Struggling...

2

Replies

  • InADarkRoom
    InADarkRoom Posts: 84 Member
    Thanks guys. Nights are the worst. I'm struggling to focus on my studies (I'm at uni part time) and find myself just staring at the bloody wall! And of course, craving carb laden food. Not productive.

    Will have to look up that book @totaloblivia, thanks.

    @Kitnthecat I think I'd feel a bit daft saying that kinda stuff to myself!

    @35in90 I'm not a huge fan of chicken wings (far too fussy for my own good, unless it's full of carbs!) but I like the coffee idea, thanks!
  • KarlaYP
    KarlaYP Posts: 4,436 Member
    Try very hard to not allow anyone to have that kind of power over your health. It's yours, not theirs. Use it for your good. Once you cave in the result of it makes you feel worse about everything then can set up a vicious cycle! Hang in there and don't forget to love yourself, because you deserve it!! :smile:
  • InADarkRoom
    InADarkRoom Posts: 84 Member
    It's odd - I've never seen it that way before - as giving them power over my health. I can see that I'm going to have to make a conscious decision not to allow it to happen - probably every 5 minutes for a while. Thanks for the different perspective @Karlottap :smile:
  • LemonMarmalade
    LemonMarmalade Posts: 227 Member
    My advice is to stop with carbs all together. Give it a couple of weeks with very very low to no carbs. No frankenfoods. That will help get your cravings under control. If you are anything like me, even a diet soda can crank up my cravings, stay away from anything "sweet".

    Even when i attempt to add back certain veggies , like cauliflower, I stop losing immediately and start craving chocolate and chips! Thankfully I have had a steel resolve (for the first time in my life) to stay away from those delicious triggers when i am craving.

    I have been at this just over 3 months and have lost the bulk of my weight with a virtually zero carb diet.

    I am not saying thats what you have to do forever but for me at this point it is all that keeps me from the back and forth cycle. You may be able to add back carbs after the initial "break in" period and not have an issue. I sure wish i was built that way!

    I am excited to see your progress. I know you can do this.
  • Twibbly
    Twibbly Posts: 1,065 Member
    Try to eat more fats. I ate homemade buttermints and peanut butter yesterday. The peanut butter is a bit higher carb than you want for keto, but it is still better than the Fritos and bean dip my brain was telling me I wanted (I'm focusing on not eating things that are bad for me instead of keto at the moment).

    Buttermints: http://empoweredsustenance.com/stop-sugar-cravings/ (you can make them with artificial sweeteners instead of honey)
  • carimiller7391
    carimiller7391 Posts: 1,091 Member
    Good morning... My favorite mantra at this time is to nourish my body not comfort my soul. Good foods nourish my body, Carbs comfort my soul. My soul doesn't need to be comforted if my body starts to fail due to bad choices. Maybe looking at it like this will help you out some. Big Hugs to you!!
  • tishball
    tishball Posts: 155 Member
    Big hugs to you, I am sorry that it ended, However it is better to be over and you know where you are in life rather than have a relationship go on and on when it was only making you miserable. I can understand you wanting to tuck into comfort foods now, but in reality they will only feel good while you eat them, then you feel guilty, get fatter and a spiral of self loathing is started. So while it is hard now, think of food as just that, FOOD. It's similar to giving up smoking you take one day at a time, and say each time you fancy a carb leaden item, nope not this time , and take something else instead. Perhaps don't try to keep your carb macros too low for the next week, and have some stuff with carbs but it would be better if it was from fruit and veg. Try and find snacks like pepperoni / chorizo, etc sliced and microwaved until they become crisps, then you can dunk them in cream cheese and feel soooooo bold eating them. I hear you on missing chips, nothing like a good bag of salt and vinegar, and ditto with chip shop chips swimming in vinegar. Odd though when you get your carbs in control it is easy enough to just not have them. Good luck, and when you have a new figure and get all dressed up you will feel a million , so just concentrate on that.
  • InADarkRoom
    InADarkRoom Posts: 84 Member
    @5marshallsstrong I'm not sure I can get to zero carb! I'm usually under 20g a day though. I need to stop allowing myself the odd thing here and there because times are rough. I know I'm using it as an excuse. Needs to stop. For me, diet soda just helps me feel full. I'm drinking a ton of fluid right now - diet coke, powerade zero and of course bottles and bottles of water, all of which help me to feel full. But zero carb? That's seriously hardcore! Thanks for the encouragement :smile:

