is this bad?
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I think probably what you're looking for is some practical advice on getting guys to ask you out, right?
Ok, here goes:
Bar guy: What you said when he asked how you were doing was "good!" Most likely, you then looked immediately away and/or giggled nervously, at which point, guy thinks conversation is over and wanders off. What you should have said is something more along these lines:
"Hey! I'm having a fantastic evening, especially since a good looking guy just bought me a drink! How are you?"
This makes you approachable, a little bit flirty without being slutty, and the guy knows you're at least *somewhat* interested. Plus, you asked him a question, which gives him something to reply to. Most guys do not want to have to work at a conversation in a bar, especially since as far as he's concerned, he's already put the effort in by buying you a drink.
Pretty much every conversation with a guy can be started with a simple question, a compliment, and the absolutely dazzling smile that I already know you have. Hope this helps.
Kate is right. Questions and simple compliments go a long way toward being approachable and starting a conversation! Plus it works anywhere, not just in a bar setting.0 -
I'd suggest that if you want to reduce the chances of finding a guy looking for a quick hook up and nothing else, stay out of bars period.0
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I'd suggest that if you want to reduce the chances of finding a guy looking for a quick hook up and nothing else, stay out of bars period.
I'm referring to an actual incident that she mentioned. She wants practical advice on how to be approachable to guys and she is 22. Let her learn those lessons on her own -- it's already easy for her to say "no" so I highly doubt she's going to be taken in by that...
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I wasn't worried about her becoming gullible all of a sudden. I was more concerned about her looking for a guy in an atmosphere that is the most likely to reassure her of all of her fears that are directed towards guys.0
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I'd suggest that if you want to reduce the chances of finding a guy looking for a quick hook up and nothing else, stay out of bars period.
At her age, that isn't really great advice. In my 20s, I met more than one man in a bar who were decent guys and we had long-term relationships. It isn't about where you meet, it's the quality of the meeting. I don't suggest going home with the guy and jumping into bed immediately, but just because someone is in a bar on a Friday or Saturday night doesn't mean he (or she) isn't a perfectly decent person worth getting to know. Most people go to bars at one point or another. We're not all creeps looking for a quick, meaningless hookup.0 -
I'd suggest that if you want to reduce the chances of finding a guy looking for a quick hook up and nothing else, stay out of bars period.
At her age, that isn't really great advice. In my 20s, I met more than one man in a bar who were decent guys and we had long-term relationships. It isn't about where you meet, it's the quality of the meeting. I don't suggest going home with the guy and jumping into bed immediately, but just because someone is in a bar on a Friday or Saturday night doesn't mean he (or she) isn't a perfectly decent person worth getting to know. Most people go to bars at one point or another. We're not all creeps looking for a quick, meaningless hookup.
Exactly. I can't say that I've ever necessarily met a long-term boyfriend in a bar, but I got plenty of practice in being approachable. I have had several guys give me their numbers or ask for mine w/out ever mentioning having sex that night. It's a place where people our age go to unwind and have fun -- sure, sometimes sex is involved (and, honestly, if both are consenting adults, who cares?), but that's not necessarily the main goal.
Oh, and, another piece of advice: don't ever, ever, ever, EVER say that your friend is better looking than you. EVER. :flowerforyou:0 -
I think probably what you're looking for is some practical advice on getting guys to ask you out, right?
Ok, here goes:
Bar guy: What you said when he asked how you were doing was "good!" Most likely, you then looked immediately away and/or giggled nervously, at which point, guy thinks conversation is over and wanders off. What you should have said is something more along these lines:
"Hey! I'm having a fantastic evening, especially since a good looking guy just bought me a drink! How are you?"
This makes you approachable, a little bit flirty without being slutty, and the guy knows you're at least *somewhat* interested. Plus, you asked him a question, which gives him something to reply to. Most guys do not want to have to work at a conversation in a bar, especially since as far as he's concerned, he's already put the effort in by buying you a drink.
Pretty much every conversation with a guy can be started with a simple question, a compliment, and the absolutely dazzling smile that I already know you have. Hope this helps.
Bar guy didn't actually buy me a drink, he just said "get something with cake" and walked away. Ive never had a guy actually buy me a drink but if someone did that is kinda a cute thing to say. I might not say something about being good looking but minus that part I like it.
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I think probably what you're looking for is some practical advice on getting guys to ask you out, right?
Ok, here goes:
Bar guy: What you said when he asked how you were doing was "good!" Most likely, you then looked immediately away and/or giggled nervously, at which point, guy thinks conversation is over and wanders off. What you should have said is something more along these lines:
"Hey! I'm having a fantastic evening, especially since a good looking guy just bought me a drink! How are you?"
This makes you approachable, a little bit flirty without being slutty, and the guy knows you're at least *somewhat* interested. Plus, you asked him a question, which gives him something to reply to. Most guys do not want to have to work at a conversation in a bar, especially since as far as he's concerned, he's already put the effort in by buying you a drink.
Pretty much every conversation with a guy can be started with a simple question, a compliment, and the absolutely dazzling smile that I already know you have. Hope this helps.
Bar guy didn't actually buy me a drink, he just said "get something with cake" and walked away. Ive never had a guy actually buy me a drink but if someone did that is kinda a cute thing to say. I might not say something about being good looking but minus that part I like it.
Lol, I thought he did, but anyway, you HAVE to say that he's good looking -- that's the point haha0 -
Bar guy didn't actually buy me a drink, he just said "get something with cake" and walked away."Hey! I'm having a fantastic evening, especially since a good looking guy just bought me a drink! How are you?"
