Doom, Despair, and Agony on Me! (aka a whine thread)

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Replies

  • bmeadows380
    bmeadows380 Posts: 3,098 Member
    well, I'm going by the 3 month numbers more than the 1 month numbers - the numbers that have been over the past 12 weeks and shows an average rate of 1.73 lb/wk. This birthday weekend was the first weekend in months that I went over my limit at the 1450 calories, so when I compare that to the other 7 online calculators, they seem to be much closer to what I'm actually experiencing than MFP was. There is a difference in that the reading I took on 1/27 was an exact scale reading, and I've now switch over to the HappyScale trend weight reading, but I don't think that's going to make that big of a difference. With all the water weight issues I've been fighting the last 3 months, the week to week loss rate has been all over the place, so I'm just taking the reading on 1/27 minus my expected reading of 259.5 tomorrow morning, and then dividing by 12 to get the 1.73 per week rate.

    So based on the 12 month average results at the 1450 and knowing that I expect to lose more over the next few months, I did go ahead and knock my calorie limit on down to 1400. That should hopefully over the next 2 or 3 months bump me back up to a 1.75 lb/wk loss rate - I hope! My brain wants to keep going at 2 lb/wk, but I do realize that eventually that has to slow down, and I know have a little less than 100 lbs to lose unlike the 200+ I need off when I started, so rationally, I know that slowing down a little is good for me, and I don't think that 1.75 lb/wk on average is too aggressive since I do have at least 90 lbs to go (or at least, for this year, 30 lbs more to go to get to 220, and then pipe dream of at least another 40 lbs after that; we'll see about that last 20, though I figure all the extra skin I have hanging around might account for 10 lbs or so......)

    I jsut take 4 basic measurements - hips, bust, waist, and what I call high waist which is the muffin top that hangs over my waist. I have been doing a lot of walking, so perhaps the fat has come off my legs this last month? I also used a different tape measure this morning, digging one out that I had here at the house since the one I had been using is in my desk at work. They're cheap tape measures, so I guess its not out of the realm of possibility that they could be different by as much as 1/2". And I also know it also all depends on how tightly I hold that tape measure, too - I doubt I'm doing it exactly the same from month to month!
  • NovusDies
    NovusDies Posts: 8,940 Member
    My point was that your exercise may be contributing more burn than you have accounted for at the moment and that knocking your calories down 50 might be premature. However, 50 calories is not likely to greatly impact your energy levels one way or the other.

    Without the recent exercise 3 months is definitely enough data. I watch my 3, 6, and 12 week rate of change. This gives me the long view and shorter views to catch changes. The 3 week is helpful if I am feeling fatigued but it is usually 6 or 12 that I use to make adjustments otherwise.

    I think 1.75 is a good rate of loss. When I was at your weight I was trying to hurry my weight loss along to get ready for surgery and it was quite miserable trying to lose faster. I was eating 1500 calories which would be 1200 for you. NOT FUN.
  • conniewilkins56
    conniewilkins56 Posts: 3,345 Member
    I certainly understand what you are feeling...I started out losing really fast and of course the weight is coming off slower now that I am getting close to my one year anniversary on May 28...some things I can think through so rationally and other things I can’t handle...( binge eating ).... it has taken me a very long time to actually admit I am an addict....I do not measure myself at all...when my clothes,shoes or rings are loose, I know I am losing inches as well as pounds....I am trying not to obsess about the rate my weight is coming off...I get weighed almost every day but I have stopped letting the scales set my mood for the day...the way I am eating now is becoming my “normal “ and my way of living...if I trust in the process of losing weight, I will continue to lose weight....I tried eating less a few weeks ago and I was not satisfied...I am reading all of your posts and comments and I take them to heart...I think you are a little too hard on yourself...you have done great and you are still fighting to take off more....maybe you should give yourself more credit and enjoy your accomplishments....you have lost weight, you feel better and you are healthier,you are exercising and your clothes fit and look better...I am very inspired by your drive....I am not a numbers person....numbers actually make my head hurt lol....hugs!
  • bmeadows380
    bmeadows380 Posts: 3,098 Member
    @NovusDies I do appreciate the advice! I realize that the exercise is going to contribute some, but I don't think I'm getting enough for it to make much of a dent in that average rate. I'll keep watch over the next 2 months as I try to keep the activity going and will keep an eye on the rates. With the sedentary job, PCOS, and having no thyroid and working on re-stabilizing my levels, I don't think my metabolism is firing at the rate that the calculators are estimating it is; I don't think I'm burning quite as many calories BMR. I know you can't break your metabolism and that the difference is minor, but I do wonder if that might explain the 60-100 calorie difference between what I am actually experiencing weight loss wise and what the calculators all say I should be burning. In any case, I definitely will have to accept a ratchet down on the weekly rate; I know I can't make it on 1200 calories!

