Laurie what a day you’re having! It’s going to be a big adjustment for you and son’s family. The important thing is you’ve raised a good responsible adult who is doing what he thinks is best for his family.

You have all my hugs and support, Laurie. I'm in Indiana and my eldest son has said that he wants to move to the northeast (Vermont, to be exact). I'm sure I will also be sad when he leaves.

I thought I had the right summer curtains out, but clearly not once I hung them up. (GRRR) so now I have to refold those and get into the attic and find the right ones. Bleah. Probably should get out the summer carpet while I'm at it.

@Lauriekallis - feel for you - my boys both flown the nest & I miss them (though not their messiness!), though both are within an easy commute - relative to your situation - sending hugs 💕
@Bella_Figuria - we’re in a similar situation, but in reverse; in hilly West Yorks, but would love to move down South - the flat landscape would be a nice change?😉, but we have my MIL & FIL who are becoming more & more dependant! MIL with dementia & the FIL with cardiac problems…..just had the maddest Sunday with them so far 😟😖🙃….. maybe we could home swap for a while??!!!!😁

Over the years of being a caregiver to my mom, I began a notebook as she aged. In it I wrote down the things I found particularly annoying, exasperating and challenging in caring for her. I did this as a reminder to myself as I got older and dependent so that I would not inflict the same pain on son or other caregivers.

Often as we age (I’ll be 75 soon) we get wrapped up in our own selves. We don’t remember what it’s like to be younger, healthier, have demands of work, and the desire to live our lives independently. Trying hard not to be burdensome, a source of guilt and generally unpleasant company. My favorite mug when I was caregiving!

I’ve known several people who were a joy into their 90s. Then there are those who start “aging” badly at 50. Disapproval, disappointment, complaints on every possible topic. People who try to crawl into the past rather than go forward.

Caregivers have a hard time but do so with a loving heart. ❣️ Often a broken heart is also part of the process when it comes to siblings who are happy to let you do the heavy lifting.

I just want to be remembered as a joy rather than an old complaining self-involved Crankypants!

Laurie, I didn't mean to suggest that your son thinks you're in your dotage already! But, as Yooly so insightfully points out above, some folks are old waaaayyyy before their time. And you're clearly NOT one of them. In a clumsy way I was trying to pay you a compliment!

I think it's natural and understandable that you're feeling that a conversation would've been nice before the bombshell was dropped!

On the subject of crabby old folks, though, my mom was adamant she would be independent, no trouble, a veritable saint if she lived to old age...but sadly she wasn't! She remained fiercely mentally independent to the very end, but her body let her down and she was very infirm and frail by the time she died. Being physically dependent soured her already very challenging temperament, and in her misery and humiliation she spared none of us her carping bitterness.

In her last 6 months we siblings had to constantly rally each other's spirits and our constant refrain to each other was: "We'll have to force ourselves to forget all this when she's gone and focus on the good memories."

I've told my husband he has my permission to fake an unfortunate fatal accident by throwing a plugged-in hairdryer in my bath water if I follow in my mother's footsteps!

We none of us think that WE will be the ones that end up crabby and life-souring for our nearest and dearest...but clearly it happens to lots of people and why should we be immune?

On the other hand, I too have met some 90y/o folk who were absolute gems...my dad was one, luckily!

If I'm not already at me dotage, at this rate I will be before the week is done!!!!

Should i really have to explain why it is a bad idea to be looking at swivel recliners (even if they're cheap) if you're likely to push with both hands against one arm in order to get up?🤬🤯🤷🏻‍♂️

Unfortunately the result of the physical demonstration of the stupidity of looking at prices exclusive of function has resulted in a carpet burn knee boo-boo 😹😹😹

Picture to follow!!!!🤣🐹🙀

Bit saddle sore this evening after a 70km off-road ride on our MTBs mainly on forest trails and singletrack. Good fun, but my arthritic thumbs know they've had a good workout today. They're still throbbing, four hours post-ride.

OOOOO---kay---doUGH-kay..... am I grokking this @Bella_Figura ?

I am sitting here with my non hurting carpet burned knee because I demonstrated to someone who ought to know better what is likely to happen to him when he pushes with both hands against the one side of a swivel chair in order to get up!

And, YOU, you are, *VOLUNTARILY*, like--really?--without anyone pointing a gun at you or anything? You are voluntarily going to get on a two wheeled contraption that will CEASE CONTACT with the *kitten* earth while you spin around in the air doing an imitation of a splatted garfield trying to go splat on concrete?

MY MIND
iZ
BOGGLED.

Boggled.

Like, please leave some garfield pieces intact so that she can visit Canada and spend some tourist dollars here -- it's one of my missions in life!!!!

Good going, Athijade. Anxiety is such a whirlwind. Tries to paralyze you just when you most need to move.