Daily check in
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Great accomplishment ab6046
. You should be proud of yourself 0 -
Sometimes I think I'm swapping my food binges for sleep binges. Yesterday I came home at 3:30 pm, had something to eat, then went to bed and didn't wake up until 7:30 the next morning! And yet I'm still exhausted! I admit this sort of thing has been happening at least once a week lately where I just sleep and sleep and sleep. My poor body is so worn out for some reason.
I went over my calories on Saturday (not by much) so I was determined to go for a walk on Sunday but noooo the sleep monster would have none of that. And now it's Monday and I'm exhausted and I'm supposed to go to the gym at lunch and I really hope that wakes me up because ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ.
My anxiety is pretty bad today too. I had to pack up my laptop and head for the quiet room because all the talking was driving me up a wall. And now I'm in the quiet room and I'm still a jangled ball of nerves, and I have no idea why I'm so anxious today. I did have a rice krispie bar for breakfast so maybe it's the sugar.
Ugh, Mondays.0 -
@ab6046!!! I am so happy you're doing well! I love it when a plan comes together.
@RespectTheKitty, I am envious of your sleep binge. Wish I could do that.
@msty112 - Monday. Enough said.0 -
Well, the gym did wake me up, if only because I hit a major milestone today with my running. I was able to run a full mile without stopping. I haven't been able to do this since I was in my late twenties. Granted, it took me 14 minutes, but I DID IT, gosh darnit. This definitely helped my mood today.
ETA I'm currently at 237 pounds, so this is no small feat, either. 0 -
You can do this @ab6046!! Monday's are always bug stressor days for me also. I also have to go grocery shopping which gets alittle scary sometimes. I just have to control my emotions and think about how good it has felt not to binge for 5 days.
I am not sure if it is cost effective or if it a service offered where you live. We use Peapod from time to time for grocery shopping, and it helps to stay on track since you do not go into a store and it is all done online and they deliver to your door. I found it really helps with the random grabbing of junk foods.0 -
RespectTheKitty wrote: »Well, the gym did wake me up, if only because I hit a major milestone today with my running. I was able to run a full mile without stopping. I haven't been able to do this since I was in my late twenties. Granted, it took me 14 minutes, but I DID IT, gosh darnit. This definitely helped my mood today.
ETA I'm currently at 237 pounds, so this is no small feat, either.
That's awesome ! I can't even jog for over about 1 min at a time... If I do the Treadmill for 20 mins, my 'cruising speed' is 3 MPH ( I assume it's MPH.... it's a very cheap / old treadmill ) and my bursts of 'speed' are 3.5 / 4 MPH or slightly higher, if my finger slips while ramping it up... for a min at a time. While walking the dog around the block nightly after dinner, she often wants to just turn around and go back home. If I start to run, she'll show some interest, and will keep up, but I can't run up the small slope on the backside of our street for more than about 15 seconds. I often marvel at my lack of breath. Probably some punishment for smoking for 15 yrs. I also have a very sedentary job, where climbing the stairs to work each day, is the only physical part of the job. Judging from how out of breath some of my coworkers are at the top of the stairs, I'd say I'm actually at the higher end of the 'fitness' scale, than some of them. It's sad, really.
But, back to you @RespectTheKitty... That is seriously a milestone. Running a full mile, is a huge accomplishment.
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That made me grin a big, dopey grin. Thanks sloth.
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Another *kitten* day for me. Up 12 pounds from Friday. I didn't think it was possible to hate myself any more but I just keep feeling lower and lower.0
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daniellethesheep wrote: »Another *kitten* day for me. Up 12 pounds from Friday. I didn't think it was possible to hate myself any more but I just keep feeling lower and lower.
Please don't say that. I am convinced that part of the 'healing' process is learning to accept ourselves. And this is coming from someone who up until recently, billed himself as 'the most negative guy on the planet.'
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Just ate a whole bag of chocolate blueberries.
Determind to stop right now!! I had a good week stretch without a binge. Kind of disappointed that I caved in. 0 -
Just ate a whole bag of chocolate blueberries. Determind to stop right now!! I had a good week stretch without a binge. Kind of disappointed that I caved in.
The main thing is you've had a great week so far, so focus on that more than this one episode. Also...chocolate blueberries?! Apparently I haven't been living. I didn't even know those existed.0 -
Not a very good day for me. Ate a couple of handfuls of nuts after the blueberries. My stomach is now in shambles and I know I won't sleep well.
@ab6046 They are amazing. The are dark chocolate covered blueberries. I have no control with them. Didn't even now we had a package left in the house until I was riffling through the cupboard.0 -
Today didn't go well at all. I ate the majority of my calories by 3pm. Then I went to target for cleaning supplies, and picked up a box of Oreo thins. I ate 30(1,050). Grrrrrrrr.0
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It's after midnight and I'm still awake with a terrible stomach ache. I need to stop treating my body like garbage!0
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Tomorrow is weighday. I popped on the scale just to peek. I believe tomorrow will be okay. I've walked at least 3.5 intentional miles everyday day this weekweek, add that to my regular work related activity, and my total for Monday and Tuesday is nearly 15 miles of walking!
Funny how with BED you're either all binge or all good. Is there ever going to just be "normal"?0 -
That is the hope for each of us, is to be "normal". But I think there is no one size fits all treatment, or "normality" when it comes to an eating disorder. What works for one might not work for the next. Which makes it hard as hell. But as long we continue to support each other, and celebrate the successes, and pick up those who are struggling, I feel that will help.0
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So I can tell I am doing much better with the medication, got the dosing sorted out, and am feeling good. I need to start to watch my hunger cues and eat when I feel hungry. I am also noticing I am snacking more and making poor food choices. When I first took my medication I lost a lot of weight in the first month, and I ate what I wanted when I was hungry. I have realized that is not longer the case. Which means I need to start making smarter choices when it comes to the food I eat. I also noticed that having chips and junk food at my house for my kids is becoming a temptation for me as well. I eat a very small "breakfast" of a fiber one bar, I eat a plain chicken sandwich for lunch with a snack sized bag of baked lays, and that is plenty to keep my going, but when I get home I get the kids a snack then I have some potato chips, or a few pieces of candy, then dinners lately has been some form of take out. Then I have a drumstick ice cream cone for dessert. I can fit those into my calories for the day for the most part. But I do think I take responsibility and begin to make better choices of what I eat. The sad part is I am snacking and not even hungry which makes me wonder if those a mini binges? It is hard to say because my appetite is off from the meds I am on. I mean I still feel stress, I still am trying to get healthy and overcome the B.E.D, so I mean I am still prone to binge. I don't know, I just wanted to put it out there and get it off my mind.0
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irishjeepgirl1969 wrote: »Is there ever going to just be "normal"?
I feel like we have to fight for whatever our 'normal' is going to be. Clearly, all or nothing when it comes to food doesn't work for any of us. That's why I think that part of the key is to get rid of the 'diet' mentality. I think that it was restricting that got me into this, in the first place.
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I haven't binged since Friday, which is a huge feat. My bingeing tends to come and go in cycles. An on cycle involves bingeing almost daily, and an off cycle usually consists of one to toe binges a week. Usually my on cycle doesn't last for more than three months, and i, about a week over the three month mark. Not sure if up this one is over, but even if it is I know it's the calm before the next big storm. I really hope this one is over though, because it's been causing me so much distress. So my goal IF this bingeing cycle has ended is to try to reduce the size of my once to twice a week bingeing episodes, and also to try not to restrict too low.0
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I really hope I didn't jinx myself. I just really want this cycle to end.0