    @conniewilkins56 According to that piece of paper they handed me at my college graduation, I'm supposedly an engineer, so numbers - at least in algebraic or calculus type problems - don't scare me at all. However, start into probability, statistics, or financial math and you lose me really quick. I get the basics and can manage a household budget just fine, but once you start into depreciation and all those investing figures, forget it :) I appreciate the sentiment, though giving myself credit is one of the hardest things I try to do, and I usually fail miserably at it. It drives my best friend crazy that I'm hard on myself, but that's also a situation of the pot calling the kettle blackie lol
  • papayahed
    papayahed Posts: 407 Member
    @conniewilkins56 According to that piece of paper they handed me at my college graduation, I'm supposedly an engineer, so numbers - at least in algebraic or calculus type problems - don't scare me at all. However, start into probability, statistics, or financial math and you lose me really quick. I get the basics and can manage a household budget just fine, but once you start into depreciation and all those investing figures, forget it :) I appreciate the sentiment, though giving myself credit is one of the hardest things I try to do, and I usually fail miserably at it. It drives my best friend crazy that I'm hard on myself, but that's also a situation of the pot calling the kettle blackie lol

    I agree with @conniewilkins56 you are hard on yourself. I had a boss once make me list my accomplishments after I came into his office whining about something I haven't completed. I'll never forget that, he reminded to take a step back every once in a while and take stock.

    @bmeadows380 like it or not, some of us see you as a bad *kitten* who is doing an awesome job despite the obstacles and struggles.
  • NovusDies
    NovusDies Posts: 8,940 Member
    papayahed wrote: »
    @conniewilkins56 According to that piece of paper they handed me at my college graduation, I'm supposedly an engineer, so numbers - at least in algebraic or calculus type problems - don't scare me at all. However, start into probability, statistics, or financial math and you lose me really quick. I get the basics and can manage a household budget just fine, but once you start into depreciation and all those investing figures, forget it :) I appreciate the sentiment, though giving myself credit is one of the hardest things I try to do, and I usually fail miserably at it. It drives my best friend crazy that I'm hard on myself, but that's also a situation of the pot calling the kettle blackie lol

    I agree with @conniewilkins56 you are hard on yourself. I had a boss once make me list my accomplishments after I came into his office whining about something I haven't completed. I'll never forget that, he reminded to take a step back every once in a while and take stock.

    @bmeadows380 like it or not, some of us see you as a bad *kitten* who is doing an awesome job despite the obstacles and struggles.

    Seems to be a defining characteristic of this group. Everyone that participates here impresses me and @bmeadows380 is definitely not an exception.
  • bmeadows380
    bmeadows380 Posts: 3,098 Member
    edited March 2020
    Thanks, guys :smiley: Though I really have a difficult time seeing myself as a bad *kitten*; I always just assume I'm the whiny, opinionated Eeyore person; comes from getting that impression from family. And my social skills are awkward at best....I'm still trying to learn how to gracefully end a conversation without an awkward silence, and to quit talking too much!

    papayahed wrote: »
    I agree with @conniewilkins56 you are hard on yourself. I had a boss once make me list my accomplishments after I came into his office whining about something I haven't completed.

    I don't see my boss ever doing that; I'd daresay that list would be rather short. There's not a whole lot of opportunity for individual achievement in my position, and I'm newer to the group anyway with a large part of that learning curve still ahead of me.
  • bmeadows380
    bmeadows380 Posts: 3,098 Member
    darn restaurant food. I got dinner at Arby's yesterday - turkey slider, no cheese, and turkey salad, no cheese no bacon, low fat Italian dressing (1 packet).

    The scale showed me being up 2 lbs this morning! I"m not concerned because even with tomorrow being weight record day, I'm still down well from last week, but its still irritating to be watching the scale drop all week then jump up like that. Water weight is such a pain, and restaurant foods have way too much sodium!
  • NovusDies
    NovusDies Posts: 8,940 Member
    darn restaurant food. I got dinner at Arby's yesterday - turkey slider, no cheese, and turkey salad, no cheese no bacon, low fat Italian dressing (1 packet).

