Doom, Despair, and Agony on Me! (aka a whine thread)

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Replies

  • NovusDies
    NovusDies Posts: 8,940 Member
    jjlewey wrote: »
    Sometimes I feel bipolar in regards to my self perception. I go from feeling like a huge cant move around fat *kitten*, to thinking I am in high school and can run a sub 7 minute mile still. I have a hard time with actual reality, I am way better than I was, but still no where near I want to be, and my brain has a hard time processing that. Trying to keep the momentum moving forward, or down, on the evil little devil scale. That's my little whine/rant for today lol.

    I have felt that way for most of my loss. You feel better because you have lost weight and it pumps you up. Then you run back into reality of something you can't do and it is, at times, depressing. Add to all that you have fat brain and you sometimes think you can't do something you can do. It is a mind kitten for sure.

    I don't have any advice for you. It sucks. It is worth going through but it sucks.
  • merph518
    merph518 Posts: 701 Member
    edited November 2019
    @jjlewey I feel that way too. For example, last night I was riding high because of a new low on the scale, so I decided to try on a bunch of not-quite-fitting-yet shirts. I figured something would probably fit now that I had dropped another 5 lbs or so since I tried last. Nope. Then I felt like a blob for the rest of the evening.
  • michne16
    michne16 Posts: 538 Member
    @maiomaio71 I definitely can relate. I have days where I just can't seem to get full despite eating on plan with meals and snacks that normally fill me up. On these days, I give myself permission to eat more healthy foods. The real trick is figuring out if you are legitimately hungry or if you just really want something. It's a struggle that I have quite a bit. If I find that I am legitimately hungry, I eat. If I determine that I just want to eat something, I try to find something to do to distract myself from fixating on wanting to eat X. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't but the main point is that I keep trying and be more aware of the difference. Generally if it happens right before bed, I just go to sleep. I have more issues when it hits during the day.
  • NovusDies
    NovusDies Posts: 8,940 Member
    Last night on my final dog walk my dog and I went a little over 2 miles which has become normal for us. I remember thinking that it was getting easier and easier to walk longer distances at a fast pace without even really feeling it.

    This morning we went for our normal 1 mile walk and I struggled from the half mile mark on.

    That'll teach me to think something is easy.
  • merph518
    merph518 Posts: 701 Member
    edited November 2019
    Ooof. I just realized that I'm within 5 lbs of my wife's weight now. It's going to be uncomfortable when I pass her, or at least when she realizes it. Sigh.

    She was already upset enough recently that she wasn't making progress while I was. This will be worse.
  • dhiammarath
    dhiammarath Posts: 832 Member
    @merph518 I have been there where your wife has been -- when my husband and I first started out, gosh he lost so quickly. I got jealous, but I had to turn that jealousy into something constructive. Ultimately, don't lose sight of all the hard work (you look awesome, btw!) you've done! I do hope that your wife can find a way to make it a constructive moment, but if not, all the hugs, man. That's rough.
  • merph518
    merph518 Posts: 701 Member
    edited November 2019
    Thanks, I hope so too. The timing isn't great with this landing around the holidays. I'm determined to stay within my budget but I have a feeling she'll let herself enjoy the holiday meals without logging.

