Hi! I'm Karen. I'm 5'2" and weigh 187 lbs. I'm trying to get down to at least 140 lbs.

Aloha! I'm Sarah/Sid/any loud noise. This is going to be a bit of an essay because I have issues with babbling! Feel free to skip to the end!

I'm also a vertically challenged person (5'3) in a family of giants. My younger sister is a 5'8 model and mum is 5'9 (although shrinking a bit in old age) and all the guys are well over 6 foot and built like rugby players. I have no idea what happened with me, as I look like an adopted half asian hobbit. I blame my mother for smoking for the first few months of pregnancy!

I actually feel quite tall compared to the group average, so I'm enjoying this place already! I was quite petite, toned and healthy up until 2014. I have a face like a potato, so my body was always something I psychologically relied on to feel 'normal' even if I wasn't attractive. Then I had a pretty horrific break up with my ex and a few other bad events all on top of each other and basically gave up on everything except working. I put on about a stone as a result, then tried to fix it by going vegan which is a great diet for some people but absolutely disasterous for my body. I ended up in hospital with a bunch of things wrong and put on another stone as I was too exhausted to move. It doesn't sound like a lot, but on my small frame an extra two stone almost doubled my size. I also lost (what felt and looked like) all my muscle tone, as I did nothing much except sleep. To make things worse, both my younger brother and sister got married in the last two years and after seeing myself in the pictures I felt sick and was ready to get a knife and literally hack off all the fat. My sister looks absolutely stunning in all the photos and my sister-in-law (also very tall) is a PT in the military, so has a body like Lara Croft. So the difference was REALLY obvious. I've basically refused to socialise or do anything that involved potential photos since 2014, which is ridiculous.

Then on New Year's Eve I found out that I'm going to be an auntie for the first time, which is a huuuuuuuuuge deal to me as I don't have children of my own and likely never will. I want to be a good role model to my nephew when he arrives and want to be able to run around and play with him and not worry about the way I look/feel. So although I still don't want to be around people and don't want to go to a gym yet, I've bought a VR kit and got hold of a few fitness games so I can pretend I'm in my old body working out until I am actually in my old body (there's logic in there somewhere)! My avatar looks very close to how I used to look, so it's a weirdly effective psychological trick. Whenever I look in the mirror and feel like hell, I log on and pretend I'm back to being myself again.

Jan to April I didn't lose anything as my metabolism was still shot to bits and I was under strict instruction from my GP and nutritionist to focus on just eating normally again as my heart was doing odd things and I was pre diabetic. Then in May I lost the first 1lb, which was amazing after working so hard and not seeing any actual changes. Although I've noticed my hair is no longer falling out and my teeth and skin seem to have improved (I looked like a crack addict for a while), so my insides were gradually improving even if my weight wasn't. I'm also no longer pre-diabetic as of April 30th (although I'll always have to avoid sugar and watch when/what I eat) and my heart seems to be functioning normal-ish again. I'm happy that I avoided being a 30 year old heart attack case, which is a definite bonus!

At the start of the month I was given the go-ahead to start a 'proper' fitness routine and focus on weight loss and muscle building. In four weeks I've lost 4lbs mainly by jumping around like a nutter in VR (if anyone has VR, get hold of Beat Saber!) and sticking to a paleo/ketogenic mash up diet. I refused to buy any 'fat clothes' when I put on weight, so still have my frozen in time wardrobe from 2014. I've hung up random items of clothing on hangers so I see them every time I wake up and go to bed. I'm also wearing my old 'fat jeans', which I can just about squeeze up to my hips now. They are two sizes too small and I can't actually do them up (or really move in them), but I'm too bloody stubborn to buy looser ones so I've threaded a silk dressing gown cord through the waist and tie that up. It looks really stupid but you can't tell from the outside as I wear longer baggy tops, and I know it's there so it's a constant reminder for me to lose the damn weight! I only have about five items of clothing that I can get into right now, all of which are gradually falling apart despite my boss level tailoring skills. So that's even more of an incentive to get my old body back.

My nephew arrives in September, so my first goal is to lose at least another half stone by then. Although I'm trying to rebuild muscle as I lose the fat, so I'm mainly judging progress by how far I am from being able to do up my jeans without resorting to handmade belts!

That was my overly long hello! I'll sit down and be quiet now!