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  • NovusDiesNovusDies Member, Premium Posts: 8,942 Member Member, Premium Posts: 8,942 Member
    Firefly743 wrote: »
    NovusDies wrote: »
    Firefly743 wrote: »
    Hi everyone!

    I'm not sure how many times I've tried to lose weight before - I had a semi-successful run 2 1/2 years ago when I lost 55 pounds. But then I let life get in the way and I gained it all back - and then some. I let everything else take priority and always put myself last, it's what I'm good at.

    So this year, pre-COVID I decided to recommit to my health, to my life. I don't want to do this anymore - I don't want to be fat - I don't want to be classified as morbidly obese. Ugh, that just sounds so gross and so awful and dreadful. I don't want that anymore. I mean, I look in the mirror and while I don't exactly have a great body image, I just don't think "morbidly obese". I want a better life - I want to feel better - I want to have a better relationship with food - and I want to feel better mentally.

    I started seeing a new doctor to help me with my weight loss. I have also started seeing a psychologist that works with bariatric patients (though I'm not having WLS, it helps he gets the weight loss side of things). Adding the "shrink" has definitely helped me this time around!! I have a great medical team to help me and it really makes all the difference in the world for me!

    So right now I'm 60 days in, and I'm down 24.8 pounds (plus the 5.4 pounds I lost before I joined MFP). It's a great start, but I have a lot more to go. I hesitate to put a final goal number out there because I don't know what it would look like or what I'd be happy with - but I know I want to be under 200. So for now, I just take it one day at a time, with "healthy" being my goal. This isn't a diet...this isn't a lifestyle change, it's a life change. I'm changing my life!!!

    Hi @Firefly743,

    Welcome.

    Great progress so far!

    Can I suggest that you change from your goal being "healthy" to being "healthier"? It may not be important to you but it was important to me. Healthier is attainable. I am healthier today than I was yesterday. The improvement is so slight it would not show up on any test but there is improvement. As I keep gathering improvements they add up to noticeable changes in health and life. Healthy has too many definitions and variables and no matter what you decide it means you may have to settle for slightly less. I am far more healthy than I was more than 250 pounds ago but because I carried my weight so long and my age I have some limits to how much better it gets from here.

    I would not worry about a goal weight. I decided I would worry about it when I got down to my final 20-25 pounds and that is exactly what I have done. There is nothing you can do about how much total weight you may need to lose today. There is something you can do about the small amount you can lose today and then tomorrow go after another small amount.

    I understand and respect what you are saying. At this point though, I can't change the goal to "healthier" for the very reason you stated, "I am healthier today than I was yesterday". So for me personally, when things get tough, I'd see that as permission to stop because 'yeah, I've taken off 30 pounds and because of it, lots of things have already started to improve, I am in fact healthier'. It's just how my mind works.

    But you're right, healthy does have too many definitions and variables - so when I reach my limit, that's going to be ok. I don't have a goal of perfection in mind - but wherever I end up, hopefully is a long way from where I am now. :)

    I can understand how you might see it that way. This is followed up by my other goal with continued progress until it reaches an end where it moves to maintenance. Since being "skinny" was never a goal for me I am actually pretty okay with me as I am. However, I can lose more and I have more to lose. It is not a hardship as of right now. Fitness is the same way. I have room for improvement. I can continue to improve. When it reaches a place where it requires too much time and it negatively impacts my life balance I will switch it to maintenance too.

    I do focus on a day to day process of improvement. I want the process to drive the goals and I want it to be a process I can execute at least partially even on unmotivated days. I have no desire to stop right now. The NSVs I have gotten are so incredible I want to see if I can get more before it is done.
  • Firefly743Firefly743 Member Posts: 119 Member Member Posts: 119 Member
    Welcome @Firefly743
    Can’t wait to get to know you!

