What's on your mind today?
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@epangili That's why we're all here, because we have problems with food and/or exercise. Every day is a new day where we can start over with a fresh beginning.
I'm a sugar fiend, too. Since I have problems with sweets, I don't hestitate to throw them away. You can also give them to a food bank, I believe.
Start again tomorrow and remember one thing: you're worth the effort.
Thanks Hollis for your encouragement and support. I guess I feel bad because my 72 year old mom took the trouble to bake them... I ate two, gave 5 away, and trashed the plus 30 pieces... but once I start to takes a while to come down. I don't think food bank will accept homemade treats... unusual ones at that too - Hawaiian fruit nut cakes. Now, that I know 100% I cannot trust myself, I won't hesitate to trash it without my mom knowledge.3 -
@SuziQ113 Thanks for the good thoughts. Yes, my employer provides masks and gloves. I wear a mask the entire time I work with disinfectant, so I believe I'm probably okay there.
Said a few prayers for essential workers like yourself today. It's national day of prayer today. 💕🌹🤗🙏4 -
8th May, a holiday in France, VE Day. It looks grey outside and it feels chilly.
I am truly grateful I woke up this morning as I was having horrible dreams all night, looking for shoes, food for my granddaughter in an incredibly messy house. I only found yoghurt @alligatorob! 😟 What's all that about, Dr Freud?
A few 'negative' gratitudes:
- I am grateful that I do not live in an earthquake zone @lexabeep, how annoying but mildly frightening as well?
- I am grateful my Mum is too far away to lavish all the wrong things on to me! Why ever do Mums not listen when we tell them that we just cannot eat all those goodies @epangili? Keep posting!
- I am grateful though I still have a Mum and that she calls me every morning at 8.30 on the dot!
Have a good day everyone! Enjoy your coffee, with or without flavourings. The French woman I am rapidly becoming shudders at the thought!
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@SuziQ113 Icecream! I'll feed my roaring inner cheese wolf today, may have to declare a Pass Day... I'm grateful I have never really had a sweet tooth... Possibly my Mum's doing, I grew up without sweets, and cakes and biscuits were strictly limited to the odd something at teatime.... I like a nice icecream though from time to tim and find it hard to resist a well made creme brulee...3
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Here's to creme brulee and enjoying special occasions! My Mum's not slim, but not too overweight either. I think some of her problems are connected to Dutch Hunger Winter, -1944 - 45, rationing and trying to look after her kids after, i.e.. me, my brother and my sister.
This is no excuse for me, born way after. I have make my choices every day.1 -
@epangili Thanks for your kind thoughts, prayers much appreciated.
I understand how you feel about discarding a mom gift made with love. Last year, for the first time in my life, I started openly refusing sweets ahead of time -- no thanks, no thanks, but I appreciate the thought -- which made some people upset, but they eventually accepted it. It's hard.
Today is a new day for all of us.
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I'm struggling again... all started my mom lavishing me with belated birthday and easter treats last weekend... I tried giving it away to neighbors and friends but way too much and not enough takers. Today is my 3rd pass on uac... too ashamed to log it. I threw out the rest of the treats in the trash as I'm ashamed of 3rd in a row of passes for May. Then when I overdo the calorie budget, I throw caution to the wind and indulge. I'm having a hard tume getting back on track with out of control snacking and growing too content with my normal bmi range rather than motivated for ideal doctor's goal. I will try again tomorrow morning... Atleast exercise isn't an issue.