    The scale showed me being up 2 lbs this morning! I"m not concerned because even with tomorrow being weight record day, I'm still down well from last week, but its still irritating to be watching the scale drop all week then jump up like that. Water weight is such a pain, and restaurant foods have way too much sodium!

    I am screwing with my 'numbers day' too by getting some restaurant food today. I may be even interrupting a whoosh since I was at a new low this morning. Meh. As long as I am in a deficit the lows always come back... eventually.
  • maiomaio71
    maiomaio71 Posts: 231 Member
    Not really a doom and despair post but it's been a rough few weeks. NZ went into total lockdown and we had two days to get our online classes up and running. My oldest decided not to come back to NZ and he's now in lockdown in England by himself. Upside of that is the daily chat I get with him which was only a weekly chat before isolation. I've been working hard at preparing for online lessons, struggling with not having face to face time with my students. I realize how much my teaching strategy relies on my relationship with the kids. My youngest quickly headed back to Auckland as he needed to keep training (lives at the club so he's lucky to have a gym and courts "at home"). His Uni has gone online as well so that made it possible for him to stay up there and train. So it's pretty quiet and lonely here, but I'm walking daily... increased the time and distance. And the cat is ecstatic to have company all day 😁.
  • bmeadows380
    bmeadows380 Posts: 3,098 Member
    maiomaio71 wrote: »
    Not really a doom and despair post but it's been a rough few weeks. NZ went into total lockdown and we had two days to get our online classes up and running. My oldest decided not to come back to NZ and he's now in lockdown in England by himself. Upside of that is the daily chat I get with him which was only a weekly chat before isolation. I've been working hard at preparing for online lessons, struggling with not having face to face time with my students. I realize how much my teaching strategy relies on my relationship with the kids. My youngest quickly headed back to Auckland as he needed to keep training (lives at the club so he's lucky to have a gym and courts "at home"). His Uni has gone online as well so that made it possible for him to stay up there and train. So it's pretty quiet and lonely here, but I'm walking daily... increased the time and distance. And the cat is ecstatic to have company all day 😁.

    Its times like these that my mostly loner lifestyle can be a blessing. My best friend and I usually communicate by phone anyway, so nothing has changed there, and my parents are right across the road from me - so if I don't want to risk an outright visit, I can stand in my driveway and yell across the road :smiley:

    But it has still been something to get used to with working at home. I have 5 cats and they are still getting used to be being home a lot more than usual!

    Are you able to live stream the lessons and video conference with the kids, or is it you recording the lessons and them watching them later? I can imagine how much more difficult it can be when you can't see the students and see from their expressions how well they are understanding the concept! Its like with pastors who are preaching at a camera to live stream for the parishioners who are at home - I can't imagine how much more difficult it is to try to preach at a camera than a live congregation!
  • maiomaio71
    maiomaio71 Posts: 231 Member
    We livestream the lessons but also do some pre-recording. There's a lot more preparation to do for each lesson and a lot more checking up of work to do. Making sure they're working is hard when you can't see what they're doing. So the workload has increased significantly. Not complaining...it's keeping me busy and industrious! And I'm learning lots as I do this...online teaching is very different. I just need to make more effort to move during the day not just rely on my walk for step
  • NovusDies
    NovusDies Posts: 8,940 Member
    I am feeling very low (energy) today. It doesn't help that I am sore and slightly sun toasted from my landscaping project on Saturday. I am miserable. I can't decide if I am go half deficit or full maintenance but I am going to try and fix the one part of this I might be able to fix and hope tomorrow my energy level is back up.

    My outside activity has been so limited for so long I haven't needed sunblock so I don't think I own any. That is being remedied.

    Oh yeah and I have a nasty leash burn/abrasion from my dog acting the fool so that is the cream on top the crap cake.
  • conniewilkins56
    conniewilkins56 Posts: 3,345 Member
    NovusDies wrote: »
    I am feeling very low (energy) today. It doesn't help that I am sore and slightly sun toasted from my landscaping project on Saturday. I am miserable. I can't decide if I am go half deficit or full maintenance but I am going to try and fix the one part of this I might be able to fix and hope tomorrow my energy level is back up.

    My outside activity has been so limited for so long I haven't needed sunblock so I don't think I own any. That is being remedied.

