December Challenge - Me vs. The Binge

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  • SelfHelpJunky
    SelfHelpJunky Posts: 205 Member
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    December 10 2012

    Colleen- 5
    The Binge- 4

    Days over: 3
    Days didn't finish diary: 2

    This weekend was horrid. There is absolutely no excuse. I was having car issues AGAIN and I lost over three hours worth of my school work due to a saving error. I thought I was handling it constructively but apparently not. On Friday I went over a bit but I am not considering that a binge, because I was responsible and recorded what I ate. I also was able to manage a food that is very triggering.

    The holidays and exams are always stressful but I have to remember that I don't need to go off the deep end. On the plus side, I've started taking 5-HTP at night, and it's helping me to sleep a lot better. Hoping it will help me with some of this anxiety, too.
  • SelfHelpJunky
    SelfHelpJunky Posts: 205 Member
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    Bev:4
    Binge: 5

    I want to die.

    :flowerforyou: ((hugs)) I know how you feel...remember, you are here for a reason!!
  • stephs0214
    stephs0214 Posts: 269 Member
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    I can't say I ate great this weekend since I was out of town, BUT not once did I get into that binge mindset (the one where I cannot focus on anything other than eating and then I just eat and eat till I feel like I will explode). I even went to a bakery and shared dessert with the bf (not saying I consider one dessert as a binge; just saying that sweet foods have triggered a binge many times before...just clarifying.) When I went to restaurants, I tried to order healthier meals and made a pt not to finish the whole plate. It's getting better.....

    Me: 9
    Binge: 0
  • Behavior_Modification
    Behavior_Modification Posts: 24,482 Member
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    December 2012

    Diane - 5
    The Binge - 4
  • ObtainingBalance
    ObtainingBalance Posts: 1,446 Member
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    So for me, defining a binge is hardly ever about calories consumed (although when I binge it is on high-calorie foods or large portions, so I do usually end up having a big overage). It's about a mindset that is then translated into behavior. When I binge, I have strong tunnel vision; I think about that one food (or foods), and that's my focus. I am very "in the moment," not in the good way but in the way wherein I don't care about consequences or how I'll feel after I eat X--I just think about eating X. I eat very, very fast. I usually eat beyond one or two reasonable portions. I almost always binge on a particular food category. I almost always am avoiding what I have (counter productively and falsely) labeled a negative emotion. I am often physically and mentally tired. I'm alone. I have a feeling of the food controlling me rather than me controlling the food. And afterwards, I often feel discouraged and ashamed. All that together is a binge for me.

    I could binge on one dessert if I have all these thought processes and behaviors going on. (Maybe I stop myself and don't add too many calories to my day.) Or I could eat that same dessert mindfully, slowly, enjoyably without experiencing any binge-y thoughts and behaviors at all, so...no binge.

    I've counted some days as binge days even though I was under my calories and some days as binge-free days even though I was over my calories. It all depends on my thoughts and actions...I'm trying to really focus on my approach to food rather than numbers because that's where I have to be honest with myself. :heart:

    I've never thought of it like that!! I have had days where I ate too much in one sitting, but then I went and exercised and stayed below my maintenance calories so I classified it as a non binge day....probably shouldn't have, i need to watch my eating behavior and make sure its not binge-y
  • greekygirl
    greekygirl Posts: 448 Member
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    ...I am quite envious of those who consider an extra dessert to be a binge, actually, I have to say.

    When I began doing this challenge several months ago, I went through a period of time when I wasn't sure what was a binge or what was simply overeating/overindulgence. Some friends from the group explained to me that each of us defines what is a binge for ourselves, so I only have to understand and define what is a binge for me.

    So for me, defining a binge is hardly ever about calories consumed (although when I binge it is on high-calorie foods or large portions, so I do usually end up having a big overage). It's about a mindset that is then translated into behavior. When I binge, I have strong tunnel vision; I think about that one food (or foods), and that's my focus. I am very "in the moment," not in the good way but in the way wherein I don't care about consequences or how I'll feel after I eat X--I just think about eating X. I eat very, very fast. I usually eat beyond one or two reasonable portions. I almost always binge on a particular food category. I almost always am avoiding what I have (counterproductively and falsely) labeled a negative emotion. I am often physically and mentally tired. I'm alone. I have a feeling of the food controlling me rather than me controlling the food. And afterwards, I often feel discouraged and ashamed. All that together is a binge for me.

    I could binge on one dessert if I have all these thought processes and behaviors going on. (Maybe I stop myself and don't add too many calories to my day.) Or I could eat that same dessert mindfully, slowly, enjoyably without experiencing any binge-y thoughts and behaviors at all, so...no binge.