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Pretty much every conversation with a guy can be started with a simple question, a compliment, and the absolutely dazzling smile that I already know you have. Hope this helps.
Lol, I thought he did, but anyway, you HAVE to say that he's good looking -- that's the point haha
Then maybe something like wrap your arm around his (wizard of oz style) and, "Hey! I'm having a fantastic evening, especially now that I've got a good looking guy on my arm! How are you?"
Or, what I often use if I can't tell whether or not the guy is in a rush, "I'm great! But (looking him up and down) even better *now*!"
When I used to work with HFA young adults, I had them do this all the time and it really works for those who found themselves overcome with emotion/nervousness when someone approaches/expresses romantic interest: Go to a Target in a part of town where you probably don't know anyone (I used to say Walmart, but it's getting kinda creepy). Pretend you're shopping, and practice looking guys in the eye as you pass, flashing a great smile, and saying "hi." Some guys will think you're cute and react accordingly. Work up to approaching guys who are wandering aimlessly or can't find what they're looking for and use the surroundings to strike up a convo ("so many choices but never what you're looking for" or, "are you looking for arugula too?? I need it for a recipe but don't know what it looks like," "hey, is that marshmallow fluff in your basket? where did you find it"). Or striking up convo with the person before/ahead of you in line.
Sounds corny, but it works! The bulk of my dates are from Match.com, but I've been asked out at the gas station, Sam's club, and even the mall. A lot of times just smiling is enough to get a guy to come over and start flirting. After awhile it becomes natural to just be that friendly and approachable in public.0 -
Heck no it's not bad. That kind of drama can rub off on you. For example, I won't date anyone who uses illegal drugs (or legal drugs illegally). If someone I date has friends that do those things, I'd probably ditch him, and even if I didn't, the rules would be clear. None of that in my house, none of it around me, and if he gets tossed in jail because the cops didn't want to bother sorting out who was doing drugs from who was hanging out with druggies, I'm not bailing him out, either. I'm too darn old for that nonsense these days.0
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I am probably meeting the guy this thread was about tonight! I will let you all know if he actually shows up and what happens!0
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I am probably meeting the guy this thread was about tonight! I will let you all know if he actually shows up and what happens!
Nice!0 -
I am probably meeting the guy this thread was about tonight! I will let you all know if he actually shows up and what happens!
good luck, have fun.0 -
1) He didn't come.
I guess he was working late. But he told my friend that he does want to meet me, so we're going to do it soon. I'm excited.
2) My friend actually told me about how her bf comes off wrong to some people, but he has matured a lot lately, so I appreciated that.
So things are going well for the most part. I told my friend that I am interested in meeting more people and taking chances and she loved to hear that.
And today, I tried to be a lot more outgoing at work thinking of all your guys advice and I think it went well. There is a new employee who is really cute and might have been flirting with me or just really nice, not sure yet.0 -
Most impressive Tchristine!0
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1) He didn't come. I guess he was working late. But he told my friend that he does want to meet me, so we're going to do it soon. I'm excited.
2) My friend actually told me about how her bf comes off wrong to some people, but he has matured a lot lately, so I appreciated that.
So things are going well for the most part. I told my friend that I am interested in meeting more people and taking chances and she loved to hear that.
And today, I tried to be a lot more outgoing at work thinking of all your guys advice and I think it went well. There is a new employee who is really cute and might have been flirting with me or just really nice, not sure yet.
That's brilliant news. (Most) Men are nothing to be afraid of. They (most) are just as shy and insecure as us :flowerforyou:
Have fun! :bigsmile:0 -
1) He didn't come. I guess he was working late. But he told my friend that he does want to meet me, so we're going to do it soon. I'm excited.
2) My friend actually told me about how her bf comes off wrong to some people, but he has matured a lot lately, so I appreciated that.
So things are going well for the most part. I told my friend that I am interested in meeting more people and taking chances and she loved to hear that.
And today, I tried to be a lot more outgoing at work thinking of all your guys advice and I think it went well. There is a new employee who is really cute and might have been flirting with me or just really nice, not sure yet.
That's brilliant news. (Most) Men are nothing to be afraid of. They (most) are just as shy and insecure as us :flowerforyou:
Have fun! :bigsmile:
yes I am the king of shy and insecure! kneel before Zod!......no wait that came out wrong.....0 -
1) He didn't come. I guess he was working late. But he told my friend that he does want to meet me, so we're going to do it soon. I'm excited.
2) My friend actually told me about how her bf comes off wrong to some people, but he has matured a lot lately, so I appreciated that.
So things are going well for the most part. I told my friend that I am interested in meeting more people and taking chances and she loved to hear that.
And today, I tried to be a lot more outgoing at work thinking of all your guys advice and I think it went well. There is a new employee who is really cute and might have been flirting with me or just really nice, not sure yet.
That's brilliant news. (Most) Men are nothing to be afraid of. They (most) are just as shy and insecure as us :flowerforyou:
Have fun! :bigsmile:
yes I am the king of shy and insecure! kneel before Zod!......no wait that came out wrong.....
That's actually quite forward of you, Zod :blushing: :laugh:0 -
So things are going well for the most part. I told my friend that I am interested in meeting more people and taking chances and she loved to hear that.
And today, I tried to be a lot more outgoing at work thinking of all your guys advice and I think it went well. There is a new employee who is really cute and might have been flirting with me or just really nice, not sure yet.
These are great steps to take, congrats!! Just being more social in general will definitely help in the dating department too.0