    Thank you! I'm excited to get to know you as well! :)
  • AlexandraFindsHerself1971AlexandraFindsHerself1971 Member Posts: 2,399 Member Member Posts: 2,399 Member
    NovusDies wrote: »

    I can understand how you might see it that way. This is followed up by my other goal with continued progress until it reaches an end where it moves to maintenance. Since being "skinny" was never a goal for me I am actually pretty okay with me as I am. However, I can lose more and I have more to lose. It is not a hardship as of right now. Fitness is the same way. I have room for improvement. I can continue to improve. When it reaches a place where it requires too much time and it negatively impacts my life balance I will switch it to maintenance too.

    I do focus on a day to day process of improvement. I want the process to drive the goals and I want it to be a process I can execute at least partially even on unmotivated days. I have no desire to stop right now. The NSVs I have gotten are so incredible I want to see if I can get more before it is done.

    This is sort of where I am headed. I still have eighty to a hundred pounds to lose, but my goals aren't any one number, it's a look and a feel of my body. It's becoming clear that under the fat is not a willowy sylph of a woman, but a muscular, strong, curvaceous brick house of a woman, and I like that and so do my partners. So I'm not headed for getting out of overweight nearly as much as I want to be able to squat my bodyweight, and still be flexible enough to palm the floor. (I can palm the floor now, to be fair.)

  • NovusDiesNovusDies Member, Premium Posts: 8,942 Member Member, Premium Posts: 8,942 Member
    NovusDies wrote: »

    I can understand how you might see it that way. This is followed up by my other goal with continued progress until it reaches an end where it moves to maintenance. Since being "skinny" was never a goal for me I am actually pretty okay with me as I am. However, I can lose more and I have more to lose. It is not a hardship as of right now. Fitness is the same way. I have room for improvement. I can continue to improve. When it reaches a place where it requires too much time and it negatively impacts my life balance I will switch it to maintenance too.

    I do focus on a day to day process of improvement. I want the process to drive the goals and I want it to be a process I can execute at least partially even on unmotivated days. I have no desire to stop right now. The NSVs I have gotten are so incredible I want to see if I can get more before it is done.

    This is sort of where I am headed. I still have eighty to a hundred pounds to lose, but my goals aren't any one number, it's a look and a feel of my body. It's becoming clear that under the fat is not a willowy sylph of a woman, but a muscular, strong, curvaceous brick house of a woman, and I like that and so do my partners. So I'm not headed for getting out of overweight nearly as much as I want to be able to squat my bodyweight, and still be flexible enough to palm the floor. (I can palm the floor now, to be fair.)

    The other part of this that I did not mention is that my doctor is good with my weight for now too. He was actually still good with it while I was still over the obese line. I wasn't far over but more than 10 pounds as I recall. This is because the risk of weight and the health improvements are individual. The statistical models give us an idea but not a hard and fast number.

    I am pretty happy with looking "decent" in clothes. I wouldn't mind losing a little more of my back fat before I stop but I can't target where I will lose the next few pounds. If after working on my composition for a year the back fat is still there and bothering me I may go back to losing again. I may not. No matter if you pick a goal weight or not you are not marrying the number. If you get close and it become a slog you can hit pause, practice maintenance for a time and come back to it... or not. You might get there and think you might want to lose 5 more. I am stopping short so I can work on converting fat into muscle. In theory this will keep me from doing bulk and cut sessions at least until I am comfortable doing them. I do not need to build a lot of muscle but I do need to add some otherwise even if I lose more I will still be "skinny fat". I see it now even though I am not close to skinny yet. I always knew that losing as much as I have would end this way. I am not down about it at all. I am too happy with my results to be upset but I do need to remain objective about it. The scale shows me a much happier number but because I have lost some muscle it means my composition is off and my percentage of fat is higher than the scale number reflects. I have worked on protecting my muscle but some loss with losing as much as I have was part of it.
  • bmeadows380bmeadows380 Member Posts: 3,048 Member Member Posts: 3,048 Member
    @NovusDies I see the time you posted the above, and looks like you were getting up not long after I went to bed.....this is what happens when you are having a great conversation with your best friend and lose track of time. At least it was Saturday night, though I'm quite irritated that the cats woke me up at 7:30 this morning and my body decided to be wide awake and the house has become too warm, and my body aches from yesterday's wood chopping/saw running/tractor driving foray started catching up with me......