    Oh yeah and I have a nasty leash burn/abrasion from my dog acting the fool so that is the cream on top the crap cake.

    Sorry about your sunburn....living in Florida I have had a few sunburns the past 45 years...I, too forget to use sunscreen because the only time I get a lot of sun is when I am in a pool...

    I was so overwhelmed yesterday I ate maintenance calories plus a few more but I didn’t get much comfort or energy from it...in fact I got rather sick at my stomach from eating food that I usually avoid...I am so lethargic and blah from being in the house so many days in a row...my husband and I don’t go out a lot most of the time but being trapped with our daughter, her husband and both grands 24/7 is testing me to say the least...

    I see your pup/dog is still acting like our Willow...although she loves her entire “pack” is home with her all day and night...Willow ate some of the jigsaw puzzle pieces my granddaughter and I were working on...I was so aggravated with the dog I smacked her with the lid of the puzzle box!...her reaction was to give me a nip on the arm...she is also chasing bunnies in our backyard and almost pulls your arm out of the socket while she is on her leash...

    Hang in there my friend...hopefully this real life drama in our midst will end soon!...stay safe!
  • NovusDies
    NovusDies Posts: 8,940 Member
    Remember to give yourself permission not to be perfect. It is not required so try not to stress over it.
  • NovusDies
    NovusDies Posts: 8,940 Member
    I am sitting at half deficit and I am wondering if I want to risk feeling bad tomorrow because I chose not to eat 250 more calories. I would be giving up a .07 pound loss today.
  • PAV8888
    PAV8888 Posts: 11,150 Member
    NovusDies wrote: »
    I am sitting at half deficit and I am wondering if I want to risk feeling bad tomorrow because I chose not to eat 250 more calories. I would be giving up a .07 pound loss today.

    Several years later I can guarantee you that giving up any one particular day's deficit does not impact the overall program :wink:
  • PAV8888
    PAV8888 Posts: 11,150 Member
    Though I really have a difficult time seeing myself as a bad *kitten*

    You're definitely an incredibly bad *kitten*!

    A bit of a perspective comment is that your rate of loss in relation to your TDEE (I am going with Novus' calculation that your TDEE is about 2400 and that you're aiming for and achieving loss rates that are commensurate to much more than a 600 Cal deficit) is already quite fast. i.e. your deficit is already quite significant.

    You are not only losing weight but you are also developing ways of eating, moving, coping with issues, discovering yourself and your reactions to things and situations, figuring out foods and meals and recipes and items that you can use today to lose weight and tomorrow to maintain weight.

    I.e. this is a time of experimentation and exploration as opposed to just a time to white knuckle--the weight loss is the happy result of the overall process of becoming willing AND able to manage your weight and continuing to be both willing and able to do so :smiley:

    So yeah, I wouldn't worry too much about your rate of loss as long as it is generally taking you into the right direction and you are using the time to learn and discover.

    Also without any re-feeds and diet breaks and with a high and persistent loss rate it is FAR from inconceivable that you have some level of adaptive thermogenesis (AT) which would manifest as a drop in BMR. This can also be seen in the bodyweight planner based on Kevin Hall's research.

    Since you probably will understand the math, feel free to read the PDF with the dynamic equations and explain the whole thing to me as I once knew what some of these symbols meant--maybe!!! :wink:

    https://www.niddk.nih.gov/research-funding/at-niddk/labs-branches/laboratory-biological-modeling/integrative-physiology-section/research/body-weight-planner
  • NovusDies
    NovusDies Posts: 8,940 Member
    PAV8888 wrote: »
    NovusDies wrote: »
    I am sitting at half deficit and I am wondering if I want to risk feeling bad tomorrow because I chose not to eat 250 more calories. I would be giving up a .07 pound loss today.

    Several years later I can guarantee you that giving up any one particular day's deficit does not impact the overall program :wink:

    I ate a piece of peanut butter toast right after I posted that. Being miserable is the enemy of progress.
  • conniewilkins56
    conniewilkins56 Posts: 3,345 Member
    Oh how I wish I had your numerical mathematical amazing brains!....you all run my numbers and tell me how good I am doing and it gives me such a boost!...I watch my scales and my graph, see my numbers going down ( most of the time) and I think I am doing ok!...I read how active you are becoming and I am so envious of your achievements!...I keep promising myself I will find an exercise I enjoy and here I sit!...I will swim when the pool is open again and that will certainly be great for me...keep doing what you all are doing because I think it is amazing!