Sexual Chemistry...
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You should move out of Alabama.
Don't live there anymore. hated, hated, hated living there. I just couldn't take the racism. One day, I got curious and since I was about to move, I asked the folks (all white except me) in my co-op about the local race issue. These older folks went OFF about "the blacks" this and "the blacks" that. About 20 minutes into it, I'm standing there feeling REALLY awkward wondering how I can get out of this gracefully and get back to work when the main instigator turns to me and says, "but don't worry JJ, you're not one of THEM." Everyone agreed with him. I think that was supposed to be a compliment.
Don't be disheartened about dating! I have a great time dating and meeting new people. It' fun! I love hearing their stories and differing viewpoints. I just keep in the back of my mind that I can't expect more than 2-3 dates from any particular guy because he likely won't accept waiting to have sex. I accept that (along with the possibility of being forever single) as a consequence of the lifestyle I choose to live. The good news is, Shreveport's a big enough town that I probably won't run out of new guys to go out with, lol!
One reason I want to move out of the south, if not the whole country, is I'm thoroughly sick of the whole issue of race and would gladly never discuss or think about it again. Unfortunately, one of the places I'm thinking about moving is Latin America, and race there is even more of an issue in some ways than it is here.
As for dating, I'm pretty fed up with that, too, but you know, I ain't dead yet, and the thought of spending the rest of my life celibate isn't too appealing. Seriously not interested in complicated emotional garbage anymore, though. Especially not games. Too old and too tired.0 -
Are you in America?? If so, from a previous thread I've read on here, the guys over there are pretty judgmental about that type of thing?
If it was here, I'd say he's a horny beast that will keep you around to savour each other OR that it could end in marraige!! Who knows!!! Just dont pin your hat on it !! :flowerforyou:
Not all us Americans are like that. Listen keep in mind it might not work out, but also never forget, it could all just be bad/good timing and it will develop into something amazing.0 -
Sometimes I feel like Anna is my cool aunt who I could drink with while she gives me life advice. :bigsmile:0
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Sometimes I feel like Anna is my cool aunt who I could drink with while she gives me life advice. :bigsmile:
I curse the fates that put her across the big pond from me. :grumble:0 -
Sometimes I feel like Anna is my cool aunt who I could drink with while she gives me life advice. :bigsmile:
Awwwwwwwwww Ashley, I'm honoured :bigsmile: Seeing as I'm neither a Mother nor an Aunt, I'm going to adopt you as my virtual niece!! :laugh:
I'm sure you could give me an equal amount of advice too, but I'm sure to drink you under the table while we put the world to rights!!! Yeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaars of practice!! :laugh: :drinker:0 -
Sometimes I feel like Anna is my cool aunt who I could drink with while she gives me life advice. :bigsmile:
I curse the fates that put her across the big pond from me. :grumble:
:blushing: Thank you Carl, what a lovely thing to say :flowerforyou:
You two have made my day!!! :bigsmile: :bigsmile: :bigsmile: :bigsmile: :bigsmile: :bigsmile: :bigsmile: :bigsmile: :bigsmile:
Thank you :flowerforyou:0 -
At the risk of angering people again I will say I don`t think it is really all that complicated.
If a lady after a few get togethers does not see a guy willing to show that they like her via being a person who wants to find a bond then she should think all he wants is to get in her pants.
If a guy after a few get togethers does not see a lady becoming more affectionate and amorous then he should think she is just looking to him as a source of entertainment.
Both should be walking the same path together to meet each others wants without either insisting theirs has to be met first.
If a person due to religious conviction or otherwise feels that sex is never acceptable outside of marriage then fine for them,don`t go fishing in the wrong pond and accept happily the ramifications of those beliefs.0 -
At the risk of angering people again I will say I don`t think it is really all that complicated.
If a lady after a few get togethers does not see a guy willing to show that they like her via being a person who wants to find a bond then she should think all he wants is to get in her pants.
If a guy after a few get togethers does not see a lady becoming more affectionate and amorous then he should think she is just looking to him as a source of entertainment.
Both should be walking the same path together to meet each others wants without either insisting theirs has to be met first.
If a person due to religious conviction or otherwise feels that sex is never acceptable outside of marriage then fine for them,don`t go fishing in the wrong pond and accept happily the ramifications of those beliefs.
Crap Carl, you nailed it!0 -
At the risk of angering people again I will say I don`t think it is really all that complicated.
If a lady after a few get togethers does not see a guy willing to show that they like her via being a person who wants to find a bond then she should think all he wants is to get in her pants.
If a guy after a few get togethers does not see a lady becoming more affectionate and amorous then he should think she is just looking to him as a source of entertainment.
Both should be walking the same path together to meet each others wants without either insisting theirs has to be met first.
If a person due to religious conviction or otherwise feels that sex is never acceptable outside of marriage then fine for them,don`t go fishing in the wrong pond and accept happily the ramifications of those beliefs.
Crap Carl, you nailed it!
There you see, it's not all that difficult!! :laugh: What's interesting to me is that why it becomes more complicated. Clearly it's to do with anxiety about what others' motives may be, but is this to do with personal experience or is sexual politics in the US really that much more fraught?0 -
Sometimes I feel like Anna is my cool aunt who I could drink with while she gives me life advice. :bigsmile:
I curse the fates that put her across the big pond from me. :grumble:
:blushing: Thank you Carl, what a lovely thing to say :flowerforyou:
You two have made my day!!! :bigsmile: :bigsmile: :bigsmile: :bigsmile: :bigsmile: :bigsmile: :bigsmile: :bigsmile: :bigsmile:
Thank you :flowerforyou:
Happily, Anna is on the right side of the pond for me and I'm happy to report that she is the just same mix of fun and warmth in person as she is online :bigsmile: :flowerforyou:0 -
Sometimes I feel like Anna is my cool aunt who I could drink with while she gives me life advice. :bigsmile:
Awwwwwwwwww Ashley, I'm honoured :bigsmile: Seeing as I'm neither a Mother nor an Aunt, I'm going to adopt you as my virtual niece!! :laugh:
I'm sure you could give me an equal amount of advice too, but I'm sure to drink you under the table while we put the world to rights!!! Yeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaars of practice!! :laugh: :drinker:
Yay I have a virtual aunt! Lol I'm not so sure about drinking me under the table... I can hold my own pretty well! Challenge accepted!0 -
Exactly.I refuse to accept that a mans desire for physical intimacy is flawed or not on an equal standing with a ladys desire for emotional intimacy.
And the fact that emotional intimacy is normally considered superior to physical intimacy is just a norm from our society.
Interesting too that except Anna no lady was willing to comment.
Apparently my posts are invisible. :P0
