The Sober Squad- Alcohol Free Living
Replies
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I would highly recommend the following book if you are looking for a fun activity bookto replace alcohol! You should check it out! FUN!
A Book That Takes Its Time: An Unhurried Adventure in Creative Mindfulness (Flow) Hardcover – October 3, 2017
by Irene Smit (Author), Astrid van der Hulst7 -
@RubyRed427 @JenT304
I agree with you and its very difficult when you are making all these changes of not drinking and you DO want encouragement and support from your spouse. Verbal and also action based. It has not been easy of hearing everything you have done wrong while you have been drinking, thus, this is my desire to want change within my own life, please recognize it. Not when is she going to slip again. My husband and I have been drinking buddies and this is a big change for him of me not drinking.
Wishing everyone all the best! Happy Tuesday!
@Rubyred427 How is duolingo, any more lessons? We head to Italy in May and thought I would start doing some Italian lessons again. 😊 💃 🇮🇹5 -
Also! Happy we went out for a Mexican lunch and I usually also have a margarita or a beer, not today! My hubby had a beer and I had a hot tea. Happy!6
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@Fitness327wk It definitely sounds like you hear where I am coming from. My husband and I were also drinking buddies so this is a big change for him. I get that. He is not actively trying to sabotage me at least. I'll be grateful for that much.4
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Status check: Day 3 AF free for me.
After nearly 3 months AF (what I thought of as a "reset"), my experiment with my sister to moderate at a concert in mid-December led to others... and I had a head-check recently and realized that I'd drank 4 times in 30 days, and 3 of them were doozies (memory lapses, hangovers, etc).
I'm back to attending AA 2-3 times a week and while I am still not 100% committed to never having another drink again for the rest of my life, I am committed to today, and cautiously committed to the self-exploration that AA encourages. There are a lot of things in my past to take a look at (nothing BRUTAL but certainly a fair amount of pain), a lot of inner dialogue that needs addressing, and if nothing else, I know that I need to address my need to avoid being vulnerable. This fear of vulnerability has led to too many dark days, and really, what's so scary about taking a long, hard look in the mirror and taking stock? Some truths are harder to come to than others, I guess.11 -
Hey everyone! TODAY is the day I have decided to live a sober life! I'm excited and very scared. I'm hoping I can find support in here and suggestions or advice on how to avoid the temptation to drink. Alcohol is a big part of my life. I drink at the breweries after my work day. I fill growlers up and drink those on the weekend. I'm involved in a lot of group activities where alcohol is a main part of the picture. I have an upcoming girls weekend that was planned to have a lot of drinking and shenanigans......
I tend to turn to the bottle when I'm sad, stressed, tired and that seems like an every day occurrence lately. I need to find something to replace beer. What do you guys drink now that you're not having alcohol? I would love any advice to make this change a reality. Thank you!10 -
lorrainequiche59 wrote: »I want to share the lesson I learned today: Taking care of myself can be something as lame as saying, "I changed my mind, I am not able to do that now." OR before I agree to do someone a favor, "Let me think about that, & get back to you...." OR "NO!! But, if I change my mind, I'll let you know."
Is anyone else out there recovering from people pleasing??
It is just in these last couple years that I've been able to see what a ridiculous people pleaser I was. I say "no thanks" with ease now, and feel no need to explain why/why not. But, if questioned, I have a go-to answer: I don't have a lot of down-time and I require it for my mental health and recovery. BAM. That usually stops the conversation. Lol.
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@Fitness327wk It definitely sounds like you hear where I am coming from. My husband and I were also drinking buddies so this is a big change for him. I get that. He is not actively trying to sabotage me at least.
I do! Thanks for your understanding!2 -
Status check: Day 3 AF free for me.
After nearly 3 months AF (what I thought of as a "reset"), my experiment with my sister to moderate at a concert in mid-December led to others... and I had a head-check recently and realized that I'd drank 4 times in 30 days, and 3 of them were doozies (memory lapses, hangovers, etc).