    @Twibbly I do struggle to get fat in my diet - seems it mostly came from carb laden foods before and I'm not a fan of cream at all. The buttermints sound pretty good though - thanks!
  • Twibbly
    Twibbly Posts: 1,065 Member
    I save the bacon grease when I cook bacon and use it to cook veggies, meat, and whatever else I'm eating, then pour it on the top. I eat my steak with butter (it sounds odd if you haven't done it, but it tastes awesome). Cook with lots of butter/lard/tallow/bacon grease and don't drain the fat off your meat. I have problems falling off every few days as well (probably when I'm just starting to actually get into seriously burning fat - my brain suddenly wants Fritos and bean dip every time). I'm trying to stave it off this time with higher fat and more salt.
  • KarlaYP
    KarlaYP Posts: 4,436 Member
    @InADarkRoom, I learned that a couple of years ago from the psychologist I was seeing. That realization has helped me steadily lose weight (68 pounds total since then). I had given power over my health to perfect strangers! Being fat has always been my insulation against being admired by others, but no more! That was an amazing lightbulb moment for me! It did take a little while to brand that way of thinking into my brain, but I love the change in me. Holding on to that power keeps me in a good place. Hugs dear!
  • DianaElena76
    DianaElena76 Posts: 1,241 Member
    I think one thing that has really helped me is the realization that binge eating was really more self-punishment than self-help. I wouldn't allow anyone else to abuse me or force feed me, so why was I doing it to myself? This is a tough situation because on the one hand you need to allow yourself some time to grieve the loss of the relationship, but on the other hand this is the best time to recommit to yourself. When I was single and lonely I bought myself a promise ring to remind myself that I am worthwhile and lovable even when I'm alone. It was my promise to myself. Focus on reclaiming yourself and on your relationship with your son, and the rest should fall into place.
  • Artemis68
    Artemis68 Posts: 67 Member
    I know as women we aren't supposed to base our self esteem on how someone else sees us, but I tell you, at 38 years old one of my fondest memories was stopping by to say hello to my ex... I was about 40lbs less and gorgeous. His jaw hit the floor with an audible thump I swear! That felt SOOO good. And yes, that was low carbing it too. lol A goal maybe??

    Also, this book as absolutely awesome. A funny yet very helpful guide on surviving a breakup.

    http://www.chapters.indigo.ca/en-ca/books/the-girls-guide-to-surviving/9780312285197-item.html?ikwid=surviving+a+break+up&ikwsec=Books&ikwidx=0
  • jumanajane
    jumanajane Posts: 438 Member
    Big hugs and....respect! Don't you realise what an awesome job you are already doing??? Single mum to a 5 year old! !! Hey, that's no mean feat in itself!
  • jumanajane
    jumanajane Posts: 438 Member
    Damn it, I wrote a load more and MFP didn't post it again! Basically you have a child, study part time, are motivated to run and may have a job too! You are organised and doing a brilliant job without someone who doesn't appreciate you! Don't fall into a pool of crap, sorry, carbs and drown! You are sooooo much better than that!
    Hope it posts it this time!
  • SRJennings
    SRJennings Posts: 126 Member
    May I suggest that you play, really play with your five-year-old? Having a fun loving human like that is pure gold. If you can play with your child enough to get one of those awesome belly laughs from him/her, I bet you will start to feel better!
  • DittoDan
    DittoDan Posts: 1,850 Member
    GSD_Mama wrote: »
    Do you have carby food laying around? First you need to eliminate anything that is triggering your cravings. Just clean it up and make it a priority.bnever go shopping hungry, eat good foot before you leave the house that will keep you full.
    Second, the craving only last few minutes, gove it time to pass, 10-15 min should be sufficient. Stop thinking about things you can't have, change your mind and concentrate on food that is actually will benefit you in the long run and is good for you. It takes time to break the addiction to carbs, it's hard, but it worth all the misery you have to go through. You will thank yourself later and be proud of your accomplishments instead of feeling guilty all the time. Make a goal each and every day, maybe start a journal and note why and when you have a craving, you can break the pattern once you know the cause. Do something else, drink water, have a bacon and other food that you like to kill the carb thought. Go for a walk, clean, work out, anything! You can do it, rip the benefits and feel good about it!
    We can only help and encourage you but your health is in your own hands, don't give up!!
    Hugs!!