    I'd love to be able to choose the spots where my body decides to take the weight, though looks like this summer it was doing it from a couple of locations I was happy about!

    I've decided to put Jiu-jitsu on hold for now because I know I really need to look into weight training myself; I have noticed that I've lost what I consider to be a good deal of my strength. Though swinging a splitting maul the last few days has to count as some weight training exercise! Still, I can't afford to do both and I feel that I need the strength training more, and want to work with a trainer for at least a month to make sure I have the form correct so I am truly working the muscle groups I intend to work and so I don't hurt myself; I'm 40 and not nearly as flexible as I used to be......

    @Firefly743
    You're in great company in this group; I think most of us have lost weight and put it back on over the years! But it sounds like you have solid strategy in place this time around!

    I had a couple of numbers in mind when I started. I put 220 lbs as my long term goal, and then pretty much promptly ignored that and focused on those smaller milestone (I started at 375 lbs). Truthfully, I don't think I truly thought 220 lbs was possible. I knew I could lose 100 lbs because I had done that before, but I think in the back of my mind, I didn't think I'd ever break the 275 limit. I hit that 100 lbs off in summer of 2017 and was in a plateau by the end of that year that lasted 18 months and led to a 30 lb regain. In my case, I finally found what had led to the plateau as my thyroid meds were off and I had become very hypo-thryoid, and I found that my thyroid levels have a major impact on my hunger control. When we got the meds back to what was proper for me or even low for me, I started losing weight again at a good clip. Then I started adding in activity, and right now, though I have learned that heat and humidity is another major factor in my ability to lose weight, I'm actually 3 lbs away from that 220 lb goal that I had set but never really thought was possible.

    Now that I'm so close to it, I'm actually entertaining the idea that I could even maybe get back under 200 lbs, so when I finally reach that 220 lb loss, I'll be resetting my goal to the other number I had in mind: 180 lbs. I've always thought how wonderful it would be to be 180 lbs, but definitely considered that a pipe dream up there with winning the lottery 5 times in a row - nice to dream about but not remotely gonna happen in my life time. But now, what used to be a pipe dream has started shifting closer to a possible reality.

    164 lbs is what is considered the upper limit of BMI for me as a 5'8 1/2" female, but I don't have any plans of trying to reach that weight - I know I don't have the fortitude it would take to have to be so dead on accurate to lose at 0.5 lbs/wk long term. I think my goal now is to get somewhere south of the "obese" label. Though I think my doctor would be quite happy if I stalled out even where I am now; she's thrilled I've lost what I have, and I haven't seen her in a year since I dropped the extra 50 lbs for a total of 150 lbs off from where I was. I'll be seeing her in 3 weeks, and I'm actually looking forward to it!
  • Firefly743Firefly743 Member Posts: 119 Member Member Posts: 119 Member
    @bmeadows380
    Thanks - I'm excited to be here and meet you guys. I think this group will really be able to help me out - in many ways!

    And you personally have done an awesome job - congratulations! It must be so exciting to be so close to that first major goal you set - how awesome!! You'll crush it in no time!!

    I'm excited to hear how your appointment with your doctor goes - I'm sure it will be a great appointment. I'm sure she will be thrilled with your progress!
  • CcricfoCcricfo Member, Premium Posts: 156 Member Member, Premium Posts: 156 Member
    Hey everyone - just wanted to introduce myself. My name is Ben, I've done this whole rollercoaster thing far too many times. Most recently an almost 80 pound loss in 2015. I was injured, and unfortunately spent 2-3 years arguing with doctors about the injury and pain I was experiencing in my lower leg. An MRI finally confirmed an extra tendon in my ankle, which had become inflamed, and after a successful surgery I was ready to go. So I thought... I let myself get busy, not have time, ate like crap and since the surgery the fall of 2018, I've gained it all back and more - topping the scales on August 31st of this past year at 345. That is officially the heaviest I've ever been, and the heaviest I will ever be.

