I actually prefer weekday lunch, early dinner, or even coffee for a first date because:

1. Don't have to pay for childcare
2. Much shorter time to meet so if we aren't a good fit (usually we aren't, even if they're a nice guy), no big deal
3. I'm pretty social, and my weekends are typically booked with friends/other guys well in advance
4. My friends/peers are less likely to be out, so if the date goes sour or he's NOT what his profile said, no big deal
5. Transparent to my son (he doesn't see Mommy with a different guy each Fri and Sat)

I actually view the idea of "earning" a certain night from the opposite perspective of some of the people on this thread. Weekends are my free time. It's not difficult for me to make arrangements in my schedule for social activities. It is difficult on weeknights because of work, working out, and various domestic responsibilities. I'm a highly regimented person. I do certain things on certain nights every week. If I'm willing to rearrange all of that to go out with you on a weeknight, it means I like you a lot, and my "creature of habit" nonsense can take the backseat.

Yup.. I hate messing up my weekday routine!

But as of lately I've been spending one or two weeknights per week at SL's place. So I guess that means I like him a lot.. but most of the time he doesn't get home from work and unwound until I'm done with all the stuff I have to do anyway.

Depends on the girl I guess... if it's someone I have never met usually during the week, that way I have a hundred reasons to bail if it's not fun or whatever. If it's someone that I have met and have a good feeling about ASAP, don't care what night it is.

My dates happen whatever day/night works into mine and their schedule. I tend to be very busy during the week and usually don't have as many advance plans for the weekend (unless I am going out of town).

For me, it just depends on when we are both available for first dates.......later on weekends are better because there is more time to spend together. During the week, I need all the beauty sleep I can get, so I don't like to be out late

Friday and Saturday nights are typically off limits for a first date. If there's temperate weather, there could be a weekend afternoon activity first date, but that usually won't be going past 6 PM.

Usually anytime between Sunday night-Thursday night are acceptable first date nights. I like Wednesday or Thursday best.

Based on what reasons?

Really because of the perception that Friday and Saturday are prime social hours, particularly for those who don't have kids. It is not good for a man to give his best hours to an unproven person, plus the woman will know that if he's booking her Fri/Sat night, his other prospects probably are not red hot. Women like a little competition in the early going, keeps them on edge. When they're on edge, there's interested. Interested is way better than complete apathy.

I can honestly say, none of those things have ever occurred to me when I set up a date night, be it a weeknight or weekend. If I'm interested in the guy then I'm going to be interested every day of the week.

Of course, I think games are stupid.

In my experience, women tend to be pretty big game players. Not saying every woman is a game player. And many of these things aren’t games from guys, there are ways for men to kindle the interest in women. It is a way of giving women what they want. Also, what people say that they want is often different from what they actually want. My last sentence works in a lot of contexts in life, for both sexes.

@DM

Really??? Have you polled women and this is what they've told you? We like competition?? I think this idea is ridiculous!!!

The idea is less ridiculous than it sounds. Think about it. Why do women reject nice guys? It happens all the time. Those are the first guys kicked to the curb. They don’t excite women, don’t project attraction. Why is that? They are too available, not a challenge. Women like a challenge and the perception of competition is a challenge that is perceived as desirable.

Friday and Saturday nights are typically off limits for a first date. If there's temperate weather, there could be a weekend afternoon activity first date, but that usually won't be going past 6 PM.

Usually anytime between Sunday night-Thursday night are acceptable first date nights. I like Wednesday or Thursday best.

this is my setup 1000%

Thank you Yoovie.

DM - PLEASE!!! PLEASE stop stating your opinions and observations as facts. It's annoying the ever-loving crap out of me.

Also - when you were using online dating (I'm aware that you don't now) did you use the same picture? Just curious...

In my experience, women tend to be pretty big game players. Not saying every woman is a game player. And many of these things aren’t games from guys, there are ways for men to kindle the interest in women. It is a way of giving women what they want. Also, what people say that they want is often different from what they actually want. My last sentence works in a lot of contexts in life, for both sexes.

The idea is less ridiculous than it sounds. Think about it. Why do women reject nice guys? It happens all the time. Those are the first guys kicked to the curb. They don’t excite women, don’t project attraction. Why is that? They are too available, not a challenge. Women like a challenge and the perception of competition is a challenge that is perceived as desirable.

