry but if I asked someone out and they said they couldn't meet up with me for like 2 weeks and didn't really give a reason I would be gone too.
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You have to understand that most women would rather just lead you on for weeks than tell you they're not interested. How are we supposed to tell the difference?
You could tell the difference by setting a date 2 weeks from now and seeing what happens. I'm not the most datable of women, but even I have most nights booked for the next two weeks.0 -
See usually I have a tough time dating someone that is busy all the time. After a couple months of hanging out once every couple weeks it just starts to feel like it's not going anywhere and I lose interest.0
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See usually I have a tough time dating someone that is busy all the time. After a couple months of hanging out once every couple weeks it just starts to feel like it's not going anywhere and I lose interest.
I suppose it depends on why they're busy.0 -
See usually I have a tough time dating someone that is busy all the time. After a couple months of hanging out once every couple weeks it just starts to feel like it's not going anywhere and I lose interest.
I suppose it would. But if you finally met,and really hit it off, then one would expect that you'd make more room in your schedule for each other. It took almost a month to meet bodybuilder guy because I had so many other plans already set up (trips with friends, Warrior Dash, work trips stuff like that) but we hit it off, and scheduled more time together and after another month we saw each other (at least for an hour or so) every day for almost two weeks. Of course, that fell apart when I got deployment orders, but the point I'm getting at was I wasn't going to cancel existing plans to meet a new guy... so many guys out there to meet...but once I met one worth spending more time with, I had no hesitation giving him priority in my schedule.
When a man is busy a week or two out, I take that's a good sign of his sociability and hard work. I *ALSO* take as a good sign that he doesn't drop all his existing plans to spend time with me. Loyalty and commitment is very important to me. A man who drops his friends for a new woman will also drop me once the newness wears off.0 -
See usually I have a tough time dating someone that is busy all the time. After a couple months of hanging out once every couple weeks it just starts to feel like it's not going anywhere and I lose interest.
I suppose it would. But if you finally met,and really hit it off, then one would expect that you'd make more room in your schedule for each other. It took almost a month to meet bodybuilder guy because I had so many other plans already set up (trips with friends, Warrior Dash, work trips stuff like that) but we hit it off, and scheduled more time together and after another month we saw each other (at least for an hour or so) every day for almost two weeks. Of course, that fell apart when I got deployment orders, but the point I'm getting at was I wasn't going to cancel existing plans to meet a new guy... so many guys out there to meet...but once I met one worth spending more time with, I had no hesitation giving him priority in my schedule.
When a man is busy a week or two out, I take that's a good sign of his sociability and hard work. I *ALSO* take as a good sign that he doesn't drop all his existing plans to spend time with me. Loyalty and commitment is very important to me. A man who drops his friends for a new woman will also drop me once the newness wears off.
Not if you make good sandwich's.
I kid.
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Not if you make good sandwich's.
I kid.
You shouldn't kid about sammiches... I make a mean sammich!0
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