I love my mom but she is a feeder. It’s how she shows love. Her house is right on the ocean, absolutely beautiful, but I avoid going there too often. She’s an amazing cook. I gain 5 pounds over a weekend when down there. I have asked her to cut it back a bit but she insists I just need self control. So I avoid going and feel guilty but healthy. It’s hard. Throwing it away may make you feel guilty but healthy, and that has to be okay. Especially if it’s hard to get off the sugar need. Let go of your shame. We are all human and we are all here because of our difficulties managing healthy, appropriate eating. When I first joined this challenge, I had sooo many pass days. But with each month, this becomes more of just the way I live and not the constant watchful struggle. Eventually the tide turns and you go from many pass days and fewer days when you meet all 3 goals to many days where you reach all 3 goals and have fewer pass days. The key is not to throw in the towel when we have a bad day but to just get back to it immediately. If I have a bad morning and eat way too much, I have learned not to say oh well and continue the pattern for the rest of the day. I now take a deep breath and get back on track for lunch etc. I don’t starve myself after the morning disaster, I eat what I would normally eat for the rest of the day, knowing that I will be over, but I need to get right back to what I would do without the morning slip — this way I don’t get overly hungry and start binging by the evening — I can’t let that viscous cycle start. I try to make the morning a learning experience. So, no shame. We are all learning about ourselves. Our strengths. Our weaknesses. What works. What doesn’t work. I’m sending big hugs to you.5 -
(They don't have the fountain of tears on the website)
it SNOWED last night! There is WHITE STUFF on the ground out there!!!!2 -
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@epangili sorry about that! You could also see if any treats are freezable. I made cookie dough a couple weeks ago and was eating two spoonfuls a day until I froze it in individual portions. I haven't eaten any since! Though I know it's there if I want it, but having it frozen adds a time-delay that's helpful for self control.4
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10 ways to be kind to yourself (a MFP blog)
https://blog.myfitnesspal.com/small-ways-to-be-kind-to-yourself-right-now/
Which one will you try first? Which one would you recommend to a family member or friend ( and why THAT one?)3 -
Chinkiri thank you for your encouragement and sympathy... I think it's my mom's way of coping with covid closures- baking.
cjane917 great idea and I do freeze some treats I bake making me able to slow my roll but some things just need the trash because I can't be trusted with everything.
Hollis100 you are an inspiration
readyornot1234 Amen!!! Thank you for sharing your experience and words of encouragement and hugs.
Coach, that was exactly the article I needed - thank you! All of them, now, and everyone!
@lexabeep, where do you live? I'm in central coast California but we don't get alerts for earthquakes... is there a website or service to sign up for this?
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Saturday 9th May
Late post! See below!
- I am grateful for Saturdays! During this confinement the days flow into each other, but it's still nice to see on my watch and my tablet that it's Saturday. My youngest son in UK won't be working, I might be able to get hold of him. I won't be getting 'work' emails. I try and stick to a Saturday routine, whatever that may be these days, so, late post.
- I am grateful for work! I see some construction going on round the corner from my home. I had an email from my employer, who are thinking about restarting exams at some point. I've missed work!
- I am grateful for plants and flowers. Montpellier's Mayor has supported a scheme to plant greenery in urban streets, so we now have jasmine flowers everywhere. The smell is great! I'll post some pictures soon. Some of you must live in urban areas like me? Pictures?
- I am grateful for my 'status'. My Mum told me this morning that there has been a Corona virus outbreak in the Asylum Seekers centre near her. There are 500 people stuck in there and 25 have now been diagnosed with the virus. They had not been confined as they were already traumatised, so now the local population is scared. I am grateful for my secure status as a European, always able to travel from the Netherlands, my home country, to UK, where I lived and worked for many years and now to France. I hope this will continue after lockdown!
Lots of love to all of you!6 -
10 ways to be kind to yourself (a MFP blog)
https://blog.myfitnesspal.com/small-ways-to-be-kind-to-yourself-right-now/
Which one will you try first? Which one would you recommend to a family member or friend ( and why THAT one?)
I've actually put these in to motion when I decided it was time to get back to healthy. Near the end of March I reinforced all because I decided that covid19 took enough away from me and it wasn't going to derail all of my accomplishments.
When counseling friends and coworkers my first suggestion is to get out and enjoy nature. There are numerous reasons such as exercise, fresh air, quiet and breaking up the routine.4 -
This is almost a question for the sake of it. If you live in an apartment, in an urban area, parks and beaches closed, where do you go?1
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10 ways to be kind to yourself (a MFP blog)
https://blog.myfitnesspal.com/small-ways-to-be-kind-to-yourself-right-now/
Which one will you try first? Which one would you recommend to a family member or friend ( and why THAT one?)