    I am coming for it this time for real.

    Have myself set up to lose 2 pounds a week, and since the 31st, I'm down 12 pounds, this is always how it goes though - comes off fast at first then turns into a slugfest when the water weight/retention has cleared my system. Not exercising at the moment - I'm focusing on getting baseline habits and food under control for the first couple weeks, then going to be adding in swimming and walking for cardio, with a focus on building lean muscle using Stronglifts. I have a tendency (and pattern) to go all out and burn myself out - so doing what I can to have this be more gradual and therefore a lifestyle change, as opposed to a "I can do anything for 6 months" change.

    Might not end up super active here - as I'm already trying to keep an Instagram blog/journey which eats time, but wanted to check in, so that if/when I start posting on things - people aren't wondering, "Who is this guy?"

    Good to be here, and I look forward introducing you to the 195 pound me.

    @benjaminlight
    Welcome Benjamin! I'm glad you joined us. I'm only 3 months in but this group has been a lifesaver....there is a lot of discussion, so sometimes it is hard to keep up, but there are some real success stories here that have inspired me to keep going. Take care...
  • speyerjspeyerj Member Posts: 1,264 Member Member Posts: 1,264 Member
    @benjaminlight - Hello and welcome. Sounds like you've taken stock of what worked well and not so well in the past and you learned that throwing everything you've got into losing weight only led to burn out later on. I also found that starting slow and building on adding new healthier habits overtime made my recent weight loss attempt so much more sustainable. Like you, I started with monitoring my food and sticking to a deficit I could live with. I didn't even think about exercise for the first 3 months, I just concentrated on the calories in side of the equation, because that alone was hard enough in the beginning. Eventually I added strength training and cardio, but again, slowly and in a way that made me want to keep at it.

    Keeping at it is the key. When you have more than 100 pounds to lose, you know it's going to take at least a year or two to get to your goal, so white knuckling it doesn't work. Sounds like you are ready to start a plan you can stick to for good.
  • bmeadows380bmeadows380 Member Posts: 3,048 Member Member Posts: 3,048 Member
    speyerj wrote: »
    @benjaminlight - Hello and welcome. Sounds like you've taken stock of what worked well and not so well in the past and you learned that throwing everything you've got into losing weight only led to burn out later on. I also found that starting slow and building on adding new healthier habits overtime made my recent weight loss attempt so much more sustainable. Like you, I started with monitoring my food and sticking to a deficit I could live with. I didn't even think about exercise for the first 3 months, I just concentrated on the calories in side of the equation, because that alone was hard enough in the beginning. Eventually I added strength training and cardio, but again, slowly and in a way that made me want to keep at it.

    Keeping at it is the key. When you have more than 100 pounds to lose, you know it's going to take at least a year or two to get to your goal, so white knuckling it doesn't work. Sounds like you are ready to start a plan you can stick to for good.

    I echo all this as well as the bright welcome :) You've got a plan in place, and if you have a question, advice, or just want to shoot the breeze with a few folks who know where you've been, where you are, and perhaps where you're going, you're more than welcome to drop us a line!
  • NovusDiesNovusDies Member, Premium Posts: 8,942 Member Member, Premium Posts: 8,942 Member
    Hey everyone - just wanted to introduce myself. My name is Ben, I've done this whole rollercoaster thing far too many times. Most recently an almost 80 pound loss in 2015. I was injured, and unfortunately spent 2-3 years arguing with doctors about the injury and pain I was experiencing in my lower leg. An MRI finally confirmed an extra tendon in my ankle, which had become inflamed, and after a successful surgery I was ready to go. So I thought... I let myself get busy, not have time, ate like crap and since the surgery the fall of 2018, I've gained it all back and more - topping the scales on August 31st of this past year at 345. That is officially the heaviest I've ever been, and the heaviest I will ever be.