    That's fine by me -- I hardly require her to lose, I'm happy with her how she is (though obviously we all want our loved ones to be happy/healthy) -- but I have a feeling it'll hit her harder when I pass her by and she might be seeing an uptick at the same time. I hate to see her frustrated.
  • merph518
    merph518 Posts: 701 Member
    edited November 2019
    I know that "biggest person in the room" feeling all too well. I take some comfort knowing that isn't true a lot of the time now, but I also feel guilty thinking that way.
  • conniewilkins56
    conniewilkins56 Posts: 3,344 Member
    Both of you are very inspiring and you both motivate me to keep on track....some days are just more difficult than others...I am having a really rough time this afternoon....I struggle with binging....sometimes I wish I could purge but I only do that if I can’t stuff anymore in and it has to come out on its own....excuse the visual graphics but I know what will happen if I let myself off the leash today...and that’s how I feel...like I am being physically restrained from my comfort foods...I am literally watching the clock hands moving so I can go to sleep...this is horrible...hopefully after dinner I will be in a better frame of mind...I know my trigger today is my granddaughter...she is home “ sick” and literally driving me out of my mind....mommie will be here in a few...thank God!...sorry for my rant...writing this down and re reading it, I feel a little stupid but I do feel a little better!
  • maiomaio71
    maiomaio71 Posts: 231 Member
    It's really sad that you can't enjoy this moment because you're worrying about someone else's feelings. I think that speaks volumes about the person that you are...that you put someone else ahead of yourself. We are all celebrating for you and we know how hard you've worked because we're working hard too. Hopefully your wife will be inspired and motivated too.
  • papayahed
    papayahed Posts: 407 Member
    Both of you are very inspiring and you both motivate me to keep on track....some days are just more difficult than others...I am having a really rough time this afternoon....I struggle with binging....sometimes I wish I could purge but I only do that if I can’t stuff anymore in and it has to come out on its own....excuse the visual graphics but I know what will happen if I let myself off the leash today...and that’s how I feel...like I am being physically restrained from my comfort foods...I am literally watching the clock hands moving so I can go to sleep...this is horrible...hopefully after dinner I will be in a better frame of mind...I know my trigger today is my granddaughter...she is home “ sick” and literally driving me out of my mind....mommie will be here in a few...thank God!...sorry for my rant...writing this down and re reading it, I feel a little stupid but I do feel a little better!

    You can do it!!

  • papayahed
    papayahed Posts: 407 Member
    I got thru the day in one piece and my calories only went a little over....this is a big deal for me not to have binged!

    Yay!!
  • katy9599
    katy9599 Posts: 758 Member
    @merph518 and @NovusDies — you are both sweet husbands! I have been on both sides. A couple years ago, my husband and I were both trying to lose weight. I did everything right and lost a few pounds. He gave up pop and lost 50 pounds in a week. Ok, maybe it wasn’t quite that drastic, but it was very noticeable, very quickly... and EVERYBODY commented on his weight loss, both to him and to me. And of course I just looked fatter next to him. It was pretty discouraging. Unfortunately, we both fell off the wagon and put the weight back on.

    This time around, I’m doing it on my own. Not that he’s unsupportive, but like you mentioned, I’m getting my support here rather than seeking it from him. I don’t think he has any idea how much I weigh. I certainly haven’t announced my numbers along the way, and he’s too smart to ask, lol. It’s interesting to me that you both know your wives’ numbers. That’s just not how I work.

    Anyway, my point is that even though it may be difficult at times for your wives, I’m sure they are happy and proud of you. It’s just complicated. You can’t make them want to lose their weight. When and if they’re ready to make changes, I’m sure you’ll be supportive! But for now, I think you are right to be respectful of their struggle without pushing. I finally came to the place where I was ready to make permanent changes (as you both were too!), but it wasn’t because of anything my husband did or didn’t do.
  • dhiammarath
    dhiammarath Posts: 832 Member
    NovusDies wrote: »
    ...[snip]... The one thing to learn here at LL is that we all have struggles in common but our paths are not all the same. No one will hopefully face the exact same skin situation I did but I have no clue what it is like to battle regular binge urges and some of the other things I see others fighting through. The rewards are worth it but they come at a higher price than just not eating all you want and being forced to move more.

    This resonates: we all have different struggles, we all experience the world differently, but it is nice that we can also learn from what others went through. Even if it is not exactly like what we (collective) are going through right now. Even if what I struggle with isn't something that someone else can get behind, it is helpful to know that you aren't struggling alone. Others are out there, in the mire, working through it. You can call out, get a reply, and know that the path may be empty ahead, but you are not alone in the dark.

    Anyway, nothing really of substance to add, but that it resonates.
  • maiomaio71
    maiomaio71 Posts: 231 Member
    @merph518 sorry I didn't mean to come across as disrespectful towards your wife or you. I just meant that you are an amazing guy for thinking of someone else's feelings ahead of your own. We walk a tricky path with this every day don't we. I feel like a hypocrite when talking to my boys about nutrition. They're professional athletes and I often chat about some of the woo stuff they get told. But here I am, obese, and I think I'm a terrible role model.
  • merph518
    merph518 Posts: 701 Member
    I didn't take it that way, no worries!