    The above is great advise. Alcoholics that want to kick the habit ~ DO NOT have bottles of Alcohol in the house! And they don't go to bars and parties. Carboholics are the same way, they are addicted to carbs. Carbs release a hormone that makes you crave them. You need to completely rid your house of carbs and only have low carbs foods around. I threw/gave away about 80 lbs of carby stuff when I started the diet.

    If your man loves you, he will help you with this endeavor. See if he can refrain from having Carbage at his house. If he doesn't help you, dump him. You are worth it.

    Start educating yourself on how to prepare Keto meals. Google it, there are millions of lo-carb recipes. Go to the store and purchase lo-carb foods only.

    I hope this helps,

    Dan the Man from Michigan
    It's Ketogenic or Bariatric! How I Found the Ketogenic Diet
    Bacon Wrapped Baked Stuffed Jalepenos
    An Alternative to Batch Cooking
    Cream Cheese, Bacon & Chicken
    Do You Like Fatty Beef? Try Corned Beef
    4 Tricks To Replace Carbs With Cauliflower
    Your Favorite Way to Eat Eggs?
  • saraphim41
    saraphim41 Posts: 205 Member
    edited June 2015
    More fat! I was addicted to crunch--ate potato chips by the bag. (Changed that to pork skins, no carbs.) But now I can walk the aisles in the stores and not even consider chips or candy.

    I am at that point where I lose most of my appetite, so many days I need to push proteins. I use chocolate whey powder mixed with Silk almond milk and a few ice cubes. Run in the blender to chop the ice--until the stuff thickens. Not really decadent but reminds me of the soft chocolate "frostie" I used to get at Wendys. :)

    Find a hobby you can do at night when you're staring at the wall. If my hands are busy, my mind is occupied and I don't miss eating. Really didn't want the food, just the "company."




  • InADarkRoom
    InADarkRoom Posts: 84 Member
    Thank you all so much for the support. I would reply to each of you individually but I can't see through my tears! Thanks again guys.
  • nikoba
    nikoba Posts: 291 Member
    edited June 2015
    Some amazing responses...and I feel your pain. My long term relationship ended in November and it took a while to snap out of the fog of it. Two things that were mentioned above that I think were true words of wisdom is that the binge eating is self punishment more than it is comfort...and playing/laughing with your child whole heartedly will help refocus your cravings (and sadness). When I read those I was like "YES!"

    You seem to have a lot on your plate and sounds like a great head on your shoulders to take it all in stride. Celebrate yourself and the good things you have. Spend time with people that make you happy and smile. Put things in your body that will nourish you and make you feel good...not guilty. Try to plan for the emotional cravings and have a substitute ready. (muffins in a minute are my cake craving substitute now...with a cream cheese frosting, mmm! pork rinds & avocado are my chip replacement)

    You can do this and you are worth it! It's time to make yourself a priority and do things to make you feel good. Mani/pedi, soaks in the tub with epsom salts and lavender oil, journal your emotions, have art days with your child...even coloring in a book can be soothing...but take the time to be good to yourself and heal.

  • Artemis68
    Artemis68 Posts: 67 Member
    Something that just occurred to me as well... right now in my life, what I would give to only have myself to cook for. Or even just me and my daughter, as I would love to have sole control over how much (or little) crap she eats. Eating low carb and getting fit was SO much easier when there wasn't someone else buying bread, cookies, chips, pop or bringing home leftover muffins and donuts from work!! Don't get me wrong, I'm glad him and my stepchildren are in my life... but man, does it ever take a lot of control away. Use this time to focus on YOU, you as a mom, you as a student and you as a person.