I am making a concerted effort to be more accepting of myself. I have also started meditating right before bed and right when I wake up. I am always a bundle of stress, anxiety and energy and then I hit a wall and don’t move. Meditation is starting to even me out.
@Chinkiri - I am not in an urban area. I know many people in urban apartment ps that are fleeing the city. My son’s lease in Boston is up on July 1. He just found a place in the suburbs because he has been cooped up in an apartment building and wants open space again.2 -
I love my mom but she is a feeder. It’s how she shows love. Her house is right on the ocean, absolutely beautiful, but I avoid going there too often. She’s an amazing cook. I gain 5 pounds over a weekend when down there. I have asked her to cut it back a bit but she insists I just need self control. So I avoid going and feel guilty but healthy. It’s hard. Throwing it away may make you feel guilty but healthy, and that has to be okay. Especially if it’s hard to get off the sugar need. Let go of your shame. We are all human and we are all here because of our difficulties managing healthy, appropriate eating.
@readyornot1234 I appreciate your post. My mother is deceased now, but one of the biggest regrets of my life is that I didn't set boundaries with her. I tried and couldn't, so I would stay away from her because she overran me in the worst way. I couldn't fully stand up to her because I felt it would be disrespectful, but now I know I was wrong. Saying no is not disrespectful.
I believe this "battle" between mothers and daughters is one of the most important of our lives. Our mothers will always see us as children that they have to take care of, plus there are many cultural issues about food, control, and other things.
We are not children. We have to acknowledge our own adulthood and set boundaries, acknowledge the love, but learn to say no for our health, our sanity, and our own self-respect. Setting a boundary and acknowledging our own needs -- especially with other out of control people -- is hugely important.
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@Chinkiri
I live in an apartment in Washington DC in a neighborhood about a ten minute drive (or 10 min walk + 10 min metro) to downtown. I've been doing lots of walking around neighborhoods. I found a new one nearby that I hadn't walked in before. It's mostly just going up and down streets on the grid system and admiring the different rowhouses and their landscaping out front. I feel like I "should" be biking or walking to the large city park or checking out new areas by bike, but I've found the easiest is just to head out on neighborhood walks instead.2 -
I miss thrift store shopping to celebrate my weightloss journey and leisure time finding treasures. When this covid closures end Im have bags to donate to make room for new finds for my new size. 6s are way too big now...4
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@Hollis100 - I totally agree with you. I have tried to have the conversation and it just hurts her feelings. The problem is she’s an incredible cook. 100% Sicilian. I didn’t know spaghetti came in a box until I ate at me boyfriends one night. It’s not real if you’re not rolling in out on the table and drying it on racks made out of coat hangers. Mmmmmm. How on earth am I supposed to have self control?5
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@readyornot1234 Again, I sympathize with you. I have no answers and wish I did. Looking back, there were many things my mother wanted me to do that were objectively good things -- and were her goals and wants and wishes, not mine.
I don't know if you can have The Conversation again, but try sometime, and if you have health problems, use that, and maybe quote a doctor. Good luck, and may we all forgive ourselves and our mothers.3 -
It has been almost four years since my mom died. There were so many lessons she taught me. I am so thankful she instilled in me everything she thought she was not. She always told me how much she loved me and I was beautiful, strong, and smart. She raised me to be an independent woman. Many of the lessons I was taught took me quite some time to to fully comprehend and instill in to my understanding of the world.
Being raised as a very strong person, and by personality highly opinionated, she would tell me, "Suzi, you must remember there are shades of grey, not everything is black and white.". This is one of the constants that runs through my head when people act in questionable ways to me. The snarky person in line in front of you may have just lost a parent, the person who is always smiling and joking may be depressed, the person who sits quietly may actually have something important to say but is not comfortable speaking out loud, and between the black and the white many times that is where the truth stands.
