I get that, Connie.
And, I wouldn't give up real pizza crust either - but I have shifted to thin crust which I've come to really like!

There is give up. Bad 🐹 hamster mojo.

There is find something better (or close enough to equal for you because reasons) that you can use instead and be happy.

There is mitigation and damage control.

There is indulgence on occasion.

Examples:
Pasta; candy bars; mayonnaise
-- omg they're evil I'll never eat them again = 🐹🤬🤬🤬

-- Dang: this spiral beats thing contrasting sweet and hot when you spice it and with a nice crunch? That's actually pretty dang good tasting (as are broccoli/cauliflower/carrots riced for rice) 🐹👍 and filling. And low calorie. So I can be crying for not eating pasta, or happy that I'm not taking care of myself and eating something tasty enough on its own.

Similarly for the Rx protein bars, and clif bars instead of candy. Taste good enough. Don't quite give the candy hit (Rx less so than clif re hit). But hey, at least they fill me up a bit longer and I've name a smart move for myself so happy 🐹😎

And mayo--yogurt. Actually I stopped adding Mayo so long ago and replaced it with mustard that I don't even consider it. But making egg salad or potato salad with yogurt was a new thing. And a revelation in terms of not tasting bad at all especially with the addition of say powdered mustard, paprika, or Curry not necessarily all at the same time! 🐹👍

Mitigation and damage control is when trying to talk Dad into trying some of these things. So lightning up by using 50-50 mixes. Or saving the pasta experience for only fresh handmade high-end pasta something like only eating special dark chocolate.

And then there's the indulging on occasion either because you're out or with other people or because you feel like it. And even then I've certainly ordered flour only or light battered fish and chips instead of normal at times. And a two piece plus mushy peas instead of all you can eat fish and chips which I used to do.

But either you have to be approaching this with the desire to experiment and the goal to develop the magical filling low calorie perfectly tasting concoctions that will be perfectly acceptable for you long-term (and actually mean it sooner or later), or you can be approaching this as a disaster that has befallen you that is obliging you to put away everything you love, your identity etc etc

Some things are negotiable to people others aren't.

Priorities can change over time.

Not everything has to be resolved at once and a lot of things can change over time

But the decision of putting things up on the chopping block for evaluation has to come from within because of the desire to actually make changes.

I'm not a psychologist. I suspect a lot of 🐹 handling tricks can be learned from professionals who I have not had the privilege to work with.

But over the years it has always been a surprise to discover, after things changed, how previous perception and reality were not always aligned and were not what they appeared to me to be.

Trust me I didn't even believe I was addicted to nicotine till for financial reasons as a student I started using nicotine gum and discovered that magically 20 minutes after chewing this active ingredient I no longer wanted the cigarette i previously wanted "just because it would feel good"

Or more in terms of the food how deeply I believed, while I was obese, that my mood was in no way affecting my eating. And that I just enjoyed a lot of food as opposed to engaging in episodes of significant overeating. Much of it caused by incorrect thinking about what I was doing and / or COULD do.

Desire to change and explore DIFFERENT NEW things and options is very helpful I think in 🐹 framing changes in life.

At least it was for me once I decided that the previous situation was no longer acceptable to me. And that a LOT more things were on the table for re-evaluation than just food. Work. Focus on myself. Things like that.

We will find new ways to be thin, content, sated people. Who just happen to be exceptionally hot

I'm still looking for a decent low carb pasta recipe to try out. I've tried a few but none really tasted all that great, and for me, zoodles of various kinds just don't substitute for pasta. I can have pasta, but the hubby in his attempt to get back low carb cannot. And the vegetable pastas in the grocery stores are just as high in carbs as the regular pasta, so no bueno there.

But last grocery trip, I found something called Pastabilities which is much better on the carb front, with one serving have 17 net carbs, so I'm giving it a whirl tonight in making a marinara pasta dinner. Homemade spaghetti sauce with mushrooms and bell pepper and a jar of my canned hamburger meatballs. I'm debating on whether to bake it or not; if I can hold the calories for cheese until dinner, I can put a little parmesan and shredded cheese on it and bake it, but we will see how I do.

@bmeadows380 - I think this could serve you well? I'm aiming for grain free more than low carb - so I'm not sure how good the carb numbers look for you. But I have really enjoyed this spaghetti. Lots of protein too! It has a nice feeling of chew like al dente pasta - with a flavourful sauce I thought it was quite fine.

https://livivafoods.com/products/organic-soybean-spaghetti

I agree with separate modifications when cooking for two - or more. For example today we had fish tacos. I made a vinaigrette Cole slaw. Hubby added mayo to his. We both had the Xtreme brand low carb tortillas (50cals). I had plain cooked shrimp in mine. Hubby had breaded fish filets. Added some salsa verde. Takes a little planning but we were both happy.
However I do recall the challenge of making meals for mom when she was living with us. All that made her happy were over boiled heavy German meals. Hubby didn’t like heavy German dinners. So often I was preparing three separate meals several times a day. Like PAV, many times I was less than diplomatic!
I still marvel at Alexandra’s ability to craft separate meals for four people without throwing plates at them.

Now B-this is awesome stuff.

Buttercup squash sounds like something that I would light up with! I will look for it too but I think the only place I would find it is when travelling in the Okanagan when you go through some of the places that have hundreds of varieties of squash that were locally grown! See the growing bit that you do should be downright wonderful in terms of having supplies to plan your menus. Maybe even too wonderful for me... but I can only marvel from afar!

Is hubby trying to eat actual keto, lower carb, or avoid triggering carbs? If keto is it making a difference to him in terms of satiety vs lower carb?

Avoiding triggering carbs was definitely in the cards for myself early on till I got to a point of trusting myself to be able to maintain a deficit in their presence and that did take quite a long while. I would say that it was a good couple of years before I regularly started eating things such as noodles again

Ultimately in my, ongoing, great exploration of what good stuff can I fit in my budget, I definitely gave a lot of power to logging and "swaps" and preferences that evolved over time.

Yoolie: I am going to assume that you somehow ended up in Texas because of hubby being stationed there at some point of time or because of work. But it doesn't SOUND as if you ever took it in as your most favourite place to live! Did you guys decide to stay there because at the time you had grown tired of moving from place to place? I know that multiple moves, even in the same town, early on made me very reluctant to move unless forced to!

goods and bads, right! and without rhymes with OVID, you can even travel!

I could eat the beans in a separate dish from the sauce, right?