I'm back to attending AA 2-3 times a week and while I am still not 100% committed to never having another drink again for the rest of my life, I am committed to today, and cautiously committed to the self-exploration that AA encourages. There are a lot of things in my past to take a look at (nothing BRUTAL but certainly a fair amount of pain), a lot of inner dialogue that needs addressing, and if nothing else, I know that I need to address my need to avoid being vulnerable. This fear of vulnerability has led to too many dark days, and really, what's so scary about taking a long, hard look in the mirror and taking stock? Some truths are harder to come to than others, I guess.
This may not apply to your situation, but for me, finally making the commitment has made it easier, not harder, this time. I am done. I don't have to worry about it, let it bother me when others are doing it or whatever. It's just something I don't do anymore. I am protecting my sobriety as if my life depended on it because it very well might.
As an aside, I have never known anyone who drank to memory loss 3 times in a month as an adult and was ever able to drink responsibly and I have known a number of people who drink that much. Regrettably, most still do and it hasn't gotten any better.5 -
Watching more YouTube videos...the latest is Gabor Mate - Childhood Trauma Creates Addiction...for anyone interested in the psychology underlying addiction. This guy has lived it, he's walked the walk and can relate to those he is trying to help.
@joha5603 It's not easy to delve into our past to see what's boiling under the surface...hard to face the pain we've tried to stuff down & avoid through alcohol and other behaviors that end up harming us more in the process. I'm so thankful that there is so much information now and more acceptance toward mental/emotional issues that need to be healed. I personally want to start thriving instead of just surviving...onward & upward
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@errydayimmusclin ... Welcome! You will find much support here from many folks. They have helped me a great deal. I read and lurk alot here and sometimes I add a comment or two. Focus on today, today. Once you get to day 10, it should get easier. There are lots of things to read and many here will suggest searching up Craig Beck on Youtube as a resource. Best of luck to you! Welcome to the Sober Squad!6
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CarvedTones wrote: »This may not apply to your situation, but for me, finally making the commitment has made it easier, not harder, this time. I am done. I don't have to worry about it, let it bother me when others are doing it or whatever. It's just something I don't do anymore. I am protecting my sobriety as if my life depended on it because it very well might.
As an aside, I have never known anyone who drank to memory loss 3 times in a month as an adult and was ever able to drink responsibly and I have known a number of people who drink that much. Regrettably, most still do and it hasn't gotten any better.
The frequency (3 in 30) is a pretty new thing for me and likely a result of something like PTSD from my father's illness and death, ending my marriage and separating my family, buying a home, all within a year... or it could be because I'm an alcoholic! I don't know and I'm not one to make rash decisions, nor hold myself to impossible standards, nor am I fan of labels. One thing I can say with honesty is that I have a problem with alcohol right now.
Something that I have learned in 10+ years of therapy is that, contrary to many messages in our current culture, it's possible to inhabit many spaces and emotional states at one time, and I am more and more comfortable with the unknown. I can feel terrible about the 3 out of 30, AND I can be grateful for the reminder and the "heads up" that it has provided to me. I can know that I need help (just for now? Or for the rest of my life? Unknown!) but also feel okay about not knowing what kind of help, when, who and how. I can say "I think I have a drinking problem" and also say "I may drink again in my future." I'm not sure AA is for me, but I've been welcomed with open arms, and for that I am eternally grateful.
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@Joha5603 Glad to see you back and thank you for your honesty and for sharing the difficult stuff
@Drummer913 Hi there!!!
Welcome to all the new faces. Lots of great comments!!2 -
Hurt my back and other areas of me after a client fell and knocked me down as well. Seem to be thinking of drinking at times. Thought I would tell on myself, so it helps me hang in there. I have been doing so well with losing weight and then this happened.. Some good will come of it. It is frustrating as I got a back injury at work a number of years ago, and it had become highly manageable and almost felt nonexistent.. I can still work so far.8
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Hello all! I’m new on MFP and saw this group. My sober date is 10/4/88 and am thankful for one more day and to hopefully make friends here😊💕12
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@joha5603 Sending you big hugs. You are resilient. And 3 out of 30 is better than 4,5,6.... and so on. I have a drinking problem. And like that Craig Ferguson video said we also have a thinking problem. I think we are highly sensitive and deep thinkers and feelers. You are on the right track. I wish you peace. Thanks for sharing your story. It helps me enormously.