I miss my mom. TG when I am quiet I can still hear her voice telling me she loves me.
Our mother's expressions of love should never be taken for granted. For those who struggle with the feeders we can always plan for those visits. Walk an extra mile, eat a light meal beforehand so we plan for the calories, or take the leftovers and pass them on to next homeless person you see on the street or an elderly neighbor.
@readyornot1234 - If my mom was making me homemade pasta I would drink water all day until I visited! LOL. I did not even know pasta existed until invited to a friend's house for dinner at the age of 12. My friend's mother served (now this is gross), Ragu out of the jar and spaghetti from a box! I had died and gone to heaven. These days I do have to limit my love of pasta but do plan for it every now and then.2 -
Ahhh, my mom. She is one of the most important people in my life and has given so much to me and all my siblings and many others. She is a retired nurse. @SuziQ113 - she raised my sister and me to be extremely strong, outspoken, confident women and my brothers to be respectful of women (and how to vacuum, cook, do laundry, etc). These were traits she acquired on her own because as a first generation she was raised to be subservient to men and meet their every need with a smile. She was the first in her family to go to college. On my dad’s side of the family, it was me and my siblings to be the first. So my parents figured all of this out on their own and provided every opportunity to us foregoing any of their wants. Please do not misunderstand me, I love my parents, I am grateful they are my parents, and I do whatever I am able for them. I miss them. We are driving down this afternoon to sit in their yard, at a social distance, and eat sandwiches we are bringing for ourselves, for Mother’s Day. It’s not perfect but who knows how many more of these days and any day we each have.
@Hollis100 - I’m with you. I wish I had the answers. My parents passed overweight many years ago. They each have some health problems. It’s hard to watch them overeat and lose more mobility. They seem happy so is it me having a hard time watching them get older? Is that my fear? My mom grew up in a very critical and sometimes abusive household. When I try to discuss things with her she gets defensive and hurt. That’s from her childhood. I try to be conscious of where she is coming from and my need to want control and perfection.
You’re both right, life and relationships are so complicated. Most of life is grey.3 -
@Hollis100 I hope that you are feeling better.I made an appointment to get a virus test tomorrow morning. I have a few symptoms, extreme fatigue and shortness of breath when I exercise, which might be from wearing a mask for 8 hours and doing a mindblowing amount of exercise at work -- I'm probably okay, but want to be cautious.
The medical center told me I have to self-quarantine until I know the test results, which should be available in 2-3 days.
I bought extra fruit, veggies, and tons of cat food today in case I am actually sick and have to stay at home for two weeks or more. Again, I'm probably okay, just want to be careful.
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@Chinkiri Add me too! Glad you are feeling better!Thank you for all the hugs! I feel a lot better this morning, having slept quite a lot, with lots of waking up, but still...
So, that's the first thing I am grateful for.
- I also am grateful that yesterday's horrible headache has gone
- I am grateful that my partner gave me a hand clearing weeds off the terrace. It's something he can still do for me. He has Alzheimer's, so there are not so many other things he can help me with.
- I am grateful for the beautiful weather. I don't need any shopping today, so I can use my full hour for a walk, which I am also grateful for.
- I am grateful for the light at the end of the tunnel. From Monday we can go out when we want, for however long, much further and without a document. I'm planning bike rides...
Have a good day everyone or make the best of whatever rotten day you're having!
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My mom lives about 45 minutes away, but I haven’t seen her since early February, because she’s high risk. She is an amazing lady! We talk on the phone several times a week.
I’ve heard from half of my kids. The two I didn’t hear from ? Not surprised. One doesn’t know what day it even is half the time and the other disowned me for being mad that he wouldn’t wear his mask at work, or anywhere, for that matter. 🤷♀️
Still painting like a fiend. I’m hoping we can finish before the floors come in.5 -
It's Mother's day and the start of birthday week. Shrimp cake dinner.....all this for under 450 calories!
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Wonderful afternoon with my parents. We social distanced on the back deck. We brought sandwiches but my mom made a whole thing. It was a bit cold and windy but lovely.4