    I am coming for it this time for real.

    Have myself set up to lose 2 pounds a week, and since the 31st, I'm down 12 pounds, this is always how it goes though - comes off fast at first then turns into a slugfest when the water weight/retention has cleared my system. Not exercising at the moment - I'm focusing on getting baseline habits and food under control for the first couple weeks, then going to be adding in swimming and walking for cardio, with a focus on building lean muscle using Stronglifts. I have a tendency (and pattern) to go all out and burn myself out - so doing what I can to have this be more gradual and therefore a lifestyle change, as opposed to a "I can do anything for 6 months" change.

    Might not end up super active here - as I'm already trying to keep an Instagram blog/journey which eats time, but wanted to check in, so that if/when I start posting on things - people aren't wondering, "Who is this guy?"

    Good to be here, and I look forward introducing you to the 195 pound me.

    Hi @benjaminlight Ben,

    Welcome.

    12 pounds is a great start. Even if some of it is water that is less weight to carry around.

    All or nothing thinking and plans based on fairy tale scenarios of endless motivation and discipline have gotten in the way of many people here and I am no exception. I am not sure why as a culture we take something like weight loss which has an overwhelming fail rate and we think "how can I make it harder?" but somehow we do it and I did it over and over failing to learn from my mistakes... until recently.

    As far as your participation I encourage you to at least come by when you are having or had a bad/weak day. Be reminded that progress is not dependent on perfection. Weight loss is not fragile it is how we view it that can be fragile. Plenty of people here, myself included, have lost a lot of weight and had a number of days that didn't go that well.
  • Dante_80Dante_80 Member Posts: 245 Member Member Posts: 245 Member
    Oh, maybe some context might help.

    I quit smoking cold-turkey about 6 months ago. I was a chain smoker, doing about 55-60 cigarettes a day, averaged over 25 years (started smoking at 15). Also, I was (and still am of course) morbidly obese, and suffering from a lot of health problems (had a stroke five years ago, high blood pressure, pre-diabetic etc etc).

    In the span of one month since I quit, I gained 9kg (~20lb), I presume exclusively consisting of fat. I managed to reach 178kg (392lb), the heaviest I've ever been.

    And then I thought..."well, you managed to quit smoking and take care of your lungs dude, why don't you take care of the rest of your body now?" I've been the classic yo-yo dieter for 15 years now, and looking back, I think I always tended to half-*kitten* it and not take myself and my body seriously. Time for a change!

    Five months in, I've lost those 20 pounds I gained and then 63 more for good measure. I'm 309lb now, and have a long, long, loooooong road ahead of me to fix myself.

    I'll do it though, nothing is going to stop me. And I'm going to have fun on the way too! This time I'm sciencing the *kitten* out of this.

    dWQTEob.png

    I pity that poor fat, it has no chance! None I tell you! >:)
    edited October 2020
  • _inHisGrace_inHisGrace Member Posts: 183 Member Member Posts: 183 Member
    Dante_80 wrote: »
    Reporting for duty, and salutations from Sunny Greece. George, 5'6 and 309lb. Just turned 40. On a trip since May to lose 236lbs in total. 83lbs out, only 153 more to go. <3
    Welcome!!!

  • Dante_80Dante_80 Member Posts: 245 Member Member Posts: 245 Member
    Welcome!!!