I will catch up on the other messages and welcome @beccabalko48 It would be nice to learn some tips from you.
@salleewins That is awful. Just when you were on track with your fitness. I wish you a speedy recovery. Remember this too shall pass. Xo
@Drummer913 Love those Craig Beck Videos. Good suggestion.4 -
I’m doing well. In the evenings I am more bored since I didn’t sign up for art class or bible class. I think that was a bad idea. I just sit in my house after working out and cooking dinner, and think well is this all there is? Sitting drinking tea and reading. I had a little pity party but this morning feel terrific of course, that I didn’t drink this month.It really is a game changer with how the body reacts and is healing.
I am doing well though. So no worries. I know that I must view myself as a non-drinker. And like Joha , I have a drinking problem. It’s best for my mental state to stay clear of that. No moderation for me.
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Fitness327wk wrote: »I would highly recommend the following book if you are looking for a fun activity bookto replace alcohol! You should check it out! FUN!
A Book That Takes Its Time: An Unhurried Adventure in Creative Mindfulness (Flow) Hardcover – October 3, 2017
by Irene Smit (Author), Astrid van der Hulst
Thank you so much for the book reference! I just popped over to Amazon to check it out and it really resonated with me as something I would love to do. It's now on it's way to me, along with a couple other items from the same publisher.
Thanks again!4 -
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beccabalko48 wrote: »Hello all! I’m new on MFP and saw this group. My sober date is 10/4/88 and am thankful for one more day and to hopefully make friends here😊💕
Awesome on your sobriety! Welcome to the group!2 -
@RubyRed427
If you are not aware of a really cool app called YouVersion The Bible, they have a ton of free daily devotionals based on your selection criteria. Great stuff from examples: Chuck Swindoll, Beth Moore, Pricilla Schirer, etc.. Also, they have another app from YouVersion called Bible Lens and it allows you to select a photo and then it will attach a bible scripture to it, pretty cool!
Some art ideas for fun since you are not signed up for one right now:
- I did a Gratitude book last year from May 1 to Thanksgiving (200 days of gratitude) and took a picture daily and put it in a app called Simple Prints. You can add a page everyday with one picture or multiple and then it will create a scrapbook that you can either save PDF or have it printed hardback.
Okay enough with apps, LOL!
- I like art as well and it helps me to use my creative side of my head. I am very analytical (prior analyst)!
- Daily app called Daily Art : Your dose of art. *They select a piece of art give the synopsis from what area, timeframe etc.. I have always loved looking at art.
- Fun book called FLOW BOOK FOR PAPER LOVERS 6 (2018-19) - new copies Exclusively from Magazines and more Single Issue Magazine (a little pricy; however, a lot of fun art projects). As you know a ton of other stuff mags, etc you can buy.
Have a great day! Headed to Barre (WORKOUT, haha!
) 5 -
Status check: Day 3 AF free for me.
After nearly 3 months AF (what I thought of as a "reset"), my experiment with my sister to moderate at a concert in mid-December led to others... and I had a head-check recently and realized that I'd drank 4 times in 30 days, and 3 of them were doozies (memory lapses, hangovers, etc).
I'm back to attending AA 2-3 times a week and while I am still not 100% committed to never having another drink again for the rest of my life, I am committed to today, and cautiously committed to the self-exploration that AA encourages. There are a lot of things in my past to take a look at (nothing BRUTAL but certainly a fair amount of pain), a lot of inner dialogue that needs addressing, and if nothing else, I know that I need to address my need to avoid being vulnerable. This fear of vulnerability has led to too many dark days, and really, what's so scary about taking a long, hard look in the mirror and taking stock? Some truths are harder to come to than others, I guess.