    I've counted some days as binge days even though I was under my calories and some days as binge-free days even though I was over my calories. It all depends on my thoughts and actions...I'm trying to really focus on my approach to food rather than numbers because that's where I have to be honest with myself. :heart:

    Exactly, I couldn't have said it better. That's why I counted yesterday as a binge day even though it was far from a typical binge day for me.
  • IsMollyReallyHungry
    IsMollyReallyHungry Posts: 15,357 Member
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    December 2012:

    Mollie - 7
    The Binge - 2 (1st, 2nd)

    Days I did not log it all - 2 (Goal to be no more than 4 days)
  • ObtainingBalance
    ObtainingBalance Posts: 1,446 Member
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    December 2012:

    Mollie - 7
    The Binge - 2 (1st, 2nd)

    Days I did not log it all - 2 (Goal to be no more than 4 days)

    Way to go, Mollie!
  • motylekcytrynka
    motylekcytrynka Posts: 48 Member
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    10/12

    Natalie: 6
    Binge: 4
  • ObtainingBalance
    ObtainingBalance Posts: 1,446 Member
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    “...the reward centers of the brain--where the pleasure of those high-calorie foods registers--also respond to other substances that bring about pleasure....But those reward centers also respond to other gratifying things, like watching a sunset or experiencing a loving touch...So while you may not be able to change the wiring in your brain, you can "feed" those reward centers other pleasures...Biology isn't destiny when you have effective strategies...” ― Bob Greene, The Life You Want: Get Motivated, Lose Weight, and Be Happy

    ^ Found the quote and it reminded me of how I can form new habits any day.

    If anyone feels like overeating to feel good today, know that there are many alternatives that can make you feel good - and they're guilt free!
    - long walk
    - bath
    - hugs , sex
    - video games. (research shows that the pleasure center is stimulated and dopamine levels in the brain increase during video games)
    - music ( increases levels of dopamine, as well as increases activity in the pleasure centers when listening to music)
    - drawing/writing
    - going out with a friend/family member
    - watching a movie
    - working out - (become an endorphinaholic :D)
    Etc....

    I know food sounds good and you might want it the most at the time, but just make a list of activities that make you happy.... turn to that list.... aim to try one of those before binge eating. Usually, it helps...because after 30 minutes the cravings will be gone....
    Unless you're in a self destructive mind set all day and you're telling yourself that you need to binge, you failed, the guilt..shame...self pity... then the binge urges probably will stay all day because of all that nasty self hate.
    So, choose your thoughts wisely because they can push you to binge. I know a lot of people here struggle with the black and white thinking (as I do, too!) . At-least we are all making progress, day by day. :)
  • Graelwyn75
    Graelwyn75 Posts: 4,404 Member
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    Me - 6
    Binge - 4

    Today was binge free, but a struggle as without exercise, and with the flu, I had a belly ache from hunger, and that is when on my sedentary allowance of 1670.
  • Jul158
    Jul158 Posts: 481 Member
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    12-10-12
    Me: 8
    Binge: 2

    I've been doing much better since I've changed my macros to account for much fat. Still always over in fiber & sugar!
  • eschorre
    eschorre Posts: 185 Member
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    Elizabeth 8
    Binge 2 (12/7, 12/8)
  • berumotto
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    Bev: 5
    Binge: 5

    Tied. Hopefully I can keep up with my new eating plan...
  • greekygirl
    greekygirl Posts: 448 Member
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    December 10

    Me - 6
    Binge - 4

    Binge day today. :frown: Somehow I wasn't terribly high in calories like my usual binges, and I don't feel bad physically (usually I make myself sick) but mentally I'm beating myself up a bit. Tomorrow is another day to do better.

    @Icey - I love what you wrote above - wish I would've read that earlier!
  • towens00
    towens00 Posts: 1,033 Member
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    December 2012:

    Terry - 7.5
    The Binge - 2.5

    Logging days - 10 / 31
  • Punkedpoetess
    Punkedpoetess Posts: 633 Member
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    December 10, 2012

    Rachael - 9
    The Binge - 1 (12/7)
    Overcalories - 0

    Was a very busy day, but I handled it well.
  • IsMollyReallyHungry
    IsMollyReallyHungry Posts: 15,357 Member
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    December 2012:

    Mollie - 8
    The Binge - 2 (1st, 2nd)

    Days I did not log it all - 2 (Goal to be no more than 4 days)
  • greekygirl
    greekygirl Posts: 448 Member
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    Bev:4
    Binge: 5

    I want to die.

    Bev, I confess that when I read things like this I feel :cry:. I believe you are so much more than what and how you eat. And really, recovery is a process, so think in terms of progress, not perfection. Your journey isn't over--you're still battling the binge and will continue to battle it...and you will have more and more success.

    I have felt like this. A lot. It does make me sad to read someone else writing it though. It's really amazing what this eating disorder can do to us. I like her response above, I needed to read it again today.

    I am more than my weight, I am more than my body and what I look like. I am loved. It's all good. WE are loved. No punishment. No self-hate. Today is a good day.
  • ObtainingBalance
    ObtainingBalance Posts: 1,446 Member
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    I forgot my stats. I've been tied up in binge eating, then waking up the next day telling myself I will stop but end up slipping again...

    I *THINK* I have won 4 days... But I am not 100% sure, I kind of got frustrated at losing so I stopped counting while trying to beat the binge.

    Me: 5 (I'm going to win today!!!)

    The Binge: 6