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  • @lorrainequiche59 ... my heart goes out to you and your daughter. May you all find peace in this difficult time.
  • If you're comfortable, please explain? I am in an IBR repayment plan.
  • I'm wishing the best for you all and success on your journeys, wherever they may lead you! I'm going to scurry on out of here now. Thanks for the support. :)
  • @lorrainequiche59 ...! "A soft space to land"... I've never heard anyone but myself use this phrase. How interesting! Beyond that, how wonderful that you can be that for him. :)
  • Update: I found a meeting that I really like. It's sweet. It's at a "spiritual enrichment center" and held discussion style. They turn off all the lights and light candles around the room and hold the meeting like that. The resulting darkness and candle-glow provide both a feeling of not being seen, but also of intimacy…
  • Hugs back to you. And thank you for sharing your experience!
  • The frequency (3 in 30) is a pretty new thing for me and likely a result of something like PTSD from my father's illness and death, ending my marriage and separating my family, buying a home, all within a year... or it could be because I'm an alcoholic! I don't know and I'm not one to make rash decisions, nor hold myself…
  • It is just in these last couple years that I've been able to see what a ridiculous people pleaser I was. I say "no thanks" with ease now, and feel no need to explain why/why not. But, if questioned, I have a go-to answer: I don't have a lot of down-time and I require it for my mental health and recovery. BAM. That usually…
  • Status check: Day 3 AF free for me. After nearly 3 months AF (what I thought of as a "reset"), my experiment with my sister to moderate at a concert in mid-December led to others... and I had a head-check recently and realized that I'd drank 4 times in 30 days, and 3 of them were doozies (memory lapses, hangovers, etc).…
  • I stopped swimming in October and at Thanksgiving my sister turned me on to Tabata. I've been doing a 15-minute popsugar routine, plus 12 minutes of tabata (a 4-minute circuit, 3 times) about 4-5 times a week, and running when time allows (only 2 miles, and only about twice a week). My back feels just as strong as when I…
  • Welcome, TheBigYin1984 ! Are you getting any exercise? LMK if you need a friend. :)
  • I had a nutritionist suggest to me once -- in the middle of my pregnancy, no less -- that I should aim to get back to whatever I weighed when I was 18. Good lord, woman. No. JUST NO times infinity.
  • No, while I was in my marriage we both drank very little (him, VERY little, me, a beer almost daily and then a doozy maybe a couple times a year).... It was after I began living alone and had too much time on my hands (and admittedly was a bit giddy about potentially new adult relationships) that I went downhill. Three big…
  • That's quite an accomplishment! Good on ya! Now try for another 18, or really... JUST TODAY. :wink:
  • Side note... how does one change this? I don't think there's any way I'm ever going to get (or need) 218 g of protein a day.
  • Give a holler if you're struggling today. Admittedly, I am. Also, finding it mildly ironic and humorous that I've chosen to be single and sober and nearly the same time. Greeeeeaaaaaat.
  • [/quote] Eek, you misunderstood! I was agreeing with you! Your 3am experience description sounded awful and that you regretted drinking, plus your dilemma over wanting more. I agree it was a success. I love your posts and your progress. [/quote] We're good. :) I'm too happy to be snarky. Wishing us all the best today!
  • Oh, RubyRed427 ...! I wish I could hug you in real life! It's just a hangover, and you know it'll pass, and tomorrow you'll feel better and you will be better informed for the next time. Isn't the idea of a glass of wine lovely? Sounds so classy, so reasonable! ...but apparently it's not us. It's not for us, and it's a…
  • The amount of alcohol, plus the mixing, was truly so much less than what used to be my standard. I used to love a good stiff drink, and followed by a lone beer? All before 10 PM and over a span of 5 hours and a healthy meal? Pffffttt.... back in my old drinking days, this would have been considered "just getting started."…
  • I have a quick story. I went to a concert this weekend with my sister. I knew I was approaching 3 months AF but as I've said all along, I don't know how committed to it I am, and I'm much more comfortable with the term AF or "not drinking right now" as opposed to sobriety. My sister is about 95% AF and we've had similar…
  • @Drummer913 ... so cool! I'm trying my first AF concert next week. Normally this would be SUPER TOUGH for me but I'm going with my sister who is about 90% AF, and it's Willie Nelson... lol. My drinking concerts are usually rowdier bands/musicians. :smiley: So, hey, if you can do it, so can I. Cyber high-five to a sober…
  • But @ElC_76 ... I thought that many kombucha brands have alcohol in them, at least they did about a year ago when I was drinking them. It may not be enough, but it was enough for me to have one at work and ... feel funny. It may be like a slightly different kind of alcohol than what I was used to, and maybe I'm very…
  • I know when I was first considering going AF (for what looked like addiction issues to me, not for caloric reasons), I was shocked how many ppl suggested "Have you just tried maybe sipping on an O'douls?" Jiminy crickets... I found that so insulting. I'm waving my hands and saying I THINK I HAVE A PROBLEM and people are…
  • I'm in! I can commit to a dry month, for sure. Let's do this! :)
  • You've got a cyber community here for you. :)
  • Today wraps up 10 weeks of sobriety for me and I'm stoked about it! I am especially stoked given that I have had an incredibly difficult last 4 weeks and I am still going strong. I appreciate the support and insight I've received here, and feel like I've turned a corner., maybe I'm almost ready to go out in a…
  • @salleewins ... thank you for sharing that. I can't imagine, and I don't want to imagine... and yet, your darkness sheds a light. I hope it's okay to say that. I bet he was a great kid. I believe we are together in spirit with those we love, and I hope you feel him with you sometimes. My best to you. <3
  • Why I am going AF (or considering going AF... I'm still not sure how committed I am to it): My daughter drew me this picture once when I had a bad hangover. Check out the matching dresses and necklaces. It's cute, right?!? And sad, too, and an excellent reminder.
  • I've recently become unable to run due to increased time with my kids. It's an odd thing to admit to: I of course adore them and they are my EVERYTHING! -- but I used the 50-50 custody schedule for self-care (exercise, solitude, getting the house back in order, etc) and I don't have that now. Anyhow.... long story short:…