I've been AF for 2348 days (6.42 years) on day at a time. I still can't say I'll never drink again...Just today I don't plan on taking another drink.
I've been in AA my entire sobriety and it's been the best thing I ever did for myself to help me not drink but to learn how to live life on life's terms.
HUGS friend6 -
i was tempted today out of nowhere....basically because i was bored and life seemed dull....that will be a challenge the farther i go10
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Status check: Day 3 AF free for me.
After nearly 3 months AF (what I thought of as a "reset"), my experiment with my sister to moderate at a concert in mid-December led to others... and I had a head-check recently and realized that I'd drank 4 times in 30 days, and 3 of them were doozies (memory lapses, hangovers, etc).
I'm back to attending AA 2-3 times a week and while I am still not 100% committed to never having another drink again for the rest of my life, I am committed to today, and cautiously committed to the self-exploration that AA encourages. There are a lot of things in my past to take a look at (nothing BRUTAL but certainly a fair amount of pain), a lot of inner dialogue that needs addressing, and if nothing else, I know that I need to address my need to avoid being vulnerable. This fear of vulnerability has led to too many dark days, and really, what's so scary about taking a long, hard look in the mirror and taking stock? Some truths are harder to come to than others, I guess.
I've been AF for 2348 days (6.42 years) on day at a time. I still can't say I'll never drink again...Just today I don't plan on taking another drink.
I've been in AA my entire sobriety and it's been the best thing I ever did for myself to help me not drink but to learn how to live life on life's terms.
HUGS friend
I only have 570 days, but I can say I won't ever drink again. Doubt is not my friend. If I screw this up, I want tough love not compassion. I want to hear what a freaking moron I am. I don't think of myself as a alcoholic who is abstaining; I am someone who doesn't drink. I do not take it day by day; I am in it for the long haul. I made this decision and I control my adherence to it. I am not a good fit for AA. No higher power; it's all on me. I accept full responsibility for my actions that put me on a bad path and I take credit for getting back on track by making a firm decision not to drink because it leads me to making poor decisions.
AA does seem to be a good fit for a lot of people. I am just not one of them.6 -
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salleewins wrote: »
any tips?3 -
Thank you @RubyRed427!
I have gone through periods where I am not sure what to do to be busy lately. Nothing sounds appealing. It is cold out. Work is hard. I think it is winter....I feel tired. One thing I am happy about is not hearing hours and hours of lawnmowing. ha ha. It will come to me and I better get on it as the liquor store looks more appealing and I can't have that. I better put my mind to it tomorrow.
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Fitness327wk wrote: »@RubyRed427
If you are not aware of a really cool app called YouVersion The Bible, they have a ton of free daily devotionals based on your selection criteria. Great stuff from examples: Chuck Swindoll, Beth Moore, Pricilla Schirer, etc.. Also, they have another app from YouVersion called Bible Lens and it allows you to select a photo and then it will attach a bible scripture to it, pretty cool!
Some art ideas for fun since you are not signed up for one right now:
- I did a Gratitude book last year from May 1 to Thanksgiving (200 days of gratitude) and took a picture daily and put it in a app called Simple Prints. You can add a page everyday with one picture or multiple and then it will create a scrapbook that you can either save PDF or have it printed hardback.
Okay enough with apps, LOL!
- I like art as well and it helps me to use my creative side of my head. I am very analytical (prior analyst)!
- Daily app called Daily Art : Your dose of art. *They select a piece of art give the synopsis from what area, timeframe etc.. I have always loved looking at art.
- Fun book called FLOW BOOK FOR PAPER LOVERS 6 (2018-19) - new copies Exclusively from Magazines and more Single Issue Magazine (a little pricy; however, a lot of fun art projects). As you know a ton of other stuff mags, etc you can buy.
Have a great day! Headed to Barre (WORKOUT, haha! )
Thank you! I love that first idea!2 -
@Fitness327wk thank you for these tips! I will look into them. I love them all. 2
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