FYI- I think you are dating the wrong immature women- that is why you have these experiences since I don't agree with anything you say.

**edited to fix quotes**

cool. Im immature cause I dont want to give a man a weekend night before I know whether or not he's fun. :drinker:

I never said that. I was talking about his opinion that women are big game players and his nice guy opinion.

Let me see if I can state this more clearly ... What I want is to know that a man is interested in me. If he refuses to go out with me when I want to see him, which may very well be a Friday or Saturday, I don't take it as a sign that he's busy and important. I take it as a sign that I don't matter enough for him to care about MY schedule and MY preferences. Recent events involving two different men in my social life have confirmed to me that when a man wants to be with you, he will make it happen. If he comes up with excuse after excuse about why he can't see you, he's not interested.

Furthermore, women are not all the same! We want different things, and we have different expectations. I have no problem at all with a man I'm dating to also be dating other women, as long as he's honest about it. But I'm not going to "compete" for you. You either want to be with me or you don't. If you keep screwing around and trying to encourage all these different women you're dating to one-up each other like we're dolphins in a tank, vying for the last fish, you're about to have one less woman to worry about. I know exactly what I want, and being someone's form of entertainment is not it.

Let me see if I can state this more clearly ... What I want is to know that a man is interested in me. If he refuses to go out with me when I want to see him, which may very well be a Friday or Saturday, I don't take it as a sign that he's busy and important. I take it as a sign that I don't matter enough for him to care about MY schedule and MY preferences. Recent events involving two different men in my social life have confirmed to me that when a man wants to be with you, he will make it happen. If he comes up with excuse after excuse about why he can't see you, he's not interested.

Furthermore, women are not all the same! We want different things, and we have different expectations. I have no problem at all with a man I'm dating to also be dating other women, as long as he's honest about it. But I'm not going to "compete" for you. You either want to be with me or you don't. If you keep screwing around and trying to encourage all these different women you're dating to one-up each other like we're dolphins in a tank, vying for the last fish, you're about to have one less woman to worry about. I know exactly what I want, and being someone's form of entertainment is not it.

This makes sense. A lot this topic can be boiled down to the issue of trust. If both sides get a sense in the early going that they are both being real in their words and actions, I think it is easier to move away from hard and fast rules. In the absence of said trust, the hard and fast rules get applied. It is reasonable to work with someone’s schedule if there’s a sense they are being real with you.

uhhhh the real reason about weekends though....

I dont want to give up my awesome weekend with my friends and families for what could potentially be a boring-to-nightmarish evening with a stranger.

If im going to waste a day - i would rather it be a day where I dont have to give up plans that are guaranteed to be fun. Or a workout. I'd rather give up a mid-week day when I have nothing planned.

Ideally he will feel the same way. I mean... geez I hope he doesnt have all his weekends free - what a boring dude.

Once he proves he is fun - guaranteed fun, THEN and only then will I allow him to be part of my weekend. Weekends are fun only. First dates are rarely fun.

……


why would he do that if he has no idea if im even fun or if we're even attracted to each other?

...wait... are we talking about meeting someone for a blind date - or yoiur first date with someone that you met and hit it off with instantly? Cause if its like, a friend that is suddenly a date, or a long time crush, or someone I met and had chemistry with and we are planing our first date? then I dont care.

but BLIND DATES and ONLINE DATES? that shts on a wednesday.

I totally get this thought process, just substitute the words he for she.

Furthermore, women are not all the same! We want different things, and we have different expectations. I have no problem at all with a man I'm dating to also be dating other women, as long as he's honest about it. But I'm not going to "compete" for you. You either want to be with me or you don't. If you keep screwing around and trying to encourage all these different women you're dating to one-up each other like we're dolphins in a tank, vying for the last fish, you're about to have one less woman to worry about. I know exactly what I want, and being someone's form of entertainment is not it.

I see where you're coming from, I don't really want to have to compete with anybody either. But if I'm seeing more than one person (which I rarely do, but let's just say hypothetically), and I like them both equally, if it got to the point where I had to choose I'd choose the one that was willing to put in some effort and fight for me a little bit. If the other one was willing to just walk away it says to me she wasn't that into me in the first place. I definitely wouldn't encourage it though, I probably wouldn't even tell them unless they asked or I felt like I had to.

Wow no wonder a lot of us are single some of the stuff that comes out of people's mouths with all these little rules is ridiculous.