    So I guess I'm just pointing out that there may be a bit of a silver lining in your rough time. Hope it helps even a little bit. *hugs*
  • InADarkRoom
    InADarkRoom Posts: 84 Member
    Thank you @nikoba . I can't face eating tonight. So silver lining I guess. And I'm struggling to focus on my assignment. But tomorrow....is work and then I plan to go for a run. Again, it'll be the evening I struggle. I'm trying to work but it's hard to focus. I just want it to be a few weeks from now.... :cry:

    Really appreciate the support - honestly, you all have no idea how much it means to read your comments.
  • Twibbly
    Twibbly Posts: 1,065 Member
    Can you make plans for the evenings? Sometimes hanging out with a friend, or talking to someone you haven't talked to in a while, can make a HUGE difference in both your mood and what you eat.
  • deksgrl
    deksgrl Posts: 7,237 Member
    I would also recommend some physical activity. Like, put on some music and dance for 5 minutes once every hour, then go back to your assignment. This will release feel good hormones, it's good for you, you are getting some exercise, and it may help you to concentrate.
  • InADarkRoom
    InADarkRoom Posts: 84 Member
    It's tricky as I've got my little man in the evenings, of course. I guess I could call some friends...

    Maybe I'll just ease the pressure off for uni this week - just this week. I only have 7 weeks left to complete this assignment so no more than this week. Will I be "over it" in a week? Or at least over it enough to be able to function properly. Sometimes, I really hate being a girl...
  • cottagegirl71
    cottagegirl71 Posts: 167 Member
    I can only echo what so many wise people have already said....and love the part about spending time with your 5 year old (mine is 6 and best sound in the world is his belly laugh!)....and if things still feel rough tomorrow, or any time, come on to this forum because as I am sure you are realizing - we are friendly and supportive <3:)
  • tishball
    tishball Posts: 155 Member
    I second a lets dance five min. I read somewhere that no matter how you feel, put on a really lively song and dance to it, the endorphins will give you a buzz and you will feel more cheery. Avoid all those you broke my heart sad songs, they will just make you feel sad. Put on something jolly and daft. Dance everyday , espically with the child they will love it.
  • InADarkRoom
    InADarkRoom Posts: 84 Member
    I absolutely do realize that @cottagegirl71 ....this group has been amazing so far. So very supportive and I truly do appreciate it.

    As for my boy, I think he's getting sick of his mother hanging around all the time!! Listening to him chatter and laugh is definitely the only thing that puts a smile on my face at the minute.
  • Metruis
    Metruis Posts: 60 Member
    Oh, I hear you...

    It's cherry season now, and cherries are my ONE WEAKNESS. I can be happy on bacon and cheese forever but then bring out the cherries? Yeah, I'm done for. My spring/summer groceries consist of ice cream and cherries. D: The ice cream I can survive without but NOT MY CHERRIES. I'm just gonna... yeah... I'm gonna eat my cherries. It's better cherries than pastries, I figure. It's the gluten type of carbs that really screw me over anyway.
  • kimberwolf71
    kimberwolf71 Posts: 470 Member
    One of my downfalls when struggling with ketosis was all the "sweet" fat bombs.... it helped meet a fat macro goal, but it just fired up my brain for wanting carbs (i.e. real sugar). I had to avoid the keto-style treats, they sent my cravings through the roof and made everything more of a struggle.
  • tishball
    tishball Posts: 155 Member
    Ya know Metruis, ( how do we add someones name in a post?) I am sure if you made the ice cream , it could be low carb? I was thinking about that yesterday, cream is free? eggs are free? splenda I think is free? so maybe we can make our own? I have a recipe here somewhere on making Ice cream, all you need is one of those little icecream machines to chill it, I must look it up. If you could have a creamy icecream, and maybe one or two cherries, they can't be that high are they? if fresh?