    @_inHisGrace Thank you!! It's my birthday today, I just turned 40. At work currently (graveyard shift), decided to celebrate it with...not using the elevator at work at all, and moving exclusively by the stairs?!?!?! :/

    wait. somehow I think my brain gave me the short end of the stick... :s

    edited October 2020
  • conniewilkins56conniewilkins56 Member Posts: 2,583 Member Member Posts: 2,583 Member
    Welcome new members!...join in any chat and feel free to comment....no judgements here!...strong desires and motivation to lose weight in a healthy way....Larger Losers is a great group!
  • CurvyDreamer66CurvyDreamer66 Member Posts: 9 Member Member Posts: 9 Member
    Hello everyone. I'm Jessie. I'm 28. A first time mom. I want to lose 180 pounds total. I'm trying to go keto. Im also doing fasting. I like to Bullet journal. I love Disney. I love Rachel hollis. Im getting married.. I just don't know when because of Covid.... The plan is July 4th. I'm always looking for friends feel free to add me.
  • NovusDiesNovusDies Member, Premium Posts: 8,942 Member Member, Premium Posts: 8,942 Member
    Dante_80 wrote: »
    Oh, maybe some context might help.

    I quit smoking cold-turkey about 6 months ago. I was a chain smoker, doing about 55-60 cigarettes a day, averaged over 25 years (started smoking at 15). Also, I was (and still am of course) morbidly obese, and suffering from a lot of health problems (had a stroke five years ago, high blood pressure, pre-diabetic etc etc).

    In the span of one month since I quit, I gained 9kg (~20lb), I presume exclusively consisting of fat. I managed to reach 178kg (392lb), the heaviest I've ever been.

    And then I thought..."well, you managed to quit smoking and take care of your lungs dude, why don't you take care of the rest of your body now?" I've been the classic yo-yo dieter for 15 years now, and looking back, I think I always tended to half-*kitten* it and not take myself and my body seriously. Time for a change!

    Five months in, I've lost those 20 pounds I gained and then 63 more for good measure. I'm 309lb now, and have a long, long, loooooong road ahead of me to fix myself.

    I'll do it though, nothing is going to stop me. And I'm going to have fun on the way too! This time I'm sciencing the *kitten* out of this.


    I pity that poor fat, it has no chance! None I tell you! >:)

    Hi @Dante_80,

    83 pounds is fantastic and you are very close to having a number with a 2 in front of it.

    The one thing I wouldn't do is worry about the long road. Chop the tree, not the forest. Today is the only day ahead of you. When you are done with today then hand yourself to tomorrow's version of you. If you do well Tomorrow you will be grateful to start from a better place than you did. If you do poorly tomorrow you will hopefully forgive you and do better with his day then you did with yours.
    edited October 2020
  • NovusDiesNovusDies Member, Premium Posts: 8,942 Member Member, Premium Posts: 8,942 Member
    cnb124 wrote: »
    Hello fellow losers! Yes, that was corny. I am new to MFP and would love some friends. I have about 175 pounds to lose. I was furloughed in march and gained 20 pounds but have since lost that amd am back to where I started at the beginning of the year. I want to be fit and healthy by the time I hit 45 years old, I'm 41 now. I have 2 beautiful grandchildren that I want to be around to enjoy for many years. My family, mom, grandma, uncles, have all passed before they hit 60 due to health issues with weight or smoking and I refuse to let that happen to me. I did the weightloss thing years ago and was doing great, lost 50 pounds, but then life happened, as it usually does. Here's to a new healthy lifestyle and much more happiness.

    Hi @cnb124,

    I know the guy that started this group. He was feeling pretty corny the day he named it.

    I would suggest changing your goal from healthy and fit to healthier and fitter. The definition of healthy and fit varies from person to person and even the same person over time. I do not think it is helpful to have a goal that can have moving goal posts. Healthier and fitter are goal you can definitely accomplish and you can accomplish them all along the way. Remember that your health and capabilities will improve and grow as you shrink. Then you can set midrange goals like reducing a dosage of a medication, something that requires additional endurance like walking a certain distance, wearing a smaller size of clothing, etc. I believe it is helpful to build success on success. If you can get to one goal then it should help encourage you when it is time to reach for another.

    I can't know for sure but my instinct tells me I was not going to get much past 55 at my highest weight. Based on the medical reports I was in early stages of some things that often snowball quickly so I might have been right. My health kept improving all along and now as far as I know I have decades not years.

    Welcome.
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